Take Your Time
by Anne Bensler
Summary: Elliot is a detective at SVU who drives out to a small town regularly to unwind. He's almost given up on true love and is settling for casual hookups these days. One day, he meets a brown-eyed girl that makes him long for more but will she be interested? It is AU but we will come across several familiar faces. Rated M as of chapter 9. COMPLETED.
1. The Town

**The song " Take your Time" by Sam Hunt just wouldn't leave me alone so I had to do something with it, and it had to be E/O. This story is set in a completely alternate universe to make it work. The main characters are based on our favorite couple naturally, only Elliot isn't as closed-off as we all know him. He's a happy single, never been married and hasn't met Olivia yet. The town will remain nameless and is a figment of my lively imagination. Let me know if this is at all interesting.**

 **I'll start by giving you the lyrics to the entire song. I will work them into the story as it unfolds (even though they'll be a bit cheesy sometimes but I couldn't help that!). Will this be just a casual hookup, like the song suggests, or will there be more to it?**

...

 **"Take Your Time" - Sam Hunt**

I don't know if you were looking at me or not.  
You probably smile like that all the time,  
and I don't mean to bother you but  
I couldn't just walk by and not say 'Hi'.

And I know your name  
'cause everybody in here knows your name.  
And you're not looking for anything right now  
so I don't wanna come on strong, don't get me wrong.

Your eyes are so intimidating.  
My heart is pounding but it's just a conversation.  
No, girl I'm not wasted.  
You don't know me,  
I don't know you but I want to

I don't wanna steal your freedom.  
I don't wanna change your mind.  
I don't have to make you love me.  
I just wanna take your time.

I don't wanna wreck your Friday.  
I ain't gonna waste my lines.  
I don't have to take your heart.  
I just wanna take your time.

And I know it starts with 'Hello'  
and the next thing you know you're trying to be nice  
to some guy getting too close  
trying to pick you up, trying to get you drunk

And I'm sure one of your friends is about to come over here  
'cause she's supposed to save you from random guys  
that talk too much and wanna stay too long  
It's the same old song and dance, but I think you know it well

You could've rolled your eyes, told me to go to hell,  
could've walked away but you're still here  
and I'm still here.  
Come on let's see where it goes.

I don't wanna steal your freedom.  
I don't wanna change your mind.  
I don't have to make you love me.  
I just wanna take your time.

I don't have to meet your mother,  
we don't have to cross that line  
I don't wanna steal your covers,  
I just wanna take your time.

I don't wanna go home with you.

I just wanna be alone with you.

I don't wanna steal your freedom.  
I don't wanna change your mind.  
I don't have to make you love me.  
I just wanna take your time.

I don't wanna blow your phone up.  
I just wanna blow your mind.  
I don't have to take your heart.  
I just wanna take your time.

No, I ain't gotta call you baby  
and I ain't gotta call you mine.  
I don't have to take your heart.  
I just wanna take your time.

...

 **1\. The Town**

It had been a long couple of weeks and Detective first grade Elliot Stabler welcomed the few days off with open arms. It was a hot summer and after a quick shower he'd thrown on a white t-shirt and his favorite pair of jeans. His scuffed cowboy boots completed his casual look and he tossed his duffel bag in the backseat of his old jeep. He'd taken the roof down and was looking forward to the drive.

He'd been in the force for almost seven years and he needed to escape the city from time to time. It had taken him a couple of years but he'd finally found the perfect getaway. He'd be in the car for several hours but it was worth the trip. He had noticed that as soon as he left New York City behind him and left the 440, he'd start to relax. The stress of the job and the cases that haunted his dreams would slide off him. He needed those hours in the car to unwind and by the time he'd reach the small town that had been his destination for the past four years, he would be completely relaxed.

He didn't mind being alone. Ever since he'd escaped the Stabler family home at age eighteen to get away from his father and had joined the Marines, he'd been on his own. He had only two really good friends, one from his time in the Marines, and one at the NYPD. Both men were settling down and having families and they had started bugging him lately about finding a woman for himself that would actually want to stick around. When they were all out together, he'd sometimes feel like the fifth wheel, but it didn't bother him enough to do something about it. He was doing just fine flying solo and he enjoyed being free to go where he pleased whenever he pleased. Like today.

It was nearing 4 PM when he finally pulled up in front of the modest motel that had become like a home away from home for him. To anyone else, it wouldn't really look like much but it was his escape, a place to get away from the turmoil that was his job as a detective at the 1-6 in Manhattan. The motel manager knew him by name and he'd gotten to know several of the regulars in the bar across the street. Here, he could just be Elliot. The people here were unhurried. They didn't ask him about his job or his family. They'd talk about the news, that was on 24/7 on the TV behind the bar, and gossip about some of the 17,000 people that inhabited the town, that wouldn't have looked out of place in an old Western movie at all.

After dropping off his things in his motel room, Elliot walked towards the small Italian restaurant down Main Street. He was going to have an early dinner and then lie down for a bit before going out for a drink and enjoy the town's nightlife. The owner waved at him from inside the open kitchen when he entered, and motioned to him that his regular table was free. Elliot sat down and a few minutes later, the owner's young daughter, who was the only waitress there, brought him a beer.

"The usual?" she asked with a wide smile, and Elliot nodded.

He followed her with his eyes as she walked off, admiring her firm round ass and her long tanned legs beneath her short black skirt. He knew she was seeing a guy on and off and maybe she was a little too young for him to consider, but he had a roving eye and he wasn't hiding it.

Elliot had dated over the years but his relationships never lasted long. Girls would be attracted to him because of his well-trained body and even because of his goofy dance moves, but when it came down to the important stuff, he just never clicked with any of them. It was almost like girls were turned off by his seriousness. He was a party goer and always got a lot of attention because he was just fun to be around. Somehow, girls were never prepared to find out that he actually wasn't a shallow man. He'd seen enough of the world to know that it wasn't all fun and games. It was great to go out and relax, but that wasn't real life.

Over time he'd gotten used to it though. So now, he just didn't expect anything serious anymore. He had fun with girls - well, women now that he was nearing the respectable age of thirty - but he knew they wouldn't stick around, so he wasn't invested in relationships anymore. He had his friends and his job, so he had a full life. And every once in a while he'd be here. When he first came to this town, nobody knew him. It was refreshing. The people he'd gotten to know over time didn't bother him and the women he'd met all knew he wouldn't stay. His life was in New York City. He was only there when he had some time off, and that usually wasn't more than twice a year.

After dinner he strolled back to his motel, nodding at the manager slash doorman as he went inside. He walked up to his regular room on the first floor with a view to Main Street. He liked the quiet noise coming from the street and the bars at night. Complete silence was too much for his New York senses to bear so he'd usually leave his window open so he could hear the night sounds of the town. He crashed on the bed fully clothed and was asleep in minutes.

...

Elliot woke up around 9.30 PM and went into the small bathroom to freshen up. He splashed some water in his face and grabbed his shaving foam. His five o'clock shadow had grown into a nine o'clock shadow and if he wanted some action tonight, he'd have to make sure his skin was baby soft and kissable. He knew most of the women already who hung around in the bars on Main Street, and had ventured into the side streets before. He was planning to widen his hunting ground some more tonight so he had to look sharp. After changing into a fresh t-shirt he looked at himself in the mirror again. _What's not to like_ , he thought to himself and grinned at his own reflection, ignoring the small pang in his gut telling him that the packaging was all they were ever going to see. Nobody was truly interested in what was on the inside, in what was really important to him and what made him tick. Why he'd become a cop and why he fought for justice for the abused, for women and children who had become victims of a sick society that seemed so obsessed with protecting the rights of the accused, that the needs of victims were often forgotten.

He shook off the seriousness of his thoughts and grabbed his wallet from his bag. He stuffed it in his back pocket and put on his boots. As he left his room and locked it behind him, he heard a song floating into the hallway and he started whistling along with it while he descended the stairs.

"Go get some, Elliot!" the manager yelled when he passed his booth and Elliot waved at him.

Officially, tenants weren't supposed to bring guests up to their rooms but the manager and his aide had given him a pass on several occasions. Couldn't hurt to have a cop in his corner, the manager had commented once and they had laughed about it together. Yes, many of them knew he was a cop, but still, he was just Elliot out here and he loved it.

...

 **More?**


	2. The Saloon

**2\. The Saloon**

He'd heard about The Saloon, a Country and Western bar in one of the side streets. It was a longer walk than usual, but he wanted to check it out tonight. He'd only be in town for three nights and Zeke, one of his friends at the bar had told him once it was a different crowd out there. Zeke had mentioned a few names and some of them sounded vaguely familiar to him. Zeke confirmed that they frequented the bars on Main Street as well so he might know some of them. They mainly got together at The Saloon to enjoy the music and each others' company, and not be bothered by tourists or drunks too much.

When he walked in, grinning at the swinging doors at the entrance as he pushed them open, he felt right at home immediately. There was quite a crowd but it wasn't packed and there were plenty of barstools and seats available. He loved country music and matched his step with the beat of the song that was playing as he walked over towards the long bar. It earned him several appreciative smiles right away, from men as well as women. _Slick Stabler has arrived_ , he thought to himself. He chose a barstool next to a woman wearing a colorful summer dress and high heels, her long black hair pulled into a pony tail, who was nursing a beer.

"Can I get you another one?" he asked her as he sat down.

"Sure," the woman replied with a smile. "What's your name cowboy?"

"Elliot. Yours?" he replied as he signaled the waiter for two beers.

"Maria."

He thought the name suited her and he guessed she had partly Spanish blood, or Puerto Rican. She was pretty. He had always had a thing for brown eyes. He thought they were mysterious. He'd dated blue eyed girls but he was always more attracted to the mystery of brown-eyed women. They made him want to discover their secrets and tell them his. He tried not to hope that Maria might be different from the others. Usually, they turned out not to be so mysterious after all and were only interested in hanging out with him to have some fun and get laid.

After their beers arrived he toasted to country music and Maria smiled. He wondered if it had sounded cheesy and he looked around the bar as they drank their beers quietly. It was a different crowd indeed. Several guests were wearing cowboy hats and almost all of them wore cowboy boots. At least he didn't stand out in that respect. There was a small dance floor in the back and Elliot looked at a couple of guys trying to create their own line dance, much to the amusement of their female companions. He noticed two women in cowboy hats, a blonde in a black hat and a brunette in a white hat, sitting at the far end of the bar, that was closest to the dance floor. They were also looking at the spectacle on the dance floor and they were clearly discussing the attributes of the men they were watching and weighing their options. When all three men pulled their girlfriends onto the dance floor with them, the women turned back around towards the bar and their drinks.

Maria must have noticed that he was checking out the other guests at the bar and nudged him with her elbow.

"You don't live around here do you? Here on vacation?"

Elliot bobbed his head and glanced at her.

"Something like that. I come out here from time to time to get away from the city."

'Which city?"

"The Big Apple," Elliot grinned.

"Wow. You sure got away then. That's at least a six hour drive."

"At least," he confirmed, "but it's worth it. You live here?"

Maria shook her head.

"No, I'm from up North. My husband is here on business and he insisted I come along. He's always out late so I sit here and pretend to have fun."

 _Husband_. Elliot wasn't very picky when it came to casual sex but marriage was definitely a deal breaker. Boyfriends too for that matter. He wouldn't want anyone moving in on his girl, so he would never do that to someone else.

"Maybe you should tell him this trip is no fun for you then," he offered.

"Oh, he knows that. He just wants to keep an eye on me. Doesn't trust me enough to leave me alone at home."

"But he leaves you alone here, in a bar full of strangers?"

Maria grinned and turned on her stool until her knees were on either side of his knees.

"He thinks I'm too shy to make a move here. But he's wrong. Very wrong," she added with a seductive smile as she put her hands on his thighs.

That was his cue.

"I'm sorry Maria, but I'm not going to make moves on a married woman. If you've got a problem with your man, take it out on him, not me."

Maria shrugged and turned back to her beer.

"Alright. Can't hurt to try, right? I'm sure we'd have some fun. Thanks for the beer."

He nodded, knowing he'd have to give up the stool next to her so she could try again with another guy. He stood up and scanned the bar to find another free stool. One of the two women at the other end of the bar had gotten up so he made his way towards the now empty stool. Before he reached it, some movement on the dance floor caught his eye again and he stopped to look at the couple who was dancing quite sensually to the music. He recognized the woman as one of the two at the bar, the brunette.

"You go, Olivia!" he heard the other woman yell and he looked at the blonde who was cheering on her friend.

He heard more people, mostly men, calling the name Olivia and he looked at the woman on the dance floor again. She must be a regular here, since everybody seemed to know her name. She wasn't exactly linedancing, it was more like dirty dancing and Elliot was intrigued.

She moved easily and he admired her impossibly long legs. She was wearing bootcut jeans over her black boots, and they hung low on her slender hips. Her white shirt clung to her body and he could see a sliver of skin just above her jeans. She had unbuttoned all three buttons of her shirt and he couldn't help staring at the swell of her breasts. The guy she was dancing with was taking the opportunity to grab her ass with both hands and she laughed out loud, throwing her head back as the guy attached his mouth to her neck.

"I swear to God Nick, if you give me a hickey I'll kill you!" she yelled, still laughing, but turning her body slightly so Nick had to release her neck.

Nick pulled her back against him and started grinding his hips against hers. Elliot finally moved again and stood next to Olivia's friend.

"That her boyfriend?" he asked the blonde, leaning in and nudging her with his shoulder.

The blonde turned her head to look at him and he could see she was pleasantly surprised to see him.

"Well, if it isn't our illusive cop from the city. I've seen you at the Tavern on Main Street, right?"

Elliot honestly couldn't remember the blonde with the pale blue eyes and he wondered if he'd ever hooked up with her.

"I'm Kathy," she told him. Still didn't ring a bell.

"You were dating my cousin Annie at the time."

"Oh right," he said, giving the woman a big smile, although he still wasn't entirely sure which Annie she was referring to. At least he hadn't dated this Kathy.

"And to answer your question: no, that's not Olivia's boyfriend. He wants to be, just like half the guys here, but she just isn't looking for anything right now."

"Sure looks like she wants some," Elliot remarked.

The brunette was still dancing, with two guys now.

"Nah, she's just having some fun. She's not getting serious with anyone for a while."

Before Elliot had time to wonder or to ask what Kathy meant by the comment, the song ended and Olivia started leaving the dancefloor, much to the dismay of the the men she had been dancing with. As she made her way back to her friend at the bar, Elliot noticed her eyes for the first time. They were the deepest brown he'd ever seen and his heart skipped a beat. Brown eyes were his weakness, always. If Olivia wasn't a mystery waiting to be unraveled, he didn't know who was.

She looked at him then and he swore she put some extra sway in her hips just for him as she walked up to him while straightening her white cowboy hat on her short brown locks. She brushed past him and her friend and reclaimed her stool at the bar.

"That was fun, huh?" she sighed while grabbing her drink. "I just love that song."

"Yeah, and all the guys know it, so they keep requesting it," Kathy added with a grin.

Olivia laughed it off and Elliot knew he just had to talk to her. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. He could get lost in those big brown eyes and he had to know more about her. She smiled at him then and his mouth went dry. He needed to get back into Slick Stabler mode and fast.

He pretended to look for someone else and started walking past Kathy until he was level with Olivia's stool. He glanced at her then, as if he was only just noticing her.

"Hey, how you doing tonight?" he asked.

He'd sounded casual enough and he felt confident again.

"I don't know if you were looking at me or not. You probably smile like that all the time, and I don't mean to bother you but I couldn't just walk by and not say 'Hi'. It's Olivia, right?"

She was sizing him up, squinting slightly as if she was trying to read his thoughts. Kathy had turned away from her, giving her friend some privacy, and was chatting with Nick, who was trying to get the bartender's attention.

"Yeah, I know your name," Elliot continued boldly. "Everybody in here knows your name. And I know you're not looking for anything right now so I don't wanna come on strong, don't get me wrong."

That earned him another smile, and he knew she thought he was absolutely coming on strong. But he'd gotten her attention.

"Well, you're pretty forward mister. You been drinking much?" she asked him, tilting her head and probing him with her big brown eyes.

Wow, those eyes were intimidating. His heart was pounding but it was just a conversation, right? He'd had a few beers but his mind was still very clear.

"No, girl, I'm not wasted, just interested. You don't know me and I don't know you, but I want to."

She laughed then and the sound sent chills down his back. His level of slick was diminishing by the minute and he needed to relax. Olivia was just finishing her drink – some kind of cocktail - and he motioned at her glass.

"You want another one?"

"Sure. But my mom taught me never to drink with strangers, so you'll have to tell me your name first."

She was flirting with him, rather shamelessly, putting her hand on his arm and rubbing it gently. He had to clear his throat before he could get his name out.

"Elliot, at your service."

...

 **A/N And there we have Olivia. I plan to update this story once a week, on Fridays or Saturdays, but wanted to give you two chapters to start with. Please leave reviews, they boost my ego and my will to write ... :))**


	3. Alone with you

**3\. Alone with you**

Elliot bought Olivia another cocktail and got a large beer for himself. If he wanted a shot at this beautiful woman, he would need to loosen up. He wasn't usually shy but there was something about this one. He tried to get a read on her by gazing into her mesmerizing brown eyes, but she averted them each time he looked at her too long. Oh, the mystery, Elliot thought. He just had to unravel her mystery. He would spend all his days off to try if he had to. He had stopped scanning the room for other girls and was fixated on this one woman completely.

She seemed relaxed, her back leaning against the bar and her legs dangling off the high barstool while she was kicking the stool with the heel of one of her boots.

"So, where you from, Elliot?" she asked. "I don't think I've seen you here before."

He could tell she was trying to be nice and he wracked his brain, trying to come up with something to hold her attention for a bit longer than ten seconds.

"Hey Olivia, I know it starts with 'Hello' and the next thing you know you're trying to be nice to some guy getting too close, trying to pick you up. Trying to get you drunk," he added, lifting his glass.

She fixed her gaze on him again and he had to be quick.

"And I'm sure your friend Kathy here is about to butt in, 'cause she's supposed to save you from random guys that talk too much and wanna stay too long. It's the same old song and dance, but I think you know it well."

They both glanced at Nick at the same time and she grinned. He wanted to convince her to at least give him a chance and have some fun together, so he might get to know a little more about her.

"You could've rolled your eyes, told me to go to hell. You could've walked away but hey, you're still here and I'm still here."

He gave her his patented grin.

"Come on, let's see where it goes. Wanna dance?"

He knew he had her with the eye-rolling comment. She laughed again and swatted his chest.

"You're something else, you know that. Alright, I'll do a dance with you, handsome. Just one."

She slid off her barstool and he held out his hand. She slipped her hand into his and he was surprised at how cold her fingers were. He held her hand up to his mouth and blew on it to warm her, and then rubbed her hand between his big, warm hands.

"Such a gentleman," Olivia commented, and she actually did roll her eyes this time.

Elliot laughed and pulled her towards him by her hand until he could wrap an arm around her waist. She reacted quickly and their bodies collided gently on the dance floor, where they started to move to the rhythm immediately. He'd seen her in action and knew she had all the moves so he would have to keep up. She seemed to have zero respect for personal space and had already pressed her shoulder against his.

"So let's see what you're made of, mystery man," she said softly near his ear and Elliot felt his stomach clench.

He thought he'd gone out to find someone to have some fun with, but it felt like she was the one on the prowl now. He had no trouble keeping up with her though. The song was upbeat and was already half way over when they stepped onto the dance floor. So when the next song started, a slower one, Elliot wrapped both arms around her and looked into her eyes.

"One more Olivia?"

He could tell she was amused and she looked into his eyes just long enough for him to see she might be a little less confident than she was pretending to be. He started swaying to the music, hoping she'd join in again and as he felt her body relax against him, she snaked her arms around his waist.

"Listen, I'm just in town for a few days," he said softly into her ear, and when she turned her head slightly into him, he knew she was listening. "I don't wanna steal your freedom and I don't wanna change your life. I don't have to make you love me. I just wanna spend some time with you, okay? No strings, no empty promises."

He loosened his grip on her a bit so he could look at her face. She wasn't smiling. She was thinking over what he'd said and there were all kinds of emotions swirling around in those beautiful brown orbs.

"I don't wanna wreck your Friday, Olivia. I'm not gonna waste my lines. I don't have to take your heart. I just wanna take your time."

She smiled again, it was almost a sad little smile.

"Well, at least you're honest," she replied.

She leaned her forehead against his shoulder, and due to her cowboy hat, he couldn't see her face at all anymore. But he'd felt a shift in her demeanor. If he didn't know any better, he'd think she was a little disappointed, or sad about something. He rubbed her back gently with his hand, a clumsy attempt to console her without even knowing if she needed consolation. She held him a little tighter and he thought he had made the right observation. He pulled her closer as well, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. He could smell her now and he knew that the mixture of her shampoo, perfume and the sweet cocktail on her breath would haunt him in his dreams.

"Just my time huh, that's all you're asking?"

Her lips grazed his cheek as she spoke and he shivered at the contact.

"Yeah, just you and me. I don't have to meet your mother. We don't have to cross that line. I don't wanna steal your covers or anything. So what do you say?"

"That depends," she said, and the husky tone of her voice made him shiver again. "How would you like to spend that time with me?"

He laughed softly and Olivia turned her head to look at his face. She was smiling as well.

"We can do whatever you want Olivia. I don't wanna go home with you. I just wanna be alone with you."

They glanced around, noting that they were anything but alone right now. Olivia removed her arms from his waist and Elliot released her as well. She grabbed his hand and tugged at it.

"Come on. Let's get out of here."

 _Oh yeah_ , Elliot thought. He'd actually done it. He was leaving The Saloon with the girl half of the customers were lusting after. Olivia walked back to her barstool to grab her black leather jacket that she'd left there, and put it on. She said a quick goodbye to Kathy who just winked at her. They left the bar hand in hand, and as soon as they were out in the street, Olivia let go of his hand and turned around, facing him while continuing to walk backwards.

"So. Whatever I want right?"

"Right."

"I want ice cream."

Elliot didn't miss a beat.

"Then ice cream it is."

"I know the perfect place. Come on."

She turned around and started walking at a brisk pace towards Main Street and turned right at the corner, in the opposite direction of his motel. Elliot jogged after her until they were side by side and asked her what her favorite ice cream was.

"Lemon," she said without hesitation. "It looks so sweet but when you taste it, it bites you in the ass."

"Kinda like you, right?" Elliot said, giving her a gentle slap on her tight butt.

"You don't know the half of it," she smirked. After walking for a while she suddenly grabbed his arm and pushed him into the street.

"There it is, on the other side," she clarified and as they crossed the street he spotted the small Italian ice cream shop named Barba's. He was surprised it was even open at this hour.

"Rafi!" Olivia shouted when they entered and the man behind the counter shouted back,

"Livia! Back for more lemon again?"

Elliot watched Olivia's face as she exchanged a few pleasanteries with the ice cream guy after introducing him to Elliot as Rafael. Elliot wasn't really surprised that they knew each other by name. He bought her the biggest cone of lemon ice cream and went for a smaller vanilla ice cream himself.

"You like 'em sweet and predictable?" Olivia asked, pointing at his ice cream but clearly referring to a lot more than his taste for vanilla.

Elliot laughed out loud.

"You're a piece of work, Olivia. You wanna sit down for a while?"

There were only two small tables in the front of the tiny shop but they were the only ones there so he hoped he could have an actual conversation with her now. Olivia shrugged and flopped down on one of the chairs sideways. She turned her her ice cream around while licking along the rim of the cone, to catch all the drops that were starting to melt before they could trickle down. Elliot had just opened his mouth to take a bite himself but he froze when he saw her tongue darting out and licking at the ice cream. That was so sexy ...

"Close your mouth dear, it's not a very intelligent look," Olivia commented dryly and he snapped his mouth shut quickly.

Elliot thought he heard Rafael chuckle but ignored the man. He was talking to Olivia. He tried to think of a funny comeback but then decided against it. He wanted to know more about her.

"Forgive me for staring," he said. "Have you lived here long? Does your family live here as well?"

She squinted slightly but seemed to let the funny quips go for now as well.

"You're forgiven, all my life and yes," she answered. "How bout you? How did you end up here?"

"I'm from New York City," Elliot told her. "I found this town a few years ago and try to come out here whenever I have a few days off."

Olivia nodded, and swirled her tongue around her ice cream once more. It was almost enchanting to watch.

"Off what?"

The question caught him off guard and it obviously showed on his face.

"You said you come out here when you have some time off. So I asked, off what. What do you do?"

Elliot hesitated. Not everyone responded positively when he said he was a cop. But a lot of people in the town already knew, so he decided he should just be honest.

"I'm a cop. Been one for close to seven years."

"NYPD, and you come to unwind _here_?"

"Yup."

He took a larger bite from his ice cream and waited for her to tell him something more about herself.

"Which unit?"

Apparently, she wasn't done with the questions yet.

"Sex crimes."

 _Let's see what she makes of that._

" _Sex_ crimes. Well well. And the sex crimes cop comes here on his spare time for sex. How quaint."

He suddenly felt a little cheap. And a little offended too.

"I don't just come here for sex," he said seriously. "There are more ways to unwind than just sex."

"Like what?"

"Well, let's see. Like eating ice cream with a beautiful woman in the middle of the night."

She laughed again and he loved the sound of her laughter.

"I think sex works better," she stated, equally seriously. "Don't you?"

He was tempted to go along with her and venture into a little sexy talk, and he could definitely see them having a steamy night together, but something stopped him. It was a strange feeling that he couldn't quite place. It really wasn't just about sex. Not this time. She was different and she was worth more. He wanted to know more about her. About her life, her family, her job, her likes and dislikes. Sure, he'd like to take her up to his room and have his way with her, but there was just something about her. Something delicate despite her brawny behavior and her tough exterior. Something vulnerable, sad even, that she was desperately trying to cover up. And he wanted to get to it. To unravel her. To unravel the mystery that was Olivia.

"Not always," he finally answered. "When you're frustrated or angry you can fuck it out, sure. But it can be just as calming to just sit together, like we are now, and talk about normal stuff. Like pets or hobbies, all that mediocre stuff. Or even watch the sun set together. That's getting away from it all too, right?"

Olivia looked at him as if she couldn't really believe he meant what he was saying. She was studying his face, probably waiting for the punch line, but there wasn't one. Not this time. She shook her head slightly and took a bite out of her cone, causing some ice cream to end up on her chin.

"Here, allow me," Elliot said quickly as he got up.

He caught the drop of lemon ice cream before it could drip on her jacket and swiped it up off her chin. He licked it off his finger and made a face.

"Hm. Sour."

Olivia grinned.

"Told ya. Bites you in the ass."

When they finished their ice creams, Olivia stood up to go back outside, waving goodbye to Rafael. He realized she hadn't actually told him anything about herself yet.

"I have to get home," she stated matter-of-factly and he wasn't even disappointed, almost as if he'd expected the night to end this way.

"My motel is that way," Elliot said, pointing down Main Street.

"My place is the other way," Olivia said, and she took a few steps backwards in the direction of her home.

"Will you be around tomorrow?" Elliot asked her quickly.

"You said you weren't gonna wreck my Friday," she reminded him, continuing to walk away from him backwards.

"I won't. Promise. I just wanna hang out with you," he replied, raising his voice a bit because she was walking further and further away.

"You just want my time."

"Just your time. You and me. Name the place and I'll be there."

She laughed out loud again and stopped for a second.

"Okay. Dana's Diner. Noon. Goodnight!"

 _Yessss_.

He couldn't believe it. He hadn't even scored a tiny kiss and he was jumping for joy that she was meeting him for lunch the next day. _You're getting soft, Stabler_ , he told himself. He strolled back to his motel, mentally preparing himself for the manager's comments when he'd see him come back alone. He'd wanted to take her up to his room. Absolutely. But he was even more interested in unraveling the mystery that was Olivia. In spending time with her. For real. When he tried to pick her up, it had just been a line. It wasn't anymore. He just had to see her again.

...

...

 **To be continued next Friday. Leave your thoughts?**


	4. The Diner

**I decided to update a day early, hope you don't mind? Enjoy!**

...

 **4\. The Diner**

Elliot hadn't slept as well as he used to when he was in town. He'd taken a hot shower but after lying awake for at least an hour, he'd taken a cold one in stead to cool off his hot, sweaty skin. It hadn't worked and he ended up falling asleep when it was getting light outside already. Maybe he'd just needed the sounds of people coming and going to lull him to sleep. Or maybe thoughts of a pair of beautiful brown eyes had kept him awake. After a few hours of restless sleep, he woke up slightly disoriented. He sat up and looked around, and then he remembered. He was here and he was meeting _her_ for lunch. Dana's Diner. Noon. What time was it? Elliot checked his watch and couldn't believe it was past nine already. He got up and cleaned himself up a bit before stepping out for some breakfast.

"No luck last night Elliot?"

Elliot stopped to look at the young manager's aide who always had the early morning shift in the doorman's booth, right after his night shift at the all-night pharmacy.

"Oh, I had some luck Simon. Met the most gorgeous woman. I'm meeting her for lunch later."

"Well well, the slow approach. That's kinda new for you, isn't it?"

Elliot leaned against the counter and grinned at Simon through the glass.

"Actually, it's kinda old for me. I used to be all invested and trying to get to know them. But it's like they're never really interested. They just want to get laid and move on, so I started going along with that. Wasn't always like that though."

Simon nodded.

"So. This one's really different?"

Elliot shrugged.

"Don't know yet. I bought her some ice cream last night and it seemed to be all she was after. I'd like to get to know her some more though so I'm just gonna feel her out a bit later."

"Ice cream!" Simon exclaimed. "Don't tell me she dragged you all the way to that little Italian shop? My sister's crazy about it too. Can't go two days without her fix of lemon ice cream."

"Your sister, huh?"

His sister? Elliot didn't even know Simon had a sister. How would he know? He never asked.

"Yeah, name's Liv. She's a couple years older than me. She's hot too if you're interested. Although I think she's done with men for a while. She's had it rough lately."

Liv. That could be short for Olivia. Could she be Simon's sister? Simon wasn't much to look at and he didn't even have brown eyes. It couldn't be.

"You know she's really my half-sister? Long story. We only found out a few years back. But she's a great girl. I hope she gets back in the saddle soon. She works at Dana's Diner over on Lake Street."

Dana's Diner. There was such a thing as too much coincidence. Elliot thought it wise not to say anything to Simon just yet. If Olivia was indeed his sister, he might go protective little brother on him and he wasn't ready for that. He wasn't sure what he was ready for at all. It was supposed to be casual in this town but he had a strong urge to get to know more about this girl.

"Great. Maybe I'll run into her while I'm here," Elliot said, tapping on the counter before pushing himself up off it to head out.

"Say hi to her for me if you do," Simon called after him. "I don't see her much these days. Our working hours are practically opposites."

Elliot made a salute gesture to Simon and walked off to get some breakfast at last.

...

He had decided to buy a cowboy hat. The hot sun was beating down on the town and his sunglasses just weren't enough. The brown hat really went well with the rest of his outfit, his patented faded jeans and a light blue t-shirt, and of course his scuffed brown boots. He'd bought a newspaper and was sitting on the porch of the Tavern across from his motel, just reading the paper and watching the town life around him. This was what time off should be and he was content. Every once in a while he glanced at his watch though. To see if it was noon yet. Lake Street wasn't too far away but he didn't want to be late. If she really worked at that diner, she would notice. And if she really worked there, she would just be on a lunch break and wouldn't have much time. And he wanted to make good use of every second of her time.

At 11.50 he closed his newspaper and got up. He stretched his muscles and grinned when two school girls walking by started giggling as they looked at him and then at each other. He knew he looked good. He was at the gym three times a week whenever work allowed it, and even used the equipment at the station to stay in shape. As soon as his muscles had started bulging a bit, he'd started wearing tight shirts to show them off. It was a turn-on for most women, especially when they were getting tipsy and started squeezing his biceps. He wondered if it would matter to Olivia at all and quickly started walking towards the diner.

It was a nice place, very light due to lots of windows that went all the way down to the floor. It was very clean, with three rows of tables and even a small play area for kids in the back, with a door to a small playground outside. Elliot looked around to see if Olivia was there but he didn't see her at any of the tables. He looked at the staff behind the long counter but didn't see her there either. Just when he turned around to take a seat at one of the tables, he heard a familiar voice. It had to be her.

"No, you can play on the swing later but you have to finish your sandwich first, okay honey? Just sit tight and I'll get you some more milk."

His eyes drifted towards the play area and then he saw her. She'd been leaning over an adorable little girl who was sitting at the Lego table with a plate. She was standing up straight now, supporting her lower back with both hands as she stretched the muscles of her back. She was wearing a white short sleeved blouse and a black skirt, and white sneakers. Just like the other two girls behind the counter. So she did work here. And she had to be Simon's sister ...

"Liv, I think your beau is here!" a redheaded waitress shouted, looking at Olivia but pointing at Elliot.

She turned around on her heels and looked at him, her mouth slightly open and a surprised look on her face.

"Oh. You came," she said, glancing back at the little girl before giving him a small smile.

"I just have to get her some milk okay? I'll be right with you."

Elliot just nodded and watched her duck behind the counter to grab some milk from the refrigerator.

"Take a seat hun," the other girl told him. "Anywhere you want."

Elliot decided to walk further into the diner so they would sit close to the little girl in the play area. As he sat down, he took a closer look at the girl. She was wearing a sleeveless summer dress with a cheerful flower print and a pair of adorable ballerina shoes with pink roses on the straps. Her brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she had eyes that had a color he couldn't really name right away. Something between green and brown. She was munching her sandwich and Elliot couldn't help staring at her. She couldn't be more than three years old.

Olivia returned with a glass of milk with a straw and placed it in front of the girl.

"Now you drink all of that, okay Nina? When you're done, you can play outside. I'll be right here with Elliot," she added, gesturing at the table he was sitting at.

"Okay," the girl said timidly, suddenly aware of the man that was watching her.

Elliot averted his eyes and looked at Olivia in stead. She was taking a seat opposite him and clasped her hands together underneath her chin.

"Well well," she started right away with a smile. "The cowboy came back for more of my time."

Elliot grinned.

"Sure. We had fun last night so I'm back for seconds. By the way, Simon asked me to say hi."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Simon? My brother?"

"Yeah. He works at my motel. He never told me he had such a beautiful sister."

She smiled, accepting the compliment. The redhead came up to the table, grinning at her co-worker, and asked if she could take their orders. Elliot hadn't looked at the menu yet and looked at Olivia.

"What do you recommend?" he asked her.

"Well, Sandy here makes the best subs in town so I would definitely recommend those. And if you have a big appetite, you might want to try our stake too."

Elliot thought a sub sounded good so they both ordered one. Olivia thought that a big man like himself might want to eat more but he assured her it was fine. If he got hungry again, he could just stick around an order something else.

"You're not going to hang out here all day are you?" Olivia asked him. "My break only lasts half an hour. 45 minutes tops before the girls get restless."

He could think of worse ways to spend his afternoon than watching her work but he decided not to come on too strong. They enjoyed a cup of coffee while waiting for their subs, and little Nina walked over to them.

"Liv, can I go outside now?" she asked politely.

Olivia looked around her at her plate. She had not eaten the crusts of her sandwich. Olivia smiled and rubbed Nina's arm.

"Alright, you can play. I won't tell your mom you left your crusts this time."

A feeling of relief washed over Elliot that took him by surprise. The little girl wasn't Olivia's daughter. Why would that matter to him one way or the other? He shook his head at himself and followed the girl with his eyes as she skipped towards the backdoor and pushed it open to go play on the swing outside. When he looked at Olivia again, he could see a softness in her eyes as she watched the young girl. It was clear to him that she loved her very much.

"Are you watching her for someone?"

Olivia turned her attention back to him and nodded.

"Yeah. My friend had an emergency and asked me to keep an eye on her. It's just for an hour or so and she's the sweetest kid. It's no trouble at all, and Dana doesn't mind, fortunately."

Elliot looked at the two girls behind the counter again, wondering if the second one could be Dana.

"Oh, Dana's not here," Olivia said, clearly guessing what he was thinking. "She only works nights and weekends. The three of us hold the fort during work days. Usually we work in two's but on Fridays it's always super busy."

"It's not so busy now," Elliot commented as Sandy walked up to them with their orders.

"No. That's why I said noon. The crowd doesn't come in until one."

...

They had a very relaxed lunch and chatted about all kinds of things. About their jobs and about little Nina, who lived next door to Olivia and sometimes slept over with her in her bed. He could just picture the two of them having fun together. He asked about her family cautiously, remembering Simon had said she was his half-sister. Olivia didn't offer up much information. She confirmed that she and Simon had the same father but different mothers, that her mother had died a few years earlier and that she was currently living with Simon and his mother. Elliot thought it was a surprising arrangement but decided not to ask any further about it. It wasn't a big town and the intricate family relations of small towns often escaped him. Olivia didn't mention her father again so he guessed the man was out of the picture.

"So, do you have to work this weekend?" he asked her as they were finishing their subs.

They had ordered two diet cokes with their lunch and she took a few sips through her straw while looking at him.

"You want _more_ of my time?" she asked.

He laughed and she did as well. Yes, he wanted more time. He felt good around her and couldn't imagine hooking up with another woman this weekend.

"Will you be at The Saloon again tonight?" he asked since she obviously wasn't going to answer his first question.

She bobbed her head and he watched her mouth as she took the straw between her lips again and took another sip. She had the most beautiful full lips he'd ever seen.

"Probably."

"Then I'll be there too."

...

...

 **A/N: I know, I'm peeling away the layers of Olivia's background and history very slowly. For now, the story is from Elliot's point of view only. It will take some time before we will see Olivia's side of things. Let me know if this is still interesting and maybe I'll upload the next chapter a little early too :)**


	5. Take my time

**Since writing is going very well for me, and because you've asked me to reconsider my update frequency, I have decided to ... (drum roll) upload one chapter on Monday and one chapter on Friday from now on. So here is your Monday edition of this week!**

 **A little explanation about the familiar faces we meet in Olivia's town: I haven't moved any of the main characters from seasons 1-12 there, since that would interfere with Elliot's background. So, aside from the characters I have invented myself, you will only find (recurring) guests from the E/O seasons and main characters from season 13 on up in town - At LaceNLeather24: that is why the redhead at the diner couldn't be Casey ;)**

...

 **5\. Take my time**

Elliot had left the diner at a quarter to one. Olivia's co-workers Sandy and Tina had really needed her help to pre-prepare some of the meals they were expecting to serve after one. During summer, a lot of local companies closed up early on Friday and a lot of men had some lunch before either heading home or hitting the bars. Olivia had told him the customers ranged from lumberjacks to construction workers to office personnel and usually they were all men. Elliot wasn't sure if he liked that she would be surrounded by such a rugged crowd but she had assured him she could take them on.

Still, he couldn't stay away so after half an hour, he was back on Lake Street, hanging out at a news stand across the street from Dana's Diner. Olivia wasn't kidding. The place was packed and there were still more men going in. He could see the white blouses and black skirts moving around, serving all the tables. He couldn't really tell which girl was which from across the street, until he saw Olivia, practically pressed up against the window to serve one of the tables in the front. Her customer, a heavy set man with suspenders holding up his work pants, put a big hand on her butt and Elliot frowned. His first instinct was to go over there and give the guy a piece of his mind. Or his fist. He didn't want him touching her. But what was it to him? He saw Olivia give the man a wide smile and a pat on his balding scalp. The man retracted his hand to grab the drink she was holding out to him and before Elliot could blink, she was off to get another order.

What was he doing out here anyway? He should be at the Tavern by now, to catch up with the guys. He tapped his hat by way of greeting to the man in the news stand, and started strolling back to Main Street.

...

It was good to see everyone again. They'd missed him the night before, they told him. Zeke and his brother Dwight had seen his jeep parked in front of the motel, so they knew he'd arrived on Thursday. Elliot reminded them that he was going to check out The Saloon this time and they wanted to know all about it. Who was there, who was doing what with whom. All the local gossip. He made sure not to mention Simon's sister to them because news always travelled fast in town and Marty was one of Simon's co-workers at the pharmacy. He just told them he was going there again tonight, and the guys had fun speculating about who he was so anxious to see again.

After about seven beers, Elliot repeated his steps from the day before. He had an early dinner and afterwards, he went up to his room to get some sleep. He was a little buzzed and hoped he'd sleep better than the night before, because he really wanted to go back to The Saloon to spend some more time with Olivia.

It was busier than the night before. Clearly, the weekend had started. There were no stools free at the bar, so Elliot just held his beer and wandered towards the dance floor to see if Olivia was there yet. He didn't see her but he did spot Nick, her clingy dance partner of the previous night. He was dancing with a blonde who seemed to be getting drunk already and was all over him.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around. He felt a small twinge of disappointment when he saw Kathy smiling at him.

"Hey, you came back. Can't stay away from Olivia? She told me you two had lunch together."

"Yeah."

Elliot nodded and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

"She said she'd probably be here tonight," he said, hoping to get confirmation from her friend.

"Oh, she will. She's just running late but she should be on her way now. Oh my God ..."

Elliot looked at Kathy and then followed her gaze. She was staring at Nick and the blonde on the dance floor.

"I can't believe he's dancing with _her_ again. She _knows_ he's in love with Olivia and she's still all over him. Well, I guess it's the southern way."

Kathy moved away from him and strolled over to the dance floor.

"Hi Nick! Hi _A-maan-da_ ," he heard her say, putting a southern accent on the name Amanda.

Kathy walked over to the barstool where she'd sat the night before, and the man who was occupying it jumped up immediately, tapping his hat and winking at the blonde. Elliot figured that Olivia would soon be occupying 'her' stool again too.

...

He'd taken a leak in the alley behind The Saloon and when he came back inside, there was still no sign of Olivia. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so smitten with a girl that he wasn't even looking at the other women around him anymore. He checked each white cowboy hat, hoping he'd see her beautiful brown eyes beneath them, but so far, it seemed she hadn't arrived yet. He was standing next to the dance floor again, and saw the southern blonde coming straight at him.

"Hey you," she slurred. "A new face at last. I'm looking for _any_ one who is _not_ drooling over Olivia _fuckin'_ Benson okay? Wanna dance?"

Amanda must have been dumped by Nick, that she was looking for another victim. Elliot wasn't the least bit interested though. All he could focus on was his latest discovery: Olivia's last name. Amanda was closing in on him though, and grabbed his bicep.

" _Hey_. I said, wanna dance."

Before Elliot could respond one way or the other, another hand wrapped around his wrist from behind and he heard a voice next to him.

"I'm sorry Amanda, but Elliot promised _me_ this dance."

 _It's her._

"Olivia _fuckin'_ Benson," Amanda slurred. "How many guys can you take on in one night girl. Don't your pussy need a rest for at least five minutes!"

Elliot thought that was very rude and uncalled for and he wanted to confront the blonde, but Olivia laughed out loud and the sound made him blank out completely. Olivia waved her hand at Amanda that she should move aside, and dragged him along towards the dance floor.

"Come on El, dance with me. You can thank me later for rescuing you from dragon lady over there."

 _El?_

She just called him _El?_

"Sure thing Liv," he answered quickly, and if Olivia registered his use of the nickname, she wasn't showing it.

They danced to several songs and he just loved to watch her move. Sometimes they would dance completely separately and sometimes they'd be very close. He didn't know what he loved the most, to watch her dance or to feel her body pressed up against his. After a while, he decided on the latter and his manhood agreed completely. He tried to hide the beginnings of his arousal from her but somehow, he thought she already knew. Her brown eyes were smiling at his blues as if she was telling him she could see right through him, but that she wouldn't tell anyone about his secrets.

After a while they headed for the bar, where Olivia's stool was immediately vacated as Elliot had expected. Kathy was dancing too, so he took her stool next to Olivia for the time being. He ordered drinks for both of them, and they just watched the other people dance. Kathy joined them after a while and introduced them to her new friend David, who was a lawyer. It looked like Kathy would be leaving with David soon, judging by how far their hands were already up each others' clothes, and Elliot grinned at Olivia. After saying goodbye to the couple, they turned towards the bartender, and their knees touched as they turned simultaneously. Elliot was feeling bold and put a hand on Olivia's thigh while signaling the waiter for another round of drinks. When Olivia put her hand over his, his heart skipped a beat. They drank in silence and he reveled in the feeling of her thigh under his hand, and her hand on top of his. Normally, he would have been shoving his tongue down his date's throat by now and he wondered if maybe he really was getting soft. Holding hands after midnight with the most beautiful woman in the bar? Come _on_.

But Olivia seemed at ease with him. And somehow, that was worth a lot. He wanted her to be at ease with him. He still wanted to unravel her. Not just her body, but her mind as well. He still hardly knew anything about her and he wanted to.

Nick resurfaced and stood very close to Olivia. Too close. He was actually leaning against her back and Elliot was pretty sure his lips were touching her ear as he whispered something to her. Olivia just shrugged, but she let go of Elliot's hand so he decided to remove his hand from her thigh for now. Nick was eying him and Elliot just nodded at the man. He wasn't doing anything wrong and he couldn't help it that Olivia clearly didn't reciprocate the man's feelings for her. Nick shrugged and walked away.

"You blow him off?" Elliot asked, and Olivia smirked, sipping her drink.

"Something like that. I told him I was going home with you later."

Elliot almost choked on his beer and cleared his throat.

"You what?"

She laughed.

"Don't you want me to come with you?"

Oh, he did. He wanted her to come. Over and over again. He wanted to take her back to his motel. No, to New York. Or anywhere else she wanted to go. Only he wasn't sure if she'd meant it. She wasn't like those other girls, who would just pick up a guy for a one night stand. He wasn't sure how he knew, he just did. Despite her flirting with every guy who looked at her, she hadn't seen her kiss anyone, or touch anyone below the waist. And last night, she'd just had an ice cream and had gone home. That Amanda person was way off base. Olivia went out and had fun, but she wasn't getting any. At all. He remembered Kathy's words, and Simon's too.

 _She's not getting serious with anyone for a while._

 _I think she's done with men for a while. She's had it rough lately._

What was that about?

"Sure," he finally answered her question, ignoring her curious glance when it took him forever to answer her. "But only if that's what you want, too."

Olivia sighed and smiled.

"Still such a gentleman. You're nice, Elliot."

"Thank you. You wanna get out of here and get some air?"

She tilted her head and seemed to be debating something in her head. Then she nodded.

"Okay. I think I'll be safe outside with a cop by my side."

His stomach started churning when they walked back to Main Street and turned left, in the direction of his motel. Was she really coming with him? She was holding on to his arm and he wondered if she'd had too much to drink. He didn't want to cross the line with her if she was drunk. So he decided he should ask her where they were going.

"Hey Liv, where are we headed?"

She smiled without looking at him.

"You tell me."

He stopped walking and put a hand on her arm, that was still looped through his.

"I told you yesterday, whatever you want. I''ll be gone day after tomorrow so I don't want you to do anything you'll regret."

She looked up at him through her eyelashes and she almost seemed sad.

"You're different," she said softly.

Yeah, he was. And for once, he wasn't afraid to show it. Because of her.

"Different from who?" he asked.

"Everyone here," she answered, making a wide gesture with her free arm. "You see how they act around me. They just want my body. They don't care about me. You ... you really are different."

She was actually opening up to him and his heart was racing. There was no room for error now.

"Olivia, I won't deny that I would very much like to explore your body."

She gave him a small smile and he could tell she knew there was more.

"But I'm absolutely interested in you as a person too."

She bit her lip and he thought she looked adorable. Slick Stabler was being turned to mush on the spot, into Sap Stabler.

"I'll be honest with you here. I hadn't expected it. I'm usually no different from those guys at all."

She let go of his arm and he wondered if maybe that was a little bit too much honesty.

"But with you, I just wanna take my time. Get to know you. Find out what you like and what you hate. Like lemon ice cream and Sandy's subs."

She chuckled at that and he was relieved.

"I thought you wanted to take _my_ time," she said with a smile.

"I do. I want to take your time and I want to take my time spending it wisely."

Olivia put a hand on her chest, sighing dramatically. She sure knew how to lighten the mood after so much sappiness.

"So profound. So deep. I've landed myself a philosopher cop," she sighed, and he laughed out loud.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. She lifted her head to look into his eyes, and suddenly their mouths were incredibly close.

"You want me to walk you home?" he asked softly, not pulling away.

"Okay," she answered, almost whispering, her eyes dropping to his lips.

She was holding her breath and so was he. Take your time Stabler, he told himself. You still have to walk her home.

"Let's go then."

She nodded and breathed out slowly. Elliot tossed his head in the opposite direction of his motel.

"That way?"

"Yes."

...

...

 **A/N For those of you who are interested in other Alternate Universe E/O stories: You should check out Revival by Stabson if you haven't yet. It's great! 30+ chapters and counting. See you on Friday.**


	6. Call you baby

**Much to my surprise I got a review to chapter 5 that was so way off base that I decided to delete it. (And I have never deleted a guest review before!) Sorry girl but no, you did not understand correctly.**

 **I don't mind criticism but it should to be about this story or about my writing style, not about things that aren't in the story ...**

 **To all of you who seem to 'get' that I'm divulging little bits of Olivia's life gradually on purpose, so we will not understand fully just yet why she does what she does (or _seems_ to do), thank you! Now, without further ado, here is chapter 6.**

...

 **6\. Call you baby**

It was quite a long walk from her house back to his motel. At least twenty five minutes. It gave him enough time to go over his evening with her. Olivia. What was wrong with him anyway? He wasn't sure if she really would have gone up to his room with him, but he hadn't even tried to get her to come along. In stead, he'd told her he wanted to get to know her better. Like, get to know her better _first_. He was such a sap. Well, at least he'd gotten a kiss. He thought back to those moments outside her door.

 _She led him through several streets until she pointed at a wooden house with wooden steps leading up to the front porch._

 _"That's it," she said._

 _It was the first thing she'd said since they had turned around to walk to her place. They had both been caught up in their own thoughts. It hadn't been an uncomfortable silence. It was almost familiar, as if they'd known each other for years and didn't need words. But here they were, in front of her house, so he would have to say something now._

 _"And you live here with Simon and his mom?"_

 _She grinned and turned to face him._

 _"Yeah. Can you believe it, at my age? I should be looking for my own place by now, right?"_

 _Elliot wondered exactly how old she was, but didn't ask. He figured she would be about twenty five._

 _"That's not what I meant. Why move out if it works?"_

 _"Do you share a place with anyone else Elliot?" she asked, and he was glad she wasn't trying to get rid of him as quickly as possible._

 _He shook his head._

 _"Nope. Been on my own since I was eighteen."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Didn't exactly see eye to eye with my old man. I left to join the Marines as soon as I was old enough and never looked back."_

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _He could tell she meant it but he shrugged._

 _"Don't be. Best decision I ever made. I can take care of myself."_

 _She smiled then, and put a hand on his upper arm, rubbing it gently._

 _"I'm sure you can, Mr. NYPD. But it sucks when families are torn apart. You carry that with you, whether you want to or not."_

 _Elliot put his hand over hers on his arm and gave it a squeeze._

 _"I suppose you know all about that too, huh?"_

 _She averted her eyes then, dropping her hand away from his arm, and he knew he shouldn't ask any further. It was clearly a touchy subject for her. Still, he wanted to say something to make it better. To chase away the sadness in her eyes. He reached up to put a finger under her chin and moved her head up gently until she looked at him again._

 _"Hey. It's okay. At least we have something in common, right?"_

 _He smiled at her, hoping she'd understand that he didn't mind talking about serious stuff. It actually made him feel closer to her. Olivia smiled too, and took a small step towards him._

 _"I guess so."_

 _His eyes dropped to her full lips automatically and her smile grew wider. He looked into her eyes again, just in time to see them close as she tilted her head. As her lips brushed over his, he closed his eyes as well and moved his hand from her chin to the side of her neck._

 _She tasted like vodka and strawberries and he pressed his lips to hers with more force, until she opened her mouth slightly to nip at his upper lip. His free hand slipped around her waist and he pulled her closer to him as he sucked her lower lip between his gently before kissing her once more. She sighed then and he opened his eyes. Hers were open too, and they pulled back simultaneously._

 _"I should be getting inside," she said softly, and he could have sworn she was nervous._

 _She was the most stunning woman of the entire town. Why on earth would she be nervous about anything? It couldn't be because of him, could it? He placed another quick kiss on her lips and nodded then._

 _"Okay. Will I see you again tomorrow?"_

 _"You know where I work."_

 _"You don't work on weekends."_

 _"So perceptive."_

 _More like a lucky guess._

 _"Can I have your phone number?"_

 _"What for?"_

 _They were responding to each other so quickly that it was making him a little giddy. How could he be so in sync with a woman he'd only met a day ago? He laughed and tapped her nose._

 _"To call you, baby. I wanna see you again. I don't wanna blow your phone up, I just wanna blow your mind."_

 _She laughed at his last comment._

 _"Well, you better think of something really special if you wanna take even more of my time and 'blow my mind' as you put it," she grinned. "Now listen carefully so you can memorize the number."_

He was still repeating the number in his head, so he could write it down as soon as he got to his room. She'd hugged him when they finally split up and had dashed up the stairs to her front door before he could say anything else. Now he had to think of something really special they could do the next day. He didn't know where those words had come from, he'd just blurted them out. I wanna blow your mind. Who said that out loud to a girl? Well, he did, obviously. Sap Stabler.

...

He slept better that night. It was his second night in town and after the third night, he'd be leaving. And he was still sleeping alone. Still, he was more at peace than he'd been in a long time. He didn't want to admit it just yet or say the words but deep down, he knew. He'd only experienced these feelings once or twice before in his life. It wasn't supposed to happen but he couldn't think of anything else anymore. Elliot Stabler was in love. _Damn_.

On Saturday morning, the town came to life later than on weekdays, but Elliot was up and about before eight. He took a shower and shaved meticulously. He changed into clean clothes, which just meant another pair of faded jeans and another tight white t-shirt, and didn't hold back with the deodorant. He stepped out for a quick breakfast and then made his way to the book store on Main Street. Inside the bookstore, there was a modest tourist information desk where visitors could find more information about local events and other things to do in the area. Elliot wanted to buy a map so he could familiarize himself better with the area around the town. He knew his way around but he usually stayed on the main roads. He'd ventured into a rougher area with his jeep a few times, but he didn't think that could be considered a 'special' date, unless they would have a nice destination to spend some quiet time. Because that was what he wanted. Be alone with her so he could get to know her better.

Mrs. Parker, the older lady behind the desk, was only too happy to tell him some more about nice places to take a girl, and between the lines she was clearly trying to find out which girl he was going to take out. He guessed Mrs. Parker was the one to go to for all the local gossip. She was prodding him for information about what she would like to do or like to eat, if she was outgoing, what her age was and what she did for a living, but Elliot didn't give her much. She did guess he would have met her at The Saloon, and when he looked at the woman surprised, she pointed at his hat. Right. That would be a dead giveaway.

The town was situated in a beautiful landscape of hills and valleys, and some impressive rock formations as well. Mrs. Parker warned him that not all the roads were easy to drive on but he told her he had a jeep that was suitable for any terrain.

After buying the map and circling a few locations that Mrs. Parker had recommended, he left the book store to get a cup of coffee at the Tavern and study the map some more. It was a little past 10 when he hopped into his jeep to go for a drive around the area. If it was going to be special, he needed to know exactly what he was doing.

...

He called her at 2 PM and she answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Elliot?"

Was that surprise he heard in her voice or hope?

"Yeah, who else? You got more guys calling you today?"

He heard her chuckle softly.

"Maybe."

"Well, call'em off, because I'm taking you out this afternoon."

"You are?"

"Yep. Pick you up in an hour?"

"An hour?"

Now it was sheer surprise.

"Yeah, unless you have to do your laundry or something."

She was laughing now and his heart skipped a beat.

"I'm actually folding laundry right now," she admitted, "but I'm sure I'll be done within the hour."

"Great. I'll be there at three. And Liv?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't bother to dress up. Keep it casual, okay?"

"Hah. I guess you don't know me very well yet. I never dress up."

"Perfect. I'll see you in an hour then."

"Cool."

 _Cool_. Right. He had to keep his cool. He blew out a breath slowly before getting out of the car and walking into the grocery store. He'd need some supplies. She was actually coming with him without even asking where they were going or what they were going to do. He could only hope she'd like his plans.

He pulled up in front of Olivia's house at exactly 3 PM with all the supplies in the back that he would need and the map in the glove compartment. As he got out of the car to walk up to the house, the front door opened and Olivia came out. She was dressed almost just like him, in jeans, a white blouse and cowboy boots, only her blouse had buttons and long sleeves while he was just wearing a plain white t-shirt. She was holding her white hat in one hand and waved at him with her other hand as she rushed down the stairs to where he was standing.

"Hey, right on time. I like that," she said smiling, before rounding the car quickly and hopping in on the passenger side.

"Alright cowboy, let's ride."

Elliot grinned and shook his head. He hadn't even greeted her properly and she was already in the car, so he'd been all nervous for nothing. He wasn't used to being nervous and he tried to shake it off as he got back into the car and started the engine.

"Aren't you going to ask me where we're going?" he asked her as he put his jeep in drive.

"Wasn't planning to ask, as I'm sure you're dying to tell me," Olivia replied with a big smile.

She put on her hat and fastened it underneath her chin as he sped up, heading for Main Street. Elliot laughed and liked how carefree she was.

"Well, if you're not asking, I'm not telling. You'll just have to wait and see."

"Fine with me El. I trust you," she said, putting her feet up on the dashboard and clasping her hands behind her head.

...

...

 **A/N: Reviews are always appreciated (unless they don't make sense - wink). It seems that reviews aren't showing at the moment but that's usually solved quickly on FF so don't hold back.**


	7. The Date

**7\. The Date**

 _"Aren't you going to ask me where we're going?" he asked her as he put his jeep in drive._

 _"Wasn't planning to ask, as I'm sure you're dying to tell me," Olivia replied with a big smile._

 _She put on her hat and fastened it underneath her chin as he sped up, heading for Main Street. Elliot laughed. He liked how carefree she was._

 _"Well, if you're not asking, I'm not telling. You'll just have to wait and see."_

 _"Fine with me El. I trust you," she said, putting her feet up on the dashboard and clasping her hands behind her head._

Elliot shook his head. This was almost too easy. She trusted him? Up to a point, no doubt. She did say he was different from the other guys in town, so maybe she figured she'd be at least as safe with him as she was with the others. And she was right. He dared to think she was safer with him, because his intentions were honorable.  
He glanced at her again as they left town and his eyes traced her slender form, from her content face to her chest, that was mostly covered by her blouse that was fluttering in the wind. Still, he could easily make out the shape of her full breasts. His eyes drifted down to her hips and then back up her long legs, that were crossed at the ankles on his dashboard. She was tapping one boot against the other on the beat of the song that was playing on the radio and just stared at the landscape around them.

Their first stop was at least an hour away and he was curious when she'd start to wonder where they were going. They chatted about normal things, like the weather and the landscape they were driving through and Elliot tried to venture a little further into her family relations. She didn't tell him much, only that her mother had died a few years ago and that Simon's mom had taken her in since they had found out a few months earlier that her late husband was in fact Olivia's father. Elliot wondered out loud how they hadn't known before, since secrets weren't kept for long in the town. Olivia dismissed the question with a simple 'long story' and changed the subject abruptly after that. She asked about his job and what his mother thought of it.

Elliot grinned. His mother. Now _that_ was a long story.

"My mom ... she's special," Elliot said, staying as neutral as possible.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Olivia asked, scrunching up her nose.

Elliot thought it looked cute. She cocked an eyebrow when he didn't answer right away and he snapped out of it. He shouldn't stare at her anyway, he was driving. He heard her chuckle softly when he fixed his eyes on the road again.

"My mother lives in her own fairy tale world," Elliot clarified and Olivia nodded right away.

"Oh, _that_ special. I see. And she refuses medication, of course."

"Of course. You got experience with that then?"

She nodded again.

"I saw my fair share when I still volunteered at the hospital."

Elliot glanced at her, taking in this new bit of information, and noticing pain in her eyes as she mentioned the hospital.

"Mental patients I mean," Olivia clarified. "Some are really happy living in their alternate universe. I often wondered why we should pull them out."

"We don't always have to," Elliot agreed, "unless they are a danger to themselves or others. In that case, measures have to be taken."

"Was your mother a danger to herself or others?"

Elliot thought back to the car accident, all those years ago, when his mother had decided to go and chase snowflakes with him in the car. At times, Bernie really had been a danger to herself. And to him.

"I guess she's pretty harmless now," Elliot mused. "She really perked up when my dad died two years ago but she's still a bit funny."

They were silent for a while and Elliot thought again that it was pretty special that they could be silent together without any awkwardness. Despite his clear physical attraction to the brunette, there was something easy-going between them. Almost familiar. He wasn't a very poetic man but he couldn't find any other words for it: it was as if they were meant to be. He glanced at Olivia again, wondering if she felt it too. Maybe that was why she had gone along with him so easily. He was almost afraid to ask her about it, fearing she'd laugh at him and dismiss the idea. Maybe she was always this easy with men. Somehow, he didn't think so though. He knew she wasn't a saint - because saints didn't do the dirty dancing act he'd seen her perform at The Saloon - but she wasn't a slut either. No way. She was classy, in her own way. And he was proud to be the one out here with her, on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

...

After a little over an hour, he parked the car in a clearing. They had left the main road some time ago and Olivia had sat up, removing her feet from the dashboard and fastening her seatbelt when they hit more rugged terrain. His jeep was built for it though, and they had bounced on happily for about fifteen minutes before they reached the clearing.

"We continue on foot from here," Elliot announced, shutting down the engine.

Olivia was completely unfazed and hopped out of the car to stretch for a bit while Elliot took a bag and a basket from the backseat. She asked if she could carry something and he handed her the basket.

"So, Mr. Sex Crimes Detective."

Elliot was just bending to pick up the larger bag and looked up at his companion.

"What would you tell a girl who is planning to go on a trip with a man she's only known for two days, without knowing where they're going or what he has planned for her?"

He straightened his back and moved his head from left to right to stretch the muscles in his neck, buying himself some time before answering her question. Should he go serious on her or just make a joke and head out? He could see the playful smile in her eyes and he decided on both. Or neither.

"Ordinarily I would advise against it, because most men would try to take advantage of the girl. With me however, I assure you, you are quite safe. Unless you don't want to be, of course."

He winked at her, and was relieved when she laughed out loud.

"We'll see if I want to be safe from you. I haven't decided yet," she said while turning around to the trail leading away from the clearing and into the woods.

"That way?"

"Yup. It's not far at all, just a few minutes."

He'd been very pleased when he'd found this spot, thanks to Mrs. Parker at the book store. The trail led to a small lake, surrounded by trees and with a waterfall at the far end, falling from the only really high ridge along the lake. The sun was still high enough in the sky to light up the entire lake and the patch of grass that separated the trees from the lake.

He watched Olivia as she stopped walking and took in the scenery around her. She had walked up to the water and was looking out across the lake. She turned around, smiling slightly, and if he didn't know any better, he'd think he saw some shyness in her features. He set down the cooler and bag and walked up to her.

"Well, what do you think?" he asked her expectantly.

"I ... wow," she sighed. "It's so beautiful. How did you find this?"

Elliot held out his hand to take the basket from her, and she let him take it.

"I will admit I had some help," he told her. "I just wanted to find something special."

Olivia averted her eyes and he thought he saw it again. Olivia shy? Insecure? He couldn't fathom it. But he wasn't going to call her on it either.

"Coffee?" he asked her, and the insecurity left her features when she smiled.

"Please. I need it after that long ride."

Elliot pulled a soft blanket from the larger bag and they laid it out together, placing the basket on top of it. They kicked off their boots and sat down on the blanket. Elliot opened the lid of the basket and Olivia peeked inside, curious to see what he'd brought. He pulled out a large thermos and two mugs, handing her one mug and setting the other one on the blanket.

"Let me," Olivia said, wrapping her fingers around his mug so it wouldn't tip over while he filled it up.

"Hmmm, smells great," she said while he poured the coffee.

She held on to both mugs while he rummaged through the basket to find a small container. He opened the lid and showed the contents to Olivia.

"Blueberry or apple cinnamon?" Elliot asked her.

"Blueberry. Always," she replied, reaching for the muffin.

She stopped with her hand in mid-air though, and looked at him, squinting slightly.

"How did you know?"

Elliot shrugged. He couldn't believe he'd actually brought her favorite. It was just dumb luck.

"Must be my male intuition," he grinned and Olivia laughed out loud, grabbing the muffin.

They ate their muffins and drank their coffee quietly. Olivia pointed out a few butterflies to him and he flirted shamelessly with her, saying she was the most beautiful butterfly he'd ever seen.

"You do know butterflies were meant to be free, right? If you try to catch them, they get damaged and die."

Elliot frowned and looked at Olivia's profile. She wasn't looking at him but he didn't miss the seriousness in her comment. He looked out across the lake and thought about it for a minute.

"There's only one way to have a butterfly in your life."

Olivia turned her head and looked at him, clearly surprised and intrigued by his comment.

"And how is that?"

"Give her everything she'll ever need, so she'll stay with you of her own free will."

She turned her head away quickly and Elliot was tempted to sit up and turn it back towards him. Her face seemed at bit flushed to him, and the way she was hiding her eyes from him made him think he'd really struck a nerve. He thought it wise not to push her, and offered her another cup of coffee in stead. She nodded, and finished her cup quickly.

"Any more surprises in that basket of yours?" she asked, and he could tell she was trying to shake off her uneasiness.

He should help her, he decided, so he pulled out a bottle of red wine to show her.

"I brought it for later but if you need some now?" he joked, and she grinned, slapping his arm playfully.

"You're a prick," she mumbled.

Then she had an idea.

"Hey, you wanna go for a swim? I bet the water is great."

She jumped up even before he could answer her, and he stood up quickly as well.

"A swim? Listen, I brought a lot of stuff but I didn't bring my swim shorts."

"You don't need those El, come on. Just like in high school."

Elliot was confused and Olivia laughed again.

"Oh right. You probably never did that in New York. When I was in high school we'd go out to the lake after school - not this one obviously but the one down Lake Street and we'd swim in our underwear. Afterwards, we'd just put our clothes back on minus the wet underwear. It was perfect!"

...


	8. The Lake

**Well, reviews were showing again for a few days but are now down again (May 20, 2016).**

 **I did manage to approve the guest review of chapter 6 of my disgruntled (ex) reader for you all to read if you're interested. I think you'll understand that I'm genuinely surprised with their comments about my stories. I guess they are adding them all up or something? And they are clearly not up to speed with the lovers Olivia has actually had on the real show. Feel free to add your own comments after reading this chapter. They will appear once the review glitch is fixed once again.**

 **Now, back to why you're all here: Let's see what happens next on the date!**

...

 **8\. The Lake**

 _"A swim? Listen, I brought a lot of stuff but I didn't bring my swim shorts."_

 _"You don't need those El, come on. Just like in high school."_

 _Elliot was confused and Olivia laughed again._

 _"Oh right. You probably never did that in New York. When I was in high school we'd go out to the lake after school - not this one obviously but the one down Lake Street, and we'd swim in our underwear. Afterwards, we'd just put our clothes back on minus the wet underwear. It was perfect!"_

Elliot hardly had time to register what she was saying. She had taken off her hat and was already unbuttoning her jeans to pull her blouse out.

"Liv ..." he said hesitantly, but she continued unbuttoning three of her blouse buttons before pulling the garment off over her head.

Elliot's mouth fell open when he saw her scarcely clad chest and Olivia laughed again.

"You're not shy, are you?"

No. No, he wasn't. He was just shocked. And in awe of her body and the ease with which she was revealing it. Her jeans were sliding down her legs and she kicked them off. While she whipped off her black socks, Elliot finally moved, and pulled his t-shirt off as well. Olivia was already on her way to the water when he pushed his jeans off.

She was a vision. She was running to the lake in just her white bra and panties. The image of her full breasts resting comfortably in her bra was etched in his brain forever. And those legs. Her skin was tanned, her body was lean and clearly well-trained, and her legs just went on forever. She had been sending him somewhat conflicting signals but the signals his body and his heart were sending him could only be interpreted one way. This was it. _She_ was it. She was the one. He wanted her. All of her and for always.

"El! Come on!"

She was already knee-deep in the water and was waving at him.

"The water's great. Let's swim to the waterfall!"

He was finally down to his blue boxer briefs and walked towards the water with big strides. She was right. It was cool, but not cold. He waded over to her quickly but before he could say or do anything, she dove into the water. She swam a few yards under water before resurfacing, and then started swimming at a brisk pace across the lake. Elliot followed her lead and swam after her. When they arrived at the waterfall, Olivia swam under it and climbed up the rocks behind the waterfall. Elliot followed again and when they both stood on the rock behind the waterfall, he looked at her, his eyes sweeping over her beautiful body.

She smiled and turned away from him to see what was behind the waterfall. While he admired her, she admired the tiniest of flowers that were growing in between the rocks and pointed out a few holes to him where birds seemed to be nesting. He stood behind her to see where she was pointing and it struck him again how natural they were together. She turned around to face him just when a fresh breeze swept around the falling water, and he couldn't help noticing that her nipples were hard. How could any man ever help noticing? He moved closer to her and asked if she was cold. She looked down immediately and smiled playfully.

"You'd think so, huh? I'm okay though. Or do you have this uncontrollable need to warm me in those big strong arms of yours?"

It was almost unsettling how easily she said things like that to him. Almost. But he got a grip quickly and wrapped his arms around her, one around her waist and the other around her shoulders, pulling her close. Their wet stomachs were touching and something inside him fluttered. He looked into Olivia's big brown eyes, and leaned in to give her a soft kiss on the lips. He was relieved that he wasn't becoming an awkward teenager now that he realized he was falling for Olivia.

"You make it really hard not to touch you, Ms. Benson," he said softly near her ear and he could have sworn she shivered a bit at his words. Or because of the chill around them, behind the waterfall in the shade. That could be the reason too, of course. She was leaning into him, holding him loosely and not making any attempts to move away from him. When she didn't say anything, Elliot leaned in again and kissed her more firmly, moving his arm from her waist down to her perfect ass. She moaned softly then, opening her mouth slightly and Elliot ran his tongue along her upper lip, testing the waters a little. She sighed and smiled against his lips.

"What Liv?" he asked softly, smiling as well and moving back a bit to look into her eyes again.

"Nothing," she said quickly but he wasn't buying it.

"No no. You smiled about something, so spill."

She moved away from him now, putting both hands on his bare chest and rubbing his pecs gently.

"I just thought you're much softer than you look," she admitted, and he saw a glimmer in her eyes that made him laugh.

"Okay, I'm busted. I'm really a softy but please don't tell anyone, okay?" he joked.

Olivia laughed as well, and turned away from him, ducking her head while she stepped into the water again, and under the waterfall.

"Let's get back in the sun and dry up," she said before diving into the water and swimming back across the lake.

He followed her back and they settled on their backs on the soft blanket in the sun, still in their underwear. Elliot didn't bring any towels but the sun was hot enough to dry them quickly. Olivia pushed her wet hair out of her face and Elliot looked at her content face again. He noticed an irregularity in her hairline and reached up to touch it. Olivia turned her head away quickly.

"Don't," she said and somehow, he knew it was something important to her, whatever it was.

"What is that Liv?" he asked. "Is it a scar?"

She nodded.

"Yeah. Car accident a while back."

"Wow. What happened?"

Olivia closed her eyes and made a dismissing gesture with her hand.

"Doesn't matter. Forget about it."

Now he was certain it did matter. He heard the tension in her voice. He decided not to press the matter but stored the new bits of information away for future use.

After a while, Elliot suggested they pack up before the sun would disappear behind the trees.

"We have another stop to make," he told her, and he could tell she was surprised.

She didn't comment however, she just sat up and turned her back to him before unclasping her bra and tossing it aside. Elliot swallowed hard, staring at her bare back. She was leaning to the side to pick up her blouse and he couldn't help staring at the side of her left breast that came into view. She looked at him over her shoulder and grinned.

"Panties have dried but those things just stay wet," she said by way of explanation, nodding in the direction of her partly padded bra.

He put his t-shirt and socks on as well, trying not to look at her while she buttoned up her blouse and put her socks and jeans back on. He debated for a moment whether or not to keep his boxer briefs on. They weren't completely dry but not soaked anymore either.

"Better take those off or you'll get a rash," Olivia said, walking up to him and pointing at his briefs, "right there."

She moved one finger along the fold between his right thigh and his package and there was no way to hide his physical reaction to her touch. It wasn't huge but it was visible and immediate. Olivia just smiled and put a hand on his chest.

"Relax. I won't look," she said, but the look in her eyes implied she would want to.

"It's okay," Elliot said, sounding like his confident self again, "I have nothing to hide from you."

Without hesitation he pulled his boxer briefs down and kicked them off his feet. He took his time getting his jeans and watched for Olivia's reaction from the corner of his eye. He knew full well she hadn't turned away. He put his jeans on and buttoned them up slowly, glancing at her while he did it. She was just staring at him, her arms folded in front of her chest. Was that a hint of desire in her eyes or was he imagining things?

They gathered all their things and made their way back to the jeep. It was a fifteen minute drive and Elliot wanted to reach their next stop in time. So far, things had gone perfectly.

When they stopped again, Olivia looked at him.

"What is this place?" she asked. "There's nothing here."

They had stopped in another clearing, but there were no trees around, just rocks.

"It's up there," Elliot said, pointing behind Olivia at a ridge about 30 feet above them.

"How on earth are we going to get up there?" she asked, peering up while holding her hat.

Elliot walked up to her and put his arm around her waist.

"Just follow me," he said softly near her ear, and when she giggled, his heart turned to mush.

They got the bag and the basket from the backseat again, and Elliot also pulled a cooler from behind his seat. It had been plugged into the cigarette lighter so the contents should still be nice and cool. Olivia carried the basket again and followed him as he led her to a narrow trail around the rocky wall. When they reached the other side, the trail went up. It was pretty steep but they managed to walk up quickly.

"Oh wow," Olivia sighed when they reached the top.

The ridge they had seen from the clearing was just the outer edge of a flat surface on top of the rocks, with a wonderful view of the valley in front of them. There was no vegetation on the platform, just sand, and a pile of wood and some small rocks that Elliot had collected earlier that morning when he'd come out here to find the perfect spot to watch the sun set with Olivia. And this was it. It was perfect. The rocks sloped up behind them, but the view was completely clear in front of them. The platform, that was about 20 feet wide and 15 feet long, was still basking in sunlight but the sun was beginning to move towards the horizon, so it would get cooler soon.

"Let's lay out the blanket so we can get the fireplace ready before the sun sets," Elliot said, and Olivia smiled and nodded.

"Okay."

Her voice had sounded soft, as if she was impressed. Yeah, he could be pretty romantic when he wanted to be. He watched her as they arranged the blanket and set the basket, the bag and cooler behind it, away from where they'd make the fire. Elliot started arranging the hand-sized rocks, making a small circle, and Olivia sat next to him on her knees, handing him the cut up branches as he piled them up, leaving an opening in his tent-like pile, so he could push a wadded up page from his newspaper underneath to start the fire.

"There. We're not starting it just yet or the smoke and the light will spoil the view," Elliot said with a smile.

Olivia just smiled as well, and they sat down on the blanket again. Elliot set a bowl between them and emptied a bag of potato chips in it. Then he pulled two beers from the cooler and they drank quietly.

"This really is a perfect spot," Olivia said after a minute. "You can see for miles from here, and it still doesn't feel like we're completely in the open."

"I know. That's why I wanted to bring you here," Elliot said, looking at her profile, that was glowing in the orange light of the sun.

Olivia looked at him and tilted her head.

"Have you ever taken other girls up here Elliot?" she asked him.

"No, never," he replied quickly. He didn't want her to think this was his regular make-out spot. "I've never been here with anyone before."

She seemed to be content with his answer, and looked back out at the sunset. He did as well and they were silent as the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon, coloring the sky in beautiful red and purple shades on its way down.

...

 **Leave a review? Thanks!**


	9. Fire

**Oops. I forgot to announce a change in rating for this story. So here is your warning: the rating of this story is going up to M. You have now been warned. Enjoy!**

...

 **9\. Fire**

"We should start the fire now, before it gets cold," Elliot said after a few minutes. "Unless you want to head back, of course."

He was suddenly hit with a wave of insecurity. Why would she want to stay up here with him after dark? The main attraction, the sun, had already left.

"Head back?"

Her genuine surprise put his mind at ease immediately.

"We just got here."

"Alright then," Elliot said, getting up to crawl over to their little fireplace. He stuffed some newspaper in the pile of branches and struck a match.

"You have thought of everything," Olivia remarked, picking up the box of matches he'd tossed in the sand.

"Hey, I was a Marine, remember?" Elliot grinned. "Trained to survive. We must always be prepared."

They took off their hats and spent some time making sure the fire wouldn't go out, and Olivia laughed at the stories he was telling her about his adventures in the Marines, when they were out training. Once the fire was strong and they'd added some larger logs, Elliot opened the cooler again to take out a pack of sausages.

"What's that?" Olivia asked.

"Dinner," he replied. "Check the basket for some buns and sauce. Plates and a knife too. And there's a bowl of salad in the cooler. We're going to make our own sausage sandwiches."

They got to work and while Elliot held the sausages over the fire on a skewer, Olivia cut the buns in half and put the sauce and salad on. When she was finished, she poured herself a glass of wine. When Elliot saw her shiver a few times, he asked her to hold the skewer for him, while he went to get something from the bag. He pulled out two red and black checkered flannel shirts and stood behind Olivia to help her into one.

Olivia thanked him as she pulled the soft fabric around her body, not bothering to button the shirt up, and when he sat back down she asked him if he wasn't putting the other shirt on. He told her he was good for now, but she smirked.

"You know how good you look in that tight shirt of yours, huh? You're just showing off you body."

He laughed out loud and shook his head. This woman was just perfect, saying exactly what she was thinking. They ate their dinner, chatting about work, family and friends. Elliot told her about his two best friends, Robert and Declan. Olivia told him she'd been friends with Nick and Kathy since kindergarten. After a while, Olivia asked him what he was going to do once he got back to work on Monday. He didn't really want to think about that yet but answered her anyway.

"Well, I'm hoping the guys closed the last case I was working on before I got here. If not, I'll be picking that up again. And there will be new ones, no doubt. The perverts never sleep in New York."

"What was your case about?" Olivia asked.

Elliot hesitated. He didn't really want to expose her to the world he had to live in because of the job. And cases with kids always hit him hard for some reason. Something about pure innocence being obliterated. He would never get used to it.

"El?"

He looked at the beauty sitting next to him in the glow of the fire.

"You don't really want to know Liv," he sighed. "It's a world full of sickos out there."

"There are sickos everywhere El. You can't hide from the world. Not even out here."

Her tone was serious again and he couldn't help wondering what she'd been through to make her suddenly seem so sad.

"So tell me. What was the case about?"

She really wanted to know?

"We were after a child molester. He'd raped at least 3 girls, probably more. They were only six and seven years old. We think it was their pediatrician or one of his assistants. Well, someone at the doctor's office anyway."

It was sickening and he shook his head, grabbing his beer to take another gulp. He looked at Olivia again, and she seemed to be miles away. Was she thinking about what he'd told her about the case?

"Liv?"

She blinked twice and looked at him.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking about those kids."

She smiled then and moved the remains of their food aside so she could scoot closer to him.

"Are you still cold?" Elliot asked her, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her into him.

"No, I'm fine," she said softly.

She looked above them and pointed up.

"Look, the stars are appearing."

Without even discussing it, they started clearing the blanket quickly, so they could lie on their backs to look at the sky. Elliot made sure Olivia was closest to the fire, so she wouldn't get cold. They pointed out stars as they started appearing, and soon the entire sky was littered with them. Elliot looked at Olivia's face as she gazed up, trying to find the constellations she knew, and just watched her facial expressions change. She was enchanting and he could look at her like this all night. He propped himself up on one elbow to look into her eyes, and when she smiled and reached up to put her hand behind his head, he felt like he was freefalling into those beautiful brown eyes of hers. He leaned in to kiss her and fell even deeper when she opened her mouth immediately to grant him access.

He moaned as their kiss deepened and Olivia pulled him closer. He moved one leg between hers and put his free hand on her waist, wishing he could get even closer to her without making her think he was just out for sex. Their tongues were tangling and Olivia moaned as well. Elliot moved his hand up over her blouse and as soon as he found her breast, he remembered she wasn't wearing her bra. Hot flashes shot through his body as he squeezed her breast softly and Olivia moaned again.  
He broke off the kiss to look into her eyes.

"What?" she asked him. "Is something wrong?"

"No," he said softly, looking down at his hand on her soft breast. He moved his hand back down to her waist and looked into her eyes.

"I just ... I don't want you to think I just brought you here to ..."

"Shhhhh," Olivia shushed him, putting two fingers on his lips. "It's okay."

Her eyes were shining as she looked up at him and he was mesmerized.

"Maybe I came along with you today because _I_ want to," she said softly. "Like you said, no strings or empty promises, remember?"

Elliot groaned. He wanted to treat her with respect and he regretted ever using that line on her. But how could he refuse her now? His breath hitched when she started unbuttoning her blouse from bottom to top and as soon as her toned stomach was revealed to him, his body took over from his mind. He sat up, whipped his t-shirt off, and leaned over Olivia again, his hand on her warm stomach and his mouth on hers. She had just finished unbuttoning her blouse and wrapped her arms around his shoulders to pull him down, his chest connecting with her soft breasts.

Elliot moaned and deepened their kiss as his hand drifted up between their bodies to cup her bare breast. Olivia gasped, breaking off the kiss briefly, but she latched on to his lower lip again immediately, pushing her hips against his leg, that was resting between hers again. Elliot shifted when his body responded fiercely to her touch and her kisses, and Olivia used the opportunity to slide one hand down his body until she reached the bulge in his pants.

He broke off the kiss again to look into her eyes, but when she continued rubbing him through his jeans, his eyes slipped closed again. His hand found her other breast and he dropped his forehead to her shoulder. His body felt like it was catching fire and Olivia didn't show any signs of hesitation. She wanted him, right now, right there. And he wanted her. He lifted his head and moved lower until he could kiss her breasts. He showered both soft mounds with attention, using his lips, his tongue and his teeth, until Olivia was panting and bucking her hips up against his body again. Her nipples were hard and he just couldn't get enough of them.

"Off," Olivia sighed, and his head snapped up.

She was smiling and tugged on his jeans.

"Take'em off," she repeated.

He moved up and moved his mouth close to her ear before saying softly,

"You first."

He thought Olivia shivered when he said it. She moved both hands down to unbutton her jeans, and Elliot sat up to help her slide them down her legs. He sat up on his knees next to her then, and started undoing his jeans.

"Let me," Olivia said.

She sat up and reached for him. He had to consciously tell himself not to grab her breasts again. They were glowing in the light of the fire. She was still wearing her blouse and his big flannel shirt, but they both hung open and didn't block his view in any way.

Olivia unbuttoned his jeans, and the proof of his arousal came into view immediately, not restricted by any underwear since he wasn't wearing his boxer briefs anymore. Olivia tugged his jeans down to his knees and smiled up at him, her mouth close to his bobbing tip. Elliot sat back on his heels quickly, not quite ready to have her mouth on him, and leaned in to capture her lips with his again. Olivia put her hands on his cheeks and sat up on her knees, pulling him up with her without breaking the kiss, and Elliot groaned when his erection pressed into her belly. Her hands slid down his back to cup his ass and he had to break off their intimate kiss once again to catch his breath.

He kissed her neck while his arms slipped around her waist and then down, until he could hook his thumbs inside her panties. He tugged them down to her knees. He could hear her breathing near his ear and it was ragged. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and guided her down carefully, until she was lying on her back on the blanket. He removed her panties from her legs then, and kicked off his jeans before settling on the blanket next to her. He was now completely naked aside from his socks but he didn't feel cold. All his senses were focused on Olivia, who was looking at him expectantly. She reached up to cup his cheek with her hand and asked him,

"Did you bring anything?"

"Of course," he replied quickly, and he reached behind him to pull the bag closer to them.

As soon as he showed her the condom, Olivia snatched it out of his hand with a grin.

"Allow me."

Elliot swallowed hard. He had some experience with women taking the lead, but somehow, Olivia made him a little nervous. She pushed him down on his back and straddled his thighs, opening herself up to him without any inhibition. He was in awe and couldn't help drinking her in with his eyes while she tore the condom wrapper open with her mouth and started rolling it off half an inch. His body jolted when she grabbed him and his eyes flicked up to hers and then back down to his throbbing member in her hand. She started pumping him, making sure he was hard enough before putting the condom on. He reached for her thighs and sighed when he couldn't really get a hold of her. Olivia smiled and he looked at his manhood again. There was some wetness on his tip already and she ran her thumb over it to smooth it out before placing the condom over it.

"Ah Liv," Elliot groaned, "you're killing me here."

He used his hand to steady himself so she could roll the condom down. His breath hitched when she leaned in to kiss his tip softly and then kissed her way down his shaft as she rolled it down further. He was still holding his breath when Olivia sat up again and she smiled almost triumphantly at him.

"All set," she said softly, and she leaned over him until her body was resting on top of his.

Elliot pulled her tight against his chest and kissed her passionately again, and they both moaned when Olivia shifted so his erection was pressing into her hot center. He didn't want to rush things though, and rolled them over on their sides. Olivia looked at him as he moved away from her to admire her naked form in the glow of the fire. He rolled her on her back and slipped his hand between her legs. Olivia let out a breathy 'ah' and he smiled at her, moving his hand up until he found her wetness. And wet she was. She spread her legs a little and his fingers found her entrance. He rubbed her until his fingers were covered in her fluids, then he moved them up until he found her little nub of pleasure. Olivia was breathing heavily and was caressing his chest. Her eyes were fixed on his face and he looked into her brown eyes as he played with her clit, pinching it gently between his thumb and his forefinger before drawing small circles over and around it quickly.

He'd been complimented on his techniques before but nothing compared to the reaction on Olivia's face to what he was doing. Her mouth hung open and her eyes fluttered closed as she arched her back, letting out a long, low moan. He was getting even harder at the sight and the sound but he still didn't want to rush her. He scooted down her body and she watched him intently as he sat up to position himself between her legs. He wanted to taste her and feel her writhe beneath him. He wanted everything with her.

He parted and lifted her legs until he could push his shoulders under her thighs. Olivia was panting in anticipation and her eyes were still fixed on his face, until he dipped down to place his mouth over her mound. Olivia dropped her head back on the blanket and let out an exited yelp.

"Oh God, Elliot," she sighed.

His name on her lips propelled him into action and he pushed his tongue into her entrance without warning. Olivia moaned and he repeated the motion, reveling in her unique taste. He moved his mouth up then, licking his way up slowly until he found her clit. He swirled his tongue around it a few times and then placed his mouth over it and sucked.

Olivia let out a strangled sound. She started throwing her head from side to side, and tried to grab his head with her hands. He withdrew though, enjoying having the power for a moment, and she whispered 'no' as she lifted her head to look at him again.

"No?" he asked, a cocky grin on his face.

She giggled then, and his stomach flipped.

"Don't stop," she said, clearly reluctant to give him the satisfaction, but her physical need winning out over her pride.

She moaned loudly when he placed his mouth over her again, and he sucked her until she was practically screaming. Now he had her where he wanted her and he sat up, putting her legs down and moving forward quickly. Before Olivia realized what he was doing, he latched on to her neck and pushed into her. Not too fast but not too slow either. Olivia breathed in sharply, and wrapped her arms around his waist, digging her nails in his back as she tilted her hips to meet him. He eased his way into her, further and further until their hips connected. He was in heaven and he never wanted to leave. Tasting and sucking her had brought him to the brink already and he stilled inside her to get a grip, before he'd be able to continue.

He placed his hands next to Olivia's head and leaned on his outstretched arms, looking down at her.

"Okay?" he asked her and Olivia nodded.

"Yeah. Just move El."

He grinned and pulled back a little and pushed back into her, never breaking eye contact with her. She breathed out quickly, a small smile on her lips and he did it again.

"Like that?" he asked her and she laughed softly.

"You want me to cheer you on or beg? Just do it Elliot."

He moved again, pushing deeper into her and she gasped then. Before she could respond, he started moving with long, slow strokes, rocking into her while still not breaking eye contact. Olivia closed her eyes and arched her back, pulling her knees up to spread her legs wider for him. Her hands were raking down his back until she grabbed his ass to pull him into her even deeper.

Elliot grunted as they picked up the pace. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open. Her breasts were bouncing as he pounded into her and she was giving back as much as he was giving her. Her body was gripping him and he thrust faster and harder, feeling the pressure build in his body. He was getting close already and his body was pumping. He couldn't keep his eyes off the beautiful woman beneath him and he could tell she was getting close as well. He rocked into her while bending his arms, hitting her at a different angle, making an upward movement as he continued rocking into her. He knew the feminine body well and knew she'd need the pressure on her clit. She responded with a low moan that became higher when he trust into her again, hard.

They grunted and moaned together as they moved even faster, and Elliot dropped to his elbows. He could feel her nipples scraping his chest and he knew this was it.

"Liv ..."

"Yeah ..."

"Oh God!"

"Yeah!"

Olivia lifted her head and bit down on his shoulder. It was delicious pain and Elliot let go with a scream, shooting deep inside her as his orgasm tore through him. Olivia shuddered beneath him and muffled her scream by keeping her mouth on his shoulder as she shattered around him. She was shaking and Elliot tried to keep his weight off her, but he was completely spent and dropped his head to her shoulder. When she finally relaxed beneath him, he rolled them over until they were on their sides. He held her trembling body close to his, trying to maintain as much skin contact as possible. He never wanted to let her go.

...

...

 **A/N: Who expected that to happen?**


	10. Goodbye

**10\. Goodbye**

 _He never wanted to let her go._

Olivia was looking into his eyes as she stroked his cheek with her hand. She seemed content and she was smiling. But somehow, he also felt some sadness. He didn't see it, he only felt it. Thinking about how he would be leaving the next day made him sad as well. She was still looking into his eyes, as if she was trying to read his thoughts. It was as if she could see right through him. He'd had that feeling before and he wanted to say something meaningful to her. But he was at a loss for words. So he decided to tell her just that.

"Liv, I don't know what to say."

She smiled and inched closer to him to kiss him softly.

"Neither do I."

 _I love you._

The words hit him hard. Because those were the words he wanted to say. But how could he? They'd only known each other for three days. He hardly knew anything about her but deep down, he knew he loved her already anyway.

Olivia moved to sit up and that forced him to focus on her and on where they were.

"We should get dressed," he said quickly before she could say it. He sat up as well and reached for her clothes. He handed them to her and got up to move away from her a bit to get rid of his condom.

They both got dressed quickly and Elliot put his flannel shirt on too. The temperature had dropped considerably now that it was completely dark. He gathered their things and put everything back in the basket before turning towards Olivia. She was sitting on the blanket, staring into the flames of their little fire. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded, not looking at him.

"Yeah."

She looked at him then and forced a smile.

"What time do you leave tomorrow?"

He sighed. He didn't want to think about leaving just yet. He pulled her closer and kissed her temple.

"I was planning to leave around ten tomorrow morning. Should be home before dinner."

Olivia nodded again and returned her gaze to the flames. Elliot moved behind her so she was sitting between his legs, and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She relaxed against him, leaning her head against his cheek, and they sat like that for a while, staring into the flames.

"I hope they got your pedophile," Olivia said after a while.

He smiled. She hadn't forgotten about his case.

"So do I. Listen, you wanna head back to town? The drive back takes at least an hour so maybe we should go back."

Olivia nodded and moved to stand up, and he jumped up too. They started extinguishing the fire with sand when Olivia suddenly grabbed his arm.

"It's so dark. How do we get down from here?"

"Fear not, fair lady. I come prepared," he said solemnly. He walked over to the bag and pulled out a flashlight.

"My hero," Olivia sighed and they both laughed.

They finished putting out the fire and carried their things back down, Elliot leading the way with his flashlight. They pulled the roof of the jeep up and Elliot steered them away from the rocky clearing carefully. Olivia turned up the volume of the radio a bit and they drove back to town in silence. Despite what they had done, the silence still wasn't awkward. Just a little sad. They sang along softly with a few songs they both knew and smiled at each other from time to time. Elliot's mind kept drifting back to her beautiful body and how he'd made love to her. Because that's what it had been for him. He didn't know what to expect after this night but he knew he would never, ever forget it.

When the town came into view, Elliot put his hand on Olivia's thigh. He didn't quite know how to tell her he'd miss her terribly and that he really didn't want to leave. What if she'd meant it, that it had just been casual, no strings and no empty promises? Those had been his words, but that had been when he'd first seen her. Things had changed since then and he knew he'd never be the same. He couldn't just walk away. Not this time. But she didn't know that and he couldn't imagine she might feel the same way. How could she, after just three days? No strings and no empty promises. Those had been _her_ words, right before they had sex together. He had no right to expect more from her. So he said nothing. Olivia put her hand over his and played with his fingers as they drove into town.

"I had a great day today Elliot. Thank you," she said softly.

He smiled at her and squeezed her thigh.

"I had a great time with you too."

He glanced at her, unsure what her plans for the night would be and if they would include him.

"You want me to take you home?" he asked when they reached Main Street.

Olivia looked straight ahead and took a deep breath. He wondered if she would be going out tonight, to The Saloon. It wasn't midnight yet and it was Saturday night so she might very well be meeting up with Kathy later. And Nick. He still wasn't sure what to make of the young Latino that was always hanging around Olivia. He looked at her when she squeezed his hand and then she said,

"Let's go to your room."

He honestly thought his heart stopped. She wanted to come with him to his motel room? Yes, yes, yes! He tried not to sound too eager but there was no hiding his excitement. He almost choked on his words when he asked her,

"Are you sure?"

She smiled shyly and nodded, looking him straight in the eye.

"Yeah."

He blew out a breath slowly. His stomach was doing back flips and he had to put both hands on the steering wheel and focus on driving, or he might run into a lamp post. Slick Stabler was nowhere to be found. This was lovesick Stabler. He hit the gas and Olivia laughed when he leaned over the steering wheel, as if willing the car to go even faster. He was good at joking around. Joking always provided a great cover for real emotions. And as a bonus, he could hear her laugh again. He loved to hear her laugh. The sadness that had hung in the car had evaporated for the moment, and they were still laughing softly when they made their way up to his room.

Elliot tossed the bag in a corner and stashed the cooler and the basket under the bed before turning around to Olivia. She didn't waste any time and walked up to him, pushing him in the chest until he dropped on the bed backwards. She let herself fall on top of him and started kissing him immediately. Elliot didn't need any more encouragement. Their clothes flew off and as soon as they were both completely naked, Olivia pushed him onto his back again and straddled him. They hadn't even switched on the lights and the room was only illuminated by the glow of the neon lights on Main Street filtering in through the window. Elliot's eyes swept over Olivia's perfect body and his hands cupped her full breasts. He squeezed them gently and looked at her face. She looked at him and let her hands roam his chest, leaning forward slowly until she could kiss his lips.

Elliot pulled her down on top of him and grunted when she knocked his rock-hard erection with her hip. He needed another condom fast. He reached for his nightstand and Olivia slid next to him on the bed to give him room to put the condom on. She started kissing his chest, blocking his view with her head, and Elliot let his head rest on the pillow for a moment, reveling in the touch of her lips on his body. She licked his nipple slowly and he grunted. He really had to get that rubber on so he could get in on the action.

"Liv," he warned, "do you want me to put it on or not?"

She lifted her head to look at him and he saw a mix of emotions in her eyes. He didn't dare think that this was actually more than just a hookup for her, but it wasn't just lust he was seeing. He wasn't sure what it was though.

"Yes," she said finally. "I'll get out of your way."

There was a small smile on her lips when she sat up, arching her back a little so he had a mouthwatering view of her chest. Elliot got ready quickly and sat up as well to wrap his arms around the beauty in his bed.

"Come here you," he gruffed and Olivia giggled when he attacked her neck as he pushed her down on her back.

He moved over her until he was on top of her, between her legs, but Olivia had other plans. She kissed him deeply but then broke off the kiss to flip them over until she was straddling his stomach. Elliot wasn't going to object and took the opportunity to sit up and suck her breasts. Olivia leaned forward until she was leaning on her arms and arched her back again, giving him better access as she was pushing her hot center into his stomach. She was making soft sounds of excitement that made him even harder, and his manhood twitched in anticipation. He didn't know if he should be disappointed or relieved when she scooted backwards after a while. He had to let go of her perfect breasts but now she was hovering over him, ready to take him in. He was so ready to slide into her again and grabbed her hips to guide her into position.

Olivia closed her eyes and licked her lips as she started to descend over him slowly. Elliot felt himself get even harder as he saw himself enter her. He tilted his hips and Olivia spread her knees even further, until he was buried completely inside her. They started moving together and Elliot felt the pressure build up in his body fast. He held on to her hips as he bucked up faster, and Olivia leaned back slightly to find a new angle, leaning her palms behind her on his muscular thighs while continuing to bounce up and down. Elliot moved one hand to her front, finding her clit with his thumb. Olivia started making high-pitched sounds each time she exhaled, and as he continued thrusting into her and rubbing her simultaneously, he could feel her body contracting around him. She had to be very close and he continued rubbing and pinching her at high speed. He wanted to see her come. It was becoming a need that was greater than his own need for release. Olivia threw her head back and tried to say something but all he could make out was 'El ... El ...' and then she gasped. Her body was convulsing and she let herself drop forward on his chest as her orgasm washed over her.

Elliot wasn't done yet and flipped them over quickly. He slipped out of her and draped himself over Olivia's trembling body. He kissed her deeply, languidly, until she moaned. He looked down at her flushed face and waited for her to open her eyes. When she did, he pushed back into her, making her gasp. She spread her legs for him and he latched on to her left breast as he started pounding into her again. It wouldn't take long and when she started moving with him again, he knew he was going to go over the edge very soon. He let go of her sensitive nipple and pushed himself up on his arms so he could go even deeper. He was grunting and panting loudly and Olivia joined in, scraping her fingernails up his back and down his arms until she grabbed his biceps.

"Liv! Oh!" he shouted and she answered him,

"Go baby!"

He plunged deep inside he one more time and stilled for a second before releasing all he had, feeling like his insides were exploding with pleasure. He continued moving until the waves of his orgasm subsided and Olivia gasped again as he felt her contract around him once more. He slumped over her, burying his face in the crook of her neck and then rolled them both to the side. He held on to her, stroking her back as they caught their breaths.

They hadn't even turned down the bed and once they had calmed down a bit, Elliot slipped out of Olivia and asked her to sit up. He pulled the blanket and sheet from under her and put them over her and then retreated into the bathroom quickly to clean himself up. When he returned, Olivia was lying comfortably in his bed. He joined her and wrapped her in his arms. She kissed him softly and closed her eyes as she put her head on his shoulder. Elliot had never felt as peaceful as he did right now, and within a few minutes he drifted off and fell asleep.

...

When Elliot woke up the next morning, Olivia was gone. He sat up and looked around for any sign that she'd actually been there. Then he spotted the note on her pillow.

 _"Thanks again for everything Elliot. Have a safe trip. O."_

He checked his watch and saw it was 8.30. He couldn't believe he'd slept this long and that he hadn't noticed Olivia leaving. And if he wanted to be on the road by ten, he'd have to start packing and go out to get some breakfast. He went through all the moves on autopilot. All he could think about was Olivia and his night with her. He wondered if she was going to come and say goodbye, but her note told him she wouldn't. When he walked past the doorman's booth and was greeted by Simon, he realized that Olivia had probably left before her brother's shift started. After breakfast, when he was putting his bags in the back of the jeep, he kept looking around, hoping to see her. She wasn't there and at 10.15 he finally decided to leave. He needed to get home, but leaving had never been as difficult as this time. He felt like he was leaving part of himself behind.

He drove away slowly, waving at a few familiar faces on Main Street. Just before he turned away from Main Street he saw a woman wearing a white cowboy hat. She was leaning against a store underneath a canopy, her arms crossed in front of her chest. _It was her_. It had to be. His hand shot up high and he was waving. He saw a hand going up hesitantly. It _was_ her. He understood. If she had felt anything of what he'd felt those three days, she wouldn't know how to say goodbye. He didn't know either. How could he ever say goodbye to her? Elliot sighed as he left the town behind him. He had to leave but he would be back. He would definitely be back.

...

...

 **A/N: And now what? Any ideas? Let me know if you're still enjoying the story.**


	11. Incomplete

**11\. Incomplete**

It was strange to be back at work. Elliot felt like he'd been gone a month in stead of just four days. Everything was the same in the squad room, yet everything was different for him. Maybe it was the weather too. After the hot weeks they'd had, it had finally started raining a little. His co-workers had had an ordinary weekend. John Munch and Monique Jeffries had been on call and had wrapped up their pedophile case, while Fin Tutuola had visited some family in another state. Elliot couldn't really remember who or where until his partner started giving him the details of all his nephews and nieces in Ohio. Right. A family reunion on his father's side. Elliot could never remember all the names. His family wasn't nearly as big as Fin's. It was just him, his sister Maureen and their mother now. His sister had started dating girls so he expected it would be just the three or four of them for quite a while yet.

His mind drifted to Olivia again and he remembered how good she'd been with little Nina at the diner. She'd make a great mother one day. He couldn't get her out of his mind, even if he tried, and Fin was beginning to notice.

"Hey, Stabler! You with me pal?" his partner said, snapping his fingers in Elliot's face.

Elliot blinked a few times and nodded. He hadn't even noticed that Fin had walked up to him.

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I'm just a bit tired."

"Tired! Man, you musta had a hot weekend then."

Elliot grinned, unsure of how much he was going to share with his partner about his weekend. Fin sat back down at his desk and looked at him expectantly.

"So spill man. Found any more mysterious brown-eyes girls this time?"

He sure had and Fin could see it in his face.

"Alright, alright. Gimme names and measurements."

"No no no, I'm not gonna to talk about her," Elliot said quickly.

He didn't want his co-workers to start teasing him with his latest conquest, as they would no doubt call her. And Olivia was too special to be called a conquest.

" _Her_ huh? So it's one girl."

Fin wanted to ask more but just then, Captain Cragen walked up to them, announcing they had a new case. For once, Elliot was glad, although the case would probably make him cringe. It was an attempted rape this time. The woman had fought back hard but was very shaken up, and they had to interview her at the hospital while CSU took care of the alley where the attack had taken place.

...

Two weeks went by. Elliot had hoped that he would gradually be able to focus on other things again, but he still found his mind drifting off regularly. He hadn't gone out at all, and had spent his weekends doing laundry, cleaning his apartment and washing his jeep. He did his job, but Fin was beginning to worry about him. Elliot would zone out completely during stakeouts and behind his desk. Cragen even made a remark after a week, asking Elliot if everything was alright with his mother, because he'd been so distracted. Elliot assured him that his mother was just fine, and promised Cragen to give her his best when he saw her again that weekend. It was Maureen's 26th birthday so they would all go up to Long Beach for a party at Bernadette's house.

On Friday afternoon, Elliot was sitting at his desk, finishing his reports for the week. Fin was on the phone with someone at CSU and Elliot looked at his watch. He'd sent his friend Robert a text earlier, hoping they could meet up after work. He'd met Robert Dumas when they were both rookies and they had stayed in touch ever since. If there was anyone he could talk to about Olivia, it was Robert. His best friend would never make fun of him and by now, he did need to talk to someone.

He had wanted to find more information about Olivia but there hadn't been time to look her up in the databases he had at his disposal at work. He knew those weren't meant for personal use but he was itching to find out more about her. He didn't know how to do some searches without making his partner suspicious though. Fin was unusually curious this time about who he'd met and what she was like, saying that his eyes glazed over every time he asked about her. He smiled and thought about Olivia again, about how she'd stripped down to her underwear and had gone for a swim without a second thought. And how she had pulled him in for a kiss by the fire and had made it very clear to him that she wanted him that night. Twice. It had been all her and he was amazed. Somehow he knew she wouldn't do that with just anyone. He could only wonder why she'd decided to go all out with him. Maybe it was because he was only going to be in town for a few days. Maybe she really didn't want anything serious right now.

He could hardly bear to think that way because it had meant something to him. In fact, it had meant a lot more to him than any hookup he'd ever had before meeting Olivia. He finally felt like himself again. He wasn't really a casual kind of man, or at least he never wanted to be. When it seemed that casual sex was going to be the only way to get some, he'd played along. He was a healthy young man after all, and he did have needs. But it wasn't the life he really wanted, even if he'd always said he was fine on his own. He had just about given up on love and he certainly didn't believe in love at first sight. Until now.

"Man, you're in deep this time."

Fin's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, again, and he looked up at his partner.

"I've been tryin' to tell you what CSU found for the last five minutes El, but you're zoned out completely."

Elliot closed the file on his desk and sighed.

"Sorry Fin. It's been a long day."

"Right," Fin scoffed but he didn't ask any more questions.

His partner wasn't usually one to pry and he knew when to back off. When Robert came into the squad room, Fin stood up and put a hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"Here's your pal. I hope he can talk some sense into you. See ya Monday, El."

...

Robert listened. There wasn't anyone who knew him better than Robert, and maybe his Marine buddy Declan. Declan Murphy had stayed in the Marines and had climbed the ranks. He was overseas again so Robert was the one Elliot talked to the most these days. And he listened. Elliot knew he was rambling a bit but he just couldn't get over how incredible this girl was and how she had affected him.

"So you actually told her it would just be casual?"

Elliot bobbed his head, staring at the label on his beer bottle.

"And she hung out with you for three days before you got laid."

"Don't call it that," Elliot shot back and Robert's eyebrows shot up.

"Wow man. You're really in love."

Elliot sighed and looked up, looking for a waiter in the bar where they usually went after work when one of them needed to talk. He saw the man and raised his hand. The waiter just nodded and they knew he would be right there with two new beers.

"I don't know Rob," Elliot sighed. "There's just something about her. I feel like ... like she's ... what's been missing from my life. Does that sound corny at all?"

He knew it did. It sounded corny even to him, but it was what he was feeling. He had felt incomplete ever since he had left the town that Sunday morning, almost two weeks ago. Rob just nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds corny but I know the feeling. It's what I feel with Pippa. I'll admit I didn't know it after just a few days, but I do know what it feels like to be lost without my other half. If that's what you're feeling about Olivia, you gotta do something about it El."

Elliot pursed his lips. He did feel lost in a way. He just couldn't get her out of his mind. Their new beers arrived and they sat and drank in silence for a while. Then Robert asked him,

"What do you know about her so far?"

"Not much," Elliot admitted. "Her parents are dead, she lives with her half-brother and his mother, she works at a diner and used to volunteer at the local hospital, but she doesn't do that anymore. She babysits her neighbor's three-year old and she loves country music, dancing, lemon ice cream, Sandy's subs and swimming in her underwear."

Robert laughed out loud and slapped his hand on the table.

"Now that's priceless," his friend grinned. "You swam in your underwear?"

"Yeah, we did. She just took off her clothes, just like that."

"Hmmm. I bet that got your juices flowing."

Elliot shook his head and took another swig of his beer.

"You make it sound so cheap, Rob," he said.

"Well, you gotta admit, El, up until now your dealings with the ladies have been a little ... how to put it ... shallow."

Robert was right. It had been and he was sick of it. He loved sex, there was no denying that. But there had to be more than that. He'd just about stopped looking but now? He was back to square one because of Olivia. He believed in love again - even in love at first sight - and he was hooked. Then he remembered something.

"Hey Rob, another thing. She has this scar, right here."

He pointed at the right side of his forehead.

"She said she got it in a car accident a while back but she wouldn't tell me anything about it."

Robert frowned as he took in the information.

"Car accident huh? There should be a record of it somewhere."

They looked at each other and, as was often the case, they were thinking the exact same thing.

...

A while later, they were at the computer in the library. Robert had brought his laptop from work and did his own searches in the police databases, while Elliot scrolled through all the newspaper articles that his search had yielded. He'd entered the town's name, car accident and female injured, and had set the time frame to go back as far as two years. He couldn't believe how many hits he got but each time he read the article, either the age of the female involved was wrong or a name was mentioned that wasn't Benson.

"You said she lives with her half-brother and his mother, right? So they have the same father?" Robert asked as he went over some information on his laptop.

"Yeah. You find something?"

"Well, I guess so. On her birth certificate the father is listed as unknown."

Elliot frowned and leaned over to look on Robert's screen. There it was. Mother: Serena Benson. Father: unknown. He checked the date of birth and did the math quickly. She was going to be 27 in October. But why was her father listed as unknown?

"Oh wait," he said, remembering what Simon had told him. "Her brother told me that they only found out a couple of years ago that they had the same dad. Can you pull him up too? Simon Marsden."

Elliot turned back to the newspaper articles and scrolled down again.

"Marsden, right? He took his mother's last name. She's Sharon Marsden and the father listed is Joseph Hollister. He's deceased."

Elliot nodded. He knew that. He wondered why both kids didn't take his last name but sat up straight when he saw the next article on his screen. The headline hit him square in the chest and made his neck hair stand on end. He immediately knew this was what he had been looking for.

 _Scorned lover crashes car, loses baby._

...

 **To be continued ...**


	12. Family

**12\. Family**

It was as if everything was falling into place. Elliot read the entire article and eventhough a name wasn't mentioned, he just knew it was her. It made sense. It explained her sadness and the things Kathy and Simon had said, that she'd had it rough and wasn't getting serious with anyone for a while.

 _Scorned lover crashes car, loses baby._

The reporter hadn't just covered the crash but had gone into town to get some background information on the driver of the car. The young woman, a 25 year-old brunette, had skidded of the road and had hit a tree at high speed. She was flung out of the car and was admitted to the hospital with multiple injuries: a head wound, a broken arm, two broken ribs and internal bleeding. In the hospital it had been established that she had been seven weeks pregnant but had lost the baby. The pregnancy had prompted the reporter to dig a little deeper and Mrs. Parker from the book store was mentioned as his source. She knew that the young woman, who was a volunteer at the hospital, had been involved with a young resident. She had been very deeply in love with the man but once his one year residency was over, the doctor had said goodbye to everyone, including her, and had packed up to leave for another residency in another state. The reported had included a quote from Mrs. Parker:

 _"He wanted nothing to do with the baby. Can you believe that? He's a doctor but he told her to get an abortion. Poor thing was heartbroken. She must have gone after him. He left just twenty minutes before she took off in her car. And now [the doctor]'s gone and the baby too. Such a tragedy."_

Elliot scrubbed his hands down his face and sighed. He didn't know what to feel. If the doctor's name hadn't been edited out, he would probably have found the man to confront him. He couldn't believe anyone could do such a thing to anyone, let alone to someone as wonderful as Olivia. He was angry but he also felt overwhelmed with sadness for her, and the need to protect her from further harm. He wanted to make it all better, to help her in any way possible. But what could he do?

Robert had read the article silently as well, and put a hand on his shoulder, no doubt sensing how upset Elliot was.

"This sucks El. Are you sure it's her?"

"Positive," Elliot said.

He didn't know how, but he just knew. This was her story. He remember the way her eyes had glazed over when she'd mentioned the hospital. And the softness in her eyes when she'd looked at little Nina. She must have wondered what her baby would have looked like and if it would have been a boy or a girl. The crash had happened a little over a year ago, so she would have been a mother by now. He was ashamed now about feeling relieved that Nina wasn't hers. It had been a very selfish thought. Now he wished she had had her baby. He could see it now, her bright smile as she held her little bundle of joy. And he would be right there. He wanted that with her ... He bit his lip. Who was this man, thinking about having a family with a woman he'd only met a few weeks ago? Surely, it couldn't be Elliot Stabler?

Robert was continuing his searches and Elliot tried to focus on his friend. He was trying to do a search for residents but he didn't have clearing to check hospital records and their staff.

"I can try to get the info from a friend," Robert said, "but maybe you don't need to know who the guy was. I think this article really says it all, don't you think?"

Elliot agreed. He was still a little shocked. She must have been devastated and probably didn't believe in love anymore. He feared that their weekend had been a casual thing for her after all. Later that night, when he was lying in his bed, he wondered if she thought about him at all anymore. Maybe he had just been a distraction for her to forget about her pain. She pretended to be a happy, carefree and flirty girl but he knew now that it was all just an act. Her heart was broken and her trust in men was probably crushed as well. She had appreciated his honesty when he told her he would only be in town for a few days, so that was something. But he was afraid that in the end, that had been the only reason she had slept with him. Because she knew he would leave again, and all she had wanted was some distraction. She even said so at the ice cream shop, that sex was the best way to unwind. She didn't want empty promises. She'd probably gotten plenty of those from her boyfriend, the doctor.

...

Their small family was gathering in Bernadette Stabler's beach house. Maureen had brought her girlfriend, and their father's brother and his wife had come as well. Elliot was helping his mother in the backyard, where they arranged lawn chairs around a wooden table. His mother had invited her two best friends over because she felt safe when the women were around. The ladies were also very curious to see Maureen's new girlfriend, she admitted to Elliot, who just smiled. He'd learned to live with his mother's eccentricities and he was glad she had two friends nearby that she felt comfortable with.

The first thing that had struck Elliot when he saw Maureen's girlfriend was, that she had dark brown eyes. Obviously, he and his sister had the same taste in women. Vivian was a blonde and she had a tattoo on her right shoulder. Maureen was clearly in love, and was darting around her girlfriend the whole time. Vivian was a few years older than Maureen. Elliot figured she would be about 33. She was a truck driver and an amateur boxer and clearly not a lady to mess with. Maureen worked in fashion and Elliot thought they made a very odd couple, which was exactly why they'd probably be a perfect fit. He was happy for his sister but couldn't help wondering if he would ever be able to introduce his own brown-eyed lady to his family.

When everyone had arrived and Elliot had made sure that they all had a drink, he made a toast to his little sister. Maureen thanked him and sat down next to him.

"So tell me El, when are you going to settle down with a nice girl? Or a guy of course," Maureen added with a grin.

"Settle down?" he asked her. "You're thinking of settling down with Vivian already?"

Maureen's blue eyes were sparkling.

"Yeah. I think I knew the day I met her. Can you believe that? I never believed in that love at first sight crap at all, but now ... It's like I've found the one thing that was missing from my life all along."

Vivian, who was sitting on Maureen's other side, looked at them and smiled at Maureen. Elliot could see the love in her eyes and nodded.

"I know what you mean, Maureen," he said softly.

Maureen squinted and looked at her brother.

"You do?"

Elliot grinned, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. He hadn't planned on telling his family anything about Olivia. Not yet anyway. But Maureen had always had a way of reading him that only a sibling could have.

"Elliot Joseph Stabler, have you met someone too?" Maureen said, bouncing up and down in her chair. "Tell me!"

The others were noticing that Maureen was excited about something, and they all suddenly stopped talking. Elliot looked around and made a goofy face to distract everyone. Bernadette made a comment about her 'silly boy' and she and her friends started chatting again. Maureen wasn't letting it go though, and nudged his arm.

"El?" she said softly. "You can tell _me_ , can't you?"

He blew out a breath slowly. What was there to tell?

"I'm not sure if there is anything to tell, Maur. I met a girl but I have no idea if she's interested."

"But you are."

"Yeah."

Maureen kept her voice down but demanded to know more, like her name, what she looked like and how they'd met. Elliot promised to fill her in later, but not while their mother was listening. Bernadette was a free spirit but she didn't exactly agree with Elliot's life style, so he didn't want her to know too much about his hookups. A while later, after Ellliot had used the restroom, Maureen was waiting for him in the kitchen. He gave his little sister a sideways hug and smiled.

"I don't know what to tell you, sis. I went to that town again where I go when I have a few days off, remember?"

Maureen nodded.

"I met this girl in a bar and we hung out together for a few days, and now I just can't get her out of my mind."

"I see. And by hanging out together you mean ..."

He knew why she was asking and he wanted to convince her it hadn't been casual. Not for him, anyway.

"On the first day, we had ice cream together. Then on the second day, we had lunch together and I walked her home at night."

Maureen cocked an eyebrow.

"You walked her home, and?"

"And nothing. She lives with her brother and his mom so I just walked her home and went back to my motel."

"Hmmm. That's new."

"Right," Elliot said, looking at Maureen as if that was exactly the point. "It _is_ new. Maybe she would have gone to the motel with me but _I_ chose to walk her home in stead. Can you believe that?"

Maureen thought about it and then nodded.

"Yeah, I can actually."

She looked out the window at Vivian.

"When you meet someone who's worth it, you want to take your time to get to know her, and treat her with the respect she deserves."

That was exactly it. He respected Olivia too much to take advantage of her.

"But we did have sex," he admitted to his sister. "On the third day."

He wondered now if he hadn't taken advantage of Olivia after all, but how could he have refused her when she had made it so clear that she wanted it?

"And? You're going to see her again soon?" Maureen asked.

Elliot made a helpless gesture with his hands and sighed.

"It will be a while until I have a few days off again. At least two months. And to be honest, I'm not sure she'd want to see me again."

He explained to Maureen how he'd picked Olivia up and his sister rolled her eyes at the cheesy lines he'd used. He described their date to her, how he'd taken Olivia to the secluded lake and later to a perfect spot to watch the sun set. And how Olivia had reminded him that there would be no strings and no promises before she'd initiated sex. And he told her about the newspaper article about her accident. Maureen thought about what he'd told her for a bit and then drew her conclusion, and added her sisterly advice.

"I get that you think she just wanted sex because of how you two hooked up, but she wouldn't have spent all that time with you if she didn't really like you as well. She's probably scared shitless to feel something for a guy again, but that doesn't mean there can't or won't be any feelings there. You _have_ to go back as soon as possible to talk to her."

Elliot turned to lean his hands on the kitchen counter and hung his head.

"Talk to her how? What do I say?"

He couldn't very well tell her he was in love with her, could he? This was brand new territory for him and he really needed some advice. Maureen put a comforting arm around his waist and he suddenly felt like her little brother in stead of her big brother.

"Just be honest El. Tell her your weekend meant something to you and that you'd like to see if maybe there's more between you two."

...

...

 **A/N Next up, we get to know Olivia a little better. How does she remember her weekend with Elliot?**


	13. Back in Town

**So you guys think you have this story figured out now, right? Well, let me complicate it a little further ... (insert evil laugh here)**

...

 **13\. Back in Town**

Olivia Benson was almost finished cleaning the tables at Dana's Diner after their last breakfast guests had left. They served breakfast until 10 AM and then got everything cleaned up so they could start preparing for lunchtime. She was humming along with the radio as she wiped the last tables clean. She was finally finding a comfortable rhythm again after the turbulent year she'd had. Sometimes she still missed Dean, but then she remembered his cold eyes on that last day. That day that had changed her life forever.

She'd been so in love and just knew they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. Doctor Dean Porter had been the perfect gentleman and had wined and dined her for weeks before things got really serious. She had never met a man like him and she was sure she never would again. They had been together for eight months when his residency at the hospital was going to end. She had just assumed he would put in for another year at their hospital, or apply for a regular position. Things were going great. And when she found out she was pregnant, she was on cloud nine. She was certain he would propose and ask her to move in with him, and they would be a real family.

In stead, he broke her heart. He was leaving town, the hospital and her. He actually laughed at her when she said that she thought he loved her. And when she told him they were having a baby, his eyes turned to ice. There was nothing left of the loving and caring boyfriend she'd known. He just told her to get rid of the baby as soon as possible and that he didn't plan on wasting his life on a waitress in a small town. In the end, he had just used the most beautiful girls he could find to fulfill his own selfish needs. She found out later that she hadn't even been his only girlfriend.

Olivia walked behind the counter to rinse out her cloth. Another upbeat song started on the radio and she started moving to the beat a little bit. She was feeling much better now, and she smiled when she remembered the city cowboy that had walked into her life almost three months ago. He'd been the first man she had let get close to her since the accident. He'd been nice. Really nice. And honest. He hadn't made up lies to get her to sleep with him. He'd told her right off the bat that he would only be in town for a few days. No strings and no empty promises.

She had felt safe with her cowboy, as she still called him sometimes when she and Kathy would chat about the men in their lives. He was handsome and funny, and romantic, and a very good lover as she'd found out that last night. She took a deep breath when she remembered his muscular body, again. She was trying not to dwell on it. It had been just one time. Well, twice actually. And then he'd left, just like he said. He hadn't betrayed her and she didn't feel like he'd used her. If anything, she had used him. He had stirred something inside her. Something real, that she hadn't felt in a long time and it had made her open up, just a little bit. But it had scared her too. She wasn't going to fall for someone again who would only be around temporarily. She'd learned that the hard way. She needed someone in her life who she knew would always be there.

...

Sandy and Tina came back from a small errand and the three of them started pre-preparing some meals before the Friday lunch rush. Sandy heard the doorbell and asked Olivia to see who it could be.

"You're expecting your man soon, right? Maybe he's early," Sandy said with a wink.

Olivia wiped her hands with a towel and left the kitchen to see who had come into the diner at 10.40 AM. She was just opening her mouth to greet their guest when she saw him and froze. It was her cowboy ... And his bright blue eyes were shining as he gave her his widest smile.

"Hey," he said happily. "I'm back."

"Hey," she answered, quickly shaking off her initial shock.

Elliot was the last person she expected to walk in here. She was glad she was standing behind the counter so she could lean on it without letting on that she was a little shaken up. She needed to put on her happy face immediately. She forced a smile and asked him,

"What brings you back this way in the fall? It's not a holiday in New York, is it?"

"No, it isn't," Elliot said while he walked up to the counter. "I have a three day weekend and I just wanted to see you. I drove all night to get here today."

Olivia swallowed and nodded, feeling a little confused. Why would he drive all night to see her? It had just been one weekend. She hadn't made any promises, had she? It was as if his blue eyes were seeing right through her, and when he spoke again, she was certain he was seeing right through her.

"Liv, I know we didn't agree to stay in touch or anything but ... I just can't stop thinking about you. I guess I still want more of your time."

She smiled, remembering his lines when he'd first talked to her. He didn't want anything from her, just to spend time with her. She'd even wondered if he would have slept with her at all, if she hadn't made the first move. He was different. Respectful. But he wasn't from around here and she didn't want to make the same mistake twice. She just couldn't. It still hurt too much.

"Well Elliot, it's been almost three months. I don't know ..."

The doorbell rang again, and she looked behind Elliot at the door to see who it was. It was Nick. Elliot had turned around as well, and when he looked at her again, she could see the question in his eyes. Nick, who didn't seem to recognize Elliot in his winter coat and without his hat, walked right past him and rounded the counter to join Olivia.

"Hey baby, keeping busy?" he asked her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the lips.

Olivia smiled at him, returning the hug but she looked at Elliot again right away and let go of Nick.

"Hi Nick, look who's here," she said and Nick, who kept his arm around Olivia's waist, finally looked at their guest.

"Well well, if it isn't the cowboy from the big city," Nick said, looking at him up and down before looking back at Olivia. "You knew he was comin'?"

"No Nick, I didn't," she said quickly.

She could tell Elliot was trying to assess what she and Nick were to each other now and she felt the need to explain. But why should she? They hadn't made any promises. He may have come to see her but her life had continued while he was gone. As it should, she thought and she straightened her shoulders unconsciously. Elliot's face had hardened a little. His eyes were searching hers but she was shutting him out. He was a stranger, passing through twice or three times a year but this was her town, her life and her boyfriend.

"Alright. Well, cowboy," Nick said. "I know Olivia was a free woman when you met her last summer, but she's taken now so ..."

Elliot's bright blue eyes flicked from Nick back to her and she could see shock and pain in them. She frowned and averted her eyes. She didn't want to see his pain. They hadn't made any promises. But as hard as she tried to reason it away, she could _feel_ his pain. It was like it was her own. She looked at Elliot again when he turned to leave. When he reached the door, he turned around and looked at both of them. Olivia could feel Nick's arm burn a hole in her side by now.

"I'll be here until Sunday morning. Maybe we'll run into each other before then."

With that, he was off and Olivia breathed out slowly. Nick was looking at her, no doubt wondering why Elliot's visit had bothered her at all, and she tried to give him her most beautiful smile. Nick knew her too well though and shook his head slightly before changing the subject. They'd literally known each other all their lives and ever since they'd both hit puberty, Nick had had a crush on her. She knew that Nick would never, ever leave her. They'd been friends all their lives and that would never change. He was a constant in her life that she valued. That she _needed_ , now more than ever. She needed consistency and focused her attention on her boyfriend of two months, her loyal friend for over 20 years. He was here and he wasn't going anywhere.

...

After making dinner plans with Nick, Olivia had gone back to work. Elliot's blue eyes kept hauting her all afternoon. She didn't know if she should feel sorry for him or be angry with him. What did he expect? That she would just be sitting here, waiting for him to come back when it suited him? Wasn't the whole point of a one night stand that there would be no expectations afterwards?

Deep down, she knew that their weekend had been more than a one night stand. It hadn't been about sex. He had really tried to get to know her and had gone out of his way to give her a special date. She was used to guys trying to impress her and she didn't mind at all, but it had been different with Elliot. Dangerously different. She didn't want to go down that road again. Last time, she'd barely survived. Literally.

...

...

 **A/N The next Olivia chapter will be up on Friday. Meanwhile, I'd love to know what you think of this development!**


	14. Best Friends

**14\. Best Friends**

When Olivia and Nick arrived at The Saloon that night, all the usual crowd was there already. Olivia glanced around, wondering if Elliot would show up, but she didn't see him. She sat down at the bar next to Kathy and Nick got them both a drink. He spotted a friend at the other end of the bar and walked over. Olivia followed him with her eyes. Nick Amaro. He was the sweetest man, and handsome too with his dark hair and dark eyes. It was just about the only thing he had in common with Dean.

When they were kids, they'd gotten into trouble regularly and Nick would always bail her out, or at least try to. When Nick admitted to her on her seventeenth birthday that he'd fallen in love with her, it had been uncomfortable at first. But they had found their groove again after a while. He had always been protective of her and that hadn't changed. She just enjoyed the extra attention he was giving her and hoped he wasn't hurt too much when she hooked up with someone else. They had both dated a few other people over the years but their friendship had always survived. She knew he was a little wary of the cowboy from New York who had shown up one day, and she guessed he knew she had slept with him that weekend. In the end, he had benefitted from that though, in a weird way. A few weeks after Elliot had left, she'd finally given in to Nick.

It wasn't the first time she and Nick had had sex. When they were fifteen and curious to death to find out what all the fuss was about, they'd experimented a little together. It was the safest way to find out how things worked, without having to be afraid to lose face or be gossiped about in school. Trying out condoms had been hilarious and their first time had been rather painful for her. But they'd read about that in books so they knew it would get better. After a few tries Nick managed to give her an orgasm for the first time, and their experiment had ended. They were ready to face the world. They were team Bensaro. Friends for life.

Her mind drifted back to Elliot and she glanced around again. He wasn't here. It had been new with him, and not just because it had been such a long time that she'd been with a man. Elliot was a very strong man and a powerful lover, but there had been something very tender about him. He definitely knew what he was doing but he wasn't rough. Passionate, yes, but not rough. And the look in his eyes when Nick told him that she was taken ... It had been genuine. He was hurt. He'd come all the way out here again to see her and despite telling herself that there was no need, she felt a little guilty. But she hadn't asked him to come. Why would she? She frowned and took a deep breath. He had no right to just assume that she'd still be alone. That she'd be waiting for him to finally come back when they hadn't made any promises to each other. His life was in New York and hers was here.

Kathy nudged her with an elbow and Olivia snapped out of her thoughts.

"You and Nick doing okay Liv?" her friend asked her.

"Sure," she replied. "Why wouldn't we?"

Kathy shrugged.

"I don't know. I just know that look."

"What look?"

Kathy grinned and looked at Nick across the bar before turning back around to face Olivia. Kathy had been her friend just as long as Nick had, and they talked about everything in their lives. Kathy could read her like a book so she knew there was no sense in trying to hide anything from her.

"My cowboy is back in town," she blurted out.

"Oh. Does Nick know?"

Olivia nodded and explained to Kathy how Elliot had shown up at the diner just before Nick.

"Was it awkward?"

Olivia bit her lip. It had been, a little. But why? He wasn't anything to her, was he? Kathy studied her face and nodded in understanding.

"I know why you're with Nick now Liv, don't forget that," Kathy warned before she could come up with a bogus answer.

Of course Kathy knew. They had discussed it at length after her cowboy had gone back to New York. She wasn't about to open up to a stranger again. To someone who wouldn't stay. Nick was safe. He was always there. His life was here, in this town, just like hers. And he loved her. She had never and would never doubt Nick's love for her. He would never hurt her. Not like Dean had.

It still all boiled down to Dean Porter. He had broken her and for a long time, she thought she'd never be whole again. After the accident and losing her baby, she'd been depressed for months. Sharon Marsden had been great to her and had really stepped up as a surrogate mother. In fact, she'd been more of a mother to her than her real mother had ever been. And Sharon knew what betrayal felt like. They had all been shocked to find out that her husband was in fact Olivia's father. Olivia still wondered sometimes if deep down, her own mother really hadn't know. Granted, she didn't look like Joseph Hollister at all. She had her mother's skin and her mother's eyes. It had been very painful for Sharon to learn that her late husband had hit such a low point in one of his depressions that he had raped someone. But DNA didn't lie and she had shown remarkable strength when she decided to take Olivia in after her mother's death.

And Sharon's strength, the love of her best friend Kathy and her other surrogate mother, Dana, had been what had helped her get back on her feet gradually. Sharon had taken care of her after she'd been released from the hospital. She had nurtured her at home. And after a while, Kathy had helped her get out of the house again. To face everyone who knew what had happened to her, as well as those who weren't sure about it. Kathy provided distraction, helping her to just enjoy herself again, while Dana helped her resume working gradually. She wasn't going back to volunteering at the hospital and Dana gave her some more hours once she was up to it.

After a long winter, spring had set in and Olivia had finally started feeling alive again. She went out again, to The Saloon, to dance to her favorite music. She stayed close to Kathy and Nick at first. They were her safety net. She wouldn't dance with anyone but them for a while but she had gotten better, little by little.  
Men still noticed her and it had given her a boost of confidence that they didn't treat her differently after what had happened. She laughed again, and enjoyed the simple things in life. Like lemon ice cream and butterflies. She savored the little things now, all the good things in life. They charged her and gave her energy. She was able to think back to her time with Dean without breaking down. It still hurt but it didn't kill her anymore.

"So are you going to meet him this weekend?" Kathy asked.

Olivia shrugged.

"I'll talk to him if I run into him but I'm not hooking up with him again, if that's what you're asking."

"You know that's not what I'm asking," Kathy said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "But I know the guy managed to get to you. Don't you wanna know why he came back and went straight to the diner?"

If Olivia was honest with herself, she kind of hoped that Elliot would come to The Saloon. Kathy was right. He'd gotten to her a little. She couldn't hide that from her best friend. She had felt something that weekend, that she thought she'd never feel again. And it had terrified her. She had tested Elliot and he'd passed every test. He hadn't tried to kiss her when they went out for ice cream. He had taken her home in stead of to his room. He had been the perfect gentleman, even when she'd stripped down to her underwear at the lake. But when he kissed her behind the waterfall that Saturday, she knew she had failed her own test. She had been able to keep her happy poker face intact but her walls had come down for a minute. She had felt exposed and had moved away from him quickly, jumping into the water again. But after watching the sun set together and realizing he would be gone the next day, she had just given in to her own weakness. She needed more from this man, even if it would only be for one night.

Maybe she shouldn't have. The memories wouldn't fade, not even after almost three months. Not even after sleeping with Nick again. Nick had become a man since their experimenting at age fifteen but he was still no match for her city cowboy. She hated herself for thinking that way but she just couldn't help it. And now he was back.

"I don't think he's gonna show up here tonight," Kathy mused. "He didn't strike me as the kind of guy who would move in on a woman who's taken."

"No, he wouldn't," Olivia agreed right away.

"We could go find him?" Kathy suggested, her piercing blue eyes trained on her browns. "You know you want to."

Olivia looked down at her glass and then back up at Nick. Nick saw her looking at him and lifted his glass, smiling widely. He was so sweet. He'd been nothing but good to her. She didn't want to hurt him.

"I know, I know," Kathy sighed, understanding her friend without words. "I know Nick's a sweet puppy and you want him to be happy. But you have to be honest with yourself too, honey. This guy ... he's not Dean."

Olivia's eyes flicked back to Kathy's at the mention of Dean's name.

"I know that," she snapped. "but he _will_ leave again."

Kathy sighed, shaking her head. Olivia knew Kathy only wanted the best for her. And she knew that she didn't agree with her reasons for being with Nick. She wasn't in love with him. She did love him though, in a different way. And that was something, right?

Nick came back towards them and asked Olivia if she wanted to dance. Just when she hopped off her stool, Kathy put a hand on her arm.

"Liv, you two have fun here, okay? I'm going to check out a few other places. See if I can get some action too. Talk to you tomorrow?"

Olivia pursed her lips. She knew Kathy was going to look for Elliot. And she couldn't stop her, so she just gave her friend a brief nod before following her boyfriend to the dance floor. A few minutes later, Kathy left The Saloon.

...


	15. Rumors

**It's funny how everyone is speculating about how this will continue. Let's see what I made of it. I had a lot of this pre-written when I started publishing and have 95% of the plot in my head, so I'm trying not to let you guys influence me too much :).**

...

 **15\. Rumors**

Olivia and Nick slept in on Saturday morning at Nick's place, and were just making a late breakfast when Kathy dropped by, asking if Olivia would go shoe shopping with her. Olivia knew why she was there. She wanted to tell her that she'd found Elliot the night before. If she hadn't, she knew Kathy wouldn't be here. Nick told her it was fine, like he always did, and after breakfast and a quick coffee, the girls left together.

"So?" Olivia asked as soon as they were outside. "What are you dying to tell me Kath?"

"You're not gonna like it," Kathy said right away and Olivia frowned.

They walked away from Nick's house and when Kathy was certain they were out of earshot, she continued.

"I found him at The Swamp."

Olivia scrunched up her nose. Why on earth would a man like Elliot go to The Swamp? The music there was always too loud and the crowd was loud as well. They were into metal rock and some other kind of music that Olivia's ears just couldn't bear. She thought the artists were screaming more than they were actually singing. She'd been to The Swamp a few times to see who was there, but she'd never stayed long.

"And?" she asked Kathy, because she did want to know what Elliot had been up to.

"He was wasted when I got there, and still drinking. I don't even think he recognized me."

"Did you talk to him?"

Kathy shook her head.

"No, but I sat two stools away from him at the bar for a while. He must have seen me. Or at least noticed that someone was sitting there."

"And then what?"

"Well ..."

Kathy hesitated and Olivia wondered what could be worse than Elliot getting drunk at The Swamp.

"Uhm ... Amanda was there."

"Sheesh, wat a surprise" Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

Amanda Rollins was everywhere so she shouldn't be surprised that she frequented The Swamp as well.

"Yeah, she was all over him and she uhm ... left with Elliot."

Olivia bit her lower lip. There was no way Amanda was his type. He must have been really drunk.

"He could barely walk," Kathy confirmed.

"So how do you know he went home with her?"

Kathy grinned.

"Olivia, call me Sherlock."

"You followed them?"

Kathy shrugged.

"Sure, why not. I like the guy and I love you. We had to be sure."

They were strolling towards Main Street and Olivia pointed at the shoe store on the corner. They walked into the store and Kathy tried on a few pairs of high heels while they continued chatting.

"You didn't wait outside until he came back out, did you?" Olivia asked her friend softly.

"No, I left after about ten minutes. The light in her bedroom was on so I figured they'd be a while."

Olivia knew it was absolutely none of her business, but the thought of his muscular body in bed with someone else and his strong hands caressing another woman's body like he'd done hers, didn't sit well with her. And he'd gone home with Amanda of all people. Kathy tried on two different shoes to compare them in the mirror. After turning around a few times, the blonde turned back to face the mirror, and froze.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"Sssh," Kathy said immediately. "Look who just walked in."

Olivia peeked behind her and saw Amanda strolling into the shoe store.

"Shit," she whispered.

The store wasn't very big so Amanda was bound to notice them within minutes.

"Hey girls."

They both knew the southern accent only too well.

"Hi Amanda," Kathy said, and Olivia just nodded at the blonde.

"You two goin' out tonight? If so, you might run in to a familiar face."

Kathy was suddenly focused on changing shoes once again.

"We know lots of people," Olivia said casually.

"Yeah well, this one ain't from around here and you might wanna steer clear too," Amanda said, flipping her long hair away from her shoulder. "You should remember him, Olivia. It's that city cowboy that hung around you for a whole weekend a while back."

"Really?" Olivia replied.

Amanda was clearly desperate to share her story and Olivia was curious, so she asked her,

"So why should we steer clear of him?"

"Well, he went home with me last night all excited," Amanda told them, "but after we got home and I 'serviced' him, he just rolled over and passed out. I got nothing out of it. If you ask me, he don't hold his liquor very well for a city boy."

Kathy made a throaty sound when Amanda used air quotes when she said 'serviced' and Olivia couldn't suppress a smile. It was just like Amanda to share such a detail.

"And, where is he now? Still in your bed?" Kathy asked. "You hoping he'll be up to the job when you get back home?"

"Hell no!" Amanda huffed. "Kicked him out as soon as he started movin' again 'cause he was gonna puke all over my bed. I guess he made it to his motel 'cause he wasn't lyin' on my stoop this morning."

Despite Olivia's disgust that Elliot had gone home with Amanda and had gotten a blowjob from her, she still felt for him. She knew he'd gotten drunk over her and he probably didn't even remember Amanda or her servicing. As soon as Amanda dashed off again because this store had 'nothin' that suited her', Kathy looked at Olivia to gauge her reaction to this new information about her cowboy.

"You wanna go see if he's alright?" Kathy asked.

Olivia shook her head. She didn't owe Elliot anything. Plus she was with Nick now. Kathy could see right through her though, and pushed her some more.

"I think you do. You should at least talk to him before he leaves again tomorrow. See what he has to say. You know he probably won't be back, right?"

Olivia looked at her friend in shock. She hadn't even thought of that. If Elliot left again and never came back, would she regret not speaking with him? As she thought it over, Kathy nodded.

"Right. I can come with you if you want?"

"No," Olivia said quickly. "No, that won't be necessary."

Kathy seemed content with her answer, and finally picked a pair of shoes. After she'd paid for the shoes they went to Dana's for a cup of coffee and a muffin.

...

Dana Lewis was another southern belle who had found her home in the small town. She used to have a diner in Alabama but had left everything behind to start over in the home town of the love of her life, Noah Bunning. Noah was a real estate agent and had helped her set up a new diner, that had been a great success from the start. Dana wasn't surprised to see one of her waitresses come in on her day off. She always treated her girls as if they were her daughters. She had three sons and often complained about the lack of girls in their household. When they were kids, Olivia and Kathy already hung out at Dana's and even then, she'd been like a surrogate mother for Olivia. She'd been happy to take Olivia under her wing when she started looking for a job. Olivia was certain that both Dana and Kathy had kept her on the straight and narrow when it became clear that Serena Benson didn't just like to drink on weekends. No one had ever said anything about it, but they had all known it, except maybe Serena herself. Olivia's mother was an alcoholic.

Olivia remembered the day as if it was yesterday, that she found her mother almost passed out from drinking for the first time. When she was very little, Serena had kept her drinking hidden from her daughter, but at age eight, it became clear to Olivia that her mother wasn't like other mothers. And then she'd blurted out the awful truth, that she'd been raped and had gotten pregnant with Olivia. Young Olivia had ran out of the house to Dana's and had cried her eyes out. Her daddy was a bad man, and not a brave soldier fighting for his country far away, like she'd always imagined.

As she got older, she had tried to get her mother to talk about her trauma, to help her but also to find out if she really didn't know who her daughter's father was. But even when Serena had been drunk, she had never, ever mentioned a name. All she would say, over and over again, was that he'd raped her. Olivia would prod her a little, hoping that her intoxicated brain would produce details that she would never divulge when sober. She never did. The local police had always assumed that Serena's attacker had not been a local and her case had gone cold after a few months. It was never solved until she and Kathy had decided to have their blood tested for fun. One of the lab assistants at the hospital, who she thought had a crush on young nurse Kathy, was willing to cooperate. Run a familial match and see what pops.

And then out popped Simon. Her paternal half-brother. It had been quite the scandal but Olivia had actually been immensely relieved. Her father hadn't been a random criminal, just a confused man who hardly knew what he was doing at the time. It had made it more bearable for her. The only thing that had upset her was, that her father had died from a stroke just months before their chance discovery. She hadn't known him and had so many questions for him. And then her mother had passed away a few months after. Knowing the identity of her rapist hadn't made things better for her. Her drinking had become even worse and one night, almost four years ago, she had fallen down a stoop in the street, hitting her head just the wrong way, resulting in a fatal skull fracture.

"Olivia, honey. What's wrong?"

Dana could always tell when something was bothering her and the older woman sat down across from her, next to Kathy. Kathy looked at her friend expectantly.

"I'm not sure if anything's wrong Dana," she said hesitantly, and she ignored Kathy's huff at her words.

Dana glanced at Kathy briefly but directed her attention back to Olivia.

"Come on honey, you can tell me. Man trouble again?"

Olivia hung her head and then looked up at Dana.

"Alright, I'll tell you. Here's the thing. I met this guy a couple of months ago."

"Go on," Dana said encouragingly.

"He was just in town for a few days and he was honest about that. I had a ... fling with him and I thought that was the end of it."

Dana rubbed her chin with her hand, leaning her elbow on the table.

"He they guy that got you back in the game then?"

Olivia nodded and then said, vehemently,

"But I can't go down that road again. I need someone who's here and who's staying."

Dana was a little surprised at Olivia's sudden outburst and looked at Kathy again.

"Go down which road again exactly?" Dana asked Olivia calmly. "You said it was just a one time thing."

The question confronted Olivia with what had been obvious to Kathy all along. Her weekend with Elliot had meant something to her. Olivia didn't answer Dana's question and just stared down at the table, frowning.

"You're with Nick now, right?" Dana asked, and Olivia nodded. "Because he's here. It's a safe choice."

Olivia nodded again, realizing now that she was hearing it from Dana, that it was a debatable choice. She was with Nick because he was safe. Not because she was in love with him.

"Dana, listen," Kathy finally chimed in. "Elliot ... that's his name, he's back in town and he was really upset when he found out that Olivia has a boyfriend now. I'm afraid he won't come back once he leaves tomorrow so I'm trying to convince Olivia that she should talk to him before he leaves."

"But we agreed that there would be no strings and no empty promises," Olivia said quietly, almost more to herself than Dana. "So why is he upset now?"

"I have a better question for you, Olivia," Dana said. "Why are _you_ upset now?"

...


	16. Confronting

**To the guest who would like more frequent updates because I have a lot written out already: I want to stick to twice a week for now because I'm still writing this. Also, this isn't my only story so I really need writing time. As soon as you all catch up with me, the wait would get even longer between chapters so it's Mondays and Fridays for now. (Some writers have weeks between chapters so I'm really spoiling you all ...) Hope you understand!**

 **Having said that, I'm posting this chapter a day early, just to make you all happy. Leave a review?**

...

 **16\. Confronting**

 _"But we agreed that there would be no strings and no empty promises," Olivia said quietly, almost more to herself than Dana. "So why is he upset now?"_

 _"I have a better question for you, Olivia," Dana said. "Why are_ you _upset now?"_

Olivia didn't look at Kathy. She knew exactly what she'd see if she did. Her patented 'I told you so' look. The truth was, she was terrified. Elliot had stirred something inside her that had made it all come back. And she just couldn't handle it. She had rushed into Nick's waiting arms, knowing he would never refuse her or leave her. And now that Elliot was back, she felt like she was back to square one. She had tried to bury the memories of her time with Elliot. How special he'd made her feel, like she was worth something and that he was really interested in her; even cared about her. Like when they talked about butterflies and he said he wanted to give her everything she'd ever need. No, that the way to have a _butterfly_ is your life was, to give it everything it needed. Not her. He couldn't have meant her. He shouldn't have meant her. She couldn't go through that again. She wouldn't fall in love with a stranger again.

Dana was watching he facial expression change and put a comforting hand on Olivia's arm.

"Honey, it's okay to feel something for someone you've only just met. I knew the second time Noah walked into my diner. My heart just jumped up when I saw him come in and I've never been the same since."

"No."

Olivia shook her head.

"No no no! I felt that way about Dean too and look where that got me. I can't ..."

Her voice cracked and she jumped up to walk away from the table and over to the window. She'd been just fine with Nick until now. Content. She had a nice life and she was putting the past behind her. So she'd thought. One look into those bright blue eyes and she was a mess again. She didn't want to cry over a stranger and she didn't want to cry over Dean all over again. And the baby ...

Olivia balled her hands into fists. She was _not_ going to do this again. It had taken everything in her to get back on her feet and to get where she was today. No city cowboy was going to undermine that. When she turned back around to Kathy and Dana, her jaw was set. Who was he anyway, to mess up her life?

"O oh," Kathy muttered to Dana, and Dana also looked worried.

"Olivia, please don't do anything stupid," Kathy tried, but she might as well be talking to a wall.

"I'll talk to him," she said, glaring at Kathy, "and I'll tell him to get lost. I don't need him to complicate my life."

Kathy held her hands up in surrender.

"She's all yours Dana, if you can get through to her."

Dana stood up and looked Olivia in the eyes, placing her hands on Olivia's upper arms.

"Olivia, you know I love you like a daughter and I want you to be happy. Please don't do something you'll regret. At least hear him out, okay?"

Olivia frowned and averted her eyes.

"Okay?" Dana repeated, dipping her head down so Olivia would look at her.

Olivia looked at her feet in stead and just hummed.

"Olivia, just ... don't hurt someone else because you're hurtin', okay?"

Her eyes flicked up to Dana's then. She nodded.

"Okay."

...

His head was killing him. He could hardly remember anything from the previous day. The one thing he could remember clearly, hurt even more than his head. Olivia had a boyfriend. Elliot slumped in his chair at The Tavern, nursing his fourth cup of coffee of the day, and slowly coming out of a horrible hangover. He'd gone straight from Dana's Diner to The Tavern the day before, where he'd started drinking. He hadn't had a decent lunch or dinner, just some pretzels and a few snacks that were served at The Tavern. His drinking buddies had been a little concerned, and after a while he'd left to find another place to continue drinking. He ended up at The Swamp. It sounded like the perfect place to drown.

The town had lost all its charm for him. He wasn't really looking at any of the women around him. Without Olivia, he didn't feel he had any reason to be there. He was just going to drink until it was time to go home. He remembered a blonde - Amanda was it? - who'd taken him outside and then to her house. He'd crashed on her bed and had the most erotic dream about Olivia. It was so vivid that he swore he'd had a real orgasm. But then he'd gotten sick and suddenly he was outside, sitting on the ground with his back against a wall. He'd sat there for a while until his stomach settled down enough for him to get up. He must have found his way back to the motel, because when he woke up again, he was on the bed in his room, still fully clothed. He hadn't even taken his boots off. There was vomit on the floor next to his bed and he'd almost thrown up again when he saw it.

This was not how he had expected his weekend to go. He'd looked forward to seeing Olivia so much and his heart had jumped up when he saw her at the diner. And then Nick had come in. The guy she wasn't the least bit interested in last time. And now he was her boyfriend. The thought alone made him sick, and with the amount of alcohol he'd consumed, his stomach couldn't really hold it together. He'd forced himself to eat a sandwich that morning and Simon had provided him with some Advil. He still felt sick, and not just physically, and groaned when the bartender placed another cheese sandwich and a glass of water in front of him around noon.

"It's on the house, Stabler. You look like you could use a break."

Elliot forced a smile and downed the glass of water in one go. Man, he was thirsty. He signaled the bartender for another glass and the man brought him a large bottle. Elliot started pulling small pieces off his sandwich and he thought of little Nina again, who hadn't eaten the crusts. Good idea. He peeled off the crusts and started eating the soft bits slowly. He didn't look up when the door opened. He wasn't in the mood for idle chit chat and kept his eyes on his food. He heard the footsteps of whoever had come into the bar, and they stopped in front of his table. He took another bite of his sandwich and then reached for the bottle of water. He put the bottle to his mouth, and as he lifted his head to take a sip, he looked at the person standing in front of him.

Olivia.

"Hey," she said and Elliot put the bottle down.

"Hey."

"Do you mind if I sit here for a minute?"

Elliot made a wide gesture with his arm.

"It's a free country."

Olivia sat down on the chair on the right side of his small table, and he looked at her. She was still a vision. The most beautiful creature on God's great earth.

"I hadn't expected you at the diner yesterday," Olivia offered quietly.

Elliot huffed.

"No. That was pretty obvious. I'm sorry I didn't call. Would have saved me the trip."

He knew he sounded bitter. He didn't want to snap at her but he still didn't feel well. At all. And she was the cause.

"We didn't make any promises, remember?" Olivia said, her voice steady and calm.

He remembered. Those stupid pick-up lines. How could he have known in that first hour that he would fall for her? He'd said a lot of stupid things. I don't have to make you love me. I don't wanna take your heart. But he did. He did want her to love him and he did want to win her heart. And now it was too late. Time had run out. He never moved in on another man's girl so he wasn't going to start now.

"Why are you here?" he asked, looking down at his plate and picking at his sandwich some more.

When she didn't answer him, he glanced up at her. He could see mixed emotions in her eyes, the predominant one being confusion. When she still didn't speak he shrugged and turned his attention back to his shredded food.

"Doesn't matter now anyway."

He wanted to ask her about Nick. Ask her what had changed her mind about him, when she clearly wasn't interested in him last time. But it was none of his business. He really had no idea why she had come to see him now.

"I live here," she said, and her strained voice made his eyes flick back up to hers.

"My life is here, 365 days a year. I need someone who is here with me, not someone who just comes to town when he feels like it and then packs up and leaves again for God knows how long."

"You knew I was leaving," he said harshly. "So why'd you sleep with me?"

"Same reason you sleep with women in this town," Olivia shot back. "We agreed that it was casual and I don't need this crap."

Elliot shook his head. He didn't believe her. He didn't want to believe her.

"Somehow, I don't think you're that kind of girl," he said quietly.

Olivia didn't answer him and looked away. If the situation wasn't so painful, it would actually have been a little funny. He knew, deep down, that he'd been right about her. She didn't do casual hookups. That was why he'd thought she had felt something during their time together. And that it was the reason she'd slept with him. No, he had hoped it. But he couldn't tell her that. And he could be wrong.

"So why are you here?" Elliot asked again. "You could have just ignored me. I'll be gone tomorrow and I won't be back. Good riddance, right?"

He could see discomfort flit across her face, and something else. Was it pain?

"Why are you blaming me for anything, Elliot? For all I knew, you weren't coming back after last time."

He knew she was right. Of course she was right. He had no right to assume that their time together had meant as much to her as it had to him. There hadn't been so much as a phone call between them afterwards. He wanted to tell her. To grab her and shake some sense into her. But he had no right to upset her life. Again.

He realized with a shock that it was indeed _again_ for her. He thought of what he'd read in the newspaper about her accident and the events preceding it.

"Olivia, I'm not that doctor you dated," he blurted out without thinking.

He might as well have slapped her across the face. She was stunned and he could see in her eyes how her astonishment slowly gave way to another emotion. Anger.

"You're damn right you're not," she said in a very calm, low voice and somehow he knew that it was more dangerous than her yelling. "And I don't appreciate you digging into my private life. Who told you? Kathy?"

Elliot shook his head.

"Doesn't matter. I understand that he hurt you and that you're scared ..."

"Oh, here we go!" Olivia interrupted, raising her voice a little now. "The philosopher cop. Well, thank you for your concern, but no thanks. I was doing just fine before you showed up again so spare me your deep insights, _please_."

Elliot frowned and looked at Olivia's body language while digesting her words. She was doing fine until he showed up? She was pretty worked up now.

"So you're not doing fine now?" he asked, his surprise audible in his voice.

Olivia huffed and folded her arms across her chest. It was clear that she wasn't comfortable at all.

"Of course I'm fine," she said, looking away from him.

"You don't look fine."

"Elliot, just ... I don't know why I'm even talking to you but ..."

"Neither do I. I already asked you, why are you here if it really didn't mean anything to you?"

He wanted to bite his tongue as soon as the words had left his mouth. It should be obvious by now that it had meant something to him but he shouldn't attack her. She had made her choice and he had not business interfering in her life if she was happy. But was she? If she really was content with her life and with Nick, why had his presence upset her so much?

"I am here, because my friends told me I should hear you out. Because that's the decent thing to do."

Her voice was low and ominous again, and he could feel anger simmering beneath the surface. Her words were coming in loud and clear. She didn't want to be here, with him. This was his one and only shot at getting answers from her so he'd better use it wisely. Throwing caution in the wind, he asked her the one thing he really needed to know.

"Are you in love with him?"

Olivia's eyes went a little wide at the question and she stood up.

"I've know him all my life."

Elliot stood up as well.

"That's not an answer to my question."

"My life is none of your business."

"That's not an answer either."

"He'll never leave me."

Elliot grinned at her, never breaking eye contact. It still wasn't an answer to his question and they both knew it. He reached for her hand but she took a quick step back, almost tripping over her chair.

"I came to hear what you had to say, but you're not telling me anything I need to know, so I'm leaving."

 _Last chance._

"It meant something to me, Liv."

She bit her lip and looked down, before turning around quickly and walking to the door. She turned back around and he thought he saw tears in her eyes when she looked at him.

"Goodbye Elliot."

And with that, she was gone.

...

...

 **A/N: Hmmmm.**


	17. Don't mean to bother you

**17\. Don't mean to bother you**

She hadn't responded to his words. How could she? Olivia rushed out of The Tavern and into the street. She didn't want to feel what she was feeling and she certainly didn't want to think about his eyes. Those bright blue eyes that told her so much. Too much. She didn't want to know that it had meant something to him. That _she_ meant something to him. He was messing everything up and it couldn't happen. Not again. This was her _life_ , not a vacation. Her happiness was at stake here. She hurried home, not in the mood to talk to Kathy or Dana, and had a quiet lunch with Sharon in stead. Sharon never asked questions and it gave her the opportunity to calm down a bit. She couldn't believe Elliot had actually called her on her feelings for Nick. It wasn't any of his business, but she couldn't help thinking how right he'd been. She was a coward, afraid to take risks to go after what she wanted. She was scared. Too scared.

That night, they were at The Saloon again and Olivia was restless. Was he going to show up on his last night in town? She regretted talking to him now. It had only made things more awkward. She was dancing with Nick and after a while, he asked her what was wrong with her.

"Liv, you've been distracted all night. What gives?"

"Oh, it's nothing Nick. Just something Kathy said to me," she lied, and Nick seemed to be content with her answer for now.

She still kept glancing around and had drank three vodka cocktails already before she realized she was getting tipsy. Kathy was giving her a warning look every now and then, that she tried to ignore each time, until Kathy rolled her eyes at her. When she hopped on her barstool again, Kathy leaned over to her and said softly,

"I know you're hoping he's coming. Did you talk to him yet?"

Olivia frowned and tossed her head slightly in Nick's direction. He was standing right behind her. He was talking to someone but he might overhear them anyway so she wasn't going to discuss her conversation with Elliot there.

"Yeah Kath, but not now okay?"

Kathy was dying to know what had been said but Olivia wasn't going to give in. And then Elliot came in after all. Her stomach dropped to the floor and she grabbed her drink to take a quick sip. Kathy looked behind her and looked at Olivia again, reading her face like a book as usual. Olivia just wanted to disappear at that moment and leaned back into Nick a bit. Nick wrapped his arm around her waist from behind and kissed the back of her head. He continued his conversation with his friend while holding on to Olivia loosely and she felt a little safer in his arm. Elliot wouldn't do anything stupid, would he?

She followed his movements with her eyes, and so did Kathy. Elliot sat down somewhere halfway the bar and ordered a beer. Once he had his beer, he looked at the two women at the end of the bar and raised his glass. Kathy smiled and raised her glass as well, while Olivia looked away. She was practically shaking. Why was she shaking?

"Hey baby, you okay?" Nick asked her, leaning over her shoulder to look at her.

"Yeah," she said quickly. "I'm fine."

Nick glanced at Kathy and Olivia gave her friend a warning glare.

"I think she just needs to eat something," Kathy chimed in, and Nick called out to the bartender immediately.

"Something to eat for my Livy love, John? What do you feel like eating, princess?" he asked her softly.

He really was the sweetest guy. It took everything in her not to look at Elliot's reaction to Nick's doting on her and told Nick softly that she wasn't really very hungry. He insisted she eat something though, and ordered a grilled cheese sandwich for her, and one for Kathy as well. Maybe it was wise to eat something after the amount of alcohol she'd consument already. When both women turned around to face the bar in stead of each other to eat their food, Nick removed his arm from Olivia's waist and she actually felt a little relieved. Her eyes flicked back to Elliot at last, and she felt a twinge of disappointment when she saw he wasn't looking in their direction. In stead, he was talking to a woman sitting on his other side.

Olivia glanced at Kathy automatically, knowing that her best friend always saw the same things she did. Kathy shrugged and Olivia knew exactly what that meant. It was either yes or no. She couldn't have it both ways. Either she was interested in Elliot or she wasn't. She knew she shouldn't be. It wasn't fair to Nick. And he was leaving the next morning, never to return. She didn't want to think about that. The thought that she'd never see him again ... it was like Dean all over again and she wanted to kick something. Only it wasn't like Dean. It couldn't be. She wasn't in a relationship with Elliot and he hadn't hurt her like Dean had. But he was leaving again. She couldn't deal with people leaving her so she had pushed him away before he could hurt her. But why wasn't it working this time?

...

Elliot wasn't sure why he'd gone back to The Saloon. He usually wasn't into self torture and he wasn't one to wallow. But it was his last night in town and he was drawn to her, whether he wanted to be or not. She hadn't responded to his words at The Tavern. But he had seen her pain. Was it really that hard for her to admit that she had felt something too? Her big brown eyes had told him more than she'd wanted to say, but what could he do? He wasn't going to chase after her. It was up to her and if she chose to be with Nick, whom she'd known all her life, he would have to accept that. The man loved her, he could see that. And even if he thought she didn't love Nick like Nick loved her, it was none of his business.

He wasn't going to try anything. She had a boyfriend so she was off limits. But he could look, right? Just for a while, so he wouldn't forget - as if he ever would. His chest hurt and he'd never felt like this before. He'd been in love a few times, sure. But this time, it felt like he was losing a part of himself. In the months between their weekend together and his return to town, he'd created a world in his head that revolved around her, around them and the life he wanted to have with her. Hell, he would move out here for her and leave everything behind. It didn't make sense after just one weekend, he knew that. But at the same time, it made more sense than anything in his life had before. When he looked at his sister with the love of her life, Olivia was the only one he could think about. He hadn't dated anyone else and had come to town just to see her again. He wasn't interested in finding another woman to hang out with, not even the one sitting next to him at the bar. She had the most beautiful brown eyes too but ... she wasn't _her_.

He knew they were watching him. Olivia and Kathy, practically joined at the hip. Just like him and Robert. And then there was Nick, the devoted boyfriend. Elliot was jealous. Jealous that the man got to touch her. Jealous that he'd known her all his life. She was probably going to marry him. Elliot swallowed hard and downed the rest of his first beer, signaling the bartender for another one. He wasn't going to get drunk tonight but he needed another one, just to help him relax a little. There was one thing he wanted to do before he left and he needed to relax. _Sap Stabler_. Nervous about giving someone his contact info. But it was the only thing he could do under the circumstances. Put the ball in her corner and let her decide if she ever wanted to see him again, or maybe talk to him on the phone. He wasn't sure how to approach her though. She and Kathy were eating at the moment, and Nick never left her side.

After a while, Kathy got up to go to the restroom. Of course. Why hadn't he thought of that before? He got up, giving the lady next to him an apologetic smile, and followed Kathy to the restroom area. He leaned against the wall, hands tucked in his pant pockets, and waited until she came back out. When Kathy emerged from the restrooms, she walked up to him as if she'd expected him there.

"Hey, how you doing?" she asked him sympathetically.

He realized that Kathy understood the entire situation so he didn't need to explain anything to her.

"I'm okay," he said, shrugging, "just sorry my weekend didn't turn out the way I thought it would."

Kathy stood next to him, leaning her shoulder against the wall as well and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"She's been hurt deeply Elliot. She's scared out of her mind to get hurt again."

Elliot nodded and bit his lip.

"I know. The doctor, right?"

"Yeah. What a prick. None of us saw that coming you know. I never saw the signs either, and usually I'm a pretty good judge of character."

Elliot believed her. Kathy was a woman with spunk, who would probably call anyone out on their crap.

"Turns out he had two more girls on the side on the other side of town. Hiding behind his early shifts, night shifts, whatever, to screw around."

Elliot hung his head. She'd been hurt even worse than he thought.

"And the baby," he said softly.

"Yeah. I got there too late after Sharon called me, and she'd already taken off in her car. She was so out of it that she wasn't thinking straight. Going after him like that, as if he would change his mind. He didn't deserve her. She's a great girl and he treated her like garbage in the end."

Kathy was on a roll and Elliot didn't stop her. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Olivia.

"You know ... I'm not supposed to think that way, but it's a blessing in disguise that she lost the baby. She'd never be able to start fresh raising his kid. She would have kept it, you know. She was so happy to become a mom. She adores kids."

Elliot just looked at the blonde. He felt lost. The ache in his heart was only getting bigger with all this new information to digest. He wanted to be the one to take away Olivia's pain and make it all better. Give her the family she longed for and the love and care she deserved. He hadn't noticed that there were tears welling in his eyes, until Kathy put a hand on his arm briefly.

"Hey," she said softly. "She's doing better now. You can tell, can't you?"

Elliot blinked and smiled shyly. He felt comfortable with Olivia's friend and he was happy for her that she had such a loyal friend to support her. He knew Olivia was doing better. She'd been amazing on their date. Carefree and happy, and she had given herself to him without any restraints. But for her, it had been one night while for him, it had been life-altering. And he had come back too late.

"So, this Nick. He good for her?" he asked Kathy.

Kathy sighed and closed her eyes for a second.

"Nick ... He's always had a crush on Liv. He's good people. Loyal and attentive."

"But?" Elliot asked, sensing that there was more on Kathy's mind.

"She does love him," the blonde said, a little hesitantly, and Elliot realized that she was trying to decide how much more personal information she could divulge about her best friend. Kathy was looking away from him.

"Look, I'm not trying to pump you for information, okay?" he said quickly. "I know she's your best friend and some things are private. I'm sorry I asked."

Kathy nodded and looked at him again.

"So you're not coming back?"

He shrugged.

"What's the point? She's made her choice."

Kathy bit her lip and he could see the doubt in her eyes. Kathy knew the same thing that he'd seen in her eyes at The Tavern, when he'd told her that their weekend together had meant something to him. He knew Kathy would understand what he was going to ask of her.

"Kathy, the reason I waited out here for you ... I don't mean to bother you but I wanted to ask you if you would give this to Olivia."

He pulled a small card from his back pocket and handed it to Kathy.

"It's my business card. I've written my address and phone number on the back."

Kathy took the card and stared at it, turning it around in her hands a few times. Then she nodded.

"I'll make sure that she gets it."

...

...

 **A/N: Please keep the speculations coming. I love them!  
And just to give you an idea, I'm working on chapter 21 right now, so you guys are gaining on me ... I may have to go back to updating once a week soon :-o  
**


	18. Talk

**At LaceNLeather24: Yes, it's okay to admit that you actually like Kathy in this story. She's a great best friend here. In fact, I've always liked Kathy and never portray her as a bitch in my stories. We can't really blame her for getting caught in the middle of Bensler, can we?**

...

 **18\. Talk**

When Kathy returned to her stool, Olivia knew something was up. She'd been gone too long and so had Elliot. Nick had joined a few friends at a table and she nudged Kathy.

"What were you doing? Talking to _him_?"

Kathy nodded.

"Yeah. He wants you to have this."

Olivia looked at the card in her friend's hand. His _address_? She looked at the spot where Elliot had been sitting, but he hadn't returned and someone else had taken the stool. He didn't come back.

When they all decided to go home, Olivia told Nick she was going to sleep over at Kathy's. They really needed to talk. Now, three hours later, she was still wide awake. Kathy had relayed her entire conversation with Elliot to her and had given her some unsolicited advice too. So Elliot knew all about Dean and the baby and the cheating. And it had hurt him. Kathy said he had looked like he could cry. Olivia turned around in bed again, from her right side back to her left side, so she was facing Kathy. Kathy had dozed off half an hour ago and was snoring softly. She really was the best friend in the whole world but sometimes she could be very confronting, forcing Olivia to own up to things she wasn't ready to admit. But Kathy knew anyway.

Elliot had bowed out gracefully. He respected her choice to be with Nick even if he didn't agree with it. He had actually asked her if she was in love with Nick. And she hadn't answered him. And he'd asked Kathy about him. It was almost as if he could see though her like Kathy could, and it was unsettling. Scary. And something else. Something she wasn't prepared to put into words.

 _You know you could fall for him_ , Kathy had said to her. _And he's a good guy. For real this time. He's not like Dean._

She knew that. Deep down, she knew. But she was afraid to get hurt again. He didn't have to be a lying, cheating bastard to hurt her. All it took was leaving, and he was leaving the next morning. Her life would return to normal, with Simon, Sharon, Nina, Dana, Kathy and Nick. Her Nick, who would never hurt her. And she didn't want to hurt him.

...

"What's up with Stabler lately?" Jeffries asked Fin softly.

"He looks depressed," Munch chimed in, and they all looked at their co-worker from behind Jeffries' desk.

"I can hear you, you know," Elliot barked before Fin could fill them in. "You all wanna get some work done, or do I have to do everything by myself?"

He knew he wasn't the best company lately but the way the other detectives were tiptoeing around him, was pissing him off. He was getting paid to do his job, not to be the light of the party. The December holiday cheer was absolutely wasted on him this year and he had told Cragen that he wouldn't mind working through Christmas because he didn't have any plans anyway. Maureen and Vivian were going on vacation and he would just have dinner with his mother on Christmas Eve. Fin did have plans but agreed to be on call just in case a big new case popped up, so it was agreed that Elliot would work on Christmas Day and the day after.

"But after that, you're taking a few days off, detective," his Captain told him. "I know you'd rather keep on working but even you need a rest from time to time. It's not up for debate."

Elliot called Robert, who informed him that Declan would also be in town between Christmas and the new year. Elliot perked up a bit. Hanging out with his two best friends would do him some good. At least it gave him something to look forward to. Both men were spending Christmas with their girlfriends, of course, but it would be just the three of them after that. It had been a while since he'd actually looked forward to something. Leaving the town behind him for the last time hadn't been easy. But he couldn't go back there. It had become _her_ town, and there was no place for him there anymore.

...

December 26. Robert was aware of Olivia, of course, and filled Declan in once they had settled into their regular booth at their regular café after Elliot got off work.

"So, let me get this straight El. You met the woman of your dreams and you did nothing _at all_ for three months?" Declan asked him incredulously. "Are you even aware how rare true love is these days?"

It never ceased to amaze Elliot how this rugged Irish Marine was so in touch with his emotions, and could just spit out fundamental truths over a beer in a bar.

"I mean, we're talking _love_ , man. That's even bigger than the freedom we fight for every day. _But_ ..."

Declan raised his finger at the word 'but' and Elliot looked up at it expectantly, almost hoping for some miraculous answer to his problem.

"But, Elliot," he repeated, "true love conquers all. If she's meant to be yours, she will be. You mark my words. Although I think it was incredibly stupid of you not to call her."

Robert chuckled and Elliot couldn't help smiling as well. Declan was right. He should have called her and the only reason he hadn't was that's she'd repeated his own words back to him. No strings and no promises. And by holding himself to those words, he'd lost his chance.

"Nothing is ever lost El," Declan assured him. "The only way to lose, is to give up."

He shook his head and stared into his empty glass. Robert immediately signaled the bartender for another round and got up to get their beers. When he returned, Elliot looked at his two best friends.

"So what do you guys think I should do? I don't go for women who are taken. I gave her my contact info and feel I should leave it up to her."

"And you think that this scared filly is gonna pick up the phone and ask you to come back?" Declan asked him. "From what you've told me, she's holed herself up in her safe little world so she'll never get hurt again. She's not gonna call."

As much as it pained him to admit it, he knew Declan was right. Robert was nodding too. He'd said things to him along the same lines.

"But I know our weekend meant something to her," he insisted. "I just know it. She'd never have ..."

He had to take a deep breath at the memory.

"She wouldn't have spent the night with me if it hadn't. She's not that kind of girl," he said softly.

Still, Olivia wasn't going to reach out to him. To her, he was just another man who left. She needed to know he wasn't before he could expect anything from her. But how could he prove that to her now?

Robert Dumas and Declan Murphy looked at each other, and a look of understanding passed between them.

"What?" Elliot asked, suddenly feeling left out. "What?!"

"When are you due back at work El?" Robert asked him.

"Ehm ... January 1st. Why?"

Robert looked at Declan, who just answered "Same."

"Me too. That's five more days off El. If we head out tomorrow morning, you'll have four days to figure things out with Olivia."

"We? Head out? What are you ..."

Elliot couldn't believe what his friends were suggesting. They wanted to go back to Olivia's town with him? And he should find Olivia to talk to her?

"Guys," he protested. "She's got a boyfriend. She doesn't want me to disrupt her life. And why would you want to come along?"

"Moral support," both men said in unison, followed by a high-five and a wide grin.

"And we're dying to see this beauty, of course," Robert added.

"And El, about moving in on someone else's girl?" Declan said, "If she's really in love with the guy, you'll have your answer. If not, is she really someone else's girl?"

Elliot shook his head.

"I see what you're saying Dec, but I have to respect her choices. It's presumptuous to just waltz into her life and tell her she's got it wrong."

His friends got the point and agreed with him. But to make a choice, Olivia would need to know she _had_ a choice. He couldn't just let her slip through his fingers like this.

"At least put it out there man. _Then_ let her decide."

...

December 26. Olivia was sitting at a table at Dana's Diner. Their first Christmas as a couple had come and gone and she'd tried. She really had. But the longer their relationship went on, the sadder Nick seemed to become. They used to be the best of friends, but it was almost like being lovers was eating away at their friendship. They argued about little things and she didn't know why. Olivia had thought that it would just be the way it had always been, only with the bonus of kissing and sex thrown in. It wasn't. Nick wanted more. She'd seen him pull Dana aside at the diner and although she couldn't hear them, she knew they were talking about her. On top of that, Kathy was still on her case about Elliot.

How she wished now that she'd just laughed at that city cowboy, with his cheesy pickup lines. She would never have gotten to know him, as far as one could get to know anyone in just three days anyway. She wouldn't have known that he was much softer than he looked. She wouldn't have thought of him each time she saw a butterfly. She wouldn't have thought of him the other night, by the camp fire they had all made by the lake on Christmas Eve. About the way he'd touched and kissed her body. How he'd brought her to the brink of ecstasy even before he was inside her and how he'd made love to her. Because that was what they had done. That was why she couldn't just let him go and had gone up to his motel room with him. And that was why she couldn't forget him, even though she'd told herself it would be just that one night.

Olivia sighed and waited for Nick to return to their table at the diner. Suddenly, she didn't care that he'd been talking to Dana about her. Her friends all knew everything about her anyway. She wasn't fooling anyone, least of all herself. And apparently, Nick wasn't fooled any longer either.

"You okay honey?" she asked him when he sat back down.

"Sure," Nick answered automatically.

Olivia reached for his hand and he let her take it.

"Hey, talk to me Nick," she said softly, dipping her head to make eye contact.

Nick looked at her and then leaned back in his chair, nodding.

"Maybe we should Liv. Maybe it's time we talked."

...

 **Review?**


	19. Going back

**It's interesting to read that many readers wanted to hear Olivia and Nick's conversation. I thought that it pretty much said it all when Nick told her they should talk. And so here we are, two days later. Maybe I'll use the conversation in a flashback later on, who knows?**

...

 **19\. Going back**

It was December 28 and Elliot was tapping his knee nervously. He was glad Declan was driving. Declan had a bigger car that could hold all of them and their luggage a lot better than his jeep. Robert was busy texting Pippa in the back seat and Declan was focused on the road. They had taken one extra day to prepare their trip, and they would spend three nights in Olivia's town. Elliot just stared out the window, wondering what the hell he was going to say to Olivia when he saw her again.

He was excited to see her again. He hadn't been able to give his attention to any other woman since meeting her. He'd tried, after learning that Olivia had a boyfriend, and he had even gone home with a woman once. But even while he was with that other woman, he was thinking of Olivia. The woman hadn't complained because she had been more than satisfied. How could she not be, when he'd been making love to Olivia in his mind? But after that one time, he hadn't dated anyone else. He felt like he was cheating on her. The words casual and sex didn't belong together anymore. They never should have in the first place. It wasn't really him and he knew now that it would never be him again.

He was also scared to see her again. She'd made it perfectly clear that she didn't want him to disrupt her life. What if their visit did more damage than good? He sighed and shook his head. Declan glanced at him and shook his head as well.

"You gotta try, El. You know that, don't you?" he asked him.

"Yeah."

He knew. He would be trapped in 'what ifs' for the rest of his life if he didn't. But he was nervous as hell. He faced career criminals without batting an eye but this was something else. His heart was at stake here and he wasn't ready to have it broken permanently.

...

Olivia was working an extra shift. The tourists who managed to find the small town during the holidays ensured some extra turnover for the diner and Dana had asked her to come in for a Friday evening shift because one of the other girls was on vacation. Dana hadn't confronted her about Nick yet, but she knew. And like a good mother hen, she would wait for Olivia to bring it up. Olivia welcomed the distraction. Kathy was working at the hospital this weekend, Sharon had gone to visit relatives in another town and Simon finally had a girlfriend, so there was nobody to distract her at home. She missed hanging out with Nick. She knew it had been the right decision, and he'd promised her they would find their groove again. She did expect them to, but it was all still too fresh. They'd only broken up two days ago.

She was keeping busy in the kitchen while Dana took the orders to the tables. She could hear her chatting with the customers, regulars and tourists alike. Dana was a great hostess, a great boss, and above all, she had a big heart. She'd been Olivia's safe haven throughout her childhood, and in all honestly, she still was. Serena had tried and Sharon was great, but Dana was the closest thing Olivia had had to a real mother figure. She always put her mind at ease, even when she didn't address what was really going on.

Dana came back into the kitchen and nudged Olivia with her shoulder as she washed her hands quickly before grabbing a few menus.

"Three guys just came in here for some dinner. Ain't from around here, I can tell ya but it's a fine lookin' bunch. Wanna take a run at 'em Liv?"

Olivia grinned.

"Really Dana? You think I can just flip a switch like that?"

It was a serious question but the younger and the older woman smiled at each other, a comfortable understanding between them.

"Just bring 'em the menus hun, and then come back here and tell me what you think."

Olivia grabbed the menus Dana was holding out to her and shook her head. She wasn't particularly interested in the tourists that dropped by for a few days, never to be seen again. But they were paying customers so they had to be treated kindly. Olivia smiled and nodded at a few regular customers and then made her way over to table nine to bring their new customers their menus. Just when she opened her mouth to greet them, the man sitting with his back to her turned around and looked up at her.

Olivia froze.

...

"El, there's a really cute waitress heading our way. You sure your girl doesn't work nights?"

Elliot smiled at Robert and then turned around to take a look at the waitress he was referring to. He didn't really know who worked here nights. He didn't even know what the owner looked like. When he saw the girl their eyes locked.

He froze.

"I knew it," mumbled Robert and Declan hummed and nodded.

The waitress came out of her shock first, and pursed her lips while she moved closer to the table.

"Gentlemen. Elliot. I brought you your menus. Let one of us know when you're ready to order please."

She turned around quickly and hurried back to the kitchen. Elliot was still frozen in place and Declan tapped on the table to get his attention.

"Earth to Elliot."

"Yeah," Elliot said, turning back to his friends. "Well ehm ... that was Olivia, obviously."

His friends nodded and Declan craned his neck to try and get another glimpse of the pretty brunette. They all agreed that Olivia was beautiful. And that she was completely shocked to see Elliot again. That had to mean something. Elliot wasn't sure what it meant though. He didn't want to upset her, but by simply showing up he seemed to have done that already. Why did she have to work this night anyway?

"El, we're just going to order some dinner and see if she's willing to talk to you, okay? Maybe set something up for tomorrow," Robert suggested.

All Elliot knew was that he didn't feel well. Seeing her had brought it all back and he was terrified that she would turn him down once and for all. He would have to trust his friends now to make something of the situation. His plan had been to have some dinner, get settled in their hotel and then go to The Saloon to see if Nick and Olivia were there, or Kathy. He didn't know what to do now that she was right here so unexpectedly. In retrospect, they should have gone to a different restaurant to be on the safe side, like his regular Italian place. But they were already here so they'd have to make the best of it.

"El, you have to try and eat something man. Let's see what's on the menu here," Declan said, and Elliot was glad his friends were here.

...

" _That's_ your city cowboy?"

Dana was holding Olivia's trembling hands while she tried to calm down in the kitchen. She couldn't believe he was back and Dana tried to convince her that it had to mean something. But who's to say he came back for her? He was with some friends and maybe they were just here to have some fun. He didn't even know she'd be working here tonight.

"But last time, he said he wouldn't be back, right?" Dana offered. "And now he's here again anyway. That has to mean something Olivia. Don't you think?"

Olivia wasn't so sure. She wasn't even sure she wanted him to be here for her. It terrified her that she'd been so shocked to see him. That he still affected her so much after all these months.

"Honey, you just clean up a bit back here and I'll take their orders and check him out a bit for you, alright?" Dana said, before returning to the diner.

Most of their customers had been served but one of them needed to be visibly present in the diner in case they wanted another drink, dessert or the check. While Dana walked over to Elliot's table to get their orders, Olivia washed her hands and checked the orders that still needed preparing. Some had already ordered dessert and she started preparing them, nervously waiting for Dana to return to the kitchen. It didn't take long and Dana slapped the order slip on the board.

"They're all having the same. Not very original but it's their party," Dana chuckled.

She looked at Olivia, who tried to stay busy with the desserts.

"He seems nice enough," Dana said quietly. "And scared."

Olivia turned around to face Dana.

"Scared?"

"Yeah," Dana nodded. "I almost feel sorry for him. Looks like a lost puppy. I think he's terrified that he's made a mistake coming back without giving you a heads up."

Did Dana really think that she mattered that much to Elliot? Olivia was feeling a bit nauseous and wished she could just call it a night and go home. But that wouldn't be fair to Dana. She couldn't leave her to do everything on her own. But she couldn't just continue waiting tables and walking past him all night, could she?

"I don't know what to do," she admitted nervously.

"You want me to have a chat with them?" Dana offered. "Means you'll have to work a little harder back here though," she added with a grin.

Olivia smiled nervously. She wasn't a child. She didn't need someone else speaking for her. But right now, she welcomed a little buffer between her and Elliot, because she needed some time to sort out her feelings.

"I ... Dana, I don't want you to scare him off or anything."

"Of course not honey. I know that!" Dana assured her. "But I can ask why they're in town, right? Just make a little small talk?"

...

The older woman came back to serve their food. Elliot guessed this must be Dana. He wondered if Olivia was still there. Maybe she'd left right after seeing him again. Dana asked them if they cared for another drink and they all ordered a beer. She walked off and came back with their beers quickly, setting them down in front of them and then looking at their small group.

"Fellas, I'm Dana and I'm glad you picked my place to get a bite to eat. Might I ask what brings you to our little town?"

Both Robert and Declan looked at Elliot, and Elliot frowned at them.

"Our friend Elliot here, comes here from time to time and he's showing us around," Robert offered, gesturing at Elliot.

"Really?" Dana asked, and Elliot thought her southern accent was quite funny. "And the first place you take 'em is Dana's Diner? How come?" she asked Elliot.

Elliot shrugged, trying to keep his cool.

"I had a good lunch here last summer and I thought we'd try dinner this time."

"Last summer? I don't remember seeing you in here."

Elliot glanced at his friends. He had a feeling he was being interrogated. Dana had to know that he and Olivia knew each other. She was sussing him out.

"That's right," he answered the older woman. "It was on a week day and you weren't here then. Three other girls were."

"Oh, then you must know Olivia. She brought you the menus just now."

Elliot nodded and picked up his beer to take a large gulp. He then decided that beating around the bush wouldn't get him anywhere. He was going for the direct approach.

"Yeah, I know Olivia," he told Dana. "Did she send you out here to find out why I'm back?"

Dana seemed slightly taken aback but she bouced back quickly.

"Well, she did mention that she hadn't expected to see you again. That you told her you wouldn't come back here. So what changed your mind?"

Elliot looked at his friends and then back at the older woman.

"No offence ma'am, but I think that is something I should discuss with Olivia myself."

...


	20. Preparations

**I have an extra day off work and decided to post the Friday chapter a day early again. It isn't long but there will be more on Monday!**

...

 **20\. Preparations**

It had been a little awkward to use Dana as a courier for their messsages, but Olivia had agreed to meet Elliot the next morning at the diner. She didn't want to meet him at The Saloon later, because she knew Nick would be there. Their breakup was still so fresh and she didn't want to feel uneasy about him seeing her with Elliot again. She wished Kathy could go with her though. But at least Dana would be there to keep an eye out.

Olivia had been staying in the kitchen most of the evening, but had made a few runs through the diner to get people their checks and had finally walked up to the New York group again to bring them their check. She managed a tight smile when she handed Robert the check. Elliot's friends seemed nice. She knew how important good friends were and she remembered he had told her about them. One from the Marines and one from the NYPD. She figured the rugged redhaired man with the beard would be the Marines and the blonde man would be NYPD.

Robert handed her some cash and smiled at her.

"Thank you Olivia," he said kindly. "Dinner was very good."

"You're welcome. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" she said, finally looking at Elliot.

"He'll be here at ten, miss. We'll deliver him personally," Declan chimed in and Olivia nodded, giving the Irishman a small smile.

"Okay. I'll be here too," she said, fiddling with the cash in her hands. "Do I need to bring reinforcements?"

Some of her old confidence began shining through and Elliot was relieved. It wasn't his entention to knock her off balance, although he knew he had. He would just take it as a good sign. As a sign that it really meant something to her to see him again.

"No Liv, you know you're safe with me," he said smiling, unable to hide how happy he was to see her again. "Unless you feel Nick should be there?"

He knew he was taking a chance bringing up the boyfriend and when Olivia looked down, he regretted his words. She shook her head then and glanced around their little group.

"I don't think that would be wise. But I have to go now. You know. Work."

All three men hummed in understanding and Olivia dashed off, back to the kitchen. Dana was watching them from behind the counter and Elliot looked at his friends.

"I think that went well El," Declan said. "She didn't hit you and she wants to talk. I'd say we're off to a good start."

Elliot chuckled. Why would Olivia hit him? They got up to leave and Elliot nodded at Dana when they passed the counter on their way out.

"Elliot," Dana suddenly said, and he stopped walking, turing around to face the older woman.

"Yes ma'am?"

"You know what she's been through, right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"That girl is like a daughter to me. Break her heart and I'll break your bones."

Elliot smiled and tapped his imaginary hat.

"I'll remember that."

...

So Dana knew the whole story. She'd talked to the woman about him. Which meant it must have meant more to her than she had been willing to admit. Elliot's thoughts and feelings were a jumbled mess. He kept going over every little detail. A look, a word, everything he'd assumed and hadn't dared to assume and he was driving himself nuts. He was on his third beer already since they'd settled in at their hotel and had gone to The Tavern. Robert and Declan were getting acquainted with Zeke, Dwight and Marty and they were all having a good time. Elliot was the only one who was quiet. Part of him wished he could just go to bed and sleep, so it would be morning already.

He still didn't know what he should say to her. He was surprised she was even willing to meet him, let alone without her boyfriend or Kathy. There were three of them and only one of her. Robert and Declan had already assured him that they would just help him get a conversation started, and would then leave him alone with Olivia. It wasn't like him to try and worm his way into the life of another man's woman. He kept reminding himself of Declan's words. _If she's really in love with the guy, you'll have your answer. If not, is she really someone else's girl?_

After another round, Elliot told his friends that he'd like to show them The Saloon, where he'd met Olivia. Robert agreed that the night was still young and they all got up to leave.

"Olivia huh?" Marty suddenly asked, and Elliot realized that he'd let her name slip. "You mean Simon's sister?"

The three men stopped in their tracks and turned around to face Marty.

"Yeah. I met Olivia there a while ago. I just wanna see if she's there and say hi," Elliot lied casually, and his friends immediately chimed in, nodding and humming in agreement.

He could always count on Rob and Dec to have his back, even if they didn't know why he'd tell a fib.

"Oh, well, okay. I know she's hot but maybe you don't wanna run into her while she's on the rebound."

Elliot frowned and looked at Marty, wondering what he could possibly mean. Rebound from what?

"Just sayin' man," Marty said, holding up his hands. "But then again, maybe you _do_ wanna run into her while's she's on the rebound. If you know what I'm sayin'."

He winked at Elliot and Elliot looked at his friends, who both shrugged. Marty wasn't exactly sober so who knows what he was trying to say. The three New Yorkers left The Tavern and Elliot led the way to The Saloon. When they walked in, Elliot's mind was immediately flooded with memories of Olivia. Olivia dancing with Nick, and then talking to him at the bar, and his hand on her thigh that second night.

They found a table and Elliot got them another round of beers. He glanced at the dancefloor, hoping to see a familiar face, but he didn't see Kathy or Nick. He did spot the Southern blonde. What was her name again? Amanda? She was slowdancing with a tall black guy who seemed to be totally into her. He returned to their table and sat down and they spent some time people watching and enjoying the ambiance of the country and western bar. Elliot was beginning to feel the buzz of all the beer he'd consumed and finally relaxed. Several women had already noticed the new guys and Robert had been asked to dance three times already. He kept telling the women that he was taken but in the end, he let one of them drag him to the dance floor anyway. It was just a dance after all, the lady had said.

Elliot turned his chair so he could watch his friend in action and just then, he saw Nick come in. He nudged Declan with his elbow and nodded in Nick's direction.

"Boyfriend," he said quickly.

Declan watched the young man walk up to the bar and order a beer. Elliot wondered why he'd be there alone while his girlfriend was working. Nick chatted with a few other customers and the bartender for a while and when Robert returned to the table, Elliot turned his chair back so he was sitting with his back to Nick. It wasn't really important what Nick was doing here on his own. What mattered was what he was going to say to Olivia tomorrow.

After about an hour they all decided they should try to get some sleep before 'the big day' as Declan called it. They headed back to the hotel. Elliot insisted he'd take the fold-out that had been placed in their room, so his friends could both have a normal bed. They were his guests after all. It was why he hadn't checked into his usual motel this time but in a real hotel, with breakfast and roomservice included.

He tried to get comfortable but while Robert and Declan were soon snoring away, Elliot stayed awake for quite some time. Tomorrow was indeed the big day. He practiced a little speech in his head. It would go something like,

 _Olivia, I know you are in a relationship now, but I just couldn't leave things like this between us. I told you that our time together really meant something to me and I just can't let it go that easily. You have every right to send me packing because you are with Nick now but I just had to let you know how I feel. I'd really like to know if there could be more between us and my friends convinced me to at least tell you that._

Should he mention that his friends had put him upto it? He tried again.

 _I'd really like to know if there could be more between us and it's important to me that you know that. That you know I didn't just leave and forgot all about you. Because I didn't. I can't. I could never forget you._

Was it too corny? Too mushy? She should know that he didn't just leave and forget about her. He thought about her every day. He tossed and turned, trying to come up with the perfect words to convince her to give him a chance. Would he actually have the nerve to say them out loud though? And how would she react? Why was he even here? Why had he let his friends drag him out here again?

...


	21. Seeking wisdom

**21\. Seeking wisdom**

Olivia was nervous as hell. She hadn't slept well at all and she was up way to early for a Saturday. Why was Elliot back here again? And with his best friends? He had said that he couldn't stop thinking about her. So that hadn't just been another line? It was the second time he'd come all the way out here to talk to her. She couldn't deny that it was flattering, but it also scared her. She was afraid to admit that she couldn't forget about him either.

His business card was tucked away safely in the drawer of her nightstand. She'd looked at it often but she had told herself she couldn't keep thinking about him. She was afraid to lose control over her own heart again. No way was she going to call the cop from the city. What would she say? She knew he wasn't Dean and maybe it wasn't fair to project her pain and insecurity on Elliot. That was what her head was telling her. And Kathy, of course. But she'd lost her heart to a man once before and he had shattered it. She couldn't go through that again.

Now, only a few days after she had broken up with Nick, he was here again. He couldn't have known, could he? No. She shook her head. She was pacing in front of the mirror in her bedroom and stopped to look at herself. When she looked closely, she didn't just see a nervous person. She also looked a little excited. She dreaded meeting Elliot again, but somehow, she was also looking forward to seeing him. She blew out a breath slowly. She needed some distraction. Or a few wise words. But who could she bother this early in the day? She could only think of one person.

It was crazy to be walking to the ice cream shop around nine in the morning on a Saturday in December. It had started snowing a little but the flakes melted as soon as they hit the ground. Why Rafael Barba was even keeping his shop open during the winter, she didn't know. But she was glad he was always there. He lived right above the little shop and she knew he was always up early. She suspected that he actually was a very wealthy man, probably family money, and that the ice cream shop was just a hobby. Rafael was in his early forties. He'd lived alone for as long as she'd known him, which was about ten years, and he was always up and about before 7 AM. Sure enough, he was already busy mopping the floor of the little shop when she got there.

"Hey Livia, what brings you by so early?" Rafael asked her.

She sighed and he held one hand up.

"Say no more. Come. Sit. Coffee?"

Before she could answer him, Rafael had shuffled away to make them both a cup of Cappucino. She sat down at the table she'd sat at with Elliot once and shook her head. They had only spent three days together, yet the memories of those three days seemed to be everywhere. After sipping her coffee quietly, she put her cup down and looked at the man sitting across from her. He wasn't a friend like the ones she'd hang out with, but he had been a beacon for her a few times. Someone who would listen to her without judgement and who would put things in perspective with just a few words of wisdom. And she needed wisdom today.

"Do you remember I came in here once last summer at night with a guy?" she asked Rafael.

Rafael scrunched up his nose and looked in the distance.

"You usually come in alone, or with your blonde friend. Or that young Latino that's smitten with you," he answered.

Olivia couldn't help chuckling at his description of Nick.

"This was another guy," she continued. "He's from out of town. Tall, broad shoulders. Bought me the biggest lemon ice cream and had a small vanilla himself."

"Ah, him!"

Rafael remembered now. The guy that had stared at her while she licked her ice cream.

"What about him?"

Olivia tried to explain to Rafael that she'd spent a whole weekend with this man and that he'd made her feel things she had never expected to feel again. Not after Dean. And that it had scared her. And that he was back in town and she thought he had felt something for her too.

"Had felt or still feels?" Rafael asked quietly.

Olivia sighed and leaned her elbows on the small table.

"He's driven out here from New York City twice since then to see me."

Rafael took another sip of his coffee and set it down as well.

"Still feels then. So what's the problem?"

Olivia bit her lip. What _was_ the problem?

"Livia, I may seem like the proverbial bachelor to you, never been in love, never will be, but this is not true," Rafael told her. "I have Italian blood running through my veins, and I know what passion and love feel like. And I can tell you one thing. If I had taken a chance fifteen years ago in stead of worrying about getting hurt, I would most likely not be a bachelor today."

Olivia's eyes had gone wide. She truly had had no idea. Rafael never talked about his own life with her or his other customers.

"What happened, Rafi?" she asked softly.

"Short version. I fell head over heels in love with a beautiful woman that I met while on holiday. Made the huge mistake of not chasing after her when we both went back home after spending a week together. She married someone else two years later."

Olivia really felt bad for him, and asked him,

"Why didn't you stay in touch?"

Rafael shook his head.

"She lives in another state. I figured it'd never work out. I should have at least tried though."

Olivia blew out a breath slowly. This all sounded way too familiar.

"All that I got from not trying was that I lost her forever. I could never truly love another woman again."

Olivia wanted to reassure him. To tell him that he was still young enough, that he could fall in love again. But the words got stuck in her throat. Seeing the man in front of her regretting everything that never was, was horribly confronting. If he'd only taken a chance, his life could have been so different.

She remembered Nick's words when they talked about how their relationship wasn't working, and how it might cost them their lifelong friendship if they continued they way they had over the past few months. Nick had been sad, but also very strong. He had told her,

 _"_ _Liv, if we hadn't tried, I would never have been sure. Maybe I would have wondered for the rest of my life what could have been. Now we know, right? That we weren't meant to be. I can finally put the idea behind me. I will love you forever but I can accept now that you are not in love with me, and never will be. I guess I can only thank you for giving us a try, and for helping me see me that I need to move on."_

She had cried a little but the truth of his words was comforting, too. He still loved her, like she still loved him, but friends were all they were ever going to be. She had apologized for using him but Nick would have none of it. He had used her too, hadn't he? Olivia didn't see it that way. She knew, deep down, that she had fled to Nick when Elliot had moved something inside her that she hadn't been ready to deal with. And she hadn't known if she would ever be ready to deal with it, until now. Until Rafael's confession.

Was she willing to be stuck in 'what if's' for the lest of _her_ life? What was the worst that could happen anyway? Trying, and then finding out they weren't working? It hadn't shattered her when she and Nick decided they weren't working and it hadn't shattered Nick either. He would need time to get over his feelings for her, but like he had said, at least he knew now. Wasn't that worth something?

Rafael had been watching her silently while she thought things over. There was sadness in his eyes because of the memory of losing the woman of his dreams. He had regretted not going after her for the past fifteen years and she admired him for the way he had made a life for himself anyway, while living with that regret. There was life after loss. She was living proof of that herself. She had felt broken after losing Dean and their baby but she was still here. And she was still capable of feeling, apparently. If she didn't open herself up to the possibility of loving again, she might be stuck in what if's for the rest of her life too.

"I know people learn most from their own mistakes, Livia," Rafael said softly. "But I ask you to learn from _my_ mistake this time. What's the worst that can happen?"

Olivia smiled.

"I asked myself the same thing just now, Rafi," she acknowledged.

"He's come to see you twice now so he is definitely interested. But he won't keep coming forever Livia. You are going to have to meet him halfway if you want to see where it might go."

She pursed her lips and nodded. Rafael was right. She shouldn't make his mistake. Elliot was taking a chance, coming back for her. He wanted an answer to his 'what if'. And she knew that when it came down to it, so did she.

...


	22. Starting over

**Hi all. Originally I had written a little 'speech' here in stead of this short note because of a few comments but I decided I'm not going to post it. This is all I'm going to say:  
** **First off, I don't mind _constructive_ criticism at all.  
FYI: Most of my stories are slow burns like this one with a touch of psychology. They are not mandatory reading, so you are absolutely free to ignore my musings. My chapters will be as long or as short as they turn out, because each chapter serves its own purpose. Also, I don't have as much time to write as I used to (there is this thing called real life, writing is not my job an you aren't paying me for it). ****I have now officially lost my two chapter lead on you all, so I can't even promise you two updates a week anymore. (I will try though.) How's that for going faster ;)**

 **A big thank you to all the ever-supportive readers out there. You are appreciated!**

 **Having gotten all of that off my chest, for those of you who haven't lost interest yet, enjoy the long awaited 'talk' and please don't forget to leave a review.**

...

 **22\. Starting over**

Elliot had finally fallen asleep around 2 AM but was awake again early. Declan and Robert were still in bed, stretching and yawning and not very eager to get up yet, but he had already shaven and showered. His friends were teasing him a bit, telling him he should have brought nicer clothes and that he looked like shit but he just laughed at them. He was glad they were here to distract him a little from his nerves. His little speech had evolved during the night, but he wondered if he would be able to say everthing he wanted to say once Olivia was sitting across from him at the diner.

They had breakfast in the hotel restaurant and he tried to relax when they had some coffee afterwards. It was 9.30 so they would head out in about fifteen minutes. His friends had never seen Slick Stabler quite like this but they both knew what it felt like to be in love, so they were supportive in their own, rather loud way. When they finally got up to leave, they went quiet, and just walked behind him as his personal protective detail, all the way to Dana's Diner.

Olivia wasn't there yet but Dana greeted them happily when they arrived at her diner at two minutes to ten.

"Mornin' fellas. Take a seat and I'll be with you in a sec."

Elliot chose a small table by the window, and took the seat facing the door. His friends sat down at the table right next to his. Aside from one elderly couple in the back, they were the only customers at the diner for now, and now they would have to wait for Olivia to arrive. Elliot tapped on the table nervously and Dana gave him a sympathetic smile when she brought them all coffee. He had a feeling that despite her warning the night before, Dana had his best interest at heart as well as Olivia's. He looked out the window again and his heart jumped up when he saw her walking up to the diner.

She was wearing jeans as always, and her cowboy boots, and a short, black warm winter coat with a high collar. She had her hands tucked in the pockets of her coat and kept her head down because of the snow flakes that were drifting down gently. They stayed on her brown hair for a while and Elliot was mesmerized by her. She was walking towards the door at a brisk pace and shook out her hair just before pusing the door open and stepping in.

Dana and Olivia smiled at each other and Dana gave her an encouraging wink. She looked around the diner and her eyes locked with Elliot's. Those blue eyes that made her heart skip a beat. She forced a smile and then glanced at his friends while she approached their tables.

"Goodmorning Olivia," Declan said cheerfully while all three men stood up politely. "I hope you don't mind that we're tagging along with Elliot here? We just wanna be here in for him in case you decide to break his heart."

Elliot huffed and straightened his back. He knew they wanted to help him get a relaxed conversation started but this was a bit much. Olivia had stiffened a little but then he saw a small smile form on her lips. And it reached her eyes too. He was mesmerized again. Enter Lovesick Stabler.

"That's okay guys. I'm pretty sure Elliot can take care of himself, but having loyal friends always speaks for a person so ..."

She made a welcoming gesture and then stood next to the chair opposite Elliot. She was trying to seem relaxed and at ease but he could tell she was as apprehensive as he was. He moved next to her quickly and gestured at the chair.

"Please, sit," he said. "Can I take your coat?"

She flashed another smile at him and he bit his lip while stepping behind Olivia to take her coat.

"Why thank you," she said, slipping her arms out of the coat and revealing a very soft, white sweater with a V-neck that gave him just an idea of cleavage. He quickly looked away from her chest and hung her coat over the back of her chair. He couldn't resist touching her back slightly while she sat down. She looked up at him and he moved to the other side of the table quickly to sit down as well. Dana suddenly appeared next to Olivia and set a mug of hot chocolate in front of her.

"Thank you Dana," she said softly.

At least it gave her something to do with her hands. She wrapped her cold hands around the warm mug and looked at Elliot again. He was as nervous as she was, if not more.

"So," she said, trying not to stare at him.

He looked even better than in her imagination.

"So," Elliot replied, putting his hands around his coffee cup as well.

Robert cleared his throat and Elliot gave his friend a warning glare.

"Dec, why don't we go over to the counter to take a closer look at the weekend menus," Robert suggested, and both men shuffled away quickly to have a chat with Dana at the counter.

Olivia shook her head slightly, smiling while blowing on her hot chocolate. He was glad that she seemed to be okay with being here with him. He waited until she had taken a sip before speaking again.

"Thank you for meeting me, Olivia. I can understand why this would be a little uncomfortable for you."

She looked at him again, but didn't respond to his words. She was just waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath and forged ahead.

"I know our last conversation wasn't exactly ... what I had wanted it to be so ... I guess what I'm trying to say it that I'd like to do that again, only better. If that's okay with you?"

She nodded then and bit her lip. _Adorable._

"Yeah, that was ..."

She took another breath as well.

"It ... I'm sorry Elliot. For running out on you like that. We ... well, I had no idea you were coming back or why ..."

Her voice seemed to give out on the last word and he knew it was his cue to get down to business. To tell her why he came back. She was looking down at her drink now and he spoke quickly before he'd lose his nerve.

"Olivia ... Liv ... I know I said that first time that there would be no strings and no promises, but I've regretted saying that ever since. I used some pretty stupid lines when we first met so you'd dance with me but Liv ... that's not really who I am or what I want. If anyone should be sorry it's me, for feeding you that crap in the first place."

She looked up again and he could tell his words were coming in loud and clear.

"I felt something Liv," he continued bravely. "And even knowing that you have another man in your life can't make me forget. And I tried. Believe me, I tried."

She was chewing on the inside of her cheek. Then she asked him a one-word question.

"How?"

"What?"

"How did you try to forget about me?"

He blew out a breath slowly. He didn't want to tell her that he'd started going out again and had picked up a woman. One woman in five months. It had to be a new record. A low record, that is.

"I tried to go out and find someone else, but it didn't work," he settled on. "How 'bout you?"

His heart was pounding now because he hadn't intended to ask her anything like that at all. It had just slipped out.

"Me?"

She was staring at him now, and he could see different emotions swirling around in her big brown eyes, the main one being confusion ... no, fear ... or was it guilt?

"You know what I did," she said softly and his stomach dropped.

She was right. He did know. She went to be with Nick.

"But that didn't work either."

Her hands were shaking and she put them in her lap under the table, fixing her gaze on her hot chocolate. Her heart was pounding because she hadn't intended to tell him anything like that at all. But Rafael's warning and even Nick's words kept echoing in the back of her head. She didn't want to get stuck in what if's but she was scared out of her mind right now. What had she just told him? That she couldn't forget him either? Yeah. She just told him that. She glanced at him and saw that he knew. He knew what she had just told him and a tentative grin started forming on his face. Why did he have to be so cute?

They stared at each other for several seconds, until they were both smiling, kind of. She saw his Adams apple bob twice before he finally spoke again.

"Can we start over?" he asked her.

His voice was hoarse and she thought it was so sweet. She was beginning to feel tingly all over and it reminded her of their date at the lake. He'd made her feel so special then. So worthy of being loved. Love was maybe too big a word right now, but in all fairness, she would like to start over with Elliot.

"How?" she asked him softly.

His smile became wider and her heart started melting a bit.

"Let's forget the last time I was here, okay? That conversation never happened."

She nodded eagerly. She'd been such a bitch. She absolutely wanted to forget that.

"And if you want, we can forget the first time too."

He sounded a little less sure of himself while making that suggestion and she looked at him hesitantly. She cherished those memories, even if she had tried not to.

"Or we can build on that," he added after a beat.

She sucked her lower lip between her teeth again and it did something to his body. He didn't want to forget their first weekend together and her eyes had just told him she didn't want that either. Declan had been right. She wasn't really someone else's girl. At all. But Nick was a factor to take into consideration.

"Or do you think that would be unfair to Nick?"

He had to ask. There was no way around Nick. She shook her head slowly.

"No Elliot. Me and Nick broke up a few days ago."

He felt like a huge weight was being lifted from him and couldn't hide the immense relief he was feeling. He knew he should be sympathetic now but he couldn't bring himself to telling her he was sorry about the breakup. He was relieved when she spoke again.

"You were right."

Their eyes locked and it was as if they were having a wordless conversation through their eyes. He had been right about her and Nick. She wasn't in love with him. He'd been her safe choice because she'd been afraid to take the risk of getting involved with a stranger. He saw a different emotion floating to the surface in her eyes now. A promise of something new. She was still afraid but she was opening the door. Just a crack maybe, but it was all he could ask for.

Elliot realized that he hadn't used any of the words he'd memorized during the night at all. Their conversation had just happened naturally. And it couldn't have turned out better. He put his hand on the small table between them, his palm up, and looked at the beauty in front of him.

"Hi, I'm Elliot. Nice to meet you."

Olivia put her small hand in his hand and he wrapped his fingers around it.

"Hi, I'm Olivia. It's nice to meet you too."

...


	23. It's a Date

**Here is your Monday chapter a day early, to thank all my lovely reviewers for your continued support. You know who you are. You're the best!**

...

 **23\. It's a Date**

 _He put his hand on the small table between them, his palm up, and looked at the beauty in front of him._

" _Hi, I'm Elliot. Nice to meet you."_

 _Olivia put her small hand in his hand and he wrapped his fingers around it._

" _Hi, I'm Olivia. It's nice to meet you too."_

...

Robert and Declan seemed to take their clasped hands as a sign that it was safe to approach. They returned to their table and both looked at their friend and his girl. Was she his girl now? Elliot was still holding her hand, reluctant to let go. It felt as if life was flowing back into him, from her hand into his, and then throughout his body. She tilted her head and looked at him, her demeanor relaxed now. There was amusement in her eyes.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friends now?" she asked. "Since we're starting over and all."

Elliot quickly pulled himself together and let go of her hand at last. He stood up and Olivia followed suit.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet Olivia Benson. Olivia, this is Robert Dumas and that's Declan Murphy. My two best friends."

Olivia shook hands with both men and smiled warmly.

"It's nice to meet you. Why don't we all sit down and have another drink?"

They did, and Dana exchanged a knowing look with Olivia when she brought their drinks over. Olivia was still a little nervous but her relief outweighed her nerves at the moment. Seeing Elliot again was eye-opening. She hadn't expected it to feel so right to be talking to him again. But now that they were here, with his friends, she felt calmer than she had in a long time. She smiled to herself, thinking about what Kathy would tell her. Her friend seemed certain that she and Elliot were a match made in heaven. She'd never said that about Dean, although she hadn't had anything against the doctor while they were dating. Until the very end, that is. Olivia bit her lip and willed herself not to think about that right now. She looked at Elliot again, and how his blue eyes lit up each time they met her browns. He was a good guy. He was. He had to be.

Elliot was glad that they all managed to relax and chat for a bit. His friends asked Olivia about her job and she asked them about theirs. After a while, Elliot asked Olivia if she had any plans the rest of the day, because he really hoped she would want to spend more time with him now that they were starting over. He saw a smile in her eyes and he was almost certain he could read the playful question in those brown orbs, if he wanted to take more of her time yet again. He nodded almost imperceptibly and Olivia's smile widened.

"Yeah," he answered her unasked question. "But forget all those other lines, okay?"

Her cheeks turned a cute shade of pink and Elliot wiped the corners of his mouth with his hand to stop himself from grinning too widely.

"What did you have in mind, cowboy?" he heard her ask softly and he finally managed to recompose himself.

"Whatever you want Liv."

"It's your town," Declan chimed in, "so we're counting on you to show us around."

Olivia smiled and looked out the window. Elliot he knew she must be thinking it was too cold for any outdoor activities.

"We have a new bowling alley," she said, looking at him again. "Do you all bowl?"

...

Elliot thought he'd have to make an effort to let Olivia win a few rounds, but after just a few turns, he knew he'd better make an effort to keep up with her. She had a very strong arm and a determined swing, easily knocking over at least a few pins every time. His romantic thoughts of standing close behind her, teaching her how to hold and throw the ball, were out the window. But congratulating her on a spare or a strike was just as good. Maybe better. After they had both overcome their initial shyness, they clapped both hands together above their heads at first, and once Elliot started feeling a little slick again, he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up to congratulate her. Olivia laughed out loud, turning his heart to mush once again, and he loved to see her like this. So relaxed, just like she'd been their first weekend together.

Olivia had to admit she was really having fun. She hadn't been to the new bowling alley before, since it had just re-opened a few weeks earlier under new ownership. She was experienced at the game though, and enjoyed showing off how good she really was. Elliot was being a little cautious around her, but once they all got into the game, seriously trying to beat each other, he relaxed some more. When he lifted her up spontaneously to congratulate her with a strike, a shiver shot up her spine and she had to resist the urge to kiss his neck when he pulled her close. She'd never been shy about physical contact but this was _Elliot_. She still wasn't sure if she really wanted to take a chance with him, but she definitely didn't want to screw things up before finding out what she wanted.

After a few rounds, they all sat down at a small table in the bar area, looking out over the lanes. They had all played well except Robert, who assured them he had plenty of other talents. When both Elliot and Olivia started questioning him about his other talents, he just showed them a picture of Pippa on his phone.

"Ask this lovely lady," he said proudly. "She knows everything about me."

Olivia took the phone from his hand and looked at the picture of Roberts' fiancée.

"She's a lawyer in family court," he told Olivia proudly, and she looked at him more attentively.

"Beautiful _and_ smart," Olivia said. "What does she do in family court exactly, Rob?"

Robert began telling proudly how Pippa often helped families in custody cases or when domestic violence or substance abuse was an issue, to make sure the children wouldn't suffer anymore because of their parents' problems, and got a chance to work on their own. While it was often heartbreaking to have to take children away from their parents, Pippa always fought for what was best for the children. Sometimes that would be foster care until the parents worked on their problems or sometimes until they got a divorce. She also arranged supervised visits for parents who were in prison.

Elliot watched Olivia as she took all of the information in. She was genuinely interested and kept asking Robert more questions about Pippa's work and the foster system in New York.

"You know what," Robert said after a while, "you should come to New York some time and you can ask Pippa all the questions you want. Maybe you can tag along with her for a day, 'cause I can tell this really interests you."

Olivia glanced at Elliot before looking at Robert again.

"Yeah. Yeah, it does," she said and Elliot thought he should rescue her from having to respond to Robert's suggestion of coming to New York. He put a hand on her arm and winked at her when she looked at him.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, okay Rob? Don't overwhelm Olivia even before I know where I stand with her."

Olivia grinned at that and he was glad they could joke around a little without feeling uncomfortable. He asked if they all wanted another drink and Olivia suggested ordering some food as well. It was almost 1.30 PM and they hadn't had lunch yet.

"Great idea," Declan said. He was always in the mood to eat.

They all walked up to the counter together to place an order and Elliot made sure he was standing next to Olivia. She was squinting a little to see what was chalked on the board behind the counter and he moved closer to her to point out the assorted snacks on the menu to her. Olivia leaned into him a little and, feeling bold, he put his arm around her waist loosely while they studied the list of snacks together. He felt his stomach flutter when Olivia returned the gesture and he pulled her a little closer to him. When he looked at her, she smiled warmly at him and he had a very strong urge to kiss her right then and there. He resisted though and when he saw one corner of her mouth tug up, he knew she'd read his mind.

He reminded himself that despite their one night of passion last summer, right now they were just finding a way to see what they could be to each other. He knew what he wanted, but he shouldn't try to rush her. After all, he was leaving _again_ in two days. He cringed internally. How were they ever going to make this work long-distance? They would both have to make an effort. He was willing to do all he could but Olivia would have to step up too. Would she be willing to do that?

Olivia had raised an eyebrow and he realized he'd been staring at her while he'd been deep in thought. He made a funny face and when she laughed he pulled her close to him and kissed her temple spontaneously. Olivia didn't bat an eye and just asked him if he was ready to order yet. Robert and Declan were already waiting for their snacks and Elliot quickly ordered for himself and Olivia as well. His friends moved away, walking back to their table once their order was ready, leaving the couple on their own for a bit.

His arm was still around her waist and it felt strangely familiar, as if it was exactly where it belonged. Olivia felt a lot better now that they had cleared the air. She wasn't sure what to expect and was feeling a little insecure. Having Elliot's friends there helped her relax though, and hearing about Pippa's job had really interested her. There was so much pain in the world, and she'd like to do more to help other people.

She thought it had to do with her mother. She'd seen up close what a crushed soul looked like and no matter how young she'd been, she had always felt that there had to be a way to get people back on their feet. After a rape, an assault or when they'd grown up in an unsafe environment. She had become a volunteer at the hospital to cheer up the patients and run errands for them, and sometimes for the doctors and nurses. She'd met a lot of elderly and she'd met mental patients. And victims of abuse too. It made her happy to be able to spend time with them so they'd have some good times too in their difficult lives. To make a difference in their world.

Elliot's job was about making a difference too. He was going after the bad guys. Pippa was making sure that the ones who'd gotten hurt at home, went to a place where they could heal. There was so much going on that she knew nothing about, and the idea of coming to New York actually appealed to her. And it had nothing to do with the handsome stranger next to her, of course. She grinned at herself, knowing full well that it had a lot to do with her cowboy, but then she frowned. How were they ever going to be 'a thing' long-distance?

"Here we go," Elliot said, releasing her to reach for the tray with their snacks and drinks, and she tried to shake off the question.

Right now, they were here, together, and she wanted to enjoy it without worrying too much. They walked back to Robert and Declan, and she focused on their animated conversation. She liked both men a lot already. If it was true that you are the company you keep, and Olivia thought it was definitely true to an extent, Elliot really was a good guy.

…

After a while, Olivia announced that she should be going, because she had some house work to do while Sharon was away, and she'd promised Kathy she'd join her for dinner at the hospital.

"Is Kathy working all weekend?" Elliot asked.

"No, she has another late shift tonight, and then she'll be off tomorrow."

"So maybe we'll see her before we leave on Monday?"

Olivia smirked.

"Hmm. What's this? Buttering up to me to get to my best friend?"

Elliot laughed out loud and shook his head.

"You know better Liv," he said with a wink and she felt her stomach flutter at the gesture. "I just had a nice chat with her a while back and I'd like to catch up."

"I know El, don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure she'll be at the Saloon tomorrow night."

"And you?"

"I'll be there too, of course."

"And tonight?"

Elliot knew he was pushing a little but he really wanted to see her again that evening. Her eyes told him she understood.

"What about tonight?" she asked innocently, and both Declan and Robert chuckled.

Elliot grinned again and just went for it.

"You wanna meet us there tonight Liv?"

Olivia stood up, indicating that she really had to go.

"Sure," she said, grabbing her coat. "It's a date."

...

 **Please leave your thoughts in the box below if you want, or shoot me a PM.**


	24. Any Man of Mine

**I felt like posting an update on a random weekday, plus I couldn't find a suitable cut-off point for quite a while, so here's a longer chapter for all of you. Enjoy!**

...

 **24\. Any Man of Mine**

Kathy was tired after working a few extra shifts but was still jumping in her seat when Olivia told her about her talk with Elliot. They had texted back and forth for a while the night before after Olivia's shift at the diner, so she knew her cowboy was back again. She'd been dying to hear how their meeting went.

"He must have been so happy to hear that you're no longer with Nick," Kathy said excitedly and Olivia gave her a sad smile.

Nick was still a good friend and they both only wanted the best for him. Knowing that she wasn't what was best for him after all, didn't make it much easier for him, or her. They had yet to find their groove as friends again.

"Do you think I should tell him that Elliot's back? You know, so he won't be blindsided when he sees us together?"

Kathy agreed that it would be wise to give Nick a heads up.

"You know he can get pretty protective when it comes to you, Liv."

She knew that. He'd always been her protector in school and afterwards, and he wouldn't let any boy get too close to her, unless she told him that she really liked them. And even then he would never be far away, ready to jump in if they tried something with her that she didn't want. He'd learned to keep his distance when she had started dating but she knew he'd always keep looking out for her.

Dean had basically pulled her away from her friends and her regular hangouts, and had taken her to _his_ favorite places in stead. Kathy and Nick never got a proper read on Dean, and in retrospect she knew why he'd tried to keep her away from her real friends.

"You know, he's looking forward to seeing you again too," Olivia offered when she realized that Elliot wasn't showing any signs of trying to change her routine.

Kathy smiled.

"The feeling is mutual. I really believe this could be the one for you Liv."

Olivia rolled her eyes and sighed.

"So you've told me a hundred times Kath. Just … just let us figure it out, okay?"

Kathy held her hands up and assured her,

"Trust me, I'm not going to get in the way. I'm going to let nature take its course, and at the end of the line I'll just tell you I told you so."

Olivia grinned and Kathy checked the clock. Her dinner break was almost over.

"Listen honey, I'm off duty at midnight and will probably be unconscious for ten hours after I get home. Wanna do brunch at my place tomorrow around eleven? If you're going out with him tonight, I will need you to tell me _everything_."

…

Elliot didn't want to seem too desperate. Part of him just wanted to go to the Saloon early so he wouldn't miss one minute of having Olivia near him. His friends had both agreed that Olivia wasn't only beautiful but also a lovely person, but that didn't stop them from teasing him incessantly about his crush on her. He knew they were kidding and the fact alone that they had dragged him back here, spoke volumes about how much they wanted him to conquer the love of his life. Because they all believed that's what Olivia was. This wasn't an ordinary crush on a pretty girl. Part of her had already embedded itself inside his soul, as Declan had put it quite eloquently. They had told him that they would be fine together, and if he needed some alone time with Olivia, he shouldn't worry about them. It was why they were here, after all. Still, he managed to hold off on hurrying over to the Saloon early, and they hung out at the Tavern for a while first. They were going to be fashionably late and totally 'chill' when they would finally arrive.

Elliot didn't exactly feel totally chill when they made their way to the Saloon at last, except maybe from the cold night air. The snow wasn't letting up and wasn't melting anymore once it hit the streets. The warm air inside the Saloon was a stark contrast to the cold air outside, and they quickly took off their coats to hang them away on the coat racks near the entrance. Elliot scanned the room immediately and he froze when he saw Olivia standing at the bar. She looked great in her tight jeans, white boots, white top and denim jacket but that wasn't why he'd frozen. She was standing there with Nick.

Olivia was standing on her right leg, her left boot resting on the foot rail of the bar. Her left knee was touching Nick's leg and his left hand was on her right hip. He was leaning in and kissed her cheek. Olivia was all smiles and Elliot didn't know what he was feeling. There was something bubbling inside him that made him want to get in Nick's face and make sure the man never got close to Olivia again. But another part wondered why she was with him in the first place. Maybe they hadn't made a clean break. Maybe she still had feelings for her friend, who had been her lover for months. It made him insecure, again.

Olivia finally noticed them and her eyes lit up when she saw him, but once she noticed his tense stare, her smile faded. She gave Nick an apologetic smile and walked up to the three friends. Elliot kept his eyes trained on Nick's face but Nick just watched Olivia walk away, ignoring Elliot and his friends while giving Olivia's butt an appreciative look before turning around to order another beer.

"Hey, you're here," Olivia said and he knew she was trying to sound casual but failing. The slight tremor in her voice betrayed her, revealing how tense she was despite her smile.

"Yeah. Doesn't look like you missed me though," Elliot blurted out, and Olivia's smiled faded again.

Elliot felt one of his friends punch him in the shoulder before they both moved away from them to order a round of drinks.

"What are you having, love?" Declan asked while passing Olivia, and she quickly told him the name of her regular vodka cocktail.

"Comin' right up."

Declan gave Elliot a warning glare before walking off with Robert, silently conveying to his friend to let the girl explain before jumping to conclusions. Once his friends were out of earshot, Olivia placed her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow.

"Anything you wanna say to me, cowboy?" she asked him without batting an eye.

He knew he shouldn't attack her but he hadn't been prepared for his own jealous reaction. It looked like Olivia didn't appreciate his attitude though. He was taken aback by her direct question and shot back right away.

"I would think that would be my line, Liv."

She sighed and looked over her shoulder at the bar, where Nick was still standing.

"Seriously Elliot?" Olivia asked, turning back to face him, and he could feel that she was holding back, reigning in her temper. There was a storm brewing in her big brown eyes though, and the tension between them was palpable. This wasn't how he wanted their unofficial date to start off. Not at all. He took a deep breath and forced himself to focus on Olivia, on the woman of his dreams. He didn't want a fight. He wanted to have a good time and to get to know her better, and allow her to get to know him better. This hadn't been the part of him he'd planned on showing her first. Jealous ass Stabler.

"Alright," he said, doing some reigning in himself. "I'm sorry, I just hadn't expected to see you with Nick … ehm … like that. You two _are_ over, aren't you?"

Olivia let out a deep sigh and hung her head.

"Elliot …"

She couldn't believe how awkwardly their evening was starting off. She'd gotten to the Saloon rather late and had been relieved to see that Elliot wasn't there yet. The whole purpose of talking to Nick was to keep the level of awkwardness to a minimum tonight. She'd told him that Elliot was back and that she really liked him. She'd asked Nick to give her some space, and made sure he knew she wasn't out to hurt him. She wanted to see what this cowboy was all about, since he'd come back for her again. Nick wasn't exactly jumping for joy, but he did want her to be happy and had accepted that they were best together as just friends. He'd told her he would keep his distance, but he would never stop looking out for her. He'd kissed her on the cheek then, telling her to have a good time and thanking her for the heads up.

And that had been the exact moment Elliot had walked in. Could she really blame him for not liking it? She was supposed to be with him tonight, not her ex boyfriend. Elliot was biting the inside of his cheek, waiting for her to tell him something. She could tell that he was making an effort to reign in his temper and she hoped it wouldn't become an issue. She had quite a temper herself and the intensity radiating off Elliot was a challenge.

"El, I just went to talk to him before you got here to let him know you were coming, and to ask him not to … interfere, okay?"

Elliot was baffled. Of all the things she could have told him to explain why she'd been so cosy with her ex, this was the last thing he'd expected her to say.

"Really?" he managed to say and Olivia smiled shyly again.

"Yeah, really. I'm supposed to hang with you tonight, right?"

He could breathe again and shook his hands, a habit he'd developed during his time in the Marines to shake out residual anger or tension that hadn't been released by punching something or someone or yelling at them. Olivia looked at his hands and reached for them, slipping her slender hands in his.

"Right," Elliot nodded, stepping a little closer to her.

Maybe he should explain to her that he was scared to death to lose her now that she was within his reach, but it might be too soon for declarations like that. He did want to make sure she knew he was fine now, and that they were good, so he decided to give her a quick peck on the cheek.

"So let's do that," he said near her ear, and he swore he could feel her trembling a little. "Let's hang together."

Olivia smiled up at him and released his hands. Elliot's friends had meanwhile found a table and were calling them to come on over and join them, so they moved to sit with them for a while.

…

Nick wasn't hovering, but Elliot was aware of the man's presence the whole time. He tried to ignore it but he couldn't ignore the jealousy he was feeling. That man had been with Olivia for months. He'd touched her. Made love to her. Woken up with her. All the things he'd dreamed about while he was in New York. Olivia seemed completely unfazed though, and was chatting happily with the guys. When a song she loved started to play, Olivia grabbed his arm and said excitedly,

"Oh El, this is one of my favorite songs. Dance with me?"

He wasn't going to pass up the chance to hold Olivia close to him and they both got up and made their way to the dancefloor. Olivia was moving to the slow beat of the first verse already as they walked, and waved at Nick when they passed him. Elliot told himself it shouldn't bother him. She was dragging _him_ to the dancefloor, not Nick. The other dancers made room for Olivia in the middle of the modest dancefloor. They obviously knew what was coming, unlike Elliot, who didn't really know the song or the dance that went with it. He did remember seeing Olivia dance to it with Nick and another guy that very first time he spotted her right there, on that same dancefloor. The song was Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain and everyone was stomping their boots to the beat when they joined in. Olivia knew the song by heart and her eyes were shining, fixed on his when she started singing along with the rather daring lyrics. Just when he wanted to move closer to her, the beat changed, the chorus being much more up tempo than the verses.

Olivia was having fun and he loved to watch her body move to the beat while he maintained a kind of laid back sway from one foot to the other. As soon as the second verse started, everyone started clapping along with the slow beat. Olivia was just turning away from him and he took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist from behind and pull her against his chest. She laughed and went along with it, placing her hands over his and swaying with him to the beat of the song. The song was basically a list of demands any man would have to meet to be with her, and she kept singing along while looking at him over her shoulder.

" _Well any man of mine better disagree when I say another woman's lookin' better than me. And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black, he better say, mmm, I like it like that."_

Elliot nuzzled his nose behind her ear and told her softly, "I can do that."

" _And if I change my mind a million times,_ _I want to hear him say yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it that way."_

She wanted to be accepted exactly the way she was and he had no trouble with that at all. He didn't let go of her when the upbeat chorus started up again and Olivia laughed out loud, throwing her head back and his heart skipped a beat once again. It was just like their first time dancing together, only it wasn't. There was a promise of more in the air, a future maybe and it made him bolder than before. More people were joining the line in front of Olivia and behind him, and when the chorus repeated, Olivia indicated she wanted him to let go of her. Before he had time to be disappointed, she turned around to face him and took his hands in hers. They were still dancing close together but she stepped back for what appeared to be the finale of the song, complete with dancing instructions from Shania herself.

She performed all the steps perfectly and several other people danced along with her. Olivia was clearly the leader of the small group and he loved to see her so confident. When the song started to fade out, Olivia held up both hands and yelled "Again!"

The ones who weren't dancing, like Elliot, clapped and stomped along with the beat while the dancing group all repeated the dance steps from the song, all chanting Shania's instructions.

" _You gotta shimmy shake, make the earth quake. Kick, turn, stomp, stomp, then you jump._ _Heel to toe, do-si-do, 'til your boots want to break, 'til your feet and your back ache. Keep it movin' 'til you just can't take anymore. Come on everybody on the floor. A-one two, a-three four. Hup two, hup!"_

Everyone applauded when they were finished, and a new song started. It was a slow song and Elliot made an inviting gesture to Olivia. She smiled and moved into his arms willingly, slinging one arm around his waist and the other loosely around his shoulder.

"That song is cathartic you know," she told him. "Helped me to get a lot out of my system after all the drama in my life."

"I can imagine," Elliot said with a grin.

The lyrics didn't leave much to the imagination. It basically said, take it or leave it, I'm not going to change for any man. She had probably tried to change too much for that loser of a doctor.  
They danced slowly and Elliot was in awe of the woman in his arms, again. He wouldn't change a single thing about her. He really wanted to kiss her but he didn't know if she'd appreciate that here, in plain view of Nick and a lot of other people who knew them. Her cheek was pressed against his and she didn't seem to care who saw them together. She really was at ease in this place, completely herself like the song had said. They were dancing to a sad song at the moment and Elliot caressed her back, hoping she'd never be as sad as this song again. When her hold on him tightened, he wondered if she was thinking the same thing. She was taking a deep breath and he tried to look at her face, but she turned it away from him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Liv," he said softly, "what's wrong?"

She really didn't want to look at him right now. He'd think she was being silly. The sad words of the song they were dancing to had made her think about Dean. It was one of those songs about someone who couldn't stop loving the one who walked away. She hadn't cried over Dean for so long that it took her by surprise. But right here, in Elliot's arms, it had hit her again. And he knew something was off with her. He was asking her what was wrong. How could she tell him? She didn't even know herself why that pain would come back now, while she was with him. It didn't make sense. If anything, she should be relieved to find more and more how Elliot was nothing like Dean. Maybe his presence in her life was cathartic as well. Maybe all that sadness would finally leave her life if she'd just let it out, to be replaced with something new. But how could Elliot have that effect on her? They hardly knew each other. He wouldn't understand what she was feeling right now. His next words moved her deeply and she tried to suppress a sob when she heard him say softly,

"I've got you Liv. No matter what, okay? It's okay."

He held her close and she tried to blink away her tears. She wasn't going to cry on a date. This had never happened with Nick and it wasn't going to happen now. She was just a little overly-emotional right now, after the roller coaster of the past few days, breaking up with Nick and then seeing Elliot again. But Elliot seemed to know just what to say and do, as if he already knew what she was thinking. She turned her head to hide her face in the crook of his neck and he rubbed her cheek with his own. When the song ended, he just held on to her, waiting for her to be ready to be seen again. When she stood up straight after a few long moments, she wasn't sure how convincing her smile was. Elliot just put both hands on her cheeks and kissed her softly on the lips.

"It's okay Liv," he said again, and somehow that was enough.

She smiled more genuinely now and nodded. She didn't need to explain and he didn't need to say anything else. It was enough for now. _He_ was enough.

...

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	25. Nothing to Lose

**25\. Nothing to Lose**

Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia's waist when they left the dancefloor. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but he did know he'd made the right choice, comforting her. He'd been worried a little about the immediate threat of Nick hanging around, but he realized there was another threat that wasn't so visible, and a lot more difficult to fend off. Olivia's bad experience with that doctor. The sad lyrics of the song had struck him, and apparently her as well. He couldn't fathom how much it would have to hurt to have someone walk out of your life that you truly loved. Once they reached Robert and Declan at their table, Olivia had pulled herself together, and was her carefree self again. Or what had to pass for her carefree self. Elliot was beginning to see the cracks a little and as happy as he was to get a glimpse of the real Olivia, it hit him again how badly she'd been hurt. Would all her insecurities come back full force once he had to leave again in two days? He couldn't even think of the possibility that she'd fall into the arms of another guy once he was gone again.

His attention was drawn to the conversation at the table when he realized that Declan was questioning Olivia about him.

"So you think our Elliot here is a keeper?" he heard his friend ask.

Olivia was sitting across from Declan while Elliot was sitting across from Robert at the small square table. She grinned and glanced at him before answering the question with a question of her own.

"Well, you've known him a lot longer, so why don't you tell me if he's a keeper?"

"Smooth," Robert said, bobbing his head and looking at Declan to see what he'd say to support their friend.

"I will be honest with you here," Declan started, and Elliot gave him a warning glare.

"No, don't worry El. You know I could never embarrass you in front of a lady."

That made all three men laugh out loud and Olivia figured he'd embarrassed Elliot on more than one occasion. Declan really had a way with words at times, and sometimes his wisdom would be shared at the expense of one of his friends. But it was always in good fun. She'd already determined that these three men would be loyal to each other at all times.

"All joking aside, Olivia," Declan continued. "Our Elliot is a solid guy, but frankly, I feel like he's been wavering a little lately. Like he's found out that there is something lacking in his life."

Robert mumbled""hear hear" to support Declan's claim but Elliot looked a little panicked. Olivia thought it was kind of endearing. No doubt, Delcan was going to point out that she was the thing that was missing from Elliot's life, hoping to get her to give him a real chance. She was already past that stage though. She wanted to give him a real chance. There was no denying her own attraction to him, or his to her. She just didn't know how they could make it work long distance.

"Oh no," she said, playing along with Declan's little game. "What could that be?"

"Oh-livia, can you not see?" Declan said solemnly, and Olivia winked at Elliot to reassure him that it was all good.

"No, tell me Declan. Please share your wisdom with me."

Declan laughed then and poked Elliot with an elbow.

"She's good," he said and Olivia smiled warmly at Elliot.

His heart rate had doubled by now and he wasn't sure he liked the way Declan was pushing Olivia. She seemed to be enjoying it though, and her warm smile made him relax a little. He took another gulp of beer while Declan continued his act of the concerned friend.

"Ah, Olivia," Declan said dramatically. "Maybe you should just speak with our friend here privately, and ask him how you could help to make his life complete."

Elliot almost choked on his beer and Olivia put a comforting hand on his arm.

"Please relax Elliot," she said, a playful smile on her lips. "Maybe your friend here is right. Maybe we should go somewhere where we can be alone so we can discuss your problem."

His stomach lurched at the thought and he was suddenly very grateful to Declan. He wanted to get away from Nick Amaro's prying eyes anyway and this was just perfect. If she'd meant it, that is. But Olivia was already standing up, and the men stood with her.

"Are you sure?" Elliot asked, and he scolded himself mentally for sounding like an insecure schoolboy.

Olivia glanced in the direction of the bar and nodded.

"Yep. Absolutely."

Maybe she wanted to get away from Nick's watchful eye as well. His friends assured him they would be fine and to please go and have fun. They went to get their coats and Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulders when they left the Saloon together. He had done it again. He was leaving with the most beautiful woman in there again! The night was still young and it was too cold and slippery for a casual walk, so he asked Olivia where they were going.

"Somewhere warm I hope?" he added.

"Well," Olivia said pensively, "we could find a quieter place to sit and have a drink ..."

"Or?" Elliot asked, sensing she was considering another option.

"Ehm ... I do have the house to myself this weekend."

Elliot's stomach clenched again. She was actually inviting him to her home?

"I mean, well, I don't mean ..."

Now it was Elliot's turn to reassure her.

"It's okay Liv, I get it. Whatever you're comfortable with. You know you're safe with me, right?"

She smiled and looked at him while they continued to walk towards Main Street.

"Yes, I do."

...

They walked most of the way in silence, arm in arm, commenting on how slippery and cold it was a few times and giggling when one of them indeed slipped because of the snow. When they arrived at Olivia's home, she got a little nervous. She hadn't meant to imply anything other than it would be a place to be alone to talk, not to do anything drastic with Elliot. Well, not right away anyway. A small smile played on her lips when she opened the door and they shuffled inside. She kicked off her boots and Elliot followed her example. After hanging their coats on the rack, they made their way into the living room. Olivia switched on one small lamp on a side table and gestured at the couch.

"Make yourself comfortable El. You want a beer?"

"Sure."

Olivia got a beer for him and a soda for herself, and sat down next to Elliot on the couch. She reached for a remote that was lying on the table and pressed one of the buttons. Immediately, a fire lit up in the fireplace, giving the dimly lit room a soft glow.

"That's nice," Elliot said. "Instant fire."

"It's fake," Olivia admitted, "not like the campfires you make."

She blushed immediately, and Elliot gathered she hadn't meant to bring up what they had done by the campfire last summer. He willed himself not to get too caught up in that particular memory and tapped her knee gently.

"Relax Liv. We're starting over, remember? I'm not going to jump you right away because of last summer, okay?"

She smiled, looking into the fake flames.

"Okay."

She was quiet for a beat and then turned to face him, pulling one leg up underneath her and resting her elbow on the backrest of the couch.

"So tell me Elliot. Now that we've started over, where are we headed?"

That was the big question indeed. He knew where he wanted things to go with her, but there were practical issues to consider, the main one being how far apart they lived. How honest could he be with her so early on in their tentative relationship? He was actually relieved when she added another question.

"Are we dating now? Or just hooking up?"

"Dating. Definitely dating Liv," he answered without having to think about it. "I'm done with the whole casual thing. It was never what I really wanted and I know it's not what you want either."

"How do you know that?" Olivia asked, a little surprised.

"I know you want the real deal. I just know that, in here," he said, tapping his chest with a fist. "I guess that's why I ... I'm ... so drawn to you."

It was too early to talk about love, he reminded himself. Olivia nodded slowly and sucked her lower lip between her teeth. Elliot swallowed hard and had to look away. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, and he was staring into the fake flames when he heard her say softly,

"You're right. I do want the real deal. But I'm scared."

He had figured as much and he was surprised that she was admitting it so openly. He sat up straight and look at her.

"Of me?" he asked.

"No."

She shook her head and smiled, moving the hand that had been resting on the backrest of the couch to his shoulder. He leaned back against the backrest, enjoying her touch.

"No. Never of you."

His breath hitched at her words, and at the warm glow in her brown eyes.

"So what's the problem?" he asked her, his voice a little hoarse.

The look in her eyes changed again and he wanted that warm look back.

"You mean geography?" he guessed. "That shouldn't even be a factor, should it?" _When two people love each other_ , he added in his mind.

Olivia shrugged lightly.

"It's something to take into consideration."

"A wise man once told me, the only way to lose is to give up," Elliot told her.

"Let me guess, Declan?" Olivia said with a smirk.

They both chuckled and Elliot was glad things weren't getting tense between them now that they were alone and actually talking about _them_.

"A wise man asked me once, what's the worst that can happen?" Olivia said, moving her hand from his shoulder to his neck.

Elliot put his beer down on the coffee table and turned to face Olivia.

"And what was your answer?" he asked her, scooting a little closer to her.

"I didn't answer him right away," Olivia said softly, running her fingers through the short hair in his neck.

"What's your answer now?" Elliot said, moving his arm alongside hers to put his hand on her shoulder.

"Worst thing, it doesn't work out."

She scooted closer to him as well and he ran his hand through her hair. It looked like she was growing it out a bit and he liked it a lot. Olivia closed her eyes and leaned her head into his touch.

"So we have nothing to lose then," he said softly, almost whispering.

They moved simultaneously then, and her soft "no" bounced off his lips just before they closed over hers.

...

 **A/N: To be continued on Monday. Your reviews are always appreciated and motivate me to write!**


	26. Twenty Questions

**26\. Twenty Questions**

He had wanted to kiss her all day and feeling her lips against his was even better than he'd imagined or remembered. They were soft and strong, giving and taking and the soft sigh she let out when he sucked her lower lip between his own, shot straight to his groin. He hadn't come here to have sex with her and he was determined to go slow this time, although he knew his body wouldn't mind at all if they took things further. But getting Olivia to give them a real shot was worth more to him than taking her to bed once more.

They kissed languidly for a while, and Olivia draped her body against his while his mouth and tongue devoured hers. She could hardly breathe. She'd wanted to kiss him as soon as they left the Saloon and kissing Elliot was overwhelming. One of his hands was tangled in her hair and the other one was drifting across her back and then over her ass. She wanted to be even closer to him. She had promised herself she wouldn't try to seduce him but the smell of his body, the taste of his lips and mouth, and the feeling of his muscular chest pressed against hers made her wonder if she'd be able to hold back if he would try to take things further. It wouldn't be their first time, after all.

When Elliot pulled her into his lap so she was straddling him, she wrapped both arms around his neck and kissed him more fiercely. Memories of their first weekend together flooded her brain and when Elliot broke off the kiss to move his lips to her neck and collarbone, she moaned softly, rocking her body against his while closing her eyes. She just couldn't help herself. She arched her back when his hand moved from her waist up until his thumb brushed the side of her left breast. Her breath hitched and her eyes flew open. They were going too fast. This wasn't really her and she needed to stay in control.

Elliot sensed the change in her body and looked up at her. He saw a hint of uncertainty in her eyes and dropped his hands to her waist, pushing her away from his chest a little to look at her more attentively.

"What Liv?" he asked her. "Was this too much?"

She quickly shook her head to let him know he'd done nothing wrong.

"No El. No … I just … I didn't think we'd move so fast. I'm sorry, I ..."

"Sssh," Elliot shushed her right away. "No apologies Liv. This wasn't just you, believe me."

He grinned up at her and she smiled then, relieved that he wasn't disappointed or upset that she'd stopped. She remembered a few times when Dean had gotten annoyed when she had apparently led him on and didn't see it through. All she'd wanted was to kiss and cuddle, but she'd given in to his needs then, thinking it wasn't fair to get him all worked up without giving him his release.

Elliot moved her off his lap and then wrapped his arms around her sideways. He kissed her temple softly and mumbled against her skin,

"I'm just so happy you're willing to give me a chance. It's all I need right now."

Olivia rested her head against his shoulder and bit her lip to keep her chin from trembling. He was too sweet. It would be difficult to go slow with him. He made her feel safe in a way no one ever had before and she didn't want to let go of that.

She tried not to think about the fact that he would be leaving two days from now. She wanted to enjoy their time together and suggested asking each other some questions to get to know each other better. Elliot joked that he'd need his beer for a round of twenty questions, and Olivia gave him some room to release her and grab his beer. While he drank from the bottle, she decided on her first question. She knew a few things about his parents and that he had a sister, but she was curious what kind of kid Elliot had been.

"What were you like as a child? What would your sister tell me if I asked her that?"

Elliot smiled and leaned back against the couch, his shoulder brushing Olivia's.

"Maureen? We love each other to death but we're always brutally honest with each other as well. But I believe those two things should always go together, don't you?"

His blue eyes seemed to be probing her browns for confirmation that she felt the same way. Honesty was crucial in a relationship. Olivia nodded.

"Yeah, I do El. But you haven't answered the question yet."

He smiled and seemed to accept that she wanted to steer the conversation away from heavy topics for the moment. She laughed when he started rubbing his chin, pondering her question.

"What would Maureen tell you about me as a kid? Well, first of all, she'd tell you about the time I punched a hole in her little inflatable swimming pool when she was just three, because I wanted to see how long it would take before all the water was gone, and where it would go."

Olivia laughed out loud and told him that wasn't very nice.

"Inquisitive minds want to know, Liv," he said as seriously as he could manage. "Besides, I was only six myself. How was I supposed to know that I had just ruined her entire life?"

"Oh, a little drama queen?" Olivia chuckled.

Elliot grinned and took another sip from his beer bottle, which was almost empty.

"You want another one?" Olivia asked immediately.

"No no, I'm fine," he was quick to say. "Now can I ask you a question?"

Olivia didn't think he'd really answered her first question yet but she liked his little anecdote so she told him it was his turn.

"Okay, let me think. Has it always been just you and your mom?"

The instant he'd asked the question, Elliot knew he'd managed to broach a touchy subject yet again. Olivia brushed over it pretty quickly though.

"Yep. No men in my mom's life, it was just us girls. My turn."

He decided to let it slide and they had fun asking each other silly questions. He loved to see her relax more and more. He avoided asking her about her father, and Olivia understood quickly that the topic of his father was sensitive as well.

Joseph Stabler had been an older father. He'd met Bernadette when he was in his late thirties and her youth and carefree spirit had made him fall head over heels in love with her. He didn't find out until later that she wasn't just carefree but bipolar, and could sink into deep, monthlong depressions at times. He had tried to care and provide for his family to the best of his abilities, but when he was kicked out of the NYPD at age fifty with no pension, because he wouldn't rat out his fellow cops, he had become bitter. His life hadn't turned out like he had thought at all. Not on the job and not at home. And he'd taken out his bitterness on his son, who had been nine years old at the time he got fired. He would never lay a hand on a woman and Elliot had been happy to be his mother and sister's shield, but his father's abuse, both physical and mental, had been tough on him. Joseph would say he wanted to teach him how to be a man instead of a cry baby, but even at such a young age, Elliot had known that using physical strength to get a point across didn't equal being a real man. He was not going to become such a man. He'd managed to break free at age eighteen and hadn't spoken to his father for the full four years of his tour with the Marines. Once he joined the NYPD, following in his father's footsteps after all, they had spoken a few times. Joseph's health had been deteriorating and at age 68 he died from a heart attack.

How his father and her mother had died, was something they did share with each other. Olivia thought it was sad that it had been such a relief for the Stabler family when Joseph died, while she had wondered for years who her father was. Elliot hadn't asked about her father and she appreciated how much he respected her privacy. When he learned that Serena had died because she had hit her head falling down drunk in the streets, she could tell that he had questions on his mind about the how and why of her mother's drinking. When he didn't ask her about it, she decided that maybe she should tell him why her mother had become an alcoholic, and had never had any men in her life after Olivia was conceived.

"El, about her being drunk …" she started.

Elliot looked at her and all she could see was kindness in his eyes. No judgement at all.

"You don't have to tell me everything, Liv," he assured her. "Just what you really want to."

His left arm was draped behind her on the backrest of the couch and her head was resting against it. She looked up at the ceiling when she said,

"I want to tell you this."

"Okay."

"My mom ... she was raped."

Elliot swallowed hard. She was the daughter of a rape victim.

"And then she had me."

His chest tightened. She wasn't just the daughter of a victim, but also of a rapist. He'd seen it before. Women who chose to keep their rapist's baby but couldn't deal with it after the child was born. These children usually ended up in foster care and were adopted eventually. But Olivia's mom had kept her and had raised the child herself.

"That's why she drank," Olivia said softly, and he pulled her against him gently.

"I'm so sorry," he told her and he meant it.

He'd seen enough on the job to realize that knowing where she came from would have had a huge impact on both women. He was amazed at how great Olivia had turned out. She was a beautiful, happy, uninhibited woman with a big, caring heart.

"Your mother must have been a very strong woman."

Olivia frowned and looked at him. She knew her mother had tried to raise her well, but she had always seen her drinking as a sign of weakness.

"I've seen a lot on the job, Liv. You may think she was weak because she drank, but most women wouldn't have been able to raise their child themselves in that situation. They wouldn't have wanted to."

"Because the child is a constant reminder of … what happened to them," Olivia said softly.

Elliot leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek.

"I'm sure she loved you very much, Liv. How could she not?"

Her eyes widened a little and he wondered if he should have mentioned the L-word. But he was talking about her mother, right? Not about himself. Well, not directly. Olivia looked away from him again and bit her lip.

"I think keeping me prevented her from healing."

"That was her choice, Liv. She didn't want to give you up."

"So she drank instead," Olivia said sadly. "She wasn't really a good mother, you know. She neglected me a lot and I think I started doing all the cooking and cleaning when I was about ten. Maybe she should have given me up for adoption. She could have started over with a nice man and had the family she always wanted."

Elliot raised his right hand to caress her cheek and used his forefinger to turn her face towards his.

"Well, I for one am glad she kept you. Otherwise, we might never have met."

The sadness about her mother's pain, and her own because of it, was momentarily forgotten and Olivia turned towards the new man in her life to kiss him. She hadn't planned on sharing so much with him tonight but he just seemed to have that effect on her. She wanted to be open and honest with him right from the start. Was she actually hoping and thinking that this could be the start of something real?

...

It wasn't easy to say goodnight. They had had fun together, had shared some of their pain with each other and had been making out for a while when Olivia had untangled herself from him for a much needed bathroom break. Elliot scrubbed his hands down his face. Their evening had been perfect. In fact, the whole day had been perfect. He couldn't screw it up now. He did want to make plans for the next day, but after that, he should leave. Let her know he was really serious about her and wasn't just out to have sex. When she came back into the living room, he stood up. She cocked an eyebrow and walked up to him until they were almost nose to nose.

"Where are you going?" she asked him.

He grinned because of how freely she was acting with him now. They had come along way in just two days already.

"I should be getting back to the hotel," he told her, not moving away from her even the slightest bit. "But I'd like to see you again tomorrow."

"I'd like that too," she replied, moving even closer to him so her lips were brushing against his.

Elliot groaned softly and Olivia chuckled.

"You like having power over me, don't you?" he said and his low voice made her body clench in several places.

She shouldn't tease him too much, but somehow she thought he'd take it a lot better than Dean used to do. She didn't want to keep comparing Elliot to Dean Porter but Dean was still an important part of her recent past. And as long as Elliot was coming out the winner in the comparison …

Her thoughts were cut off when Elliot's lips were suddenly firmly pressed against hers and his arms wrapped around her waist. She opened her mouth to grant him access while wrapping her arms around his neck, and moaned softly when he deepened their kiss. He hadn't been dominating like this before but she liked it a lot. If he wasn't holding her so tightly, her knees might have buckled at the intensity of his kiss. When they broke apart she gasped softly and looked up into his bright blue eyes. The passion she saw in them took her back to their campfire and she had to look away. She leaned her forehead against his chest and blew out a breath slowly.

"What time tomorrow?" Elliot asked and she closed her eyes.

She shouldn't ask him to stay but she wanted to. God, she wanted to.

"Tea at three at Dana's?" she asked him, still not looking at him. "I'm having brunch with Kathy at eleven so …"

If he was disappointed that she was meeting him so late, he wasn't showing it. He just kissed the top of her head and told her he'd be at the diner at three.

...

 **A/N: Now, who will be my 300th reviewer?**


	27. Together

**Announcement : if you don't see another update for a while after this one, that means I am off line for a bit.  
We have just sold our house and we are moving in August, so I will be very busy with that for several weeks. It does not mean I have forgotten about my stories, and I will come back to them as soon as I can! Maybe I will manage to write another chapter between packing and unpacking, but maybe I won't, so I just wanted to give you all a heads up. Meanwhile, enjoy chapter 27 of this story. It is kind of a filler chapter, but I promise there will be more and things will move along a little faster once I update again.**

...

 **27\. Together**

Robert and Declan were just getting ready to go to bed when Elliot walked into their hotel room around 1.30 AM.

"Hey, we weren't sure you were coming back at all, El," Robert told him as he came out of the bathroom, dressed in nothing but a towel.

"Oh, he means _he_ wasn't, Elliot," Declan chimed in, and Elliot looked at the Marine who was sitting on his bed dressed in a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants.

"I told him, Elliot is really serious about this girl. He isn't trying to get inside her pants. He wants to get inside her heart."

Elliot bobbed his head. Declan was right.

"Well, why not do both," Robert said, tossing his towel on the floor and stepping into a brightly colored boxer short.

The other men stared at him and he shrugged after pulling the short up.

"Hey, it was a Christmas gift from Pippa. I have to wear it."

He sat on his bed as well and looked at Elliot expectantly.

"So?"

Elliot grinned, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, and Declan nodded.

"I knew it. You seeing her again tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow at three."

"Why so late?" Robert asked. "Does she need a break from your ass already?"

"She has plans tomorrow morning," Elliot said with a frown at Robert's comment, "and I thought you two would like it if I spent some time with you as well. Go sightseeing a bit maybe?"

His friends agreed that they would like to see more of the town before they'd be heading back to New York, and they all turned in. Just when Elliot tried to relax in bed, thinking he could be alone with his thoughts for a while, Robert said,

"I still think you can get inside her heart and her pants at the same time."

Declan chuckled and Elliot just told Robert to shut up. He wasn't going to go into those kinds of details with his friends. Not this time. Olivia mattered too much to him to reduce their relationship to just a physical thing. She had shared so much with him tonight, that it would have been totally inappropriate to take her to bed right away. He didn't expect her to sleep with him this weekend. All he wanted was to know she was his girl now. The rest could wait.

...

Olivia had tried to sleep in a bit, but once she'd woken up on Sunday morning around seven thirty to use the bathroom, her brain had kicked into gear and there was no stopping it. She was lying in bed but she knew she wouldn't sleep now.

Kathy would be so surprised that she'd told Elliot about her mom's rape. He had been so understanding and she reminded herself that he dealt with rape victims and their families all the time. It was comforting to know he wasn't grossed out about the idea at all that she'd been the result of a rape. They hadn't talked about her father in detail and she made a mental note that she should tell him he hadn't been a career rapist, so to speak. He'd been a good father to Simon and she was glad her brother could share some good memories of him with her. Elliot should know that too.

She asked herself why it mattered to her that Elliot know these things. Deep down, she knew. He really mattered to her. He was worming his way into her heart and he wasn't even trying very hard. Well, maybe he was, but it wasn't uncomfortable. He was just being himself and encouraged her to be herself as well.

Her thoughts jumped to Dean again. Looking back, he _had_ tried to change her a little. She pushed those thoughts aside quickly. No need to dwell on that anymore. She sat up and pushed the comforter aside to get up. She wouldn't sleep anymore anyway and took her time showering and getting ready for the day. She had a few crackers and a cup of tea, not wanting to spoil her appetite before her brunch with Kathy. She was glad her friend had a few days off now. Kathy was one of the people who kept her grounded and even though she knew she would be gloating all day, she valued Kathy's opinion more than anyone else's.

…

Kathy's door flew open even before she'd walked up the driveway, and her friend hugged her when she reached her on the threshold. They held each other tight and Olivia knew that Kathy wasn't just going to gloat. She was genuinely happy for her that Elliot had come back and that she was giving him a chance.

"So. Are you going to New York with him?" Kathy asked once they were seated at her modest breakfast table.

"What?" Olivia gasped. "No! I mean … We haven't talked about that, or anything like that."

"Hm."

Kathy seemed annoyed, as if it was just something so logical that it didn't even need discussing.

"Kath, I'm not going to change my entire life around a guy after a few dates."

Kathy shook her head and sighed, taking a bit out of a scone.

"Right. As if this thing with Elliot isn't something totally different than a guy and a few dates."

Olivia rolled her eyes and poured them both some orange juice. She wasn't fooling Kathy, they just knew each other too well. Her friend knew that she was actually 'kind of getting serious' about this man.

"But what if he turns out to be some kind of creep, with a secret double life or something? How can I ever be sure he's on the level?" Olivia tried again.

Kathy looked at her very seriously.

"Honey, you can't keep doubting your own judgement forever because you made a mistake once. It's okay to be a little less trusting than you were before, but don't go overboard with the doom scenarios, okay? You can't live your life like that."

Olivia nodded. Kathy was right, as usual.

"Plus, you've met his best friends, right?" Kathy added.

Olivia smiled. Robert and Declan really were great guys and she'd seen the trust between the three men. Part of her envied them, because they had known Elliot for years while she was only just getting to know him.

"And he's met me, so he knows you're the best too," her friend added, making her laugh out loud.

"Come with me this afternoon, Kathy," she said but Kathy shook her head.

"Uh uh, no way. It's _your_ date Olivia. You can handle yourself. But I'll go to the Saloon with you tonight, or wherever you guys are going, as long as Elliot's friends are there too."

...

Elliot had given Robert and Declan a tour of the town, showing them all the places he'd hung out over the past few years, as well as the bookstore where he'd gotten all his information for his perfect date with Olivia last summer. They had lunch at 'his' Italian restaurant and he even pointed out Barba's ice cream shop to them. After lunch, they ended up at the Tavern again, where they hung around until it was time for Elliot to head over to Dana's.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her waiting for him already. Dana was sitting with her and they were talking quietly. Elliot lingered a little outside to watch them. Olivia was wearing jeans and a warm light blue sweater, and somehow she could just wear anything and always look classy. He could tell that both women were very fond of each other. He remembered that Dana had told him Olivia was like a daughter to her. The way they were sitting together now, they could easily be mother and daughter, and it warmed his heart to know Olivia did have a mother-figure in her life after all, who had been only good to her. It explained why she had come out of a troubled home as such a well-balanced, strong person. She had a support system around her, that had helped her find her way when her mother couldn't. He suddenly realized that Dana was looking straight at him, a smirk on her face, and he went inside quickly. No doubt, Dana was telling Olivia that he'd been staring at them, but he didn't care. She already knew he was in love with her. Didn't she? Well, she knew he was interested in her. It was why he'd come back after all. He made a mental note to tell her he was in love with her before he'd have to go back to New York. She should know, before he left.

Olivia smiled when he approached her table, and Dana stood up, making room for him. He nodded at the older woman and then hugged Olivia. He could hug her in front of Dana, right? Olivia surprised him by giving him a quick peck on the lips and he grinned shyly at her.

"Come sit," Olivia told him, and he took off his coat, hung it over the back of the chair and sat down across from her.

"Tea?" Dana asked, winking at Olivia.

"Yes please, Dana," Olivia answered for both of them, but she suddenly looked at him a little hesitantly. "You did want tea, right Elliot?"

"Sure," Elliot said, not quite getting why she seemed uneasy. "Whatever you want Liv. As long as I can spend time with you."

Olivia bit her lip and blushed a little, and Dana just gave him a wide smile.

"Comin' right up, cowboy. And I'll bring you the cake and muffin menu too."

…

They chatted a little, catching up on their morning activities and Elliot saw Olivia relax while they spoke. He wondered why she got so jumpy from time to time, worrying if she'd said or done something wrong. When they had first met, she hadn't struck him as insecure at all. Far from it. He wondered if he could simply ask her about it, but he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

When he asked her for a bite of her blueberry muffin, she laughed and held it out to him, so he could take a bite.

"I have you eating out of my hand already," she joked and he grinned at her.

"You sure do, Liv," he told her. "You have total control over me."

She looked down at her tea and she suddenly seemed shy again. He had made the remark to let her know there was no reason to be insecure around him but he wondered why she got that way in the first place. He thought it was pretty obvious that he was totally enthralled with her. Maybe he needed to make it clearer, so he added,

"You do know that, don't you?"

She smiled at him then, and for the first time he noticed that she made an effort to give him her beautiful smile. It wasn't fake, but he saw her almost consciously 'decide' to smile at him.

"You don't," he blurted out as soon as he realized it. "Really Liv? You still don't know that you have me in the palm of your hand?"

He could see the confusion in her eyes and he knew she was trying to come up with a smart reply. He reached forward quickly and put a finger on her lips.

"Don't," he said softly. "Don't brush it off. I'm serious."

She bit her lip then and he retracted his hand quickly. She seemed to think over what he'd said and then gave him a small smile.

"Okay," she said softly and somehow he knew it meant a lot that she just said okay instead of hitting him with a witty comeback line.

"Okay," he said as well. "That's settled then. Where do you want to go after we finish our tea?"

…

She wanted to go to Barba's. Rafael gave her a wide smile when she came in with her cowboy from the city. She introduced both men properly this time, and she enjoyed watching them interact. Elliot was hesitant at first, but once he'd ascertained that Rafael's enthusiasm about him and Olivia was genuine, he warmed up to the older man. It was nice to watch Elliot become acquainted with her life and her friends and Olivia tried not to think too much about tomorrow. He was leaving town, but he wasn't leaving her. He'd come all the way out here just for her. Twice. And she still heard Rafael's words echoing in her head. After having a small ice cream, Olivia asked Elliot where he wanted to go next. He told her it didn't matter to him at all, as long as he could be with her. Rafael winked at her and she decided not to try and overthink things too much. They had this one day left, and they should make the most of it. They ended up at Elliot's favorite Italian restaurant for some cappuccino to warm up. When the owner remarked that it was his second visit of the day, she looked at Elliot's face to see if she could find any hint of a guilty conscience there. But he just smiled at her and told her he'd had lunch there earlier with Robert and Declan. She believed him and wanted to kick herself for being so suspicious. He really didn't deserve that. He'd been nothing but honest with her right from the start.

They continued their game of twenty questions over their hot beverages, covering their years in highschool this time, and after a while, Elliot asked if she would stay to have dinner with him. It felt so right to be with him like this and their afternoon together flowed into the evening so naturally that she was amazed to find that it was past nine already when they finally finished their dessert.

"I should go home and get changed," Olivia told Elliot. "I promised Kathy she could meet up with us tonight at the Saloon."

"Yeah, I should check on the guys too. So we'll meet you there?"

Olivia gave him another beautiful smile and he could tell it was a real one this time. They walked outside together, and he offered to walk her home. It took some time for him to let it go, but Olivia insisted she was fine and she'd get home on her own. He kissed her and when she leaned into him, prolonging the kiss, he wished he could just take her with him the next morning. If he didn't even want to split up for an hour, how was he going to cope with several weeks, or even longer before he'd see her again?

...

 **To be continued ...**


	28. The Real Deal

**I managed to write one more! Enjoy!**

...

 **28\. The Real Deal**

Elliot and his friends had been at the Saloon for about twenty minutes when he saw Kathy and Olivia coming in. He was slightly relieved that Nick wasn't there tonight. It was his last night in town and he wanted to enjoy it without feeling like he was being chaperoned. The women walked over to where the men were sitting and introductions were made. Elliot got everyone a drink and when he came back, his friends were already asking Kathy all kinds of embarrassing questions about Olivia. He knew it was what they did when they accepted someone, and he winked at Olivia when she glanced at him. He hoped she would understand that his friends' teasing was because they really liked her.

He made sure to tell her when he finally had a few moments alone with her on the dancefloor but she laughed and told him she knew.

"You have great friends, Elliot. I hear that the company a man keeps says a lot about him."

Elliot pulled her a little closer, swaying in time with the slow song they were dancing on.

"So what does it say about me? What have you found out about me so far?" he asked her softly.

Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder and he could feel her relax into him.

"I think that a guy with friends like those two, has to be a good guy."

Elliot rubbed his cheek against her forehead before placing a soft kiss there.

"I am Liv. Trust me."

She was trying. She really wanted to trust him but she dreaded the moment he would have to leave. Suddenly, the idea of going to New York with him didn't sound as ridiculous as when Kathy had first suggested it. But he hadn't asked her to come. Yet. She pushed the restless thoughts out of her head and decided once again that she should enjoy this last night with Elliot.

When a more upbeat song started and Elliot began leading her away from the dancefloor and back to their table, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along in the opposite direction instead. Elliot's eyebrows shot up in surprise but he followed her willingly to a quiet area behind the dancefloor. A few couples were making out back there and Elliot caught on quickly. He grinned when she pushed him up against the wall, and when she crashed her mouth over his, he responded immediately.

She drank in the feeling of his muscular body against hers, the taste of his lips and tongue and the way he held her and caressed her while they kissed. No man had ever made her feel like this by just kissing her. She had known when he kissed her behind the waterfall. They had an undeniable connection. When Elliot turned them around and pushed her against the wall instead, she didn't even mind. She knew she was safe and he would never hurt her. Even if he dragged her outside and to his hotelroom, she would still know she was absolutely safe with him. He wouldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to do. And she knew she wouldn't resist. She wanted it all with him. She was falling very hard for him.

When they finally broke apart, Elliot could see that Olivia was surrendering to him. It was up to him now to make sure she didn't do something she'd regret. He placed his hands next to her head against the wall and leaned in to ask her softly,

"Are you okay? I mean, is this all okay?"

She snaked her arms around his waist and pulled him closer, until the proof of his arousal pressed up against her body.

"Yeah," she said with a smile, "this is all okay."

"I don't wanna rush things," he told her, ignoring how his body was screaming at him to take things further. "I want the real deal, Liv."

She was silent then, and he pulled back a little to look at her. She blinked quickly and he wondered if she'd gotten emotional. She flashed another smile though, and placed a hand against his cheek, turning him to mush once again.

"I want that too, El. But right now, I just want to be alone with you."

…

They left the Saloon after checking in with their friends. Olivia felt a little guilty for leaving Kathy behind but her friend assured her it was fine. She just smiled at her and told her to have fun. Once they were outside, Elliot took her hand in his and they walked for a while. He hadn't asked her where she wanted to go, and she had just assumed they were going to his hotelroom. But right now, they were walking in the opposite direction. She glanced at her handsome companion, wondering what exactly 'the real deal' entailed for him. She had kind of expected him to want to have sex tonight but Elliot seemed to be deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" she finally asked him.

He sighed and admitted,

"I don't want to leave tomorrow."

She sighed as well and looked down at their feet while they walked. They were moving completely in sync and she liked it. But there was a sadness looming because he had to leave again.

"I wish I could go with you."

She had said the words out loud before she realized it, and her eyes widened in shock. She looked at Elliot, who had stopped walking and was looking at her with a big smile on his face.

"Could you?" he asked her hopefully, and her shock gave way to a different feeling.

Panic.

"No," she said quickly. "No, I can't. Not on such short notice."

"Okay, so when?"

She blew out a breath slowly and started walking again. After leaving the Saloon, they had strolled to Lake street and they were now heading towards the lake. The snow had melted again and the streets were clean enough for a longer walk now. The moon was even peeking through the clouds from time to time so it wasn't too dark to be at the lake.

"You really want me to come to New York?" Olivia asked after a minute.

Elliot laughed. Was that even a question?

"Of course I do, Liv. I want to show you my life, and show you off to my friends and co-workers. I want this to work, Liv. I'll come out here as often as I can, but if you could come over too from time to time, that would be even better."

Olivia was struggling. She wanted to believe every word Elliot was saying to her. He'd make the long drive for her again if he had to. But hadn't things with Dean started off exactly the same way? He had treated her like a princess, going along with all her wishes, for a while. But after a few weeks, that had changed. Actually, it had changed after she had started sleeping with him. He had become more demanding. By then, she had been willing to do anything for him. She didn't want to lose herself like that to a man again but she felt the same reflexes kick in when she was with Elliot. She wanted to please him. Keep him happy so he wouldn't leave her. But Elliot _was_ going to leave again. Not like Dean had left, breaking off all contact, but he was going back to New York and she wouldn't see him for a long time. After tonight, she'd be alone again. She would still have her friends and her life like before, but she knew that she'd feel alone as soon as Elliot had left.

And that was what had terrified her all along. Not feeling whole without someone else. It gave him power over her, whether he wanted that power or not. She shouldn't need someone else this much, and certainly not someone she hardly knew. Running after him to New York wasn't the answer. She should be able to stand on her own and not become dependent on another person again. That was why her feelings were all over the place, ranging from feeling safe to sad, from to desire to panic and fear, and back to feeling safe whenever he touched her.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they walked in silence for a while, until they reached the lake. He seemed to understand that she wasn't going to set a date for a trip to the Big Apple right now. They stopped and Elliot pulled her close to him, wrapping both arms around her shoulders. Olivia put her hands on his waist and leaned against his chest, looking out over the partially frozen lake. She wanted to enjoy these moments with him, but all she could think about was how he was going to be gone tomorrow.

"What are you thinking?" Elliot asked her, his lips brushing her cheek while he spoke.

She forced a smile and avoided looking at him directly.

"Nothing."

"Bull."

"What?"

She looked up at him, a little shocked.

"Hey, if we're going to be a thing, I'm gonna be honest with you and call you on your bullshit, Olivia," Elliot told her, and she could tell he was serious.

It was new for her. Nobody ever talked to her like that, except Kathy.

"So tell me. I know it's not nothing, because I could feel you tense up just now. Are you freaking out because you're actually feeling something between us? Does that scare you _that_ much?"

Olivia was torn. Part of her wanted to step back and put some distance between them. To shield herself from him. From feeling him. From having feelings for him. But another part wanted to stay exactly where she was and not ever be away from him again. She stayed in his arms and thought maybe it was best to just answer his question. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yes. It scares me that much."

Elliot groaned softly and dropped his forehead on her shoulder.

"What can I do?" he asked her, not looking up at her.

"Nothing," she whispered. "It's me. I … I guess that as soon as there are feelings, I feel like I _do_ have something to lose."

Elliot held her a little tighter.

"Not just you, Liv. Me too."

Olivia rested her head against his.

"Doesn't that scare you El? Like you could lose a piece of yourself along the way?"

He lifted his head slowly and she did the same so they could look at each other. While they were being completely honest, he was going to be as well.

"The only thing that scares the shit out of me is if you give up on us before we've even tried to make this work."

He could tell that his words were coming in loud and clear but he wasn't finished.

"I know you were hurt, badly. But that wasn't me Liv. I'm not that guy and I can't prove that to you unless you give me a chance."

He had spoken from his heart and hoped he wasn't scaring her away. She was moving away from him, turning towards the lake and they stood side by side, not touching, while he gave her some time to digest what he'd said. He worried that she was going to rethink continuing dating him after all once he'd left. Couldn't she see that these feelings were a good thing? That it meant that they truly meant something to each other?

"I know I have to leave tomorrow but we are going to stay in touch now, right?" he said after a minute. "We can talk on the phone until we see each other again. It's not like there will be complete radio silence for three months like before."

"I know," Olivia whispered, but he wasn't convinced that she was convinced yet that things would work out between them.

"You're right," she said then and she looked at him. "You're not him. In fact, you're nothing like him." _Please don't be like him!_ "I thought I loved him but the more I think about it ... the more I see that he never loved me. He only loved himself."

Her chin trembled and Elliot put a hand on her back tentatively. She tried to smile but she couldn't stop a tear from sliding down her cheek.

"He's an idiot for ever letting you go," he rasped and she knew he meant it.

He really wasn't like that. He couldn't' be. Elliot wiped away her tear gently and kissed the corner of the eye it had come from.

"I know I have to go back to New York, but I'm not letting you go, Liv. Not until you tell me to take a hike. I'm in for the long haul."

He wasn't sure if he was coming on too strong now, but he felt that she should know where he stood before he had to go. Olivia blinked a few times and looked at him then.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked him softly. "Maybe you'll grow tired of me after a while."

"Never."

"How do you know? How do we ever really know that about anyone?"

Elliot put his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him so she was facing him. This was the moment of truth.

"Olivia Benson, I can't explain it, but I know. This is it. You're it for me. I just know it. I …"

He took a deep breath and when he saw fresh tears brimming in her eyes, he knew he had to say it.

"I love you."

...

 **A/N This really was the last one before my move. Please review!**


	29. Spending the Night

**I'm back! So without further ado, here is a new chapter!**

...

 **29\. Spending the night**

 _Elliot put his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him so she was facing him. This was the moment of truth._

 _"Olivia Benson, I can't explain it, but I know. This is it. You're it for me. I just know it. I …"_

 _He took a deep breath and when he saw fresh tears brimming in her eyes, he knew he had to say it._

 _"I love you."_

…

Olivia froze. She felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs and she couldn't speak. She just stared at the man in front of her, registering in slow motion that the sincerity in his eyes was slowly giving way to panic. She should say something. Do something. He _loved_ her? He loved _her_?

"Say something, please," she heard him whisper and the fear that he'd said something wrong was evident in his voice.

His hands were still on her shoulders but he was moving to let go of her. She didn't want him to let go of her. Her heart was pounding in her chest but she knew this was not the time to bolt. If she wanted an answer to all the 'what ifs' that had been on her mind ever since Elliot's second visit to town, she couldn't bolt. Before Elliot could drop his hands from her shoulders completely, she took a step towards him. A rather big step, because she collided with his solid chest, bringing them nose to nose. She couldn't help giggling nervously because of the odd move and felt a chill shoot up her spine when Elliot's arms dropped from her shoulders and wrapped around her waist. She looked into his eyes and saw that his panic had been replaced by something very warm and inviting.

"Did you hear what I said?" he asked her softly and the chill was replaced by the warmest, tingliest feeling she'd ever had, despite the winter cold.

"Yes," she said, her voice soft but steady.

"And?"

She rubbed her nose against his and smiled. She knew he wasn't asking her to say those words back to him. She didn't know how, but somehow they were so tuned in to each other that she knew. He was asking her if she was willing to take a chance to see where they would end up together. He loved her. She couldn't really fathom it, but she did believe that he was in love with her. And she owed it to him, and herself, to take a chance. To see how they could build something together long-distance.

"Okay."

Elliot took a deep breath. So far so good. She hadn't run off or yelled at him or anything. He had opened himself up for rejection but she was still here, moving closer to him. He wrapped his arms tighter around her waist and pulled her in.

"Okay what?" he asked, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I'll ask Dana for some time off soon, so I can visit you in New York."

Her arms were around his neck now and Elliot laughed while he lifted her up from the ground and turned them around before leaning in to kiss her softly.

"Thank you," he whispered against her lips and Olivia chuckled.

"You make it sound like I'm doing you a favor," she said, a smile in her voice and on her lips.

He grinned and kissed her again.

"Don't think I'm always this submissive Liv," he told her between kisses, and illustrating his words by squeezing her ass with both hands.

Olivia pushed her hips into his, saying,

"I wouldn't have it any other way, cowboy."

She kissed his neck softly, her entire body pressed into his. Elliot knew she was practically inviting him to take things further and he was utterly relieved that his declaration of love had been received so well. And he really, _really_ did want to make love to her again. And this time, it wouldn't be just one night. There was a promise of much more in the air, and it made him stop and think about what they were doing. He wanted a real relationship with Olivia, not one that was just based on sex. He knew they would be incredible every single time they were together but he wanted more than that. He wanted to build a deeper connection with her than just a physical one.

Olivia picked up on his hesitation and looked into his eyes. She bit her lip when she realized why he was hesitating, and it moved her. He was not expecting to sleep with her tonight. It really wasn't about that for him. Every since he'd met her, his visits to town hadn't been about casual hookups anymore, but only about her. He was already proving to her that he was serious about her, and that he was not like Dean. It made her want him even more. She wasn't going to beg for it though. That wasn't Olivia Benson. She could tease him a little however, to let him know he had options. But if he was serious about taking things slow, she wanted that too. She pushed any further comparison with Dean out of her head before it could materialize. She'd been the one taking things slow then, forcing him to court her before getting any. Seeing a _man_ actually hold back was completely new for her. And it was very attractive.

They made out a little at the lake and talked softly about what they were going to do when she came to New York. It wasn't until they were both shivering from the cold, that they finally decided to head back, their arms wrapped firmly around each other. Elliot didn't want to say goodnight to her but he was determined to take things slow this time. To prove to Olivia how serious he was about her. Once they got back to Main Street, they had a decision to make.

"Which way?" Olivia asked him, a smile playing on her lips and a look in her brown eyes that was daring him.

She was leaving it up to him where they were going, and based on that decision, how far they were going to go. He still didn't want to part for the night and hesitated, again. Olivia moved close to him, into his arms and rested her cheek against his shoulder, her lips brushing his neck while she spoke.

"What do you want, cowboy?"

Elliot chuckled nervously.

"You know what I'd want right now, Liv," he told her while caressing her lower back with both hands. "But I want to do this right. I just ..."

"What?" she asked softly when he stopped talking abruptly, caressing his back in return.

"I just ... don't know how to say goodnight."

"You don't have to."

"Liv ..."

"No," she said, lifting her head to look at him, and placing a finger against his lips quickly to stop his objections.

"I mean, we can stay together tonight just to be together. You know, actually getting some sleep an all."

Her smile was warm and irresistable and her offer extremely tempting. He did want to cuddle up with her and hold her in his arms all night. He just didn't know if he'd be able to control himself. It was as if Olivia was reading his mind.

"I'll wear my ugliest nightgown, El."

She grinned at her own joke and it helped him relax a little. The prospect of spending the entire night with her was making him very happy and when he nodded ever so slightly, Olivia clapped her hands and jumped up and down twice, as if she'd won a contest. Elliot raised an eyebrow and she shoved him playfully.

"Alright, I admit it. I don't know how to say goodnight either," she said, looping her arm through his and tugging him along in the direction of her home. "And since you won't sleep with me, I figured the next best thing would be to ... actually _sleep_ together."

"It's not that I won't," Elliot muttered softly, wondering what had happened to Elliot 'Slick' Stabler and who had taken his place.

Why was he trying to resist nature again? He looked at the beautiful woman on his arm and saw her glowing face. Her nose and cheeks were red from the cold but her eyes were bright and happy. He really did love her and that was why he wanted to go slow, he reminded himself. There was no room for error this time. Once he was back in New York, she should never be able to have even the most fleeting thought that maybe he was using her. He nodded at his own thoughts and decided that he could to this. He could abstain from sex for a while if that meant Olivia would spend the rest of her life with him.

They walked at a brisk pace to Olivia's home and her stomach fluttered when she opened the front door to let them in. She had never taken the few flings she'd had home with her, always preferring the guy's place, so she could leave at any time. Dean and Nick had been in her home, of course, but Elliot was one of the very few men she was allowing into her home and now her bedroom. It felt a little strange but once they were on the couch together with a drink, she managed to relax again. They listened to music together, discussing which artists they liked. Elliot was more into Rhythm and Blues than the country music Olivia liked, and they talked about their favorite songs and what they liked about the music and the lyrics. Olivia dug up an R&B CD she'd gotten for her birthday from a friend and they danced to a few songs in the middle of the living room. They stayed up for hours, dancing, talking and laughing, until they were both yawning. It was 2.30 AM when Elliot asked tentatively,

"Shouldn't we turn in? You have to be at work early tomorrow, right?"

Olivia nodded. She started her shift at 8, while Elliot and his friends wouldn't be leaving until around 10.

"We'll swing by the diner to say goodbye," Elliot offered, guessing that she wished she didn't have to go in so early for work.

Olivia nodded again and got up from the couch.

"Yeah. So let's go upstairs."

Elliot suppressed a smile when he looked at her and got up as well. They put away their glasses and switched off the lights before heading upstairs to Olivia's room. Elliot wasn't surprised to see it was a very modest room, decorated in various shades of cream. She had a huge King size bed that almost filled the entire room, and he raised an eyebrow when he saw it. Olivia grinned and told him she had inherited it from her mother, who had always needed a lot of space around her.

"I don't need so much space but a big man like you won't mind the big bed, right?" she asked him with a wink.

Olivia let him use the bathroom first while she dug through her closet to find decent pajamas to wear. She settled on white flanel pajama pants and a black oversized t-shirt that she couldn't remember buying. She had just changed when Elliot came back into the bedroom, barefoot but still in his shirt and jeans.

"What do you wear at night?" she asked him.

"Nothing," Elliot said with a sly smile. "I always sleep naked."

Olivia looked away and tried to get the image of a naked Elliot out of her head quickly.

"But I'll make an exception for you, Liv. You got another one of those big shirts? What is it? A high school football shirt?"

Olivia looked down and suddenly remembered where she'd gotten the shirt. It had been a gift from one of the members of the football team. She had been a cheerleader at the time, and this player had had a crush on her all year when he'd given her his shirt after the finals. All he'd gotten in return was a kiss, but the boy had been in heaven.

"I only have this one," she admitted. "But I'll go check Simon's closet for something that'll fit you."

She doubted Elliot's broad chest and shoulders would fit in anything Simon usually wore, but she hoped he'd have something oversized as well. She found a blue t-shirt that she thought should fit him and bit her lip when Elliot changed into it in front of her. It was still a tight fit and she couldn't resist running her palms over his pecs just when Elliot dropped his jeans, revealing a pair of black boxer briefs. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Now that we're properly dressed for the occasion, let's get some sleep," he said firmly, sounding a lot more convinced that he was feeling.

Olivia dashed off to brush her teeth and Elliot climbed into the big bed. He didn't know which side Olivia preferred and chose the left side, nearest the door. When Olivia returned, she headed for the other side automatically and got in as well. They lay on their sides facing each other for a while, each caught up in their own thoughts. Elliot marveled at the beauty of the woman in front of him while Olivia wondered if this man wasn't too good to be true. Was she willing to take a chance to find out for sure? He smiled at her, a wide, boyish smile and she moved closer to him, until she could wrap her arm around his waist.

"C'mere cowboy," she said softly. "We can touch, right?"

"Hmmm," Elliot hummed, "Yes, please."

They kissed for a while, making sure to keep their hands on the outside of each others' clothes. Olivia was actually tired after the long day, and rested her head on Elliot's shoulder after a while. Elliot wrapped both arms around her and she closed her eyes. She felt safe in his arms, and could feel herself dozing off already. Just before she fell asleep, she mumbled,

"You're a real man, Elliot Stabler."

...

 **A/N I wanted to get this one out to you as quickly as possible, so I decided to end it here in stead of at their goodbye. I have no timeframe for updates yet but I'm hoping to find a new writing groove soon. To be continued ...**


	30. See you soon

**Wow, 30 chapters already. I have this entire story in my head but it just take time to get it on paper, including all the emotions involved at every twist and turn. Thanks for sticking with me this far! Now, on to the morning of Olivia and Elliot's goodbye ... for now.**

...

 **30\. See you soon**

When Elliot woke up alone in the big bed the next morning, he remembered their first night together. Olivia had been gone the next morning as well. Only this time, she couldn't have snuck out to go home. He was in her bed, at her home. He looked around the dark room. It was still dark outside, which was to be expected on the last day of the year. He heard water running down the hall then, and thought Olivia must be in the bathroom. Just when he sat up and swung his legs out of bed, the door to the bedroom opened and Olivia came into the room quietly, her hair still wet from taking a shower and dressed in nothing but a big white towel. Elliot's breath hitched when he saw her and Olivia froze when she realized Elliot was awake. He could see her clearly in the light that was coming in from the hallway, but he guessed she could only see his outline in the dark.

"Hey," she said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Were you going to leave without saying anything?" Elliot asked, his voice still sleepy but making clear that he didn't want her to sneak out again.

He stood up and saw Olivia reach behind her to switch on the light in the room. When she turned back around to face him, he was already wrapping his arms around her. Olivia let out a surprised sound but returned his embrace immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck. Elliot nuzzled his nose in her hair and then kissed her bare shoulder while inhaling her fresh scent.

"I was going to tell you I was leaving," he heard Olivia say softly against the skin of his neck.

He had looked so peaceful while he was sleeping that she had just looked at him for a while, memorizing all the lines of his handsome face before they'd be apart for a while again. But now that she was in his arms, she was glad he'd woken up so they could have a few private moments together before she had to be off to work. His hands were caressing her back and she was acutely aware that she was dressed in nothing but a towel. When Elliot's big hands cupped her butt through the towel, she couldn't suppress a little moan. She wanted him to slip his hands under the towel and ran her hands down his chest and around his back until she could cup his perfect ass through his boxer briefs as well.

Elliot groaned. She was killing him right now, and he wanted to rip that towel off of her body and kiss her all over. The only thing stopping him was his own resolve that he was going to do things differently this time. That was literally the only thing stopping him, because Olivia certainly wasn't. She was pressing her body into his and the way she was kissing his neck and jawline while running her hands across his ass and hips was a clear invitation for him to do the same.

"Liv," he groaned, dropping his forehead to her shoulder and closing his eyes.

"Hmmm?" Olivia hummed innocently, but he could feel her smile against his skin.

The way she was pressing her body against his, she should be aware by now how much she was affecting him already. When one of her hands drifted to the front of his boxer briefs, he grabbed her wrist quickly and created some distance between them.

"You're going to be late for work," he said, his voice a little hoarse.

Olivia could see the fire in his blue eyes and she loved the way she was affecting this big man. It was completely new for her that a man was trying to resist her when he clearly wanted her, and it was a huge turn-on.

"I have a few minutes to spare," she told Elliot, biting her lower lip and looking up at him innocently through her eyelashes.

She knew she was driving him mad and she liked the way she seemed to have this power over him. She wasn't ready to think about the fact that he'd be gone soon and teasing him a little created a perfect distraction.

"Please Liv," Elliot said, his voice low but steady and it hit Olivia again that he must really be very serious about her to try and stand his ground like this.

She stepped back and turned around so her back was to Elliot and she was facing her closet.

"Alright Elliot," she said meekly, just before dropping the towel to the floor.

Elliot groaned again and Olivia heard him mutter 'what the fuck' under his breath behind her. She reached into her underwear drawer and slipped on a pair of black lace panties. She shouldn't tease him like this when he was trying to be such a gentleman.

Meanwhile, Elliot had tried to look away but his eyes were drawn back to Olivia's naked skin. He was just a man for God's sake. What did she expect him to do? He watched her pull up a pair of sexy panties and then stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"You don't play fair," he whispered in her ear before moving his hands up to cup her breasts.

Olivia arched into his touch immediately and Elliot dropped his mouth to her neck while massaging her full breasts with his hands. Olivia moaned and grabbed his forearms for support. His hard-on was pressing into her lower back now and she wasn't exactly avoiding the contact. Elliot wanted her so badly, but if he gave in now he would kick himself later. The feeling of her hardened nipples under her hands was incredible but it would have to do for now. He didn't want a quick fuck with Olivia. The next time they were together, he wanted to take his time with her, and make love to her. She was so willing that it scared him a little. What if it all didn't mean as much to her as it did to him?

"I love you Liv," he heard himself say before he realized he'd said it out loud.

He lowered his hands slowly, until they were on her ribcage and kissed her shoulder again.

"I don't wanna fuck you. You understand, don't you?"

Olivia had to swallow a small lump in her throat. She understood perfectly and she regretted her attempt to seduce him a little now. She turned around quickly in his arms, pressing her naked upper body against his shirt while wrapping her arms around his torso. She hoped he'd know what she did and didn't mean by the move.

"I understand," she said, smiling up at him. "I'm sorry. You're right."

Elliot leaned in to give her a peck on the lips and then leaned his forehead against hers.

"You know I want you," he sighed, trying desperately not to look down.

"I want you too," Olivia admitted, and he knew it meant something that she'd admit something like that out loud.

"Not like this Liv," he told her.

"You wanna take your time," Olivia said, and then they both smiled.

They were back where they had started all those months ago. Elliot leaned in to kiss Olivia softly and then turned away from her.

"Haven't even brushed my teeth yet," he mumbled, heading straight for the door so he wouldn't be drawn back to the almost naked woman in the bedroom. "Please get dressed."

He heard Olivia chuckle and he was relieved that she was taking his refusal so well. He wasn't turning her down, he just wanted it to be right. Their first night together had been perfect, considering what it was. It should have been nothing but a hookup. Now, the stakes were high and he didn't want Olivia to jump in blind and regret it later. She was the first woman in a long time who wasn't losing interest when he showed his serious side and he was completely committed to making it work with Olivia. He wanted it all with her. A real future in stead of short term pleasure. He'd had enough of that to last him a lifetime, and it still hadn't filled the void in his life.

...

After a quick breakfast and after Elliot had freshened up, Olivia had to leave for work. Elliot was leaving too, heading back to his friends at the hotel. He walked her to the door, and Olivia realized it would be their last moment alone for a long time. She stopped in the hallway and looked up at Elliot, who took her in his arms immediately.

"This isn't goodbye Liv," he promised her.

"I know. I'm calling Dana as soon as I'm at the diner. Maybe I'll have a date when you come over with the guys later."

"That would be great."

His lips were on hers then, and Olivia tried to keep the sadness at bay and enjoy the moment. She moaned when Elliot deepened the kiss and returned his kiss hungrily. When they finally broke apart, they were a little out of breath. Elliot smiled at her and the loving look in his blue eyes made her stomach flutter.

"I'll be around by ten."

She nodded, unable to speak for the moment. She was doing it again. Falling for a stranger. Only this time, she felt like she'd known him her whole life. Like he was a part of her already. Or was that just wishful thinking?

...

Robert and Declan welcomed him back with open arms and congratulated him on getting his girl. Elliot wasn't going to tell them how Olivia and he had spent the night. They could think whatever they wanted. He told them Olivia was coming to New York soon, and they were swinging by the diner on their way home. His friends were more than fine with his plans, as long as they got to the city in time to find their loved ones before they would ring in the new year. For once, Elliot didn't mind not having a date on New Year's Eve. This was better. He actually had a girlfriend now, although he felt that the term girlfriend didn't cover what she was to him at all. He was in love, and being on the phone with her tonight would top any date he could have had.

They packed up their things and put everything in Declan's car before having their last breakfast at the hotel. Elliot had already eaten a little bit with Olivia but didn't mind eating again.

"Gotta keep your strength up, right stud?" Robert joked, and Elliot just laughed.

After breakfast they checked out of the hotel and made the short drive to Dana's Diner. It wasn't ten o'clock yet, but they were sure Olivia wouldn't mind if they showed up a little early. Elliot saw her behind the counter already when he hopped out of the car, and when she spotted him, she rushed to the door to meet him. They hugged a little awkwardly, very aware of their small audience of two friends and two co-workers as well as a few customers in the diner, but the mixture of happiness and sadness in Olivia's eyes was clear to Elliot.

"And?" he asked her softly as she grabbed his hand and led him to the corner of the counter.

"February 2nd," she whispered.

Elliot's heart sank.

"That's five weeks from now."

"I know."

Olivia had tried, and Dana had been very understanding, but she couldn't expect her other girls to work overtime because she had found a man who lived out of state. So Olivia would have to work a few extra shifts first to earn her vacation.

"But I'll get a full week," she added and Elliot's heart warmed when he saw her hopeful smile.

She didn't want to disappoint him but he could wait five weeks for a whole week with her.

"A full week?" he said excitedly, and when she nodded shyly, he decided he didn't care right now what their audience thought of them. He pulled Olivia flush against him and kissed her full on the lips.

He could feel her relax in his arms and they reveled in the feeling of each other for a minute before breaking apart.

"A whole week Liv. I'll try to get some time of that week myself and show you the city."

Olivia leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear,

"I hope the city isn't all you're planning on showing me."

Elliot blew out a breath and shook his head. The woman was a tease and she knew it.

"I'm gonna miss you," Olivia admitted softly, not looking up at him.

"Me too," Elliot whispered. "But I'll call you often. You wanna ring in the new year on the phone with me tonight?"

He saw the beginning of tears in her eyes when she looked up at him again.

"I'd love to, Elliot."

She leaned in for one last kiss and he held her tight after that. His friends had struck up a conversation with Sandy and Tina, but when Declan coughed loudly, Elliot knew it was his cue to break it up. He forced a smile when he looked into Olivia's eyes one last time. She nodded and smiled as well.

"No goodbyes, El," she said.

"No," he agreed. "I'll see you soon."

...

 **A/N Well, that was a longer road to their 'so long' than I thought, but I enjoy writing these two finding their way together. Next up: how will they do once Elliot is back home? Will Olivia's insecurities resurface?**


	31. Apart

**Apologies for the delay. I have Olivia's stay in New York all planned out in my head, but I need to fill in that five week gap with something that makes sense, and I'm struggling a bit. This is kind of a 'filler' chapter. I'm sorry if it isn't as interesting as the previous ones. Things will pick up soon, I promise!**

...

 **31\. Apart**

Elliot was relieved that his friends were leaving him alone with his thoughts for a while. He had climbed in the back, and Robert and Declan were talking quietly while they drove back to the city. He could hardly believe how well these few days in town had turned out. He'd gone back thinking Olivia was in a relationship with her life-long best friend and now that he was driving back, she was in a relationship with _him_. Elliot grinned and stared out the window, not registering at all where they were or what he was seeing. She was giving him a shot. He actually had a chance with her now. February 2nd was still a long way away, but it was so much better than what he'd feared. Never seeing her again would have been hell on earth for him. Maybe he would have gotten over her eventually but his chest was swelling with relief that he wouldn't have to find out for a long time. Hopefully never.

He worried a little about Olivia though. She had shown such insecurity, fear even, about opening her heart for him. Would her insecurities get the best of her over the next few weeks, while they didn't see each other?

...

Olivia tried to focus on work but all her coworkers' happy chatter just went past her and she didn't register it. She wasn't even sure what she was feeling exactly. She just felt a little lost. She perked up when Kathy dropped by during her lunch break, and they sat together in the kids' play area so they could talk privately for a bit. Kathy wanted to know all about her night with Elliot, and while Olivia had told herself she wouldn't talk about it, she ended up confessing to Kathy anyway.

"He stayed over but we didn't actually _do_ anything," she said, almost whispering so no one would hear them.

Kathy's mouth fell open.

"What?! Why not?"

"He wouldn't. Said he wants to take it slow so I won't think he's using me for sex," she whispered.

" _He_ wouldn't? That's new."

"Isn't it?" Olivia agreed.

"I told you he's a good guy. But no sex all weekend ... God, Liv. And now what?"

Olivia told her friend that she was going to New York in five weeks. While they talked about it, she began to feel a little nervous. She wasn't afraid of the big city, but it would be a completely new experience. Elliot might be working during her stay, and she'd be all alone. She looked at her friend and Kathy raised an eyebrow, no doubt sensing that she was going to throw her a curve ball.

"Kath, can't you come with me to New York? You have some vacation days left, right?"

"Come with you?"

"Yeah. It'll be fun."

Kathy doubted that it would be much fun for her, since Olivia would only have eyes for her cowboy, but Olivia promised her they'd spend lots of time together and they could go on a shopping spree in the Big Apple. Kathy said she'd think about it, and Olivia was content for now. The prospect of going to New York with her best friend eased her nerves a little and she hoped Kathy would say yes.

...

Robert was anxious to see Pippa while Declan had just received a phone call that his girlfriend Rebecca was waiting for him at his apartment. Rebecca Hendrix worked as an in house psychologist in the Marines, and Declan had fallen for the strong woman as soon as he'd had one mandatory session with her after witnessing a fatal accident at work. Elliot knew that Rebecca was the only one who had been able to tame the Irishman and he was happy for him that they had managed to make their relationship work. He'd been assigned a new psychologist, naturally, but their superior officers allowed them time off together, and sometimes they would be stationed in the same place for a while. He had told his friends a few months ago that he was considering popping the question, and once they said their goodbyes, Declan let it slip that tonight would be the night. He wanted to propose at midnight, and go into the new year with Rebecca as his fiancée.

Robert and Elliot wished him luck and he promised that he'd be in touch before they had to report back to base. They dropped Elliot off first, and once he had hauled his bag into his apartment and closed the door behind him, he let out a deep sigh. Married. Declan was actually getting married, and he doubted Robert would be far behind him. They had joked about it a few times. Declan had landed himself a psychologist and Robert a lawyer, so the only way to top that, was if Elliot found a rich heiress. Elliot smiled to himself. Instead of finding a wealthy woman, he had to fall for a small town waitress. And he couldn't be happier about it. He stripped, put all his clothes in the washer and took a nice long shower while thinking about his small town waitress. Olivia. _His_ Olivia.

...

Olivia wasn't in the mood for a New Years Eve party. Elliot was going to call her on her cell at 11.45 pm and she wanted to be alone then. Kathy would have nothing of it though, and she ended up at the lake, bundled up in her warm winter coat, to watch the town's fireworks with their friends. Olivia kept her hand on her phone in her pocket the whole time, not wanting to miss Elliot's call. Nick was there too and he was helping to serve out cups of hot mulled wine, a traditional European drink that had become popular in town because the Tavern served it in the winter. Nick handed Olivia a cup and lingered a bit. She smiled at her friend and former lover and he seemed to be debating saying something to her.

"What is it Nick?" she asked him encouragingly.

"That cowboy of yours still in town?" he asked, speaking fast as if that would make it less uncomfortable to talk about Elliot with her.

Olivia shook her head.

"No. He has to work tomorrow so they left this morning."

Nick nodded.

"So, everything go okay with ... him?"

Olivia took a small sip from her hot drink and nodded.

"Uhuh."

Nick laughed out loud.

"Uhuh? What does that even mean Liv?"

Olivia chuckled as well and relaxed. They could do this. He was still her friend.

"That means, Mr. Amaro, that we had a good time while he and his friends were here, and that we're going to stay in touch."

Nick looked out over the lake and nodded, biting his lower lip.

"Okay," he said then. "I hope that works long-distance then. You never know with these tourists, do you? Just come over here to have some fun, no strings attached, and then they're off into the sunset without you."

Olivia appreciated Nick's concern and she knew he only had her well-being in mind, but unconsciously he was feeding her insecurities. She told Nick that Elliot wasn't like that, but she knew she was telling herself as well. She felt good around Elliot. Safe. Loved. But now that he was gone, she immediately started feeling jittery again. Maybe she had just imagined it all. Maybe Elliot would regret saying that he loved her. He'd kick himself once he'd get back to the city and he'd try to keep her at arms length.

She shook her head and could already hear Kathy's voice, chiding her for projecting her own fears on this man, who hadn't asked for the honor of being compared to the prick who'd hurt her so badly.

...

Elliot had gone over to his mothers' house after dinner, to ring in the new year with her. Gladys, one of her friends, was there too and they were going to watch the fire works outside on the beach together. Around 11.30 he started to get nervous, and his mother noticed.

"I'm surprised you aren't out partying with your friends, Elliot," she started cautiously.

"Nah, didn't feel like being in a crowd tonight mom. I like being here with you at the beach."

His mother smiled knowingly and he realized once again, that she wasn't nearly as disconnected from the real world as he had thought when he was younger.

"You've been fiddling a bit dear. Are you expecting a phone call?"

He looked at his mother, who was sitting comfortably in her chair by the window, across from her friend. Elliot had pulled up a smaller chair, one of those fancy chairs with curly legs that didn't seem to be built to carry the weight of a grown man. He was nursing a beer while tapping his knee nervously with his phone. Bernadette smiled at him and he grinned back.

"You've met someone special, haven't you," his mother said.

Gladys looked at him too, and he could picture the two of them getting together tomorrow, speculating about the girl that had him all nervous.

"Can't hide a thing from my mom," he said, winking at Gladys.

He confirmed that he had, indeed, met someone very special, and that he was going to call her in fifteen minutes.

"Why aren't you with her, Elliot?" Gladys asked, and he explained briefly that he had met the girl while on vacation and that she didn't live nearby.

"Oh, that must be so difficult," Bernadette chimed it. "I hope you can make it work and we can meet her soon."

Turning towards Gladys she added, "I haven't seen my boy like this in ages."

Elliot just smiled and glanced at his phone again. 11.35. Why did time have to slow down like that at the wrong time, and then speed up again at the wrong time as well? He wished he was still in Olivia's home and he closed his eyes when he remembered the feeling of her naked skin under his hands. Was that just this morning? It already felt like a long time ago, and he wasn't sure how he'd get through the next five weeks without her. But right now, he needed the next ten minutes to pass so he could call her.

...

Olivia jumped when her phone started vibrating and ringing simultaneously. It was exactly 11.45 and she couldn't stop a wide grin from spreading across her face. Kathy winked at her and Olivia turned away from the group she'd been standing with to take the call. She took a few steps away from the others and her fingers were shaking when she pressed the answer button. She sounded a little out of breath when she answered,

"Hello?"

"Hey."

Just that one syllable was enough for Olivia to feel like she was being wrapped in a warm blanket, despite the winter cold.

"Hey you," she answered him breathily, pressing the phone to her ear while wrapping her free arm around herself.

How could he still have this effect on her while he was hundreds of miles away?

"How was your day?"

It was such an ordinary question and it caught her off guard. It was something people asked each other after coming home from work. She could see it now. She'd get home after a late shift and Elliot would be waiting for her, heating up a plate he'd saved for her. She bit her lip and tried to shake the thoughts out of her head. She was thinking way too far ahead.

"Liv?"

"Yeah, I'm here," she said quickly. "It was fine. I ... well, I worked and then I went home and tonight, Kathy dragged me to the lake to watch the fireworks with our friends at midnight."

"Why'd she have to drag you?"

Olivia thought she heard voices behind Elliot and wondered where he was or if he had company at his place.

"I ... I told her I'd just stay home tonight but she thought I shouldn't be ringing in the new year alone."

Elliot chuckled but didn't comment one way or the other.

"You had a good trip with the guys?" she asked him and he told her it had been just fine.

"I'm with my mother now and she has a friend over," Elliot told her and she relaxed some more. He wasn't at a party with people, _women_ , his age.

"That's nice El. Family is important."

"Family is everything," she heard him say and she closed her eyes briefly.

She didn't have much family left, only a half-brother.

"I can't wait for you to meet my mom," Elliot continued. "I'm sure you two will hit it off."

She opened her eyes and bit her lip. Dean had never introduced her to his family. Come to think of it, she hardly knew anything about his family at all. They didn't live nearby of course, since Dean had only been in town to complete one year as an intern, but the distance didn't seem to stop Elliot from wanting her to meet his family.

"My sister too, for that matter," Elliot chatted on happily, unaware of Olivia's thoughts. "Maureen is dying to meet you. I think she and her girlfriend are going to tie the knot soon and it would be great if you could be there."

...

Olivia had fallen silent and Elliot wondered if he was going too fast. He was just excited that she was going to come over and he wanted her to meet his family. The family that he wanted her to become a part of. Just hearing her voice had put a silly grin on his face and he knew he'd been babbling a bit. He walked outside to make sure his mother and Gladys weren't listening and asked Olivia,

"Are you okay?"

He heard her exhale and then say that she was fine.

"I'm sorry if I'm babbling a bit Liv. I'm just exited that you're going to come over. I miss you already."

He felt actual tears prick behind his eyes when he admitted that he missed her, but he blinked them away quickly. He needed to make sure that Olivia was still on board and wasn't going to run now that they weren't together. He sighed when he heard her say softly,

"I miss you too El."

They were both silent for a few moments and then he heard Olivia chuckle. He loved the sound of her laughter and pictured her beautiful face with the warm, brown eyes looking up at him with a twinkle of amusement in them.

"What have you done to me, city cowboy? Making me miss you already?"

He knew she used jokes as a way to hide what she was really feeling, but that was fine with him. It only meant she was actually feeling something and it was all he needed to know right now.

"I could ask you the same thing, Miss Benson," he quipped back. "I only have eyes for you now and people are beginning to wonder about my sanity."

She laughed out loud then and they joked back and forth a bit until he heard people calling Olivia's name.

"The fireworks are almost starting," she said, and he wished they didn't have to hang up.

"Here too," he answered. "But we can watch while we're on the phone, right?"

He wondered if it was silly to suggest it, but Olivia agreed and a few minutes later they were watching the fireworks together. They could hear the crackles and bangs at the other end of the line as well, and the distance between them didn't seem to exist for a few minutes. They didn't speak, they just watched the spectacle in front of them while breathing together. It would have to do for now. It did for him. And when they finally ended the call, he knew it had meant something to her too.

"Happy new year, Liv," he told her before hanging up.

"Happy new year, El."

"Talk to you soon."

"Yeah. Soon."

"Bye."

"Bye."

...

 **To be continued. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	32. Emotions

**32\. Emotions**

Elliot wondered if Olivia was going to call him. They hadn't really discussed it the other night and while he didn't want to come across as pushy, he knew that Olivia might need a little push. She had sounded happy when he called her and they'd watched the fireworks together on the phone, and he tried to tell himself they were good as their first week apart went by. He was swamped in two new cases that kept him busy all day and well into the evening all week. He'd even been called in in the middle of the night once and the sparse hours he had to himself had been spent mostly sleeping. On Tuesday afternoon, Captain Cragen finally sent him home after they had solved both cases, and he would be off duty for two days. Elliot turned in early and slept for ten hours straight. He'd really needed the rest. The next morning he went out to get a new supply of groceries and cleaned up his apartment a little.

Looking around the place, he wondered what it would be like to have Olivia there with him. It was just a modest little place with one bedroom and he started thinking about getting a bigger place. Something big enough to start a family, maybe get a pet ... He shook his head and sighed. He was getting ahead of himself again. Maybe they'd end up in Olivia's town. He'd be willing to move for her, he knew that. He looked around his living area again. Would he miss this place, that had been his for almost eight years? He might miss the city, but not this place. It had never been a real home anyway, just a place to sleep, a roof over his head.

He glanced at the door of his bedroom, that was open a crack. He'd taken quite a few women in there. He had preferred going home with the ladies so he could leave when he was done, but it hadn't always worked out that way. He bit his lip. Olivia was so, so much more to him. She deserved better. He sat down at his small desk and opened his laptop to start surfing the internet, looking at prices of apartments in New York.

...

Olivia was working diligently to earn her time off. Dana had dropped by once during one of her day shifts, and while she hadn't asked her about Elliot directly, Olivia knew that Dana could see things were different this time, not like when she was with Nick at all. It still scared her a little but aside from Kathy, she had found an ally in Rafael. He _had_ asked her directly about Elliot when she came into his shop a few days into the new year. And when she told him she was going to New York in a few weeks, his face lit up.

"That is so wonderful, Olivia. I'm glad you took the advice of an old bachelor."

Olivia grinned.

"You're not old, Rafi."

"Well, my time has come and gone," Rafael sighed, "but yours hasn't, so I want to help you in any way I can."

Olivia had sat down at one of the small tables and sipped her coffee while Rafael fixed himself a cup as well and sat down across from her.

"Help me how, Rafi? Be my mental coach?" Olivia joked.

"I own a condo in New York City."

Olivia's mouth fell open and she set her coffee down quickly. She'd always suspected Rafael was wealthy but she hadn't expected to have it confirmed like this.

"It's a spacious two bedroom apartment on East 29th Street in Manhattan," Rafael continued as if it was nothing, although the place had to be worth millions. "It's completely furnished and you're free to use it any time."

Olivia put a hand over her mouth. She was flabbergasted.

"Rafi," she said softly. "This is too much."

Rafael shrugged.

"Why? I'm not using it so it's no trouble at all. The building has a doorman, a live-in manager, there's a washer and a dryer in the apartment, I pay for a cleaning service and it's close to several stores and subway stations."

Rafael reached for his back pocket then, pulling out his cell phone.

"I think I have a few pictures on here."

They looked at the pictures together and Olivia couldn't believe her friend owned such a huge apartment in the Sky House and wasn't using it at all. The spacious living room was the center of the apartment and the two bedrooms were on either side of the living room, each with their own luxury bathroom. The kitchen, that was next to the master bedroom, was fully equipped and there was light streaming into the living room from five oversized windows facing the west. The view was amazing and Olivia wondered how far up the place was exactly. It had to be at least 20 floors.

Olivia told Rafael that she had asked Kathy to come to New York with her, and Rafael just said that was perfect. There was enough space in the apartment for at least four people. Rafael gave her a telling look and Olivia blushed. He just assumed she would bring Elliot there.

"Don't let him get away unless you're sure he's not the one, Olivia," Rafael told her solemnly. "You can have the condo for as long and as often as you need it."

Olivia gave Rafael a hug and thanked him, but he just waved it off and told her to drink her coffee. She grinned, knowing he always became a little awkward when people showed him affection. She drank her coffee quietly and mused about staying in an apartment that almost felt like a mansion to her, and walking the streets of New York like a real woman of the world.

...

Elliot decided to call Olivia at last on Wednesday night. He wanted to hear her voice and when she answered with a soft 'hello' his stomach clenched. He wished he could see her and touch her. He never knew he could miss someone so much while talking to them on the phone.

"Liv, it's me."

"Hi you," she answered and he could just picture the smile on her face.

"How have you been?"

"Busy. Gotta work to earn my vacation."

Elliot laughed softly. She still seemed eager to come and see him.

"I miss you," he told her, and he bit his lip. He really did.

Olivia was quiet for a few seconds and he wondered where she was and what she was doing. Maybe she hadn't had time to miss him. When he heard a muffled 'me too' through the phone, he realized she was a little emotional.

"Liv," he said but then she found her voice again and interrupted him.

"You must have been busy too El. I kind of expected you to call sooner."

He knew she was teasing him but he took the opportunity to challenge her a little.

"Well, you could have called me too, miss Benson. The phone does work both ways, you know."

"Yeah yeah," Olivia said, but he knew the message was coming across. "I just didn't want to interrupt any important police work."

"You can call anytime Liv," Elliot said, a little more seriously than he had intended. "If it's a bad time, I won't answer and then I'll call you back when I can."

"Okay okay," Olivia muttered, and he could just picture her, holding up her hands in surrender, yet giving him look that reflected anything but surrender.

Then Olivia told him that her friend Rafael - you know, the ice cream guy, she added for his benefit - had offered her the use of his enormous condo in the city and that she had asked Kathy to come with her. She sounded excited about the luxury condo and he looked around his tiny apartment again. He didn't have much to offer her when it came to living arrangements. He agreed that it was a great offer and they chatted some more about going sightseeing in New York, and going shopping with Kathy. He was glad she was bringing her friend so she wouldn't be alone when he had to work. He was trying to get the entire week off as well, but Cragen hadn't made any promises so far. A few days was fine but a whole week would depend on the case load and the manpower they would have then.

It wasn't easy to end their call but Elliot told himself he needed to get used to this for now. He could only hope that Olivia would see soon that they were meant to be, so they could start making plans for the future. He had never been more ready, and shook his head once more after they had finally managed to hang up. After that one weekend with Olivia, his life hadn't been the same. It never would be again.

...

Sharon and Simon were both home again and they actually had a family dinner at home for once by the end of the second week of the year. They all shared stories about how they had spent the holidays and when it was Olivia's turn she told them about the new man in her life.

"A new guy?" Simon asked. "Spill, Liv. I told you all about Tracy too, so you gotta share. What's his name?"

"Elliot."

Simon raised an eyebrow.

"I know an Elliot that breezes through here from time to time. Can't be the same guy though, he wouldn't be your type."

Olivia bit her lip. She knew Elliot had stayed at the motel where Simon worked, so it probably _was_ the same guy. But why would Simon say he wasn't her type? She wanted to ask him, but not in front of Sharon, so she decided to just tell her brother and his mother about how she'd met Elliot, that they had really hit it off, and that she was going to visit him soon. Simon seemed to notice that she was being a bit vague intentionally and didn't prod her for any more details. He was excited about his own girlfriend, and showed them a few pictures of the beautiful dark-skinned woman on his phone.

"Can you believe I met her at The Swamp?" Simon asked. "Our taste in music is totally opposite but I can just watch her dance to any kind of music all day. The way she moves ... man. I still don't know how she even noticed me in there but I'm not complaining."

Sharon asked when they could meet Tracy and Olivia let them talk while she thought about her own guy. After dinner she helped Sharon wash up and then joined Simon in the living room while Sharon went upstairs to do some laundry. She sat down next to her brother on the couch and waited until he was finished flipping through all the channels on the TV and settled on a sports channel.

"Hey Simon," she started, and Simon looked at her as if he had been expecting her to bring Elliot up again.

"Yeah. About Elliot," he replied, and Olivia nodded.

"Why did you say he wouldn't be my type?"

"So you _are_ seeing Elliot Stabler?"

Olivia nodded slowly, waiting to hear what Simon had to say, but not sure if she really wanted to hear it. Simon leaned back against the backrest of the couch and blew out a breath.

"Okay, well, if anyone can tame him, I guess it would be you Liv."

Olivia felt a small knot forming in her stomach.

"If that's supposed to be reassuring, it's not working Simon," she said sharply.

Simon scrunched up his nose and seemed to be debating what to say next. He looked at her then, and told her,

"Well, from what I've seen he's quite the ladies man, Liv. He'd have two or three different girls in one weekend sometimes. He'd bring one up to his room at the motel and then go home with another one the next night. He was my hero for a while, when I could only fantasize about being with a girl. He'd touch base with me about his latest conquests so I could live a little through his adventures and ... "

Simon seemed to realize that he was upsetting her and suddenly stopped his ode to Elliot the player.

"But like I said, if anyone can tame him ..." he started then.

"Yeah yeah," Olivia interrupted him, waving her hands and leaning forward, her elbows on her thighs.

She scrubbed her hands down her face and sighed. She had too many images of Elliot with other women in her head now. Two or three in one weekend? And bragging about it? Had he been with anyone else during the weekend she'd slept with him last summer? The knot in her stomach grew and she felt sick. Elliot had told her that he'd been all about casual hookups before he'd met her, but hearing it from an actual eye witness was different. Simon actually admired the fact that Elliot could get women to sleep with him so easily. If he'd been used to having a lot of women, would a life with just her be enough for him in the long run? She knew she was pretty good in the bedroom but how could she compete with two or three different girls every week?

She hadn't lived like a nun herself, but she hadn't been a slut either. She'd never sleep with one guy one day, and then another one the next day. Aside from her relationships with Dean and Nick, she'd only had a handful of one-night stands or very short flings. Her mother had warned her about men trying to use her and she'd listened, although she hadn't shied away from the odd experiment every now and then. Elliot on the other hand ...

She flinched when Simon put a hand on her shoulder, and he pulled it away immediately.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," he said, and when she looked up at him, she could see that he was worried about her.

She made a helpless gesture with her hands. What could she say? She needed to know these things about her boyfriend, didn't she? If he hadn't been such a player, he would never have picked her up with his corny pick-up lines. He'd come back for her. Twice. He had told her he wanted the real deal with her and that he was done with casual hookups. But what if he started missing that lifestyle after a while? What if he saw another beautiful woman who was interested in him? Maybe he already had ...

Olivia put a hand over her stomach. She needed to keep breathing slowly. She didn't need another anxiety attack, like she'd had several times after her accident. Simon apologized again, and he was telling her now what a great guy Elliot was. Always friendly and generous, and he'd never talked about a woman like she was just a piece of meat, but Olivia wasn't listening anymore. She needed some air and stood up, still holding her stomach. Simon stood up with her but she sidestepped him and walked to the front door to get her coat.

"I'm just gonna go over to Kathy's," she mumbled, and hurried out the door before Simon could stop her.

Olivia decided to walk, trying to walk some of her anxiety off. Basically, Simon hadn't told her anything she didn't know, but it still got to her. He'd thought Elliot wasn't her type because Simon knew her. Well, up to a point anyway. He knew she never went for players. Ever. She saw right through them and just laughed and brushed them off whenever they approached her. So why hadn't she seen through Elliot? A little voice in the back of her head gave her the only answer that made sense: because he's not really a player. But the loud voice booming in her head was screaming. Don't fall for this again! He'll dump you when he's tired of you! Just like Dean did ...

By the time she reached Kathy's front door, she was completely out of breath. She knocked but when Kathy didn't answer after three knocks, she remembered. Kathy was working tonight. Olivia slumped against Kathy's front door and then sank to the ground, sitting on the stoop with her back against the door. She wanted to cry. She really needed Kathy right now, to tell her that Simon had it all wrong. That Elliot hadn't wanted to sleep around. Well, he had wanted it of course, but not because that was the lifestyle he really wanted. He had spent all of his time with her the last time he was here, and they hadn't even had sex. She'd offered it and he had refused, telling her he didn't want a quick fuck. He wanted to take his time with her, literally and figuratively. Because he loved her. Olivia closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. Why weren't her emotions keeping up with her reasoning? Elliot was doing everything right. Why was she still so afraid?

As if on cue, her phone rang, and she practically jumped out of her skin. She pulled it out of her coat pocket and checked the caller ID. Elliot. She took a deep breath and answered it, hoping to sound like her normal self.

"Hi."

There was no sound at the other end of the line for a few seconds, and Olivia wondered if something was wrong with their connection.

"Hello?" she tried again.

"Olivia, what's wrong?"

...

 **A/N Seems to me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with their connection. At least not with Elliot's ... To be continued.  
Reviews make me happy.  
**


	33. Call Me

**33\. Call Me**

 _"Hi."_

 _There was no sound at the other end of the line for a few seconds, and Olivia wondered if something was wrong with their connection._

 _"Hello?" she tried again._

 _"Olivia, what's wrong?"_

Elliot swallowed hard. A feeling of dread formed in the pit of his stomach as soon as he heard Olivia's voice. Something was off. He heard her take a deep breath and he could picture her exact face. She was upset.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Bull."

"What?!"

Elliot closed his eyes and rubbed them with his thumb and forefinger. This wasn't the time to get angry with her. He had to think fast so she wouldn't clam up on him.

"Liv, please," he pleaded. "I can hear in your voice that something is bothering you. Where are you?"

Olivia sighed again and he couldn't help wondering why she wasn't just answering his question. It wasn't a big secret where she was, was it?

"Why are you calling, Elliot?"

Elliot frowned and pulled the phone from his ear to look at it, as if she would be able to see his surprise. Why was he calling her? Was that even a question?

"Is this a bad time? Do you have company?" he asked her, because he couldn't think of any other reason why she'd react to him like this.

He felt like they were completely out of sync but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"No ... no, it's fine. How have you been?"

Her voice sounded flat and Elliot's frustration only grew. He wasn't getting through to her at all and started pacing in the interrogation room he'd ducked into to call her. He clutched his phone and wracked his brain, trying to think of something he could say to connect with Olivia again.

"I miss you," he settled on, and he really meant it.

He wished he could see her right now and see how she was really doing. Something had her rattled and he needed to know what.

"Was there anyone else?"

The question caught him completely off guard. He had hoped she would tell him she missed him too, like they usually did when they called each other. He didn't even know what she meant but her strained voice told him it was a very important question to her.

"Was there anyone else what, Liv? I'm not following."

"Our first weekend together. Were you with anyone else that weekend?"

He could tell she was on the brink of crying and he finally understood that her insecurities were getting the best of her again. She had been the only woman on his mind every since their first evening together, but she didn't know that. He couldn't really blame her, considering his track record with women. He leaned against the wall next to the barred window, and stared outside. It was dark and cold, and he felt a little lost so far away from Olivia. That warm summer weekend with her seemed like a lifetime ago now and he longed to be there again, with Olivia, in the sun.

"Olivia," he said, as gently as he could manage. "When I'm around you, I see no one else. It's been that way from the time I first laid eyes on you. There was no one else then and there is no one else now."

"You went home with Amanda."

Elliot knitted his brow. He went home with Amanda? Who was Amanda? The only Amanda he knew was that blonde southern girl that lived in Olivia's town. Oh, wait ... Oh, wait.

 _Shit_.

"That was a different weekend," he said defensively. "You had just told me you were with Nick. And I was too drunk to even remember it. Nothing happened."

"That's not what she told me."

Olivia didn't just sound upset anymore. She was getting angry.

"Shit Liv. I don't remember, okay? I was drunk because of you. It's always been you from the day we met!"

Elliot realized he was getting worked up as well, and although he meant every word, by now he sounded as angry as Olivia did.

"I can't do this Elliot," Olivia replied angrily and he answered immediately,

"Then don't."

...

"What?"

Olivia was stunned. Despite how upset she was, she had somehow expected Elliot to try and calm her down; and to succeed, too. Had he just told her to just forget about it and get on with her life without him?

"Don't do this," she heard him say, and he didn't sound as angry as before, just tense.

"Don't do what?"

"Don't drive yourself crazy like this. I ... I won't deny that there have been other women. And I guess I did go home with someone when I was upset that I couldn't have you. But that's in the past. I don't want anyone else. I just want you. I know I used to get around in the past, but that was only because I couldn't find what I was looking for."

Olivia was blinking fast and pushed herself up from Kathy's cold stoop to stand up. He was suddenly talking and she needed time to understand what he was saying. He did _not_ want to forget about it.

"I didn't even know what I was looking for until I met you," she heard him say.

Olivia blinked again and bit her lip. His voice was so kind now. She leaned against the door and sighed again. Her anger was fading and she didn't even know why she'd gotten angry with him. He hadn't lied to her about his past. She just wasn't ready to have it spelled out to her like Simon had done. It had made her question him and it wasn't fair to attack him like she had without getting all the facts. She breathed in and out slowly.

"Talk to me Liv," Elliot said. "What brought this on?"

She shook her head, although she knew Elliot couldn't see it.

"That doesn't matter El."

"It does. I don't want you to freak out each time someone tells you they slept with me. So this Amanda told you about me?"

"Yeah. And Simon too."

She frowned. She hadn't wanted to rat out her brother so why had she blurted it out anyway?

"Simon," Elliot sighed. "Oh God. He always wanted to know all about my adventures with the ladies. I'm so sorry Liv. It never crossed my mind that he'd tell you about all that."

"It's not like I didn't know," Olivia offered, feeling the need to acknowledge that Elliot had been straight with her about his lifestyle.

"Yeah but still. I wouldn't want someone telling me all about your sex life either, Liv. I don't even want to know that you had one before me."

Olivia closed her eyes and rested her head against the door. She couldn't help smiling at Elliot's words and it moved her that he actually understood what she was feeling.

"I'm sorry Elliot," she said softly.

"For having a sex life before me?"

She could hear the playfulness in Elliot's voice and chuckled. He was rescuing her from an awkward apology.

"Yeah. That too," she said with a smile.

"I love you, Liv."

Her smile widened and she could breathe again.

"Promise me something Liv," Elliot said.

"Okay."

"Call me when you're feeling insecure or upset okay? About anything."

Olivia nodded again. Even over the phone, Elliot had a calming effect on her. Well, as long as they weren't yelling at each other. She started walking down the street slowly, in the direction of her home.

"Okay," she said again.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

...

Elliot could breathe again. They were back where they should be. She missed him too.

"Three more weeks," he said softly and he heard her sigh.

"We'll live," she said and he smiled.

"Just call me Liv. Day or night."

"I will."

There was a knock on the door and John Munch came in, gesturing that thy had to go.

"Liv, I'm at work and they need me again, so I gotta go. Talk to you soon, okay?"

They said goodbye quickly and Elliot ended the call to go with Munch.

"We got a lead?"

"Yeah," Munch said. "The upstairs neighbor heard the whole thing. Fin is still in interrogation so Cragen wants us to go talk to her."

Elliot grabbed his coat and car keys, and headed out with Munch. They were quiet on the short drive over to the apartment building where a young woman had been raped in her home and Elliot wondered if Olivia was really okay now, after their short talk. If she didn't live so far away, he would make the drive to her place tonight, but he couldn't. He would probably be working all night.

"Girl trouble, Elliot?" Munch asked him after a few minutes, and he glanced at the older man.

"She was upset about something, but we're good now."

"Long-distance relationships suck, right?"

"Yeah," Elliot nodded.

"But she's the one."

"Yeah," he said again, grinning from ear to ear.

Munch just smiled and they were silent again until they reached the building to interview the upstairs neighbor of their victim.

...

When Olivia got home, she went straight up to her room. She didn't feel like talking to Simon again. When she got upstairs, she heard him talking on the phone in his room, probably to Tracy. She was happy for her brother that he'd finally found a girl to call his own. She knew he'd be faithful as a puppy. His admiration for guys like Elliot wasn't because he wanted to live just like them. He just wanted to have someone too. To be noticed and loved, and to have a warm body to hold on to at night. Olivia flopped down on her bed with a sigh. It would be so much easier if Elliot were here. At least she'd know for certain that he wasn't with another woman.

Olivia shook her head and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn't with another woman. She needed to trust him. Trusting men just didn't come naturally to her anymore and she hated it. Elliot hadn't given her any reason not to trust him, and she wouldn't blame him if he got tired of her 'issues' after a while. She swallowed hard and forced herself not to think like that. She remembered Rafael's words. _Don't let him get away unless you're sure he's not the one_. If she really wanted to know, she would have to fight for him. She used to sing along with the lyrics of that song, Any man of mine, so boldly, but it was time to do her part as well. If she wanted a man to accept her just the way she was, she would need to make an effort as well to do the same. She was terrified of putting her heart on the line again, but it was the only way. Elliot was doing it. He'd told her he loved her and that he wanted to be with her and no one else. He'd made the long trip twice, just for her. Now it was her turn.

She sent Kathy a quick text, asking her to text back as soon as her late shift was over. She ventured downstairs again and grabbed a beer, switched on the television and sat down on the couch to wait for Kathy's text.

...

 **A/N Apologies for the short chapter but I thought I'd give you this in stead of making you wait even longer. More soon!  
Meanwhile, some feedback would be greatly appreciated.**


	34. One

**34\. One**

"Finally," Olivia sighed when her phone beeped at 12.30 am, letting her know she had a text message.

She grabbed her phone and hit the call button immediately.

"Hey. This must be urgent," Kathy said. "I just got home."

Olivia could hear rustling and guessed that her friend had just crawled into bed.

"I freaked out tonight," Olivia said, diving right in.

"Why?"

Kathy could read her like a book and didn't need to ask what - or whom - she had freaked out about.

"Simon just wouldn't shut up about Elliot's conquests whenever he was in town and ... well, it got to me. Big time."

Kathy was silent for a few seconds and then said gravely,

"You know what that means, right?"

"Yeah," Olivia groaned, biting her lower lip and closing her eyes.

She knew. She was sinking. Becoming possessive. She was finally admitting what Kathy had seen all along: she was in love.

"Honey, it's not gonna end up like last time, I promise. I won't promise you sunshine and rainbows for the rest of your life, because relationships are hard work, but I really think you've struck gold with this guy. So he's been around the block a few times, who cares. He's devoted to _you_ now and you better make it worth his while."

Olivia chuckled despite the seriousness of Kathy's words. She had told her friend many times, she should become a motivational speaker. Tough love worked, at least it did for Olivia.

"You're right Kath, and you can tell me 'I told you so' a million times. I'm hoping you will, because I really want you to be right about this."

"So you're afraid you won't measure up?"

Olivia blew out a breath at the blunt question. She loved Kathy to death. She'd really needed this.

"I guess," she admitted. "What if he gets bored with me after a while and wants some more variation again, like he's been used to?"

"How many girls has he been with since meeting you?" Kathy asked, as if Olivia would know the answer to her question.

"I don't know! How should I know something like that Kath?" Olivia asked, not even wanting to think about it.

"Ask him."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I don't really wanna know Kath."

"Yeah you do. I'm sure it won't nearly be as many as you think. And if he's the man I think he is, he'll make you very, very glad you asked."

Olivia shook her head. She couldn't imagine how Elliot could tell her such a thing and make her glad she had asked. But finally admitting out loud that she was in love, did make her feel a lot lighter. So he was more experienced than her. Maybe he could teach her a thing or two. She grinned at her own thought, and when images of Elliot's muscular chest popped up, she had to take a deep breath.

Meanwhile, Kathy was telling her that her application for vacation days had finally been approved. Olivia sat up straight.

"Does that mean you're coming with me to New York?"

"Yeah baby," Kathy said. "We're going on a week-long shopping spree!"

Olivia couldn't be happier and they chatted some more about what they could do while they were out together, and Olivia suddenly remembered Rafael's generous offer. She told Kathy about the condo and her friend was ecstatic. By the time they ended the call to finally get some sleep, both friends were in a great mood. They couldn't wait for their vacation and were counting the days. When Olivia finally slipped under the covers she couldn't resist whispering into the dark bedroom,

"Goodnight Elliot. I can't wait to see you again."

...

Elliot had been a little worried about Olivia after their last phone conversation and was pleasantly surprised when she called him a few days later. He had just gotten back to the station after a long evening of interviewing witnesses of a domestic violence situation at a hotel and sat down on his desk with a wide grin on his face when he heard her voice. The day had suddenly gotten so much better.

Olivia was telling him that Kathy's vacation time had been approved at last, and that they were really looking forward to their trip.

"I do hope you'll have some time left to see me," he joked and he laughed with her when he heard Olivia's melodious laugh through the phone.

"Well, I'll just have to see if I can squeeze you in, Mr. Stabler," she said huskily then.

"You can squeeze me in anytime, anywhere, Ms. Benson," Elliot quipped back.

John Munch just walked in and caught his last remark. The older man shook his head but smiled.

"Are you that insatiable, detective?" he heard Olivia ask and he stood up to move out of the squad room. If she was going to keep up the sexy talk, he didn't want everyone else to hear them.

"Only when it comes to you, Olivia," he told her softly while crossing the hallway to duck into the file room.

"I have to wonder if that's true El," Olivia said earnestly, and Elliot was acutely aware that the tone of their conversation had changed. Was she still thinking about him and other women?

"I assure you it's true," he said quickly. "You're the only woman on my mind Liv. You know that, don't you?"

"So after we met, you haven't lusted after anyone else again?"

"No."

"Really? There was no one?"

Elliot sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. Were they doing this _again_?

"Why do you want to know, Liv?" he asked, a little frustrated.

Olivia was silent for a few moments then, and he realized she must be taking his comment the wrong way. She probably thought he'd been back to his old ways after she'd rejected him in October. He took a deep breath and answered her question with one word.

"One."

"What?"

"One woman, one time, after you told me you were with Nick."

"Oh ..."

"And even then I felt like I was cheating on you so I never did it again."

"Oh ..."

"You really are the only woman on my mind Liv. You have to believe that."

"You got a blowjob from Amanda," she said in a small voice.

"I don't remember that honey. I only remember having the best dream about you."

"You're just saying that," she said softly, but he could tell that he was getting through to her.

"No, I'm not, and you know it."

He heard Olivia take a shaky breath and he wished he could be there with her to take her in his arms.

"I really miss you," he said quietly.

"I miss you too. Just eighteen more days El."

Elliot groaned. Eighteen days was a lot better than five weeks, but it was still a long wait.

"I'm hoping to get at least four days off. I'm not sure my Captain will approve a whole week but he knows you're coming, so I think we'll be able to spend some quality time together."

"I am really looking forward to spending quality time with you El."

He could hear the smile in her voice and was relieved that she wasn't questioning his sexual activities anymore. He knew it would take some time for her to trust him on that implicitly, and once again, he wished they didn't live so far apart. Thinking about Olivia always made him happy and sad at the same time and he really couldn't wait for her to come to New York.

...

"One?"

Kathy's jaw dropped.

"That's even better than I thought!"

Olivia couldn't help grinning from ear to ear. Kathy spread her arms and made an inviting gesture with her hands.

"Alright, give it to me Liv. Give it to me."

Olivia laughed and told her friend,

"Yes, you were right Kath! I admit it. I'm very glad I asked. He actually felt like he was cheating on me, so he couldn't do it again."

Kathy pulled her into a spontaneous hug.

"I'm so happy for you Liv. And if you want to drag his perfect ass to the condo every night, I won't stop you."

Olivia giggled and when her mind wandered to Elliot's sculpted body, again, she had to suppress a moan. She appreciated the fact that Elliot wanted to take it slow with her, but his ass _would_ be hers once she got to New York.

"Oh yeah," Kathy sighed, reading the expression on her friend's face. "He does have a perfect ass. I've never seen one quite like it."

"And he's all mine," Olivia said.

"All yours honey. Just seventeen more days."

...

...

 **A/N Apologies again for the very short chapter. I will try to do better next time! Meanwhile, reviews make me happy ;)**


	35. Meeting Munch

**Yes, after a Monday update, I actually managed to write a Friday update as well this week!  
I was going to write Liv & El's reunion in one go but this chapter was getting way too long, so here is part one of Olivia's arrival in New York. Enjoy!**

...

 **35\. Meeting Munch**

"Just three more days."

That's how Olivia started their phone conversation, and Elliot grinned. They had both been counting the days and it was Wednesday, January 30 now. He was relieved that Olivia hadn't freaked out again over the past two weeks. They had both been busy working, but now that Olivia and Kathy had started packing she told him she was becoming jittery.

"No second thoughts?" he asked her jokingly but Olivia didn't even have a comeback. That had to mean she was totally nervous and excited to see him again.

"I will try to be home Saturday, but if I have to work, you could come to the station," he told her.

"To the police station?"

Olivia sounded a little in awe of the idea, but she recovered quickly.

"That will be cool. Visiting my boyfriend at the police station," she mused.

Elliot's brain practically stopped functioning when he heard her say 'boyfriend'. Olivia was chatting on about their flight, that would leave around eleven on Saturday morning so they would have to get up early to get to the nearest airport in time. They would arrive in New York early in the afternoon and would get settled at Rafael's condo before going over to see him.

"I'll call you from the airport before we take off. Just let me know whether you're at work then, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Elliot said quickly, trying to focus on what Olivia was saying.

He was her boyfriend. That's what she called him. After ending the call, he still had a silly grin on his face when he walked into his bathroom to get ready for the night.

"You're her boyfriend," he told the reflection in the mirror, and he laughed out loud.

In just three days, she would be here. In New York. In his apartment. In his arms. In his bed. She was coming over for a whole week and he was pretty certain he wouldn't be able to hold back for that long. It hadn't been difficult at all for him to abstain from sex with other women, but with her ... she was the only one he wanted now, and he knew she wanted him too. They'd had a few very suggestive phone conversations over the past two weeks, and he'd even needed to relieve himself after a particularly sexy call from her.

After brushing his teeth Elliot climbed into bed and tried to relax, but his mind had started wandering again. He could already feel himself getting hard under the blankets and he wondered how long they could keep going like this. He knew that technically, they had only been together less than a week if they counted they days they had actually spent together, but he was completely committed to Olivia. He wondered if it would be too soon to start talking about their living arrangements. He was prepared to move and find a different job to be with her, but he didn't want to overwhelm her. Logical reasoning would be to take things slow, but he wasn't very logical when it came to this girl. She was the one for him, no doubts at all about that. He just needed to give her some time to see that they were meant to be together.

His hand had drifted down his body under the covers and he squeezed the beginnings of his erection.

"Easy boy," he said out loud in the dark bedroom. "Just a few more days."

...

Olivia was so nervous that she could hardly sleep the night before they would leave. She had already said goodbye to Sharon and Simon, and was staying over at Kathy's so they could get ready to leave together. They would take a bus to the airport and would have to leave very early to catch their 10.55 flight from Richmond. She was tossing and turning in bed, until Kathy told her to please lie still.

"There will be plenty of time to mess around in bed once we get there," Kathy said, en Olivia punched her friend in the arm.

"Very funny Kath," she mumbled. "I'm just nervous, okay?"

"I know hun, but I really need some sleep right now. If you're gonna be like this each time you're going to see each other again, maybe you should consider moving a little closer to each other."

That got Olivia thinking and she tried to keep still, lying on her back next to Kathy. Moving closer to each other. Wasn't it a little early to think about something like that? It would make it a lot easier to see where this relationship was going, but how would they move closer together? She couldn't very well leave the town she'd grown up in, and all her friends and family, to move to New York. Could she? She knew her room at Sharon's would be waiting for her, and her job at Dana's as well, so it really wasn't a huge risk to take. She blew out a breath, earning her another sigh from Kathy, and closed her eyes. She really should get some sleep before the busy day that was ahead of them.

She startled awake the next morning when Kathy's alarm started blaring, and sat up immediately.

"What time is it?" she asked, almost sounding panicked.

"Relax," mumbled Kathy, who had silenced her alarm by swinging her arm at it, and who was covering her eyes with one arm now.

"The bus leaves at eight, right?" Olivia asked, already swinging her legs out of bed.

"Yeah, and it's six thirty now. Plenty of time," Kathy replied groggily.

"I have to take a shower and check my bags, and I'll need at least two cups of coffee before we leave. Oh, and we should bring something to eat too."

She was babbling and Kathy was not amused. The blonde told her to go ahead and take a shower, and she would make some breakfast and coffee for both of them.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked, and her friend waved her arm at her.

"Yes. Please. Go."

Olivia grinned. Kathy wasn't really a morning person but she knew she'd come around within half an hour. Olivia ducked into the bathroom to take a shower, giving her friend a few minutes of peace so she could wake up slowly.

...

Elliot groaned when his phone rang, Cragen's unmistakable ringtone filling his apartment. It was 10 am and he was expecting Olivia to call at any moment to let him know if their plane was leaving on time.

"No no no!" he yelled before standing up and locating his phone. "Not today," he mumbled and then answered.

"Stabler."

"Elliot, I'm sorry but I have no choice but to call you in. I know your friend is coming today and if all goes well we can wrap this case up in a day. I'll let you go as soon as it's at all possible."

Elliot knew his boss meant well but he really had hoped he'd be able to surprise Olivia and go to the airport to pick up the girls. He was glad now that he hadn't mentioned it to Olivia yet. He would hate to disappoint her. Cragen gave him the details of the case. A twenty-year old girl who still lived with her parents accused her next-door neighbor of raping her. Jeffries was with the girl at the hospital, where a rape kit was being done and he needed Elliot and Fin to find the neighbor and bring him in. Elliot wanted to ask if he couldn't send Fin and Munch, but reconsidered. The neighbor probably wouldn't come quietly, and while Munch was a very reliable cop, he wasn't the fastest or the strongest anymore.

"Fin is already en route and he'll swing by your place to pick you up within an hour," Cragen told him and Elliot closed his eyes.

"Yes sir," he said curtly before hanging up.

Olivia tried to hide her disappointment when she called ten minutes later, but he could hear it in her voice anyway.

"Alright, we'll just take a cab and go to the condo first like we planned. I'll call you once we get there, and we'll see if you're free then."

"Okay honey. I'm really sorry," Elliot said, but Olivia told him it was fine.

"We'll have plenty of time to see each other, right?" she said. "And if it takes too long, we'll just come to the police station."

He could tell she still thought that would be a cool idea and he smiled despite his mood.

"I can't wait to see you," he said softly.

"Me too," Olivia replied equally softly, and he guessed Kathy was right next to her.

"Have a safe flight Liv."

"I'll text you when we're settled in."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Bye Liv."

"Bye El."

He'd never get used to saying goodbye to Olivia. He sighed and forced himself to get ready to leave. Fin would be there soon.

...

They had an uneventful flight and Olivia's excitement had finally transferred to Kathy as well. Once they had collected their luggage, they went to find a cab. They couldn't believe how many there were, coming and going continuously. Olivia had written down their temporary address and read it to the cab driver, who cocked an eyebrow and grinned at both women.

"Rich ladies, huh?"

"Naah, we just have a rich friend," Kathy was quick to say.

Right. No need to give anyone the wrong impression. They were in the big city now and had to be cautious. The driver was alright though, and drove them straight to the enormous Sky House where Rafael's condo was. He wished them a pleasant stay in New York and once they'd paid him and he was gone, they stood in front of the impressive building with their suitcases.

"Wow," Kathy sighed.

"Yeah," Olivia said.

They were actually in the Big Apple now, and Olivia was a little overwhelmed at how big the city really was. She was now near Elliot, but it didn't feel like that at all. It was easy to get lost in the huge city and suddenly she was eager to get inside and go up to their temporary home. Rafael had given them his keys and keycard, but had asked them to report to the building manager as well, so he'd know that they were Mr. Barba's guests.

The manager welcomed them and explained to them how the various services in the building worked. He gave them a complimentary map of Manhattan, indicating where they could find stores and restaurants and such, so they'd find their way around quickly. Apparently, Rafael had called him to let him know they were coming. They accepted the map and then found the elevator to take them up to their floor.

The apartment was incredible and they could hardly believe they would be staying here. They checked out all the rooms and Olivia told Kathy she could have the master bedroom. The second bedroom wasn't smaller, it was just further away from the kitchen. When they found the spacious bathrooms, they both decided to take a shower and change into fresh clothes. They unpacked, and agreed that there was definitely room for more clothes in the huge closets. They would have fun shopping and would worry about lugging everything back home later. Maybe Rafael would let them keep a few things in the apartment.

Around 3.30 pm, Olivia flopped down on the huge white couch in the middle of the living room and grabbed her phone. She didn't have a text from Elliot so she guessed he was still working. She quickly typed him a message.

 _'We are at the condo. Where are you? x Liv'_

She received a reply ten minutes later.

 _'Our perp made a run for it but we're closing in on him. Will call when we go back to the station. Sry. x El'_

Kathy had gotten acquainted with their kitchen, and had made them some tea. They drank it quietly, enjoying the wonderful view of the city.

"You wanna go over to the police station and wait for him there?" Kathy asked her after a while.

Her friend knew that she was eager to see Elliot, but she was nervous as well. It had been a long five weeks, and she didn't know what it would be like to actually see him again. What if she had made him much more perfect in her head than he really was? What if he had made _her_ much more perfect in her head than she really was? She was immensely grateful that Kathy had come with her, and when Kathy stood up and simply said that they were going, she agreed. She had come to see Elliot, and they'd take it from there. She dug up Elliot's business card and they tried to find the address of the 1-6 on the map. It was too far to walk, so they would have to take another cab.

...

Olivia couldn't believe how many people were working on a Saturday. There were police officers and other people buzzing around everywhere in the building, and it took the women a while to find the right floor and then the right department. When they walked into the Special Victims Unit, a greying man in a suit stood up to greet them.

"Good afternoon ladies, can I help you?" he asked them, looking over the rim of a pair of glasses that were balancing on his nose.

"We're looking for Elliot Stabler," Olivia replied, and the man smiled immediately.

"Then you must be Olivia. It is so nice to meet you my dear! John Munch, at your service."

Munch shook her hand excitedly with both hands and Olivia couldn't help smiling back at him. The older man then turned to Kathy and shook her hand as well.

"And Kathy, the best friend. Welcome to New York."

He urged them to sit down, Olivia in Elliot's seat of course, and Kathy across from her, in his partner's seat. He got them both a cup of coffee and they accepted politely, although the smell already told them it was extremely strong stuff.

"Elliot and his partner Fin have been on a wild goose chase for a while unfortunately," the man started explaining to them. "But I understand that they have now located the suspect and will try to apprehend him and bring him in. Our Captain has promised to let Elliot go for a few days after that."

Olivia was glad to hear that Elliot would actually get a few days off after today. Meanwhile, it was interesting to take a peek in his world. She looked at all the things on his desk, and saw a picture of Elliot with an older and a younger woman. They were his mother and sister, no doubt. She spotted a chewed-up pen and couldn't resist picking it up and smelling it. Kathy smirked at her but didn't make a comment. Olivia's stomach clenched, as it had done several times already. She was really here.

Elliot's co-worker was nice and he didn't seem busy, so she asked him to tell her something about Elliot.

"Elliot," Munch said solemnly, sitting down on the desk next to Elliot's. "He is a fine, fine man. Good cop, great with the victims. He's got a heart of gold."

"Have you known him long?" she asked, winking at Kathy, who was trying to look like she wasn't listening and was turning Fin's chair from left to right.

"Oh yes, I was here when he joined the unit. Must have been about seven years ago."

The older man went on to tell them a few funny anecdotes about Elliot's earlier cases, and had both women laughing out loud after a while.

"We need some gallows humor around here, or we wouldn't be able to shake off the stuff we see," Munch explained. "No need to drag all of it home with us."

"Are you married, Mr. Munch?" Olivia asked him, wondering what 'home' was for him.

"I was married four times," Munch told her proudly.

"Four times, wow," Kathy sighed. "What went wrong?"

"I'm not sure anything went wrong, miss Kathy. My marriages have all just run their course."

Olivia thought that was a very detached way of putting it. It must have hurt to end four relationships.

"It must have hurt though," she mused. "How did you recover to do it again, and so often too?"

Munch looked at her attentively and took his time before answering her. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully when he spoke again.

"Miss Olivia, I loved all my wives with all my heart. I still love them and I wouldn't trade my time with them for anything."

"Weren't you afraid the second or third time around, that it wouldn't work out again?"

The older man seemed to know exactly why she was asking him this. Kathy had stopped turning her chair around and waited quietly with her for Munch to speak again.

"Olivia, fear is the worst motivation to do or not to do anything. Fear paralyzes and can rob you of the best experiences of your life. I loved my fourth wife as much and as freely as I did my first wife. All things come to an end eventually. If we would only choose things that we are certain to last forever, we would never choose to get out of bed in the morning. Death lasts forever. And love ...? If you choose well, love will too. Love lasts beyond the grave and beyond temporary relationships. When you find someone to love, never run away from it. Run _to_ it and embrace it. It is the only way to truly be alive."

Olivia was stunned and moved by the man's words and didn't know what to say. She glanced at Kathy, who was biting her lip. Munch seemed to be content with what he had said, and stood up to put a hand on Olivia's shoulder. She wanted to say something. To thank him for his wisdom, but she was too overwhelmed. A phone started ringing and Munch moved away from her to answer it.

"Yes Fin? You got the guy? ... Okay. ... Olivia and her friend are here with me. I'll tell them. Tell him we're on our way."

Olivia had seen worry flit across the older man's face and stood up slowly when he ended the call with Elliot's partner. What was going on?

"That was Elliot's partner," Munch said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "They're at the hospital. Elliot was stabbed."

...

...

 **A/N: Dun dun! I'm evil, I know. Let me know how badly you want the next chapter, and I'll see what I can do.**


	36. Reunited

**I worked hard to get this one ready, because I may have given the impression that I would update again on Monday.  
Note to reviewer Faith Ann Tucker: a funeral? I know I'm evil but I'm not _that_ cruel! Lol.  
I actually used a few lines from the show in this chapter, so see if you recognize the episode. The context of this story is entirely different of course, but it was fun to use these lines while introducing a new character in the story. I'll post the corresponding pictures on Twitter with the update notification tweet. Enjoy!**

...

 **36\. Reunited**

 _Olivia had seen worry flit across the older man's face and stood up slowly when he ended the call with Elliot's partner. What was going on?_

 _"That was Elliot's partner," Munch said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "They're at the hospital. Elliot was stabbed."_

Olivia covered her mouth with her hand. Stabbed? Kathy was next to her in a second and grabbed her other hand. Both women looked at Munch.

"How bad?" Olivia managed to whisper.

"He was stabbed in his right arm,"" Munch explained quickly. "He's at the ER now but he wouldn't shut up about you and Kathy, that you're counting on him to be here, so that's why Fin called. I'll take you to him now."

Both friends looked at each other and Kathy squeezed Olivia's hand.

"In the arm. That's not so bad," Kathy said encouragingly, and Olivia nodded.

She was still a little shaken up, and suddenly it wasn't so cool to have a boyfriend who was a cop. It was a dangerous job. John Munch went into the Captain's office to tell his commanding officer what had happened, and that he wanted to take the ladies to see Elliot. Captain Cragen came out of his office with Munch and smiled sadly at the two women.

"I'm Donald Cragen and I'm so sorry that you're getting such a scare on your first day in town."

He shook their hands and Olivia forced a smile, but she really wanted to get out of there and to the hospital. Turning to Munch, Cragen said,

"I'll take them to see Elliot. I want to see for myself how he's doing anyway. The suspect is en route?"

Munch nodded, saying two uniformed officers were bringing him in and Fin was on his way too.

"Good. You and Fin can interrogate him. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Yes sir."

Olivia was relieved when they finally started walking out of the squad room. During the drive to Mercy General Hospital they were quiet. Elliot's boss was nice enough, but they were all worried about Elliot. She was glad once again that Kathy was with her. Just having her friend near helped her to keep her balance and not freak out. Cragen flashed his badge when they got to the ER and both friends glanced at each other. That badge seemed to do the trick and they were brought to the doctor that was treating Elliot's injuries immediately.

"Doctor. You have detective Stabler here?" Cragen asked. "His girlfriend and her friend are anxious to know how he's doing."

The blonde doctor, a handsome man in his thirties who clearly knew the Captain, shook Cragen's hand and then turned to the two women.

"I'm doctor Kyle Beresford and I've just checked and cleaned detective Stabler's wounds. He will need a few stitches but you can see him now if you want."

They wanted that, and they all followed doctor Beresford to a treatment room right next to the ER area. Olivia's stomach clenched and she bit her lip when they filed into the room and she saw him. Elliot, in the flesh. The first thing she saw was his broad, bare chest and the second, the big gash in his right upper arm. Then their eyes met and she wanted to cry from relief.

"Liv," Elliot mumbled and she rushed to his left side, ignoring all the other people in the room for the moment.

Elliot reached for her with his left arm and when she sat down on the edge of the bed, he pulled her into him immediately, making her lose her balance and collide with his bare chest. Olivia wrapped her right arm around his neck and hid her face in the crook of his neck. She inhaled, taking in his familiar scent. Elliot kissed her neck and she did the same before sitting upright. She didn't want to knock his injured arm and make things worse.

"I'm so sorry," Elliot started, but Olivia shushed him immediately.

"No, I'm just glad you're going to be okay."

Elliot looked over Olivia's shoulder at Kathy and Cragen then, and waved at them.

"Hey guys. Not the best place for a reunion, right?"

Kathy chuckled and just waved back at him. Dr. Beresford moved to Ellíot's right side to sedate him locally and then start stitching him up.

"You'll feel a slight pinch, and then in a few seconds your arm will be numb," he told Elliot, who replied,

"It's already numb."

"How are you feeling?" Cragen asked.

"Like a million bucks," Elliot answered, winking at Olivia, who had moved away from the bed to let the doctor work.

Cragen pulled up two chairs for Olivia and Kathy to sit while he stood.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Olivia asked the doctor.

"The knife came close to severing his radial nerve. He's lucky," doctor Beresford explained while dabbing the cut with alcohol one last time.

"I'll be ready for work," Elliot said, looking at his boss.

"Not until you regain full feeling in your arm and hand," the doctor told him.

"Puts you on the DL," Cragen said firmly.

"You're gonna put me on the DL with our caseload?" Elliot asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Cragen exchanged a glance with Olivia and then told his detective,

"Elliot, I'd rather lose you for a few weeks than go to your retirement party. Two weeks doc?"

"At least," doctor Beresford confirmed while getting his needle and thread ready.

Kathy was watching the doctor's every move and Olivia realized she had a professional interest in what he was doing. Kathy loved working in the ER herself. Olivia looked away though, not needing to see the man sow Elliot back together, and she looked at Cragen in stead.

"Looks like he'll have a longer vacation than we planned," the older man remarked. "Good thing you're here to look after him."

"Yeah," Olivia said, smiling.

She looked at Elliot again, who was now grinning at her.

"Right," he said. "I'm off duty Liv. We have all the time in the world to hang out."

Before Olivia could respond, Elliot looked at the doctor.

"So doc, any restriction on activities while I recover from this?"

Kyle Beresford stopped stitching for a moment and looked up at his patient.

"You know, I haven't seen my girlfriend in weeks so ...," Elliot clarified, moving his eyebrows up and down twice to make his point.

Captain Cragen was suddenly very interested in what was going on in the hallway but Kathy just grinned and punched Olivia in the arm. She frowned at her friend, but both Elliot and the good doctor seemed to be completely okay with the subject.

"You want to know if you can have sex," doctor Beresford said. "Well, I don't see why not. The only thing to keep in mind is that you can't lean on your right arm, so take that in to consideration when choosing a position."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Elliot said happily, winking at Olivia. "We'll figure it out."

Olivia rolled her eyes and decided that this was okay. She wasn't a prude, she was just a little off her game with all the drama that had been going on, and she hadn't expected him to bring something like that up in front of his boss. Elliot reached for her and she put her hand in his, smiling at him. Seeing him again had not made her doubt their relationship at all. He was still the wonderful guy he had been when they were together before. And now he'd be off duty for at least two weeks. Maybe she could stay a while longer too ...

When the doctor was finally ready and Elliot had been bandaged up, Cragen headed back to the office after making sure they would all get home safely. They'd take a cab and the women would make sure that Elliot took it easy for a while. The doctor left to get Elliot his discharge papers and Kathy left the two lovebirds alone for a bit. Olivia sat next to Elliot on the bed again.

"Hey," he said softly, taking in her beautiful appearance once more.

She was wearing a soft, light blue V-neck sweater over a white shirt, and tight jeans that looked great on her. He loved that she was still growing out her hair, that was now reaching her shoulders. She kept swiping her bangs out of her eyes to one side and it looked like she was going to grow them out as well. She looked absolutely stunning. And she was actually here in New York.

"Hey," Olivia replied, smiling and rubbing his left shoulder gently.

"Welcome to New York."

"Thank you."

"How 'bout a kiss?"

Her eyes sparkled when she leaned in to kiss him, and he wrapped his left arm around her waist to hold her close while their lips finally met after five long weeks. Olivia moaned softly and Elliot closed his eyes, deepening their kiss and reveling in the feeling of her soft lips and tongue against his, and her warm body against his chest. Their suspect had taken him completely by surprise, whipping out a knife just when he thought they had him cornered against a wall. Fin had been quick to react and had shot the man in the thigh, bringing him to his knees at last, literally. Elliot had registered the sharp pain in his arm and had sagged against the wall. All he could think about in those moments was Olivia. He needed to get to her and he couldn't get injured. Only he had been injured.

Now, she was finally in his arms again, and it felt so good. He rubbed her hip gently with his right hand. He was glad he was still able to move that arm. When they broke off the intense kiss, Olivia leaned her forehead against his and sighed.

"This wasn't how we'd planned this, is it?" he asked her, and she shook her head.

"No. But I'm really glad to see you again."

"Will you two come to my place with me when I can leave here?"

"Sure. I want to see where you live. But maybe afterwards we can take you with us to Rafael's condo? I don't want Kathy to feel like the fifth wheel, and there's plenty of room at the condo for all of us."

She smiled seductively when she added,

"So I'm sure I'll be able to take care of you there."

Elliot smiled as well. He loved Olivia's flirty side. Holding back had served its purpose. It had convinced Olivia that he hadn't just come back to her for sex. But if she would try to seduce him now, he knew he wouldn't be able to resist.

"How were you planning to take care of me, Olivia Benson?" he asked, equally suggestively.

"You just wait and see, Elliot Stabler. Just know that I have plans for you."

"You know I'm not allowed to lean on my arm, right? So I'm afraid you'll have to do all the work."

He had to make an effort to keep a straight face, but Olivia saw right through him.

"You wish!" she exclaimed, swatting his chest. "There's more ways than one to keep the weight off your arms, detective. Be creative."

"I'm sure we'll figure it out," Elliot promised.

She leaned in to kiss him again and it was quiet for a while in the treatment room, except for a few soft sighs and moans and moist lips mashing together while they made up for lost time. After several minutes, Olivia rested her head against Elliot's left shoulder, her face turned away from him. Elliot caressed her back. She was finally here and he never wanted to let her go again. He hoped they would be able to build their relationship this week, and find ways to see each other more often. He kissed the back of her head and then looked at the doorway of his room. What he saw was very interesting and he nudged Olivia.

"Hey Liv, look."

Olivia lifted her head to look at him, and then looked behind her, following his gaze. Kathy was in the hallway, talking to doctor Kyle Beresford. They were standing close together and Kathy was all smiles. So was the doctor for that matter.

"Oh my," Olivia said softly.

"Yeah. Oh look, here come the phone numbers."

And sure enough, Kathy was scribbling something on the doctor's notepad while he fished a business card out of his pocket and wrote something on the back. Their faces were almost touching while they checked out each other's notes, but they didn't seem to notice. Or they didn't mind.

"Kathy is landing herself a doctor," Olivia said. "Good for her."

"He's a great guy," Elliot said. "Hard worker, good with the patients. He loves the ER."

The two people in the hallway turned to return to the room, and Olivia turned back around to face Elliot. She put a finger over her lips quickly before moving off the bed and turning around again. The doctor approached Elliot and handed him his discharge papers and a prescription for painkillers.

"Don't stop using these too soon," he warned Elliot, and he glanced at Olivia. "Remind him of that, okay?"

"Of course," Olivia said.

Kathy stood next to her but only had eyes for the doctor. Typical, Olivia thought. Kathy was an all-or-nothing type of person. She would jump in head first, as usual. She remembered the words of John Munch. _When you find someone to love, never run away from it. Run to it and embrace it. It is the only way to truly be alive._ The man knew what he was talking about, and so did Kathy. It was time for her to leave Dean behind her and start living again.

Elliot caught her staring at him and wondered what she was thinking. He moved his legs off the bed after listening to the doctors instructions patiently, and reached for his t-shirt that was at the foot of the bed. His shirt had been ruined and he'd asked Fin to toss it in the trash after a nurse had cut it off him. Olivia stepped forward quickly to help him put his t-shirt on. He pulled her closer to him until she was standing between his knees. She smiled at him then, and he could see it was a happy smile.

"Ready to get out of here?" she asked him while helping him get his wounded arm through the sleeve carefully before pulling the shirt over his head.

"Absolutely. Let's go home."

Olivia smirked.

"Your place or mine?"

"Oh, that sounds so good," he sighed.

She kissed him softly on the lips before helping him stand up, and whispered,

"Yes, it does."

...

...

 **A/N: Well, I hope I made up for the evil cliff hanger of the previous chapter. All is well with our lovebirds and Kathy may be finding a love interest in New York as well. How 'bout that? Please leave a review, it motivates me to keep writing!**


	37. Don't stop

**37\. Don't stop**

Elliot was feeling tired but content. He was sitting on his couch, watching his two guests check out his apartment together. Kathy had urged him to sit, because his body needed the rest so it would heal faster. Just his luck to have a nurse buzzing around him, he thought. But she was probably right. His arm was beginning to throb a little, and although he was trying to hide it, Kathy's sharp eye noticed his discomfort anyway, and she had practically ordered him to start taking his pain medication, before the sedation would wear off completely.

However, one of the side-effects of the pain meds was drowsiness, so Elliot wasn't very eager to take them. He had ordered takeout for all of them and by the time they had finished eating, he was practically falling asleep.

"We should get going before he's out cold," Kathy said and Olivia nodded.

This wasn't exactly how Olivia had envisioned their first evening together in New York. She was very relieved that his injuries weren't any worse, but it was a little disappointing to see him in this weakened state. Elliot had handed Kathy the keys to his jeep, and they managed to find their way through the streets of New York and back to the condo. The building manager had explained to them how to get into the parking garage and after making sure the jeep was properly locked, they took the elevator up to their apartment.

Elliot was duly impressed but when he swayed a little on his feet, Kathy suggested that Olivia put him to bed.

"He won't be of much use to you right now Liv, so I expect you'll join me back here?"

Olivia grinned and stuck out her tongue before picking up Elliot's duffel bag and pointing him to her bedroom. She helped him out of his jeans and into bed, and lay with him for a few minutes, just enjoying his presence. Elliot was ready to fall asleep though, apologizing to her for the twentieth time.

"It's okay baby. You just rest," she told him. "I'm sure we'll have some fun later on."

"You bet," he mumbled, giving her a lopsided grin before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Olivia kissed him softly on the forehead and stroked his cheek before leaving him alone. He was here now, and he wouldn't be this sleepy the whole week. She could wait a little longer. She rejoined Kathy in the living room and they read the information leaflet of Elliot's painkillers together. He'd have to take them every six hours for at least five days before he could try to take less of the pills, and he was allowed to use aspirin in between. Olivia counted on her fingers at what time she'd need to wake him up for his next dose.

"If you play it smart, you make sure he's wide awake when he takes the next pill," Kathy said. "The drowsiness won't set in for about an hour after taking it, so ..."

Olivia chuckled but she was grateful for Kathy's understanding and her knowledge of these things. They poured themselves a drink and when they were finally settled in on the couch together, Olivia couldn't hide her curiosity any longer.

"Sooo ...," she said slowly. "About that doctor."

Kathy's face lit up instantly.

"Isn't he the dreamiest?" she said, imitating how they had discussed boys back when they were twelve or thirteen.

They both laughed out loud and Olivia patted her friend on the arm.

"So you have his phone number."

"Yeah."

"Are you going to wait until he calls you?"

"Should I? What do you think?"

"I don't know. Elliot says he's a great guy."

"He knows him? What else did he say?"

They went back and forth a few more times and Kathy said she would need to pump Elliot for information soon. Just when they were getting ready to turn in, Kathy's phone beeped, letting her know she had a text message. Olivia glanced at the clock. It was past eleven already. Kathy grabbed her phone and read the text.

"It's from Kyle," she said excitedly.

"What does he say?"

"He wants to know if it's too late to call."

"So call him!"

"Should I?"

Kathy was suddenly the insecure one of the two, and Olivia the one to encourage her.

"Of course. He's still up and making contact. Go on!"

Kathy put a finger over her lips and Olivia chuckled. She wasn't going to promise to be quiet. Kathy pressed the call button and Kyle answered on the first ring. Olivia started cleaning up while listening to her friend talking to the man she'd only just met that afternoon. She was glad Elliot knew the doctor. You could never be too careful in the big city, but Kyle seemed to be one of the good guys. It sounded like Kathy was agreeing to meet him somewhere and after she had ended the call, Olivia looked at her expectantly.

"And?"

"He wants to go out tomorrow night."

"And?"

"Can we make it a double date? With you and Elliot?"

Olivia scrunched up her nose.

"I'm not sure he'll be fit enough to go out tomorrow night Kath. We'll have to wait and see. But you _are_ meeting Kyle, right? With or without us?"

Kathy grinned and her eyes were sparkling.

"We _have_ to go shopping for an outfit tomorrow!" Olivia said happily, as if they really needed an excuse to go shopping. "Elliot won't be much fun tomorrow anyway," she added with a smirk.

She was still grinning when they split up for the night and she walked into her bedroom. When she saw Elliot sleeping peacefully, she took a deep breath. It wasn't really funny that he was injured, and while she was looking forward to going into the city with her best friend, she wished Elliot could go with them. She ducked into the bathroom quickly to clean her face and brush her teeth before crawling into bed with Elliot. He stirred a little but didn't wake up, and Olivia just watched him for a while. He was the handsomest man she'd ever laid eyes on, she thought. And when she realized what she was telling herself, she sighed. Thinking he was the handsomest man alive could only mean one thing. She really was in love.

...

When Elliot woke up, he needed a minute to realize where he was. It was pitch dark and it had to be the middle of the night. He heard a soft sound next to him and reached out to touch whatever it was that was making the sound. His hand connected with soft skin and when he moved his fingers to feel what it was, he remembered. It was Olivia. She was here in New York. She had been snoring softly and he was touching her cheek. He moved his hand lower until he felt her shoulder. She was wearing a top with spaghetti straps and he continued moving his hand lower, needing to know what else she was - or wasn't - wearing. He had kept his t-shirt and boxer briefs on himself when Olivia had helped him get into bed. He'd really been out of it and hoped he would get used to those pain killers a little. He wasn't going to be of much use to Olivia if he kept falling asleep on her. But he was awake now and wondered what time it was.

Olivia sighed and turned on her side so she was now facing him. Elliot still couldn't see her, but he could feel she was wearing the top and panties, and that was it. His body started to react to her proximity, and he wished he could use his right arm better. Olivia was lying on his left side, and he felt clumsy, trying to touch her with his left hand. The fingers of his right hand were a bit numb though, so he wouldn't feel much if he touched her with that hand. Not as much as he would want to, that's for sure. He rested his left hand on Olivia's hip and lay on his back, wondering if she would mind if he woke her up. Before he could decide one way or the other, he heard an alarm go off. He saw a faint glow coming from the nightstand on Olivia's side of the bed. It had to be her phone.

Olivia groaned and turned on her back to reach for the phone. His hand ended up on her lower abdomen because she had turned, and Elliot stayed perfectly still while Olivia grabbed her phone and switched off the alarm. He wondered why she had set it to go off in the middle of the night. Olivia turned back towards him and took a hold of his left hand.

"Elliot," she whispered and he smiled in the dark. She had no idea he was awake.

He felt Olivia move again and she must have propped herself up on one elbow, because her voice came from above him when she whispered his name again.

"Elliot."

"Hmmm," he said, trying to sound sleepy.

"It's time for your painkiller," she said softly, moving her hand to his shoulder and rubbing it gently.

"Nooo," he whined softly. "It'll put me back to sleep."

Olivia chuckled softly and switched on a bedside lamp.

"Hey," he said, looking up at her.

"Hey," she said, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess. I just woke up."

He couldn't help admiring Olivia's feminine curves and grinned when she dipped her head to make him look her in the eyes again.

"My eyes are up here, detective," she said, but she was smiling widely.

"Sorry babe, but you're just so beautiful."

Olivia turned away from him quickly but he could see she was smiling again.

"You have to take that pill now. One every six hours," she announced, grabbing the pill box and a glass of water from her nightstand. "You won't get sleepy right away, I promise."

Elliot's eyebrows shot up and when she looked at him again, she bit her lip. She looked adorable.

"I'll take the pill Liv, but I really want to kiss you."

"I'm sure that can be arranged," she promised.

Elliot sat up and took the pill with the glass of water and watched her intently while she set the glass back on the nightstand. He wrapped his arm around her waist then and pulled her into him.

"C'mere you," he said before capturing her lips with his.

Olivia gave in immediately and he groaned when she draped her body over his, pushing him back down on his back. They kissed slowly, deeply, and Elliot could feel himself getting hard right away. He had missed her so much and didn't know if he'd be able to hold back now that she was in his arms, and in a bed. Olivia moaned as well and moved over him completely until he was between her legs. She sat up on her knees and looked down at him, smiling seductively. He ran his hands up and down her bare thighs and then moved them up to slip under her top.

"Take it off," she whispered, and he swallowed hard.

When he didn't move fast enough, Olivia whipped the top off herself, exposing her beautiful full breasts to him. His hands went up automatically, cupping her breasts and squeezing them gently. His right hand wasn't functioning the way he liked so he dropped it to his side. Olivia leaned forward to kiss him, leaning her elbows next to his head, and he moved his left hand to her back and down, until he could cup her perfect ass.

"I want you, Liv," he sighed against her lips, closing his eyes.

"I'm here," she whispered back, rolling her hips and making him moan again.

She sat up and started tugging his shirt up. He raised his arms so she could pull it off of him, and reached for her. She lowered herself again to kiss him, and he groaned when he felt her hardened nipples scrape his bare chest. Olivia moved to the side then to remove his boxer briefs and her own panties, and then straddled him again.

"My bag," Elliot croaked, his need for her growing fast, and visibly so.

"Way ahead of you," Olivia said softly.

She leaned over him and he used the opportunity to kiss her breasts while she grabbed a condom from the nightstand on his side of the bed.

"You planned this," he said, his voice hoarse with excitement.

Olivia just gave him a sly smile while she moved back down his body until his rock-hard erection came into view.

"It's been almost seven months Elliot," she said. "You can't make me wait any longer."

He closed his eyes when she tore open the condom wrapper and grabbed his erection to put it on him. He couldn't believe this was really happening after so long. their one night together had been imprinted in his brain forever, but more nights were going to be added at last.

Once the condom was on securely, Olivia leaned forward again to kiss his chest. She was careful not to touch his right arm, but peppered just about every inch of his chest with small kisses. Elliot's hand caressed her back and tangled in her hair, and his heavy breathing excited her even more. Their mouths found each other again and they both moaned loudly, their tongues tangling and their bodies responding strongly to each other. Olivia didn't want to go slow. She had waited long enough and there would be time later to go slow. She broke off the kiss and moved her body into position, lifting her hips just enough for him to move his bobbing tip to her entrance.

"Impatient are we?" Elliot said with a cocky grin, but Olivia wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"Yes," she admitted out loud.

She moved down and forward then, and Elliot bucked up as soon as he started entering her.

"Me too," he whispered in her ear, and he pulled her close with his good arm so he could kiss her neck while their bodies joined together for the first time since that one night in July.

They groaned in unison and started to move together. Olivia latched on to his neck while Elliot closed his eyes and lay back, letting her take him completely. He didn't really mean for her to do all the work, but it was just happening this way and he was unable to think. They were speeding up together already, both feeling the need to move forward and be satisfied at last. Olivia tilted her hips, taking him in even deeper and panted while they kept going faster. She pushed herself up on her arms and looked down at the handsome man beneath her.

Elliot looked up at her and bucked up harder, making her gasp and then return the favor, pushing down hard. It was almost like a contest, and they spiraled out of control fast, continuing to go faster and harder. Elliot's pelvic bone was grinding against her clit so deliciously that Olivia was beginning to feel the burn in her body increase fast. She could feel Elliot's body tense up as well and she knew he was close.

"Oh baby," Elliot panted, squeezing his eyes shut and holding on to her hips with both hands.

"Oh yeah," Olivia sighed back. "Don't stop. Don't stop."

"Liv, I'm ..."

"Me too. Don't stop."

Olivia pushed down hard and Elliot stilled briefly. She could feel him swell up inside her and when he bucked up hard again, he was coming, swearing softly while holding on to her. Olivia dropped forward to her elbows and pushed down again and again, until an earthshattering orgasm ripped through her lower half, making her cry out in ecstasy.

"Oh ... my ... God," she panted, still moving and still coming and Elliot responded with a long, low groan.

"Oh baby, you're amazing," he croaked, continuing to move his hips slowly while Olivia came down from her high.

She felt so good, her body contracting around him, and he never wanted to be anywhere else than right here, buried inside the woman he loved. Olivia kissed his cheek and he turned his head to capture her lips with his.

"I love you so much," he mumbled between kisses and when Olivia slumped over him, sated at last, he rolled them over carefully until he was on his left side, his left arm supporting her neck and holding her close to him.

He knew it would take time before she'd say those words back to him, but he had hope. He had seen something in her eyes when she first saw him in the hospital, and he'd seen it again just now, when she had looked down at him while they made love. It was there and it was growing. He had hope that she would come to love him too.

...

...

 **A/N Ah, they are together at last. I hope this reunion lived up to your expectations of it! Do let me know, okay? More soon, can't promise when exactly but there will be more soon!**


	38. Going shopping

**38\. Going shopping**

Waking up together felt very right, and Elliot and Olivia kissed and cuddled for a while before getting up. Elliot's arm was still a little numb, but the painkillers seemed to be doing their job and he felt alright. Still, Olivia insisted on being careful for now, since he'd only been stabbed the day before. He let her leave the bed but promised her he wasn't going to be this careful all day. However, when the girls told him over breakfast that they were going shopping together, he understood that he was on his own for the day.

"You need to rest as much as possible, Elliot," Kathy told him sternly. "It's the quickest way to recover."

"Yeah, and you'd be bored out of your mind anyway if you came with us," Olivia added, winking at her best friend.

Elliot huffed a little, but it was only for show. He had to admit his body was a little shaken up from his injury, and he welcomed the day off. He was still hoping for some more quality time with Olivia later on though, and when he glanced at her, it was as if she was reading his mind.

"We won't be gone all day long El," she said, patting his arm. "And the more you rest now, the more energy you'll have later on."

Elliot smirked at her and shook his head.

"Oh, about that," Kathy chimed in. "I have a date tonight with Kyle. Do you think you'd be up to joining us with Olivia? Like a double date?"

Elliot couldn't promise anything yet, because he wasn't sure how the painkillers would continue to affect him.

"We'll just see how things are by the time you're ready to go, alright?" Olivia suggested. "Kyle _is_ picking you up here, right?"

She wouldn't want her friend to be out in the city all alone.

"He'd better," Elliot said. "Make sure that he does, okay?"

Olivia smiled. She loved how protective Elliot was, of her as well as her friend. He kept stressing that they should stay in plain sight at all times and not walk into alleys, and that they definitely should get back before dark.

"Yeah yeah dad," Kathy smirked before leaving them alone for a few minutes to say goodbye.

"We'll be fine El," Olivia said as they both stood up.

She gave him a hug and Elliot held on to her for a few seconds, kissing her neck.

"Be careful okay? Are you going to use the subway?"

"Probably, yeah. We don't want to spend all our cash on cab fare."

"Well, if you're not sure where you are or where you're going, take a cab anyway Liv. I'll pay the fare."

Olivia stood on her toes and kissed Elliot on the nose.

"You worry too much," she said softly.

"I've seen the worst of this city," he replied earnestly, and Olivia bit her lip.

He probably had. It was the part of his life that she knew the least about. She rubbed his back and promised him,

"We'll be careful El. And I'll text you throughout the day to let you know what we're up to. How does that sound?"

"Thank you," Elliot said softly, and she knew he really appreciated that she was trying to find a way to keep him from being worried about her.

"If you don't hear from me for two hours, you can send in the cavalry," she said with a smile.

Kathy came back into the room, and they said their final goodbyes before the girls were off to go shopping.

...

They had the best time in the city and found several outfits that were just irresistible. Texts were flying regularly, and once they were seated in a little coffee shop, Kathy showed her Kyle's latest message.

 _'Looking forward to tonight. I'll be there at eight. K.'_

"Eight?" Olivia said. "Elliot has to take his medication at eight and at two. He'll need to sleep for a while after that. Couldn't we join you a little later?"

Kathy thought that was actually a great idea. She could get to know Kyle better, and if the date didn't go well and things turned out to be a little awkward, at least they would have company later on. The girls took their time after lunch to find some accessories to go with their new outfits, and even bought some sexy underwear. Kathy questioned Olivia about her first night in New York with Elliot, and Olivia just smiled.

"I knew it," Kathy grinned. "A little injury can't stop you two. After this week, you won't ever want to leave. And if you wear _that_ for him," she added, pointing at the black and red lace Olivia was carrying to the counter of the lingerie store, "he won't let you leave!"

Olivia teased her friend a little about the white and blue lace she was carrying herself, and about landing herself a doctor, and they were still joking around when they left the lingerie store.

Olivia had sent Elliot a text around two, reminding him to take his pill, and wasn't surprised when he didn't answer her when she let him know at three thirty that they were heading back to the condo. He was probably fast asleep. They took the subway, since it was still light out, and they had to admit that they didn't always feel completely safe in the subway trains or on the platforms. They paid attention to their surroundings though, and managed to get all of their purchases home safely.

...

Elliot had been up for almost half an hour when he heard the girls come home. He had made some coffee for all of them and asked them what they'd bought.

"You'll just have to wait before you can see it," Olivia said with a sly smile, and he couldn't help wondering what kind of surprises she had in store for him.

Once they were all sitting comfortably with a cup of coffee, they discussed their plans for the evening. Elliot was all for staying in with Olivia for a bit, and she rolled her eyes at him. He could tell that she liked the idea as well though. He was glad Olivia was so relaxed now that she was in the city, and he made a mental note to thank the ice cream guy the next time he visited Olivia, for letting them all use his condo. Thinking about Olivia going back home made him a little sad. She'd only just gotten here but he was already dreading saying goodbye to her again.

Olivia rubbed his arm and looked at him with a hint of worry in her eyes. She could read him too well and asked him without words if he was alright. Elliot shrugged lightly and Olivia seemed to understand what he was thinking.

"Maybe you can come back with us," she said softly and he knew then that she really did understand. "You're off duty for two weeks, right?"

He leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek.

"You're amazing Liv," he whispered and she smiled shyly, gazing into his eyes.

"Alright, break it up," Kathy said loudly and they all chuckled. "Or go to your room if you can't control yourselves. I don't need a show."

"Subtle Kath, real subtle," Olivia fired back at her friend, but she did create a little distance between herself and Elliot.

The girls decided that they were going to cook dinner together and Elliot enjoyed watching them work. They'd already gotten all the groceries they needed on their way back from the subway station to the apartment, and a little while later, the smell of lasagna sauce filled the apartment. Elliot had to admit he was a little hungry. He had stayed in bed most of the day and hadn't bothered to eat lunch on his own. He shook his head at himself. He had been on his own for years but now that Olivia was here, he didn't feel like doing anything by himself anymore. He'd have to watch himself and not become too clingy. Something told him Olivia wouldn't appreciate that at all. She was being very sweet now, and careful because of his injury, but he knew she could get pretty feisty and he didn't want to suffocate her. He was pretty sure it would drive her away.

They ate together and Elliot laughed when the girls started running around nervously after dinner to get Kathy ready for her date. He had to admit the blonde looked stunning when they finally emerged from her bedroom. She had parted her long blonde hair to the side so it was hanging down one shoulder, and it practically glowed. Elliot had never preferred blondes but Kathy was glowing and beautiful, with just the right amount of makeup. She was wearing a dark blue fitting cocktail dress and matching high heels and Olivia put a white, fluffy winter coat around her friend's shoulders.

"Kyle is gonna die," Elliot said as he stood up to admire Kathy up close.

Kathy grinned nervously and Olivia smiled warmly at him, thanking him silently for his encouragement. Kathy was a strong woman who knew who she was and what she wanted, but right now she was a nervous wreck. He was glad she was going out with someone he knew and trusted.

"Now you'll text me the address of the place you're going, right?" Olivia instructed. "And we'll let you know if El can make it and what time either we or I will be there."

Elliot wasn't going to let Olivia go out alone, but he was wise enough not to say that out loud. He was coming with, pain or no pain.

Kathy jumped when the buzzer let them know Kyle had arrived and Elliot walked over to the intercom quickly, winking at both women. He pressed the button, and barked loudly,

"Who is this?"

Kathy was not amused and Olivia had to make an effort to keep her friend calm. She knew Elliot was just having some fun with the doctor, and that they knew each other, but Kathy was too stressed out to find it funny. They listened to both men going back and forth a few times and Kathy relaxed when she realized Kyle knew it was Elliot trying to pull his leg. By the time Kyle arrived at their front door, she was collected enough to receive him with a soft smile.

Olivia could tell that Kyle was impressed. When Elliot stood next to her, she wrapped her arm around his waist and smiled up at him.

"She'll be fine," he mouthed to her and she nodded.

They both gave the couple some unsolicited parental advice before they let them go, and Kathy was laughing again. As soon as the door closed behind the couple, Olivia felt Elliot's arms wrap around her.

"Alone at last," he mumbled in her hair, and she felt goose bumps break out all over her body.

"You have to take your pill first," she mumbled back, skimming his cheek with her lips while she spoke.

"You wanna put me to sleep _again_?"

"Not yet," she said huskily and Elliot groaned, pulling her hips close to his.

"Pill," Olivia repeated and she shivered when Elliot whispered in her ear,

"I'll take the pill and then you're mine."

...

They took it slow this time, although Olivia couldn't believe how quickly Elliot could arouse her. Her entire body was on fire and his hands and mouth were everywhere. She tried to make sure he didn't lean on his right arm but after a little while she just didn't think anymore. They were on their sides on the bed, facing each other, and Elliot's mouth was making a wet trail from her left shoulder down to her left breast. She slipped one leg between his legs and pushed her hips into him, needing some friction between her legs. Elliot was stil taking his time though and she moaned when his tongue made small circles around her hardened nipple.

She found his nipples with her hands and Elliot rolled on his back when she started rubbing them. She moved her body over his and sucked his nipples with her mouth one by one. It was Elliot's turn to groan and push his hips into her body, and she smiled against his skin. His erection was pushing against her stomach and she wanted to taste him. She scooted down his body, kissing her way down until she reached his bobbing member.

"Liv," Elliot sighed, rubbing her bare shoulders with his hands.

"Just relax," she told him but she could feel his body trembling under her touch.

She started kissing his shaft softly, wrapping her lips around it as she moved up slowly and Elliot bucked up a few times. She could feel him getting even harder and it aroused her even more as well. When she reached his tip, she licked it slowly and Elliot gasped. When she closed her mouth over his tip, he let out a few swear words and it only excited her more to have this effect on him.

She started to move, using her hand and her mouth and tongue to stimulate him. He tasted salty and sweet at the same time and she closed her eyes.

Elliot couldn't believe this was happening. He'd gotten blowjobs before but this was Olivia. He lifted his head to look at her, sitting on her knees between his legs, her perfect ass high in the air and her full breasts moving with her while her mouth was taking him in deeper and deeper.

"Liv!" he said again.

He hadn't planned on coming in her mouth. He wanted all of her but his body was really into what she was doing to him.

Olivia sat up slowly, enjoying every inch of him while she moved up his shaft to release it for a moment.

"Let me do this for you El," she said softly, looking him in the eyes.

She wanted to please him. She wanted it so badly that it shocked her a little. She'd give men blowjobs before, but it was usually because they asked her to. Or sometimes because she didn't want to go all the way with them. She'd even pleasured Dean a few times just to get it over with. But this was different. She _wanted_ to do this, for Elliot. She wanted to give him pleasure and she tried not to think too hard about what that meant.

"I want to make love to you Liv," Elliot told her.

His body was twitching with excitement but he was still thinking of her. Of her pleasure. It made her more determined to please him and she leaned forward to kiss his tip, making Elliot buck up again.

"Later," she whispered and then he was in her mouth again.

She could feel him giving in and she didn't blame him. She wanted him to give in and she moaned with him when she took him in deep again and found a rhythm. The moved together and she felt Elliot getting closer. His movements weren't frantic but his hips were bucking up hard now. She moved with him effortlessly and wrapped her arm around his thigh when she felt him swell up in her mouth, her other hand still pumping him while she sucked him.

"Fuck!" Elliot yelled and Olivia sucked harder, knowing he would come within seconds.

He groaned loudly and Olivia consciously relaxed her throat when he started to shoot his hot seed into her. She swallowed everything he had to give her effortlessly, moaning with him and feeling surges of pleasure ripping through her own body as he came long and hard. She wasn't coming herself but experienced a deep pleasure while pleasing her man. It was an amazing feeling that she'd never had before, and once he softened and she let him slip out of her mouth, she moved up into his arms to kiss him deeply.

Elliot was still out of breath and had to break off the kiss. He couldn't believe what he'd just experienced. She had been passionate to please him and he was in awe of her. Tasting himself on her tongue was an aphrodisiac in itself and he knew he'd want her again very soon. He peppered her face with small kisses while he caught his breath, making Olivia giggle.

"I ... love ... you," he said between kisses and Olivia looked into his eyes.

For a second, he thought she was going to say it, but she didn't. She kissed him softly and then rested her head on his shoulder.

"That was incredible," he sighed, pulling her close to him with his good arm. "But what about you?"

Olivia caressed his heaving chest and moved her head to kiss his neck before saying huskily,

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

...

...

 **Surprised that Liv is okay with El's protectiveness here? Keep in mind that she isn't a New York City girl in this story. But I'm sure she'll tell him she's a big girl soon. She certainly is in the bedroom ... That was special, wasn't it? Review?**


	39. Double Date

**I know this isn't my longest chapter but I want to keep this story going while I churn out my other story "All I need to know". This is a little filler chapter.  
I was going to go straight to the double date but I figured I owed you all the second half of Liv&El's naptime first, so here we go.**

...

 **39\. Double Date**

Olivia gasped. Her mind wandered briefly, back to their very first time by the camp fire. He'd stopped then, just when she thought she was headed for an incredible climax, and had climbed over her to penetrate her at last. Not this time. His fingers had already made her incredibly sensitive to his touch, and his lips, tongue and teeth were now driving her crazy fast. She sighed his name, hardly able to speak, and held on to his head while he ate her out. He was flat on his stomach between her legs and she knew he wasn't going to stop. She bucked up and Elliot sucked harder, swirling his tongue just the right way and making her entire lower half tingle with pleasure, and the promise of more.

He moaned with her when her orgasm hit her at last and kept his mouth over her while she rode out the intense waves, still clinging to his head with both hands. When she had stilled, Elliot lifted his head and looked at her over her trembling body, grinning widely. Olivia covered her face with her hands and sighed, trying to regain control over her breathing.

"Never in my life ..." she sighed, and she heard Elliot chuckle.

He moved next to her on the bed and pulled the covers over both of them.

"Good," he said, kissing her cheek softly. "Just remember this when you're back home. Nobody can do to you what I can."

"Well, aren't we cocky all of a sudden," Olivia smirked.

"I think I have reason to be," he countered and Olivia turned on her side so she was facing him.

She was trying not to think about going home and was running out of smart remarks. Elliot seemed to pick up on her thoughts and leaned in to kiss her softly.

"Don't do that," he said.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Yes, you are. You're worrying. Don't. Let's just enjoy this week and not worry about what happens afterwards, okay?"

Olivia closed her eyes and snuggled closer to her lover. He was right. They were together now, and they'd figure it out somehow.

"Okay," she whispered. "Now get some sleep so we can join our lovebirds later."

They both feel asleep peacefully and when Olivia's phone beeped at 10.15 pm, Elliot felt awake enough to go out for a bit.

...

Kathy was beaming and Olivia squeezed Elliot's hand when they walked into the bar area of the restaurant where they were meeting up with Kyle and Kathy.

"She looks happy," Elliot said softly near her ear, and Olivia's bright smile made his stomach flutter.

He was still feeling the effects of the painkillers a little, but he wouldn't have missed this for the world. He wouldn't have slept at all, knowing Olivia was out in the city at night. They joined the couple and ordered a round of beers for everyone. When Olivia glanced at him, he told all of them reassuringly,

"One beer won't hurt. Right doc?"

Kyle confirmed that one or two beers wouldn't do any damage, and Olivia relaxed next to him. He thought it was cute that she was so concerned about him. Both women ducked into the ladies room together within ten minutes, and both men rolled their eyes simultaneously.

"As if we don't know they're gonna be talking about us," Kyle grinned.

"Yeah. Liv is gonna know every little detail of your date when they get back here."

"And Kathy is gonna know what you two have been up to," Kyle retorted, and Elliot bit his lip.

She wouldn't go into detail, would she?

"Oh yes, my friend. Women tell each other everything!" Kyle stressed.

Elliot made a mental note to ask Olivia about that soon, but for now, he focused on their double date.

"We better treat them right then," he said to Kyle, who nodded.

"No problem."

"You like Kathy?"

"Hm hm."

Kyle nodded, staring at the door of the restroom area. Elliot recognized the look in his eyes.

"How do you and Olivia do it?" Kyle asked him. "This long distance thing?"

Elliot shrugged.

"We're still figuring it out, actually. This is her first visit to New York."

"Yeah, Kathy told me. She's a little insecure, right?"

"She's been hurt badly, but I think I'm getting through to her. Kathy's not so insecure though," Elliot added with a wink. "You'd better brace yourself."

Kyle's smile widened and he signaled the waiter for another round of beers.

"I'm a gentleman, detective. You know that, right?"

"You gonna play hard to get?"

"No. I'm just going to be respectful. If that turns her off, then I'll know she's not the right girl for me."

Elliot nodded, sipping his beer. He didn't think respect would turn Kathy off. But he knew that taking it slow in a long distance relationship was very difficult. When you only see each other once every few weeks or months, taking it slow takes on a whole new meaning. He and Olivia were already done taking it slow, and just remembering her sweet taste on his lips and her mouth around him, made him shift uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't want to think about her going back home but it was always in the back of his head, just like it had been in hers.

Both men perked up when their dates joined them again, and they all chatted and drank together for a while. Elliot stopped after two beers and had some water while the others drank some more. The women were pretty tipsy by the time they decided to call it a night, and he was glad he was still clearheaded. Kyle, who wasn't exactly sober anymore either, insisted on walking Kathy home, as he called it, and they all took a cab to the condo together.

They all tumbled into the aparmtment giggling and laughing, and Olivia disappeared into the bathroom immediately, needing to pee urgently, as she had announced loudly in the cab already. Elliot decided to give Kathy and Kyle some privacy and went into their bedroom as well. When Olivia emerged from the bathroom she sat down next to him on the bed, and they waited for a while, listening for the sound of the front door.

"All clear!" they heard Kathy shout after a while and they hurried back into the living room to hear how Kathy had experienced her date.

"You gonna see him again?" Olivia asked, and Kathy's wide grin was an answer in itself.

"Yeah. Tomorrow," the blonde said, beaming. "He's so nice, and so interesting. We had the best time."

...

Kathy was going all out, as Olivia had expected. When she crawled into bed it was almost 2 am, and Elliot took another pain killer before joining her. Olivia lay next to him, staring up at the ceiling. She was tired and tipsy and wanted to sleep, but she couldn't help thinking about what she and Kathy were doing. Did they really want to complicate their lives like this? She could here Kathy's answer now and smiled. Her personal motivational speaker. _Of course we want this. There are no guidelines for finding true love and no manual telling you that you have to find someone close to home. The heart wants what the heart wants. All we have to do is listen to it._

Olivia turned on her right side and wrapped her arm around the beautiful, naked man next to her. He didn't bother with shirts and shorts in bed anymore and she liked it a lot. Elliot lifted his left arm so she could move closer, and wrapped it around her shoulders. Olivia rested her head on his shoulder and kissed his neck.

"Good night, Liv," Elliot whispered and Olivia felt like they had done this countless times in stead of just a few times before.

"Good night, El."

After half a minute, Elliot said softly,

"This feels so right."

Olivia swallowed hard and admitted softly,

"Yes, it does."

...


	40. Mine

**Can't believe I'm at 40 chapters already! Whenever I start a new story, I always think it will be wrapped up in a couple of chapters and then I start writing and ... this happens! On with chapter 40 then. Enjoy.**

...

 **40\. Mine**

Their days together in New York went by quickly. Too quickly to Elliot's liking. Kathy had been out with Kyle twice more and by Thursday, they were all beginning to think about the trip home. Elliot's arm was healing nicely but the pain killers still made him sleepy, so he had been taking it easy. He had gone sightseeing with the girls, but they had been out on their own as well while he rested. This afternoon, they were meeting up with Robert and Pippa, and Olivia was looking forward to it very much. Pippa was going to give her a tour of the courthouse, and they could all attend a few brief court sessions in family court to see Pippa in action.

Elliot watched Olivia's face while she took it all in. She was absorbing information like a sponge and he marveled at her beauty. Her smile lit up the entire room and he was sure everyone could see it. She asked very intelligent questions too, and he couldn't help wondering why she was working at a diner and had never finished college. She was very bright and he could see her making much more of a difference in the world than she had until now.

Kathy had tagged along but was on her phone a lot, probably texting with Kyle. Elliot peeked at her screen and couldn't help noticing that their texts were more like sexts, and he wondered if they were going to take the next step before Kathy would have to leave. He'd warned Kyle that taking things slow wasn't easy in a long-distance relationship, and from the looks of it, they were gaining speed already.

The girls were leaving on Saturday and had finally convinced him to come with them. He had an appointment at the hospital on Friday afternoon to have his arm checked out, and Kyle had already told them that taking a plane trip wouldn't be a problem. It would be the first time he'd fly out there in stead of drive. He had managed to get a seat on the same plane as the girls, and Olivia had already promised him she'd charm one of the other passengers out of their seat, so they could sit together. He didn't doubt for a second that she'd succeed.

He watched Olivia's profile during the court sessions and could see different emotions in her eyes. She really felt for the children that were discussed. One of the cases was a custody case but the two others they were allowed to attend were about domestic violence and possible sexual abuse in the home. Olivia was sitting up and listening intently and when the judge announced a recess, she turned to face him, a sheen of tears in her eyes.

"Those kids," she sighed. "You work with them too, El?"

He nodded.

"Yeah. We rescue them from the abuse but this is part of the aftermath. They need counseling and need to be placed in a safe environment where they can heal. It's part of Pippa's job to make sure that happens."

He could see that Olivia was feeling a surge of wanting to do something herself, that he recognized. It was what he felt so often too when confronted with a victim of abuse, and he channeled that need to do something into catching the bastards responsible. He wondered if that was something Olivia would want to do, or if she wanted to make a difference in another way.

"What kind of counseling do these kids get?" she asked him, and her question clicked immediately with him. He could see it now. She'd be a perfect rape crisis counselor.

"You want to visit one of the counseling teams Liv? To see what they do?"

"Can we?" she asked excitedly and Elliot smiled, loving how much she wanted to learn about these things.

"Let's ask Pippa if she knows a group we can visit," he suggested, and they both stood up to find the counselor.

Olivia was disappointed when Pippa told them that she couldn't really organize something so fast, since Olivia would be leaving New York in two days. When Pippa suggested that she'd be back soon, Olivia glanced at Elliot. She realized she didn't really want to leave. Part of her missed her home town but she was beginning to feel at home in New York already. She knew that she shouldn't get used to the luxurious apartment they were using now because it wasn't exactly representative of life in the Big Apple, but she already felt more comfortable in the streets than she had in the beginning. The city was growing on her.

"Okay. I'll let you know when I'll be back in town," she told Pippa.

They turned to leave, because Pippa would be working the rest of the afternoon, and found Robert and Kathy waiting for them in the hallway. Robert invited them all for drinks at a local bar and they had a nice time. Kyle joined them after a while and they decided to have dinner together in the city. Robert had to leave though because he'd promised to pick Pippa up after work. Olivia hugged Robert when they said goodbye, because she probably wouldn't see him again before they'd leave.

"It was great seeing you again Robert," she told him and Robert smiled.

"I have a feeling you'll be back," he said, and Olivia smiled as well, knowing he was right.

When they returned to the condo, Kyle tagged along. They hung out together in front of the TV for a while, and after about half an hour of stealing kisses, Kyle and Kathy disappeared into Kathy's bedroom.

"I knew it," Elliot said with a wink, and Olivia felt her stomach lurch. His bright blue eyes always had that effect on her nowadays.

"I'm happy for her," she said, trying not to think about why Kathy had decided to sleep with her new boyfriend tonight. They would be leaving within two days.

Olivia was happy that Elliot was coming back home with them and tried to push all thoughts of having to say goodbye in another weeks time away for now. They were here now, together, in a beautiful apartment in a beautiful city. Elliot had taken his 10 o'clock medication earlier and his sleepiness had worn off already, so they had all the time in the world to enjoy each other. But she still felt for Kathy.

"'Don't be sad Liv. I'm coming with you, remember?" Elliot said.

She forced a smile.

"You are, but Kyle isn't. Kathy's going to be so sad."

Elliot scooted closer to her on the couch and wrapped his good arm around her shoulders. He kissed her temple and said softly,

"Then we'd better make sure they see each other again real soon."

Olivia tried to focus on what Elliot was saying, but his proximity and the husky tone of his voice were very distracting. She turned her head so her lips were skimming Elliot's and said,

"Why don't we focus on us right now?"

"I like that idea," Elliot whispered back and he moaned softly when she sucked his lower lip between her lips gently.

Elliot groaned softly and pulled her into him, crashing his mouth over hers and kissing her passionately. When they came up for air, Olivia stood up and pulled Elliot up with her.

"Let's go."

"Yes ma'am."

Once they were inside their bedroom, they started undressing each other. They tried not to rush, but the mere thought of the other couple having sex as well, was very stimulating.

"This is sexy as hell," Elliot whispered near her ear, and she knew he was thinking the same thing. There was sex in the air.

After the last pieces of clothing had hit the floor, they kissed each other deeply and Olivia thought she might come from feeling his naked body against hers alone. She didn't need any more foreplay and judging by Elliot's erection, he didn't either. They moved towards the big bed that was waiting for them. Olivia hopped on first, and turned around just in time to see Elliot crawling towards her, his erection bobbing happily. She scooted back quickly until her head hit the pillow.

"Mine," Elliot growled before dropping his body on top of hers.

"Yeah," Olivia sighed, wrapping her arms around him, her mouth finding his again.

They made out like a couple of teenagers for a few minutes, Elliot's hand drifting all over her body and Olivia felt like he was setting her on fire with every touch. She wanted him inside her again and pushed him on his back, straddling his waist quickly. Elliot looked up at her expectantly, his hands reaching for her full breasts automatically.

"Mine," she said softly, caressing his muscular chest before dropping down to kiss his chest.

Her hands moved further down and her lips followed. Elliot was writhing beneath her, one hand tangled in her hair, and she teased him a little when she scooted back, rubbing him with her wetness a few times before moving down further. Her hands and lips found his abdomen and she made a trail of wet kisses down his body. Meanwhile, another part of his body was screaming for attention. She moved a little to her left and wrapped one hand around his erect member. Elliot groaned and reached for her but she'd moved down too far and he missed. His body jolted when she placed a few wet kisses on his glistening tip and then licked it slowly.

Her own body was throbbing and she wanted him inside her desperately. Nobody had ever made her feel like Elliot did, needing him so much to satisfy her. She moved forward again and grabbed the condom Elliot had already put on the nightstand earlier. She straddled him again and tore open the wrapper. Elliot held his breath and rubbed her knees while she put the condom on him. As soon as it was in place, she moved her body over him. She didn't want to wait any longer. She lowered herself and felt him push up inside her about an inch. She moaned and closed her eyes, her head tilting back and her hands finding his on her knees. She continued to sink down around his rock-hard erection, feeling him fill her up completely again. This would never become ordinary. He was so big and so perfect for her and she stilled for a few seconds once he was completely inside her. He was taking deep breaths too and she knew it had to be the same for him.

They looked at each other and she could see lust, desire and love in his beautiful blue eyes. They were one again and she started to move slowly, tilting her hips until she found the perfect angle. Elliot started moving with her, grabbing her hips to guide and support her movements. She tried to keep her eyes open to look at his amazing body while they made love, but soon the feeling became too overwhelmingly intense and she closed her eyes. She leaned forward so she could support herself, her palms on his heaving chest. They went faster and a little harder, moving as one body. Elliot's grunts and Olivia's cries created a new love song, expressing so much more than just a physical union. Olivia dropped forward to kiss Elliot deeply, not wanting their dance of love to end yet.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her shoulders and turned them around in one fluent movement, never breaking their intimate connection. He kissed her again and then pushed himself up on his arms. Olivia opened her legs wider and wrapped them around his waist, closing her eyes again. There was no better feeling than this, to be filled to the max by this man. It was the first time they were in this position all week because of Elliot's arm and she loved having him on top of her, rocking inside her and taking her completely. Elliot's grunts became louder when they found their rhythm again and sped up once more. His strong body was thrusting into her and Olivia cried out when he hit just the right spot deep inside her. Elliot repeated the same movement, focused on pleasing her, until she knew her release was imminent.

"Don't stop baby," she panted, arching her back.

"Come for me Liv," Elliot panted, increasing the intensity of this thrusts even more.

"Oh God," Olivia moaned.

"Fuck," Elliot spat between grunts.

"El, I ..."

"Go baby."

"Oh my ..."

"Yeah."

"Aah!"

The entire bed shook when Olivia shattered around her lover, crying out in pleasure. Elliot continued moving deep inside her and then reached his climax as well. She could feel him throbbing inside her and it only added to her own pleasure, and they continued to move together until they were completely satisfied. Elliot dropped to his elbows and kissed her shoulder. Olivia wrapped her arms around him and held him close while they both caught their breaths. He'd said she was his and she'd said he was hers. She'd meant it. She never wanted to let him go, ever again. And that made her happy and terrified at the same time.

...

...

 **I used parts of another story here for the smut. 10 points for whoever recognizes it! There comes a time when a writer has written so much smut that it's difficult to write something completely new ... I'm sure I'll be inspired again soon but I do like how this turned out. Agreed? Let's just hope Elliot didn't do any damage to that arm.**


	41. Possessive

**I finally found time and the inspiration to write another little chapter here! I hope this will meet your approval. Please let me know in a review!**

...

 **41\. Possessive**

Elliot's final checkup before they left turned out fine. He hadn't done any damage to his arm and was allowed to take smaller doses of painkillers from now on if he so desired. He wanted to try taking a smaller dose during the day, and the full dose at night and so far, that was going well.

It was heartbreaking to watch Kyle and Kathy say goodbye. Olivia and Elliot knew only too well what it felt like and they both had tears in their eyes. Olivia was so happy that Elliot was coming back home with them, but she dreaded the moment when it would be her next week. When the two lovebirds finally broke apart, the three of them made their way to the boarding area of the airport. Kyle watched them leave until he couldn't see them anymore, and Kathy kept looking back and waving at him until he was completely out of sight. Olivia put an arm around her friend's waist and Kathy smiled sadly at her.

"It's the other way around now, huh?" Kathy said. "Who would have thought?"

They did their best to try and distract her while they waited until they could board, and once they were on the plane, Olivia decided to stay in her own seat and sit with Kathy in stead of trying to get a seat next to Elliot. She was glad he understood. They would have another week together, so she wanted to support her friend on their journey back home.

It wasn't a long flight and after landing they quickly made their way to the bus that would take them back to Olivia and Kathy's home town. Kathy insisted that Olivia sit with Elliot on the bus, and once she was snuggled up to him, she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the moment. Kathy was a strong woman. She would just have to find a way to maintain her new long-distance relationship, just like she and Elliot were doing.

Sharon was elated to have Olivia home again and said that Elliot was most welcome to stay with them while he was in town. He was still healing from his injury after all, so she wasn't going to let him stay in a motel. Kathy stayed for dinner but left soon afterwards, saying she had a Skype date with Kyle and wanted to be home alone when he called. They agreed to meet up at Dana's the next day, their last day off before Olivia and Kathy would have to go back to work.

...

Dana was happy to see all of them again, but frowned when she heard the reason why Elliot suddenly had time to come back with Olivia.

"That job of his is dangerous, Olivia. You sure you wanna date a cop?"

Elliot glanced at Olivia. He didn't like it when people questioned their relationship. Olivia had done enough questioning on her own without other people butting in. He couldn't really see the expression on Olivia's face when she answered Dana,

"They take good care of each other at the NYPD, Dana. He's never out alone."

He put his hand on her knee under the table and squeezed it gently, hoping Olivia would look at him. But she didn't. She just covered his hand with hers and squeezed back, but remained focused on her conversation with the woman standing at their table. Dana maintained that it was dangerous to be a cop in New York City, but then she winked at Elliot. Right. It was dangerous in New York. This town was a lot quieter. He was still thinking about it when Dana brought them their lunch but was soon distracted by Olivia's happy chatter with several other guests at the diner, who all knew her of course. She looked so at home here and he enjoyed watching her face reflect exactly what she was saying. And sometimes, he could tell she was acting a little. He could just sit here and watch her all day and never be bored.

He noticed that Kathy was quiet and he understood. She smiled at him when their eyes met and he winked at her. He knew exactly how she felt. When Kathy finally joined in the conversation, he focused on Olivia again.

When Olivia caught him staring after a while, she cocked an eyebrow. Elliot answered her with a wide grin and Olivia replied by rolling her eyes, and then laughing softly.

"You wanna get out of here?" she asked him. "Maybe check on your friends at The Tavern?"

"Sure."

Kathy said she was staying for a bit. Naturally, she wouldn't want to see them together the whole time while she missed Kyle. They got up to leave and after Olivia had hugged Kathy, they both waved at Dana when they passed the counter on their way out. Elliot looked back once more before closing the door behind him and caught Dana still looking at them. He nodded once more and then left, wondering what the older woman had been thinking.

...

It had been great seeing everyone again but after taking his smaller pain killer, Elliot started to get a little tired. The smaller dose didn't hit him as hard, but he could still feel the effects. It was only 3 pm but Olivia stood up immediately when she saw the look in his eyes become a little distant.

"Sorry fellas, it's naptime for this injured cop," she announced, standing up.

"Naptime hmmm?" Marty asked suggestively. "I'd like some naptime with a girl like you myself."

Olivia didn't miss a beat and responded with a wide smile,

"There _is_ no other girl like me Marty, so dream on."

"You got that right," Elliot growled, standing up as well and giving Marty a warning glare.

"Hey, relax buddy. You know I'd never go after one of your girls. At least not while they're yours."

Marty laughed out loud at his own joke, but Elliot was not amused. At all.

"Hey!" he said rather loudly, knocking on the table. "This _woman_ is _staying_ mine so hands off, okay? And eyes too."

"El," Olivia said, wrapping her hand around his bicep. "Come on. He's your friend. He was just joking."

"Yeah, I was just jokin' man. And you can't tell me where to look so ..."

Marty stopped talking when Elliot shot him another glare, and all three friends held up their hands in surrender.

"Don't shoot, detective," Dwight said, and Elliot finally relaxed.

He wasn't sure now why he'd reacted the way he had. He tried blaming the pain killers, but Olivia was not amused. Once they were outside, she released his arm. From the way she was walking, he could tell she was pissed.

"Liv," he started, but Olivia held up a hand immediately to silence him.

"Let's just get you home and into bed."

He wanted to say he liked the sound of that to lighten the mood, but decided against it. He hadn't seen her angry a lot, but he did know to tread carefully when she was. He tried to replay the brief exchange in his head, but he was tired and losing focus. He could barely keep up with Olivia and when she finally noticed, she grabbed his arm but continued walking at a brisk pace.

"You okay?" she asked, and he could tell she had to make an effort to sound friendly.

"Are _you_ okay?" Elliot asked her, and that finally made her slow down a little.

Olivia sighed. She'd always been perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She didn't need Elliot's protection from people she'd known all her life. She tried to tell herself he meant well, but this wasn't New York City and she wasn't his property. She was his girlfriend. That was something else. She didn't want to fight with him, but didn't know how to tell him to back off either, without getting into a fight.

"Let's just not talk about it Elliot, alright?" she tried, but naturally, Elliot wouldn't let it go.

"Liv, come on. Tell me what I did that was so horrible."

"Let's go inside first," she said, since they were in her street already.

It would give her some time to think of an answer that wouldn't reignite Elliot's anger. Or hers. Elliot followed her inside and upstairs, and she was relieved that no one else was home.

"Come on, you have to rest," she told Elliot once they were in her room.

Elliot sat down on the bed but didn't lie down. In stead, he patted the space next to him, and Olivia sat down with a sigh after hanging away their coats.

"I won't be able to sleep if you're pissed with me."

She looked at him but avoided his eyes. She looked at his mouth in stead.

"I had it covered," she said flatly.

Elliot bit his lip and unconsciously, Olivia bit hers.

"I know. I just ... I don't want them thinking about you ... like that."

"Why not?"

Elliot scoffed and Olivia finally looked into his eyes, but Elliot was the one who looked away now.

"Why not? You even have to ask?" he said, raising his voice a little.

"Yeah, Elliot, I have to ask," she replied, matching his volume. "For all I know, you've slept with half the women in this part of town. What am I gonna do, stop all of them from looking in your direction? Come on!"

She jumped up and took a step away from the bed before turning around to face him.

"I like it when men notice me, Elliot. It makes me feel attractive. You have no right to take that away from me. I'm my own woman, not your property."

Elliot was staring at her and she couldn't read him right now. There was no telling which way the conversation was going to go. When he finally said something, she wished he had just shut up.

"I thought you were mine Liv, just like I'm yours. We even told each other that."

"What?!"

He couldn't honestly mean that, could he?

"The other night, when we ..."

"I know what you mean! I remember El," she cut him off. "But that's not the same thing. I'm yours to touch, yes. But men can still look at me. Or would you rather lock me up and hide me away from everyone else?"

"I just don't want men to look at you and think about doing stuff with you ..."

"You mean you don't want men to be men. Grow up, Elliot. You've been around the block a few times too many to be that sensitive about these things. God!"

Olivia threw her arms in the air and then left the bedroom to go to the bathroom across from her room, hoping to stop their argument before they both went too far. She ignored Elliot's frustrated groan and closed the bathroom door behind her quickly. She hoped he'd be wise enough not to follow her right now. If he was going to be a possessive bastard around her all week, she was going to make crystal clear to him that that was not what she'd signed up for. He was a great guy and she was beginning to think she really did love him, but she knew herself well enough to know that he'd suffocate her if he kept this up. Even Dean gave her more space when they were involved than Elliot was doing right now. Or was she overreacting? She used the toilet while she was in the bathroom and leaned her elbows on her knees and her forehead in her hands, wondering what she'd find once she'd go back into the bedroom.

...

 **So, was Olivia overreacting, or was Elliot? Or both? And what now? Please leave your thoughts in the box below!**


	42. Independent

**So, they both overreacted. It's what they do, right? Let's see why this happened before they make up ...** ** _if_** **they make up. They will, won't they?**

...

 **42\. Independent**

Elliot was trying to relax while he waited for Olivia to return from the bathroom. He lay down on his back on the bed on top of the covers, still fully dressed. He was feeling a little heavy but he wanted to talk to Olivia before taking his nap. He had hoped she'd join him and didn't want her to be angry with him. Had he really gone too far? He wasn't very experienced with long-term relationships and had been used to letting girls go after a few nights. Now that he'd latched on to the love of his life, he was feeling very protective of her. He couldn't lose this girl. She was the one. But in stead of appreciating how he'd defended her honor, she had been pissed off. He was trying to understand that, but he was having a hard time. What was so wrong about standing up for the woman he loved?

He had some difficulty keeping his eyes open and closed them after a few minutes, listening for any sounds that might indicate that Olivia was coming out of the bathroom. He sighed. He didn't want her to be angry. He wanted to make her happy and give her everything she'd ever wanted. And he wanted all other men to back off and know she was taken. He didn't see her as his property at all, but there was nothing wrong with letting everyone else know she was his girlfriend, was there? He was proud of it. He'd have to tell her that. Yeah, he was going to tell her that he was proud to be her man and that he wanted everyone to know that. How could she be opposed to that?

Elliot rolled over on his left side, trying to get comfortable. Olivia was taking a long time in the bathroom. He yawned. He needed to stay awake. He couldn't fall asleep on her now. He just couldn't ...

...

Olivia had used the toilet and had washed her hands. She leaned on the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. There was still some residual anger in her eyes and she sighed. She didn't want to fight. Elliot was only in town for another week. But she knew that all relationships had their ups and downs. They were getting serious about each other and it wouldn't all be sunshine and roses every day. She knew this but it still unnerved her that they could blow up at each other like this. What if Elliot would start to reconsider their relationship? What if she turned out to be too feisty for him? Surely he'd met a lot of women who weren't as difficult as she was. She didn't want to think about other women being with him, but sometimes thoughts about it did pop up. Elliot kept telling her he loved her and that she was the one for him, but it was difficult for her to grasp. How could he be so sure after such a short time? Maybe he was just so smitten with her that he mistook it for love, and he'd grow tired of her after a while.

She knew she was a strong woman who could take care of herself. Getting back on her feet after the accident and losing her baby hadn't been easy, but she'd done it. She was strong and independent and she didn't need Elliot to keep other men at bay. But that wasn't the root of her reaction to his behavior. If anything, she'd thought his protectiveness was very sweet back in New York. What she was really afraid of, was getting too dependent on him and then having him leave her again. She didn't want to get that hung up on a man ever again. She had felt like she wanted to die when Dean left her and told her to get an abortion. She couldn't let a man become her world again like that, only to have her world crushed as soon as he left her. That was why she was fighting him. She needed to be her own woman, no matter what.

Olivia looked at herself in the mirror again and saw tears brimming in her eyes. Maybe she was too far gone already. She couldn't lose Elliot now. It would break her heart. There was no denying it. She loved him. She had already fallen for him.

...

After Olivia had splashed some water in her face and had dabbed it dry with a towel, she thought she looked presentable and calm enough to face Elliot again. She unlocked the bathroom door and walked back to her bedroom quietly, closing the door behind her. Elliot was on his side on top of the covers of the bed, his back turned to the door, and she walked around the bed to sit down next to him. Much to her surprise, Elliot seemed to be sleeping.  
 _What the hell ..._ Hadn't he just told her he couldn't sleep when she was pissed with him? So that had just been talk? Then what else had just been talk?

Olivia felt a knot in her stomach. They were in the middle of an argument and Elliot Stabler had decided to just take a nap?! She stood up and looked down at his sleeping form. She was torn between wanting to scream at him to wake up and wanting to just leave him there. She knew he needed the rest to heal, but she had kind of hoped she could have joined him in bed. She didn't feel like that at all now, and decided to leave him alone before she'd do something stupid. She was angry though that he'd fallen asleep.

Olivia walked downstairs and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. She noticed that there weren't many left and decided to put hers back and go out for some groceries. It would provide a welcome distraction. Maybe she could cook dinner for the whole family that night. She knew Simon would be there too. She decided to walk and grabbed Sharon's shopping trolley on her way out.

...

Elliot woke up after about an hour, feeling very cold. He was a little disoriented at first, but then he realized where he was, and that he was alone. And he remembered their fight. He sat up and when he didn't see Olivia, he got up to find her. She wasn't anywhere in the house and his heart began to beat faster. He'd fallen asleep.  
 _Stupid, stupid!_ He shouldn't have gotten comfortable at all while Olivia was in the bathroom. She probably thought that he wasn't interested in how she felt. And where was she?

He jumped when he heard the front door slam and was disappointed to see Simon come in.

"Hey, Elliot. Good to see you again man," Simon said happily, extending a hand.

Elliot shook Simon's hand and forced a smile.

"Yeah. I'm on sick leave for another week so I decided to come back with Liv for a few more days."

"I know, mom told me. I just worked a night shift at the pharmacy and a day shift at the motel, so I'm beat. Where's Liv?"

The helplessness must have been written all over Elliot's face because Simon just looked at him and said,

"Ah."

"What?" Elliot asked.

"You don't know where she is. What did you do?"

Elliot sighed and sat down on the couch. Simon sat on the armrest of the armchair opposite him and waited for his answer.

"Marty made a remark about Olivia and I kind of ... blew up at him."

"Ouch," Simon said, frowning. "And she didn't appreciate that."

"No."

"That's my sister."

Elliot looked up at Olivia's half-brother.

"What should I do?"

"Knowing her, she's not gonna be gone long. She's probably gone to see a friend or run an errand or something to cool off. When you see her, just hug her and don't say anything. Whatever you do, don't say a thing because everything you say will be wrong. Got it?"

It was ironic to be getting advice from Simon on how to deal with his relationship, but he was her brother and he'd known her longer than he had, so Elliot was taking the advice to heart gladly.

"And then what?" he asked the younger man in front of him.

"Just wait for her to start talking. She's a woman. They always start talking eventually."

Both men chuckled in agreement and Elliot was grateful now that it had been Simon getting home in stead of Olivia.

"Hear her out and agree with her, and then tell her whatever you want her to know," Simon concluded.

"Thanks," Elliot said quietly, and Simon stood up.

He gave him a pat on the back and then went upstairs to take a shower and get some sleep before dinner. Elliot decided to make some coffee, hoping Olivia would be home soon like Simon was expecting.

...

Olivia tried to focus on her grocery list. She hadn't actually written anything down but she had something in mind she wanted to make, and kept repeating the ingredients over and over in her head. She needed the distraction because she was still pissed off at Elliot's behavior, the fact that he'd fallen asleep on her _and_ her own insecurity. He was becoming too important to her, and that scared her. She needed to stay independent, she kept telling herself but the thought of being alone once again, the thought of a life after her relationship with Elliot, terrified her. She didn't want a life after her relationship with Elliot. She didn't want it to end. But if it did, she would still need to be the strong woman she'd become after Dean. The woman who led the dance to "Any man of mine" on the dance floor and could belch out the lyrics by heart.

She sighed and counted her groceries once again. She'd already tried to count them twice but kept losing track. In a way, she was fighting herself, not Elliot. There would be no winner if she kept doing that. Either she wanted this with Elliot, or she didn't. What was it that John Munch had said again? _Fear is the worst motivation to do or not to do anything. Fear paralyzes and can rob you of the best experiences of your life._ She couldn't let fear ruin her chance at happiness. _All things come to an end eventually. If we would only choose things that we are certain to last forever, we would never choose to get out of bed in the morning._ He'd been right. John Munch was a wise man who knew what life had to offer. He'd been married four times and hadn't regretted any of his marriages. _When you find someone to love, never run away from it. Run to it and embrace it. It is the only way to truly be alive._

Olivia sighed again and nodded to herself. She should quit being so difficult or she would destroy her chance at happiness herself. There had to be a way to be a strong and independent woman and still be in a loving relationship. Lots of people had that, so why couldn't she? They would just need to figure it out.

Once she was outside in the cold February air again, she took a deep breath and started walking back home. Back to Elliot. She had no idea how she would react once she saw him, hopefully awake, but she would try not to give in to her defensive gut reaction, and to think before she spoke. She was an adult, not a child that couldn't help acting on its impulses. She could do this. Be honest without hurting the man she loved. The man she loved ... She blinked away a few fresh tears and walked a little faster.

She was going home.

...

 **I'd love to know if the reasoning of our two hotheaded lovers makes sense to you so please review. More soon.**


	43. I love you

**43\. I love you**

Hug her. Don't say anything. Hear her out. Agree with her. Very important, no doubt. And _then_ say what you need her to know.

Elliot kept repeating the steps while he paced in the living room, waiting for Olivia to come back. It really wasn't about being wrong or being right. He just wanted them to be okay again. He could only hope that was what Olivia wanted, too. He would have to make an effort to listen to her, and to really hear what she was saying. He could do that, right? He was trained to listen to people and filter out their true intentions. He shook his head. Olivia wasn't a suspect in an interrogation. She was the woman of his dreams. The _need_ to understand her was much greater than it was to get a perp or a witness to cough up information. This was far more important. He had to get it right this time.

Be honest. Don't lash out at him. Tell him what you're afraid of. Tell him it's you, not him. Tell him you love him ...

Olivia kept repeating the words in her head while she walked back home. She swallowed hard at the last of her instructions-to-self. She should tell him. Put it out there, damn the consequences. He deserved to know how she felt. He'd worked so hard to get her to trust him. And she did. Elliot had been more honest with her than any boyfriend had been before him. Well, aside from Nick maybe but that was different. She'd known Nick inside and out before they became a couple briefly. It was different with Elliot. The risk was bigger, but the rewards would be a lot bigger too if it worked out. Be honest. Tell him you love him. She blew out a breath slowly before opening the front door when she got home. This was it.

Elliot jumped when he heard the front door open and stopped pacing. He was standing in the middle of the room, waiting for her to enter. Hug her. Don't say anything. He listened while she hung her coat on the rack in the small hallway and then grab the handle of her trolley again before waking into the room. Hear her out. Agree with her. He held his breath when the door opened and she appeared, looking behind her at the trolley to make sure it wouldn't get stuck in the doorway. After closing the door, she turned around and saw him. She froze, her eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

Elliot walked up to her and she blinked rapidly when he moved his arms around her immediately, pulling her into him. It only took her a second to respond and he finally started breathing again when he felt her relax against him. She buried her face in his chest and they held each other, neither of them saying anything. Elliot wanted to say so much but he was biting his tongue, remembering Simon's instructions, and just enjoyed the feeling of her body against his. He caressed her back and when he felt her doing the same, he kissed her gently on the side of her head. He knew they were going to be okay and he relaxed as well. She wouldn't hold him like this if she didn't want to be with him anymore.

Olivia was so relieved that Elliot wasn't angry with her and relaxed in his arms. He was still here and he still wanted to be with her. She inhaled his familiar scent and listened to the rapid beating of his heart. It was like his heartbeat was telling her how much she mattered to him. The painkillers had made him fall asleep. It wasn't his fault. And his jealousy was a good sign in a way. She didn't want to argue about that with him anymore. But she would need to be honest with him and tell him about her worries. She closed her eyes and enjoyed being held by him for a few moments longer before she lifted her head to look up at him. Elliot looked into her eyes and waited. All she could see in his eyes was concern and love. It helped her to take that last step and be honest with him.

"El, I'm sorry for overreacting," she said softly.

Elliot closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. They were swaying a little together and Olivia closed her eyes too before continuing.

"I'm just so afraid of losing my independence."

"Why?" Elliot asked softly.

"I'm afraid of ... losing a part of myself to you, so I won't be whole when you're not here."

"Why?" Elliot asked again. "I'm not whole when you're not around either."

"Doesn't that scare you?"

"No."

Olivia opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"The only thing that scares me is the thought of possibly losing you," Elliot clarified.

"Oh ..."

That was exactly what she was afraid of too. Be honest with him. Tell him.

"That's what scares me too El. That's what I mean," Olivia admitted.

Elliot forced a smile.

"If we both don't want to lose each other, then why are we afraid? We both want the same thing."

Olivia nodded, moving her hands from Elliot's back to his chest.

"We do. It's just ..."

"I'm not him, Olivia."

Elliot knew he was supposed to hear her out, but he'd just about had enough of being compared to the asshole who had left her. He knew he was risking pissing her off again, but he was just a man and he could only take so much. But Olivia didn't get angry again. Not this time.

"I know, and I'm sorry for ... for projecting my insecurities on you," she said softly. "It's not you, El It's me. I know that and ... I really don't want to hurt you and I don't want to lose you because ... because I love you."

Olivia quickly closed her eyes after her confession and leaned her forehead against Elliot's broad chest. But Elliot moved her away from him a little, wanting to make eye contact. She opened her eyes and looked up into his blue eyes, feeling very exposed. But she wasn't going to run, even if her first instinct was to get the hell out of there before she'd get burned. In stead she held on to the words of John Munch. Don't run away from it. Run to it and embrace it. And she did, literally, by wrapping her arms around Elliot's neck and embracing him. Elliot's strong arms wrapped around her too and he lifted her off the ground, making her giggle despite the huge lump in her throat.

"I love you Liv," Elliot said, still holding on tight. "And I don't ever want you to think I don't think you can take care of yourself. I'm just possessive of you because I love you so much. I want to have you all to myself but I want to show you off too, so I'll never lock you away from the world. I'm so proud to be your man."

He'd heard her out and now it was his turn, and the words came easily now. She loved him. She actually loved him and it gave him such a boost of confidence that he wasn't afraid to be honest with her anymore. He wanted to understand her because he loved her, and now he knew it was the same for her. It was truly all he'd needed to hear, even if he hadn't realized it before.

"I'm proud to be your girl," Olivia said and she smiled when Elliot set her down.

"So why were we fighting again?" Elliot asked her with a half smile.

"I don't remember," Olivia answered before pulling him down to her level so she could kiss him.

"Me either," Elliot mumbled against her lips before closing his mouth over hers and kissing her deeply.

The way Olivia's body was responding to his and fit so perfectly against him, made his body respond immediately. He hadn't planned to end up in a heavy petting session with her on the couch, but when the front door slammed again, letting them know that Sharon was home, they both shot up and were still adjusting their clothes when Simon's mother came into the room.

"Well hello," the older woman smiled. "I can see you weren't expecting me home so early."

Olivia jumped up quickly, telling Sharon that she was going to cook dinner.

"And I'm helping," Elliot said, following her lead.

"So you just sit down and relax, okay?" Olivia said. "Simon's sleeping but we'll wake him before dinner."

Sharon laughed and agreed, and a few minutes later Elliot served her a fresh cup of coffee in the living room, while Olivia started dinner. Elliot quickly joined her in the kitchen again, where they alternated between following cooking instructions and fooling around with each other, giggling softly and thinking Sharon wouldn't notice. But once they were all seated and ready to eat, Sharon told them,

"I happen to know this food was made with a lot of love, so enjoy, everyone."

She winked at Olivia, who glanced at Elliot next to her, and Simon just grinned at both of them.

"Love in the kitchen. I like it," Simon said, starting to pile food onto his plate.

"Me too," Elliot said, kissing his girl on the cheek before she knew what was happening.

She was blushing and he loved it. He loved her. And when she looked at him he could see in her eyes what she'd told him earlier. She loved him too.

...

 **Short but sweet again, right? Review?**


	44. The Last Night

**It took a lot longer to complete this chapter than I had intended, because I started to stray from my original story line (writing the events in the wrong order). It has been fixed now. I will still be able to use parts of what I had written, fortunately. But first, enjoy this!**

...

 **44\. The Last Night**

Their days together went by too quickly. Olivia was working a lot during the day and they went to the saloon a few times at night. Elliot continued to reduce his pain medication until he didn't need it at all anymore. The feeling had returned to his arm and hand, and he was relieved that the stabbing wouldn't leave any permanent damage. He knew he'd have to pay a few visits to the shooting range to prove his aim was still good, but then he'd be ready for duty. Having to leave Olivia behind was the only downside of going back to work, and it was a huge downside.

On their last full day together, Elliot went to the Tavern in the afternoon to have a drink with his friends, and told them he'd be leaving for a while the next day.

"We know buddy," Dwight said. "But we're pretty sure you'll be back soon."

"Can't deny that," Elliot admitted, holding up his beer for a toast. "To true love."

"True love," the friends repeated. "And longer fuses," Marty added, earning him a chuckle from the group.

"I told you I was sorry," Elliot said, but he still felt bad about blowing up at his friend like he had at the beginning of the week.

"Yeah, I'm just kidding man, no hard feelings," Marty said.

Elliot looked around the Tavern while he chatted with his friends, wondering when he'd be back here. He really didn't want to leave.

...

Meanwhile at Dana's Diner, Olivia felt restless. She was dreading saying goodbye to Elliot again. She had been distracted all day, and her co-workers finally told her just to take off early and be with her man. Elliot stepped out to pick up some Chinese food as soon as she got home from work, and Olivia was trying not to think of the impending goodbye while she waited for him to return. Elliot's flight would be leaving early so this evening was basically the last quality time they would be spending together for a while.

Olivia wished she could come back to New York with him. She was very interested in learning more about Pippa's job and family court. At one time, she would have followed Dean to the ends of the earth just to be with him, but this was different. This wasn't even about Elliot. She felt drawn to the work that was being done for neglected and abused children, and she felt like she could really make a difference in a place like New York. She'd definitely make more of a difference than she would out here, waiting tables. Olivia shook her head while she busied herself getting the table ready for dinner. Sharon was out for the night, Olivia actually suspected her of having a date, and Simon was working, so it was just the two of them.

She jumped a little when she heard Elliot come back, and took the bags of food from him just to have something to do.

"You want a beer?" Elliot asked, holding up an extra six pack.

"Sure. There's some in the fridge too."

Elliot decided to get them a cold one and put the new six pack in the fridge for later. Once they were seated he smiled at her and Olivia's stomach clenched. Why was she so nervous?

"You okay?" Elliot asked her, a look of concern on his face.

"Yeah ... yeah. Just ... not looking forward to tomorrow, that's all."

Elliot reached for her hand across the table and she slipped her hand in his.

"Me neither Liv, but we'll live, right? We've done it before."

Despite his words, he was as sad as she was, and somehow, that did help.

"You're right," she said. "Let's just eat and enjoy our evening together."

...

And enjoy it they did. They had fun playing with their food, especially with their dessert, that they ate on the couch. A lot of ice cream as well as whipped cream ended up on their faces, and they had a good time licking it off each other. Elliot growled when Olivia suggested taking the whipped cream upstairs with them, and she laughed out loud when he chased her up the stairs and into her room. They tumbled onto the bed, still laughing, until their lips met and a deep longing took over their senses. They were going to make the most of their last night together. Elliot started undressing Olivia slowly while keeping all of his clothes on for now.

"Not fair," Olivia whined, but she stopped complaining when Elliot started using the whipped cream on her body. She was so sensitive to his touch and couldn't imagine ever being touched by another man again. And however frightening that thought was, she wasn't going to let fear occupy her mind. She loved him. She had admitted it. She was embracing it, and wanted to savor it. This was being alive, according to Munch, and right now, she couldn't agree more. All of her nerve ends were catching fire and she had never felt more alive.

Elliot marveled at how responsive Olivia was to his touch. He licked whipped cream off her nipples and from her belly button, making her giggle and moan simultaneously. Her hands were caressing his shoulders and the back of his head, her fingers raking through his short hair while his mouth devoured her soft skin.

"You're amazing," he mumbled against her abdomen and his breath hitched when Olivia opened her legs for him.

He would never get used to this, to being allowed to touch her and taste her and make love to her. He couldn't imagine that there would ever come a time that he wouldn't want her the instant she invited him into bed. He knew that the sex life of couples who were married for decades often changed, but for now, he couldn't picture it. He grabbed the can of whipped cream again and sprayed some on Olivia's hot center, making her moan in anticipation, and he grinned at her before following the sweet substance with his tongue and lips. His own excitement only grew when Olivia's back arched off the bed and she sighed his name.

Olivia couldn't decide if she wanted Elliot to make her come with his mouth or if she wanted him inside her. She could hardly think straight as he ate her out, making her body jolt while his mouth worked on her her most sensitive flesh. He sat on his knees between her legs and had one hand on her stomach to hold her down while his other hand toyed with one of her hardened nipples. All Olivia could do was caress his shoulders and back, and his head. She gasped for air when Elliot showed no signs of slowing down, understanding that he had every intention of making her come while he was still fully clothed. She would need to fix that later but for now, he was taking her to new heights, letting go of her breast and adding two fingers to the mix while sucking and licking her little bud of pleasure.

"Eeeeeel," she yelled, bucking up and rolling her hips, still not reaching her climax.

"Go baby, come for me," Elliot said between licking and kissing her, his low voice vibrating through her body.

He plunged his fingers in deeper, hitting her g-spot at the perfect angle, and it was her undoing. She clamped down around his fingers and sighed and panted while her orgasm hit her in powerful waves. Elliot's fingers kept stimulating her g-spot, prolonging her pleasure until she thought she might pass out. She tried to close her legs but couldn't because Elliot was sitting between them, and let out a strangled groan, hoping Elliot would understand that she was done. Elliot slowly retracted his fingers and placed one last kiss on her sensitive flesh before allowing her to close her legs. She was still so sensitive and rolled over on her side. Elliot snuggled up behind her and just held her while she caught her breath.

"Was that okay?" he asked her after a minute.

"Okay?" Olivia asked, chuckling. "No, that was not ' _okay_ ', Elliot. That was amazing!"

She turned around in his arms and kissed him softly, nudging his legs apart with her own leg.

"I'm glad. I wanna be the best you ever had," Elliot said, and his sudden insecurity was endearing.

"You are El. You most definitely are."

...

Olivia made sure that Elliot was completely satisfied too before they'd fall asleep, and during the night they found each other once more, making love slowly and almost sleepily before drifting off to sleep again in each other's arms. When Elliot woke up again in the early morning hours, he cleaned himself up in the bathroom, discarding his used condom and washing his hands as well as the areas of his body that had been covered with whipped cream the night before. He smiled and looked in the mirror. His smile faded when he thought about having to leave soon. He checked the clock on Olivia's nightstand when he slipped under the covers again, spooning her naked body. 5.15 am. He'd have to be up in two hours for a quick breakfast before catching the bus that would take him to the airport in Richmond.

He wrapped his right arm a little tighter around Olivia, who stirred in her sleep. He kissed her shoulder and rested his head on his left arm, his right hand caressing Olivia's soft belly gently.

"What time is it?" he heard her ask softly while she put her hand over his on her belly.

"5.15. We don't have to get up yet."

"Good," she whispered.

Elliot hesitated. Olivia wasn't moving and it looked like she was going back to sleep. Still, his body was responding to hers once again. He moved his right leg, nudging her right leg forward so he could slip his leg between hers. She would have to feel his growing erection pressing into her ass now.

"Hmmmm," Olivia hummed and he could hear she was smiling in the dark bedroom.

Olivia reached behind her, cupping Elliot's ass with her right hand and pulling him even closer to her. Elliot scooted down just a little, until his erect manhood slipped between Olivia's folds from behind. It felt so good to feel her warm wetness against his body and he felt himself twitch in anticipation. Elliot moved his right hand up and cupped one of her breasts, making her moan again. He propped himself up on his left elbow and leaned down to kiss her cheek and then her neck, placing small kisses on all the skin he could reach until Olivia turned her head and he could kiss her full on the lips.

He groaned and felt himself get even harder when their tongues managed to meet despite the slightly awkward angle. He moved his hips, pressing himself more intimately against her. This woman was made for this, he thought, and he wanted to make love to her every day, in every possible way.

Olivia pulled her lover even closer against her, loving the feeling of being wrapped up by his strong body. She felt so safe and although she had only just woken up minutes ago, her body was already responding fiercely to Elliot's touch. She felt his hardness move between her folds and her breathing picked up instantly. She couldn't believe they were going for round three but since it was their last night for a while, she couldn't imagine a better goodbye.

The movements of Elliot's hips were becoming a little more focused and he was brushing against her entrance.

"Is this okay Liv?" she heard him ask, and she loved him for asking. It would be their first time in this position, and she told him softly,

"Yeah, it's okay El."

Elliot shifted a little again, positioning himself better, and then moved his hips again.

"Oh yeah," Olivia sighed when she felt him start to enter her just a little. "Oh please baby."

It was all the permission Elliot needed. He tilted both of them forward a little until his angle was right and he could push all the way into her hot, soft body. Olivia moaned, clutching his ass and pulling him into her. Elliot kissed her neck again and latched on to her skin while thrusting again, a little harder and a little deeper. He was in heaven, feeling all of her, and it was even better than in his dreams. He squeezed her breast while finding a rhythm, and then moved his right hand down to find her clit while they sped up together.

Olivia surrendered to the strong man behind her, who was focused and powerful and yet loving and tender at the same time. She pulled her right leg up, opening herself up further for him and Elliot groaned, finding a new angle and penetrating her even deeper than before. He was hitting all the right spots and Olivia felt her climax approaching fast. She had never been this excited so fast while being taken from behind and she attributed it to the love and trust that was between them, as well as Elliot's very, very skillful manipulation of her body. His hand was working magic on her, while she felt all of him moving deep inside her, filling her up so completely that it moved her almost to tears.

Elliot didn't want to think about the fact that this would be their last time together for a while but was trembling inside while he buried himself as deep into Olivia as he could. He wanted her to come first. He needed her to come first, and when he felt her shudder against him, he knew she had to be close. He could feel himself slide in and out of her against his fingers while his hand caressed her most sensitive flesh and he couldn't hold back much longer. Just when he knew he was going to blow, Olivia cried out his name.

"El! Oh ... I love you!"

She came hard and grasped at the blanket in front of her, turning her head to scream into her pillow. She felt Elliot shudder as well, pushing through the resistance of her body, that was now even tighter around him, and then he groaned loudly as he reached his climax as well.

His body jerked as he came deep inside her and his mind went completely blank. All he could do was pant while he rode out his orgasm, enjoying the tight, warm wetness of the woman of his dreams. When their bodies finally stilled, he managed to whisper,

"I love you too."

They lay together, stil intimately connected, for several minutes, their bodies covered from the waist down. When Olivia shivered, Elliot carefully pulled out and pulled the covers up until they were over her shoulders. Olivia rolled on her back and found his cheek with her lips. She kissed him and rested her forehead against his jaw.

Just when Elliot thought she was drifting off to sleep, he felt her body tense. She moved away from him a little and sat up, reaching for the lamp on her nightstand and switching it on. When Elliot looked at her, his eyes still adjusting to the sudden light in the room, he could see shock in her eyes and he didn't understand.

"What Liv?" he asked her.

Olivia pushed the covers away and looked down, moving her hands between her thighs.

"What is it?" Elliot insisted. "Did I hurt you?"

Olivia took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second.

"El," she said, her voice trembling. "You didn't use a condom?"

Elliot sat up too, confused.

"I asked you," he said defensively, but he softened his voice immediately when he saw the genuine shock on her face. "I asked you if it was okay Liv."

"I ... I thought you meant the position," Olivia stammered.

 _Oh God, oh God._

Elliot dropped back on his back on the bed and covered his face with both hands. He couldn't believe how they had misunderstood each other. What a way to say goodbye. What a fucked up way to say goodbye to her!

"Shit!"

...

 **A/N: So ... how does this continue? Review?**


	45. Protection

**So the E/O feels are running high on Instagram and Twitter since last night's Chriska/Bensler selfie! I just had to finish another chapter to add to those feelings. Consider this one an early Christmas present. Short but sweet. Enjoy!**

...

 **45\. Protection**

Olivia turned her back to Elliot and sat on the edge of the bed, her feet tapping the floor nervously. She tried to keep breathing. Rationally, she could understand that it had been an honest misunderstanding. Elliot thought he'd asked her if it was okay to make love without a condom. Somehow, he had thought she knew what he was asking. That she would have felt it. He hadn't meant to force her to not use protection. But ...

But.

After Dean, she had sworn she would never, _ever_ let someone else make such a decision for her again. Dean had charmed her into it, telling her that he needed to feel all of her, so that they would truly be one. And that they'd be better able to satisfy each other. She had started using birth control pills for him, even though she knew she had a tendency to forget them. After getting pregnant anyway and then losing both Dean and their baby, she had sworn to never give up that control again. She had a right to protect her body from disease and from unwanted pregnancy. It was her body an no one else's, so it should be her decision.

And now this.

"Liv, baby."

Elliot's voice was laced with concern and fear. She felt the mattress dip behind her and then next to her. She looked at the big, strong man sitting next to her, totally defeated. And still gloriously naked, too, which somehow made him even more vulnerable. He reached for her hand and she let him take it.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am," he said softly, shaking his head. "I honestly thought ... but that doesn't matter. I should have been clearer. I ... I always use a condom. _Always_. With you it's just ..."

"It's different with me because I'm so special?"

Olivia couldn't help herself. She just blurted out some of the words that Dean had used back then, and her voice had been bitter. She glanced at Elliot and could see that she'd hurt him.

"El, I ... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

Elliot reached behind them and pulled the sheet towards them to cover them up a bit. Olivia pulled the sheet around her shoulders and Elliot draped the other end around himself and over his lap.

"It's okay Liv," Elliot said quietly. "I get it. I just don't know how to make this right. I love you and I want to be with you but I would never do such a thing without discussing it with you first. And I ... I thought I had."

He was shaking his head and she could feel his struggle. He was being sincere and she couldn't be angry with him. She wasn't. She was just caught off guard and she didn't know how to feel about the warm fluids she was still feeling between her thighs. She trusted Elliot, she really did. She just hadn't been prepared for this step. She had to ask herself what she would have said if she had understood Elliot correctly. And honestly, she didn't have an answer. She wasn't on birth control, so that was a factor. But aside from that, would she have been ready to forego protection? Olivia couldn't think straight and she needed to be alone for a few minutes. So she told Elliot she was going to use the bathroom.

"Be back in a minute," she promised.

Elliot stayed sitting on the bed and hung his head. This was not how he had pictured their last time together. And he was going to take this burden back home with him in a little more than an hour. Honestly, he didn't know how he should have handled things. He thought he'd asked her and he'd thought she had agreed. And now there was no fixing it. He worried that Olivia was now in the bathroom kicking herself and blaming him. He wanted to go after her but he didn't have anything to give her besides his apology. And somehow, he didn't think it was enough. He decided to start getting dressed, because he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep now. He might as well get ready for his trip back home. He swallowed hard when he got up and straightened out Olivia's bed. _Their_ bed now. He could only hope to share it again with her one day.

He had just put on his boxers and jeans, which were still unbuttoned when Olivia came back, dressed in a short white robe. She closed the bedroom door behind her.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, sounding worried and a little scared.

Elliot walked up to her immediately and pulled her against his chest, wrapping her up in his arms. He didn't want her to be afraid or to ever doubt his intentions.

"I just thought I'd start packing because I'm not going to be able to sleep now. I'm so sorry Liv," he mumbled in her hair.

He relaxed slightly when he felt Olivia's arms wrap around him, and her hands caressing his back.

"It's okay El," she mumbled back. "It's okay."

"Is it? Is it, really Liv?" Elliot asked, creating just enough distance between them so he could look into her eyes.

"Yes," she said, her voice sounding certain now, and she smiled when Elliot's eyes lit up.

The relief seemed to come off him in waves when he buried his face in her hair once again, holding her close to his chest. She could hear his heart beating fast. She had taken her time in the bathroom, cleaning herself up a little, and had had a short but good talk with herself in the mirror. She loved Elliot and she was not going to run away from that. The reflex to push him away was still there and she was aware of it, but she wasn't going to let him go back to New York with a proverbial anvil on his back. It wouldn't do either of them any good. They needed to part on good terms. And so she had made a decision, knowing she would throw Elliot off even more, but it was the only way. She wasn't going to screw this relationship up. Well, not yet, anyway. Not over one of the best sexual experiences she had ever had.

She felt Elliot tense up when she slid her hands down his back and into his jeans and boxers.

"Liv ..." he started, but she whispered 'sssshh' in his ear while cupping his perfect ass inside his boxer shorts and pulling his pelvis against hers.

"You're not going anywhere yet, Elliot," she told him softly.

She kissed the soft skin of his neck just below his jaw and kissed her way up to his mouth, grinding her body against his.

"Liv, what are you ..." Elliot tried again, but Olivia cut him off once again.

"El, stop talking. We only have an hour right?"

Olivia pulled her hands out of his boxers and placed them on his cheeks, making him look at her while she continued.

"If we're going to stop using condoms, we're going to do it right."

She smiled when she saw the shock on Elliot's face, that was quickly replaced by a mixture of disbelief, happiness and pure lust.

"A ... are you sure?" he stammered.

He could hardly believe it. She wanted him to ... Wow. Just, wow.

"Yeah baby, I'm sure," Olivia whispered.

Her heart was pounding against her rib cage but she knew she wanted this. Maybe she wouldn't have thought of it yet if it hadn't already happened by accident, but she knew she wanted it all with Elliot. She didn't know how long they would be apart after this day and they needed a positive goodbye, not a negative one.

Elliot didn't need any more encouraging. He stripped out of his jeans and boxers and then picked Olivia up bridal style, making her laugh out loud. His heart soared, hearing her laugh, and he placed her on the bed carefully, treasuring the love he had found in her and what she was willing to give him. Her trust was all he could ask for and it made him less afraid that she might still run away from him.

Her breath hitched when he opened her robe and he admired her beautiful body. Her nipples were hard already and he didn't think it was because of the chill in their room. Elliot draped his body over hers and kissed her deeply while nestling himself between her legs. She was perfect in every way and their bodies fit each other like a glove. Elliot felt almost like it was their first time all over again. Olivia had been the initiator then, too. He remembered her smooth skin and beautiful face in the glow of the camp fire. She was even more beautiful to him now, now that she was giving herself to him more than ever before.

Elliot kissed her deeply and she kissed him back hungrily, opening her body up even further for him. Inviting him in. Elliot leaned on his elbows, placing them on either side of Olivia's head, and looked at her face while he moved his hips, creating the friction between their bodies that he knew she needed. Olivia sighed and closed her eyes, her hands grabbing his hips to guide his movement, that she was clearly approving of.

"I'll never hurt you Liv," Elliot whispered, and her eyes opened.

Olivia looked up at the man on top of her and she knew he meant it. He'd never hurt her intentionally. She believed him.

"Make love to me, Elliot," she whispered back.

They both groaned softly when Elliot moved again and pushed into her gently. He lifted his upper body and they both looked down between their bodies, as if to make sure that this was really happening. Elliot pulled back and moved forward again. Knowing that there were no barriers between them anymore, made Olivia even more aware of him, moving inside her. This wasn't sex. This wasn't just a physical act. It was making love to each other, body and soul. Olivia wrapped her legs around her lover and he pushed in deeper, and harder.

"This okay?" he asked, but he didn't need to ask. Not anymore. It was all okay.

Time was forgotten as they explored each other's bodies again, the sequence of events no longer important because there was no risk of losing a condom along the way. They changed positions a few times and Olivia felt tears welling up in her eyes when Elliot showered her breasts and abdomen and even her hips and shoulders with kisses before finding her entrance again. He wasn't focused on the end goal of their lovemaking, he was focused on her. On loving her. She knew she had made the right decision, and when they reached another climax together and she felt Elliot releasing himself deep inside her, whispering sweet words of love and promise in her ear, she knew she had just lost another part of her heart to him. She wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders while they rode out their orgasms together, embracing him like she was embracing the love she had found in him. It had been unplanned, but it was the perfect way to end their two weeks together.

...

 **To be continued. Don't speculate too much about what's next, okay? Let me surprise you. Reviews make me happy.**


	46. Morning after

**46\. Morning after**

"I miss him already," Olivia sighed.

"I know the feeling," Kathy said with a sad smile.

The two best friends were sitting on Kathy's couch together, their phones in hand, re-reading the latest texts of their New York boyfriends. Elliot was on the plane now, and would be out of touch until he landed at JFK. Kyle was working, so there was a brief radio silence and the girls were hanging out to take their minds off their men. It wasn't really working. And Olivia needed to discuss something with her friend.

"Hey Kath."

"Hmmm?"

"Something happened this morning that I kind of hadn't expected."

Kathy put her phone away and turned towards Olivia. She was all ears, recognizing the tone of her friend's voice. Olivia explained in a few words how a small misunderstanding had lead to much more, and to a big decision. At least, it was a big decision for Olivia.

"Oh Liv, I'm happy for you," Kathy sighed. "You two are so right for each other. I know you hadn't planned this and it's a bit fast, but I'm proud of how you handled it."

Olivia nodded, giving her friend a half smile. She was actually proud of herself too, but there was something else on her mind.

"I will need to take the morning after pill."

"Oh. Right."

Kathy looked at her very seriously and asked,

Are you sure?"

Olivia looked straight ahead, knowing what her friend was asking her. Ever since she'd seen Elliot off, the question had been on her mind. What if? They'd done it twice and she knew she was able to conceive. When she had found out she was pregnant that first time, she'd been so, so happy. She wanted to live a meaningful life, and being a parent was one of the most meaningful things a person could be. To help a new life grow and find its way in life, to teach them how to contribute to making the world a better place. It was a huge responsibility but one that she had been ready for for years. She'd been ready then, and she was ready now.

The big question was, was Elliot ready? Their relationship was still so fresh. They hadn't discussed kids at all. They hadn't made any plans for the future yet. She didn't even know when she'd see him again. And was she ready to be tied to him permanently like this, whether he was ready or not? Would she be willing to raise a child alone?

"I don't even know where I am in my cycle, I never pay attention and I'm very irregular," Olivia said, "but I can't just let nature take its course. Not this time. I don't want to force Elliot into anything."

"He's a good guy, Olivia. I know he'd take responsibility."

"Exactly!" Olivia said, jumping up and starting to pace in front of the couch. "I know that too, but I don't want that to be the reason he chooses to stay with me. It has to be ..."

"For you, and for you alone."

"Yes."

"I understand, Liv."

"Thank you."

Olivia plopped back down on the couch and bit her lip when her friend wrapped her arms around her spontaneously.

"I understand," Kathy repeated.

Olivia swallowed hard. This shouldn't be a difficult decision and she knew it was the right thing to do. But deep inside her heart, she could feel a small door open again. A door that had been slammed shut forcefully almost two years ago and that she had tried to forget about. But it had opened, just a crack, and a narrow beam of light was shining through. Maybe ... just maybe it would be in the cards for her after all.

...

Simon was very understanding and he didn't even ask her any questions. The only thing he really needed to know was, that Olivia and Elliot were still okay. They were, she assured him. Simon gave her everything she needed. Her prescription for birth control pills was still in the pharmacy computer and he gave her a refill, explaining when she should start using them after taking the morning after pill. Olivia went straight home from the pharmacy to take the pill there, and sat on her bed for a while afterwards, thinking about how her relationship with Elliot was evolving. There had been a few huge time jumps because they hadn't seen each other for a while, but the time they _had_ spent together, had been spent well. Elliot seemed so certain that she was the one for him, that she was almost beginning to believe him. She loved him, of that she was sure, and it was a relief to find that she was capable of loving a man again after what she'd endured. Embrace it and live in the moment, she kept telling herself, remembering John Munch's wise words. She needed time to learn that, to really start living it, and she could only hope Elliot would give her that time.

Kathy had been right about Elliot. He really was a good guy. He had corny pick-up lines she thought with a grin, but he was a good guy. She checked her watch. He should be back in the city by now. She decided to text him and she smiled when he answered her within a few minutes.

 _'Did you get home safely or still traveling?'_

 _'Just getting home, took a cab. Call you in five?'_

Olivia dropped on her back on the bed and waited for her phone to ring. She answered it on the first ring, her heart fluttering a bit when she heard his voice.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"How are you doing Liv?"

"I'm good El."

"Really?"

She closed her eyes. She knew what he was asking.

"Yeah. I don't regret it El. It was ... it was great."

She almost sounded shy and squeezed her eyes shut, as if that would make it less embarrassing. But Elliot sounded as shy as she had when he said softly,

"It was more than great. You're perfect, Liv. I just wish ..."

"Nonono," she cut him off quickly. "We're not going to rehash that over and over again. It happened, we loved it, we did it again. I _really_ don't regret it Elliot. Besides, I took care of everything right after you left."

Elliot was silent for a few moments and Olivia wondered what was going on in his mind.

"That's great Liv," he said then, and she could feel his relief despite the distance between them.

 _See_ , she told herself. _He's not ready. This was the best decision._

"I just want us to be on the same page," Elliot continued, and Olivia bit her lip.

"We are," she assured him. "Don't worry about it. We are."

 _He's not ready._

...

Elliot told Olivia about his trip and the eccentric lady he had sat next to on the plane, and they laughed together. It almost felt like she was sitting right next to him on the couch. But she wasn't. He was back in his apartment and it had never felt emptier. He was due at the shooting range first thing Monday morning and wouldn't be getting any meaningful time off for a while after being cleared for active duty. He had no idea when he'd be able to go back to visit her. Long distance sucked, they both agreed. Olivia suggested some late night naughty phone conversations and just the thought made his body respond, but he knew that just her voice would never be enough for him.

They discussed the possibility of Olivia coming back to New York and she promised she'd check with Dana when she'd be eligible for a few days off, so they could make it a long weekend. Elliot sighed after they had finally ended the call. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down on the couch with his pile of take-out menus. His laundry could wait. He switched on the television just to have some sound in the apartment. He missed her already.

On the bus ride and flight back home, he'd thought about their morning, a lot. He loved Olivia for not allowing him to leave on a guilt trip. It had felt so good to be able to make love to her without any restrictions. He wouldn't say it wasn't good _with_ protection - because that was just what guys said who didn't want the hassle of having to put on a condom and cleaning it up afterwards - but he knew it had really meant something between them. Olivia hadn't made the decision lightly.

She had taken care of everything right after he'd left. Those words still echoed in his head. He'd been relieved to hear her taking things in such a relaxed way. He didn't want any tension between them and he tried to hold on to how she had reassured him that it was all okay. Because she had taken care of everything. He knew she meant birth control and that had gotten him thinking. He remembered how she had been with little Nina at the diner, and how he had felt when he found out she had once been pregnant and had lost the baby. She would be a wonderful mother and he could only hope she would want that with him. But he didn't want to put any pressure on her. He expected it to be a touchy subject. And despite how certain he was about Olivia being the one for him, he could understand that she would need more time. Not counting the huge gaps when they had been apart, they had only been dating for a few weeks.

Elliot shook his head. He'd met her last July and it was February now. And all this time, he'd known. It wasn't just a few weeks for him. He just needed to be patient with Olivia.

...

It had been months ago that she'd had _that_ dream, but that night, Olivia woke up crying over her lost baby. She lay on her back and put her hands on her flat stomach while she sobbed softly over the little life lost, and also over another possible life that would never be. Rationally, she knew the chance was slim but after _that_ dream, she wasn't feeling rational. She had dreamed about him a lot those first few weeks after the accident. Her son. She'd been certain she was having a boy and she'd already picked a name. Noah. Noah Porter-Benson. He'd been the most beautiful child she had ever seen, with big dark eyes and an unruly mop of dark hair, just like his daddy.

When she woke up and realized how differently her life had turned out, she didn't long for Dean like she had those first weeks. She wished Elliot was with her. She missed his strong arms around her. He was protective of the people he loved and she knew he would be a wonderful father. But she didn't want to push him. They both needed to be sure that they wanted to be together for the right reasons. She'd heard too many stories about people getting married because of a pregnancy, and more often than not, it ended badly. It was too soon to talk about starting a family together. She just needed to be patient with Elliot.

...

 **Hmmm. This may be an AU story but some of the communication skills of these two are eerily familiar, aren't they? :) Review? Thank you!**


	47. Need

**Suggestion: find the songs by Vince Gill and Shania Twain that are mentioned in this chapter on YouTube and listen to them to 'feel' this chapter ... if you can take it!**

...

 **47\. Need**

Elliot had been cleared for active duty and the perverts of New York were keeping him busy as usual. He had hoped that the cases would provide enough distraction as well as exhaustion for him not to miss Olivia too much, but as soon as he tried to relax for a bit in the cribs or at his apartment, his thoughts automatically drifted to her. He'd started going through his music collection when he had a rare night off. They had discussed their taste in music at length when he'd been with her just before the new year and he wondered if he owned any CD's with music she'd like. It had been two weeks since they had said goodbye for a while, and he tried to be patient while Olivia figured out when she could come back to New York. Putting on his own favorite Rhythm and Blues tunes made him a little melancholic, and before he knew it, he was blinking away a few tears. He could appreciate the newer artists like Alicia Keys and R. Kelly but his favorites were still the oldies like Otis Redding, Ray Charles and of course James Brown. When he heard It's a Man's world coming out of his speakers, he shook his head. Was he really nothing without his woman?

Olivia had mentioned a few artists she liked aside from Shania Twain and he remembered the names Patty Loveless and Vince Gill. He went on line to find music by these singers and after a long evening of listening to music, he found himself trying but failing to hold back a few tears while listening to Vince Gill's Never Knew Lonely.

 _No other lover ever really cared_  
 _When I've reached out for you you've always been there_  
 _Now I'm so far away and baby I'm scared_  
 _I never knew lonely til you_

 _You are my rock and the strength I need_  
 _To keep me sane in this life that I lead_  
 _Now I'm not with you and my broken heart bleeds_  
 _I never knew lonely til you_

 _I never knew lonely could be so blue_  
 _I never knew lonely could tear you in two_  
 _I never loved someone like I love you_  
 _I never knew lonely til you_

 _I can't make up for the times I've been gone_  
 _But I'll prove I love you in the words of this song_  
 _Back in your arms girl it's where I belong_  
 _I never knew lonely til you_

 _I never knew lonely could be so blue_  
 _I never knew lonely could tear you in two_  
 _I never loved someone like I love you_  
 _I never knew lonely til you_

After the song had ended and Elliot was wiping his eyes, his phone rang. It was Olivia and he tried to sound normal when he picked up.

"Hey El, is this a bad time?" Olivia asked immediately.

He assured her it wasn't, but she could tell something was off. So he admitted reluctantly that he'd been listening to some music that had made him miss her even more than usual. Olivia thought it was very sweet but Elliot had a hard time shaking off how torn he felt. On the one hand, he was so happy to hear her voice again, but on the other hand, it made him long to see her again even more. When Olivia told him she didn't have a date yet when she could come over, he hung his head. How was he going to get through this time apart when they didn't even know how long it would be? Captain Cragen had made it very clear to him that he wouldn't be able to spare anyone for a while, and after his sick leave, he would definitely not be the first one up for an extra day off.

Elliot tried to keep the conversation light but they were both struggling a bit. He asked Olivia what her plans were.

"I'm off to the Saloon in about an hour with Kathy," Olivia told him.

Right. It was the weekend. He hadn't noticed because he'd been working all day, and was on duty the next day as well.

"And you?" Olivia asked him.

"I'm turning in soon. Have to be in early tomorrow to relieve the night shift. We're doing an extensive surveillance of a suspect and his cronies."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They were both at a loss for words, and feeling the weight of being apart. After Elliot had wished her a nice night and told her to say hi to Kathy for him, they ended the call. Elliot hit replay on the Vince Gill song and swallowed hard. Was this ever going to get any easier?

...

Olivia was still waiting to hear from Dana when she would be able to take either a Friday or a Monday off so she could see Elliot again. Kathy had been struggling a little too, having been away from Kyle for three weeks now, but they were making plans. Kyle was going to come to town in a few days. Kathy was very excited and Olivia tried very hard to be happy for her. They were going to have fun tonight and she wasn't going to dwell on missing Elliot too much. There would be plenty of time for that when she was alone in her bed at night.

The Saloon was already packed when they arrived and they were greeted by the regular crowd as usual. Nick was there and he called her right away, waving at her over the heads of the other patrons. When they came closer, Olivia spotted a woman next to Nick that she hadn't seen before. Nick kept beckoning her to hurry up and he seemed pretty excited. The exotic woman on his arm was just grinning at him.

"Liv, hi! I want you to meet someone. This is Cynthia Mancheno ... Cynthia, this is Olivia. One of my best friends."

She shook hands with Cynthia and looked at Nick, expecting him to tell her why he was introducing them. But from the look in his eyes, she already knew.

"Cynthia just moved here because of her job and I'm showing her around," Nick said happily, winking at her.

"I see," Olivia smiled. "Well Cynthia, Nick here is the best tour guide you could ask for. I'm sure he'll show you all the special places he knows."

Cynthia smiled, looking at Nick, who just kept grinning widely. It was good to see Nick interested in another woman again. Later that night, she talked privately with him for a bit, needing to know that he was really ready for something new.

"So, you like Cynthia, right?" she asked him.

"I do," Nick nodded. "I'm not sure how much yet, but I'm giving it a go."

"Good for you Nick. Just ... be honest with yourself, okay? And with her."

Nick understood what she meant, and reassured her.

"Liv, you've been my sweetheart for as long as I can remember, but I'm no fool. We tried, and I'll be forever grateful for that. I know now, that living with you wouldn't make us happy. Not really. I'll always love you but I know now that we weren't meant to be together in the end."

Olivia choked up a little and put a hand against Nick's cheek, rubbing it gently with her thumb. She was happy and relieved that Nick was taking their breakup so well after all the years he'd tried to win her heart. Nick pulled her into a hug and they held each other for a few moments. His hug was different now. There was no longing in it anymore, just friendship and love. She had felt so bad for using Nick to try and forget about Elliot, but in the end, her mistake had yielded something good. Nick was ready to move on, and she hoped he would find a woman who would be worthy of his love.

She smiled when she watched him walk back to Cynthia and pull her with him on the dance floor. He would be alright.

"You okay?"

Olivia turned around and looked at Kathy, who was standing behind her and was following her gaze.

"Yeah," she replied with a smile. "Nick is gonna be okay."

"She's lovely."

"She is. I hope she will make him happy. He deserves it."

Kathy slipped her arm around her best friend's waist, knowing that she was missing her man right now.

"You deserve happiness too, Liv," Kathy said.

Olivia wrapped her arm around her friend's waist too and smiled at her.

"And so do you."

...

Later that night, a romantic song by Shania started playing and Olivia closed her eyes, swaying to the music a little while remaining seated on her bar stool. She didn't need to see the happy couples on the dance floor. The words of the song hit her and she found herself blinking away a few tears as the song played. She hadn't planned on ever needing another man again, but it had happened again anyway.

 _I'm not always strong and sometimes I'm even wrong_  
 _But I win when I choose and I can't stand to lose_  
 _But I can't always be the rock that you see._

 _When the nights get too long and I just can't go on_  
 _The woman in me needs you to be_  
 _the man in my arms to hold tenderly_  
 _Cause I'm a woman in love and it's you I run to_  
 _Yeah the woman in me needs the man in you_

 _When the world wants too much and it feels cold and out of touch_  
 _It's a beautiful place when you kiss my face_

 _The woman in me needs you to be_  
 _The man in my arms to hold tenderly_  
 _Cause I'm a woman in love and it's you I run to_  
 _Yeah the woman in me needs the man in you_

When she got home late that night, she found a message from Elliot on her phone, that contained a video. It was the song "Never knew Lonely" by Vince Gill. Olivia played the song and let her tears fall freely, alone in her bedroom. She made a decision then. They were both miserable apart. She needed to get back to New York, with or without Dana's permission.

...


	48. Surprise

**I did not know Chris Meloni was going to post that amazing shirtless selfie on Twitter on the 24th when I started writing this chapter! Just keep that image in mind while you read this ... :D**

...

 **48\. Surprise**

Another week had gone by. The surveillance had been successful and the SVU had managed to bring in part of an extensive trafficking ring, in collaboration with the the FBI. Even Interpol was involved now, and after some thorough interrogations, they had handed their suspects over to the feds. Captain Cragen had let the team go early on Friday afternoon and Elliot had basically collapsed when he got home that evening. He slept in on Saturday and then gave his apartment a much needed cleaning. When he took a break from scrubbing the bathroom, he sank down on the couch, a mug of coffee in one hand and his phone in the other.

Olivia had sent him a lot of pictures these past couple of days. It was nice to see Kyle and Kathy so happy together. He was happy to see Olivia smiling in her selfies with them, too. They hadn't talked much because Elliot had been so busy the past week, but they had texted, and he had the pictures. He'd even sent Olivia a few goofy selfies of him and Fin in their surveillance car. He knew Kyle would be heading back to New York tonight and he felt for the guy. He almost felt a little guilty for being the cause of him and Kathy meeting, because now they were stuck in a long distance relationship, just like he and Olivia. He shook his head at his own thoughts. Stuck? Maybe they were stuck for now, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Olivia was worth it. And if Kyle and Kathy ended up feeling the same way about each other, it would be worth it for them, too.

Elliot finished cleaning up the place and went out for some groceries, stocking up for the new work week ahead. After dinner he decided to go to the gym for a while to work out and after having a shower and a beer, he turned in early again. The family was meeting on Sunday afternoon at his mother's house, and he really looked forward to seeing all of them again. He was glad to have such a relaxing weekend after the busy weeks he'd had.

The next morning, Elliot was up early. He'd woken up at 6.30 am and just couldn't sleep anymore. He was all rested up and decided to do some push-ups and sit-ups before taking a shower and making breakfast. He didn't have any plans for the morning and would head out to his mom's place around two. He hoped Olivia would have some time to talk and he looked forward to calling her.

Elliot had just finished his workout when he heard a knock on his apartment door. He frowned. Who could it be at ... he checked the clock. 7.20 am? He walked to the door in just his sweatpants, carrying the towel he had used to wipe some sweat off his forehead and chest. He called out "Who is it!" and then checked the peephole. His heart stopped when he saw who it was. But how ...

Elliot unbolted and unlocked his door quickly and yanked it open, still not believing she was actually here.

"Liv ..."

"Surprise!"

His mouth fell open and when Olivia jumped forward, he wrapped his arms around her instinctively. He couldn't believe she was here. Was he dreaming?

Olivia was hugging him tightly and kissed his neck. Her shallow breathing told him she was holding back tears. This wasn't a dream. She was really here and he never wanted to let go of her. He rubbed her back and inhaled her familiar scent, trying to come to terms with the fact that she had just shown up on his doorstep when he hadn't even known she was coming to the city. When they finally broke apart, she was smiling widely through unshed tears.

"I traveled back with Kyle and he just dropped me off here."

Elliot hugged her again, whispering,

"I'm so happy to see you. I can't believe you're here."

His heart was pounding fast and he knew it wasn't from his earlier workout. When Olivia's hands started roaming his body, he remembered that he didn't have a shirt on. He swallowed hard when she started kissing his shoulders and then his pecs, rubbing his nipples with her thumbs. He groaned and grabbed the doorway with one hand for support.

"Why don't you close the door before we go any further," Olivia mumbled against his skin and she chuckled when Elliot quickly slammed the door to his apartment shut.

He'd been so stunned to see her that he hadn't even noticed it was still open.

"You're all sweaty, what were you up to?" Olivia asked him huskily, skimming her lips over his skin while she lifted her face slowly.

"I ... I was ... working out," Elliot choked out. "I was just going to take a shower."

"I could use a shower too."

Elliot swallowed hard again. Olivia was kissing his jaw. She had known she was coming, and had been prepared to see him again. He needed to snap out of his shock. And showering with her sounded like heaven to him.

"Let's go then," he managed to say, and finally finding his bearings again, he scooped Olivia up in his arms in one fluent movement.

Olivia laughed out loud and held on to him while he practically ran to the bathroom, carrying her until they were inside the small space. He set Olivia down to turn on the water and when he turned back around, Olivia had pulled her pants and panties down and was using the toilet quickly. She peed in front of him completely unembarrassed, and somehow the natural way she was acting with him, made him love her even more. It reminded him of how carefree she'd been at the lake when they'd gone swimming in their underwear. Elliot stripped out of his sweats and within seconds, Olivia was taking off her clothes next to him. He grabbed her around the waist and dragged her into the shower, where their laughter was soon replaced by soft moans and whispers as their mouths found each other under the hot spray.

Elliot had to make an effort not to push her up against the wall right then and there. But he wanted to savor these moments. He didn't know how long she was going to stay and he tried to go slow. They washed each other's hair and bodies and he enjoyed making Olivia squirm by using his sponge on her most sensitive body parts. She wasn't holding back though and by the time they were all cleaned up, he was more than ready to come in her hand.

"Liv ... please," he grunted, trying to turn off the water behind him.

She finally gave him a short reprieve and Eliot quickly grabbed a towel to dry them off with. Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck again and the feeling of their moist, warm bodies against each other made both of them moan. Elliot stopped trying to dry them off any further and lifted her up. Olivia wrapped her legs around him and Elliot stepped out of the shower carefully, taking her straight to his bed. He settled her down on his unmade bed carefully and she dropped back on her back, her wet hair fanned out around her flushed face. He loved how long it was getting and he quickly joined her, settling his body between her legs and tangling his hands in her hair.

"I love your hair like this," he told her, staring down into her big brown eyes.

"What, wet?" she asked with a grin and he bit her lower lip playfully before answering,

"No, long."

Olivia wrapped her hands around the back of his neck.

"So are you going to look at my hair all morning?" she asked with a playful smile.

He grinned mischievously.

"Hell no!"

His mouth was on hers then, and they rolled over on their sides on the bed. She smelled like his body wash and like herself and Elliot was drunk with love and lust for this woman. He still couldn't fathom that she was actually here but he was going to enjoy every single second they had together.  
He'd had two nights of uninterrupted sleep while Olivia had traveled all night to get to New York, but she kept up with him effortlessly and eventually ended up on top. Elliot bucked up when she sank down over him and groaned loudly. He was home again, exactly where he wanted to be. He looked at her body while she rode him, her hands tangled in her own hair, her eyes closed and her head lolling to the side. He moved one hand over her breast while the thumb of his other hand found her little nub of pleasure. Olivia sighed and picked up some speed, and he loved how uninhibited she was and how fiercely she was taking him. He felt her clench around him and when she dropped forward, bracing herself on her forearms, he knew she was close. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist, holding her close to him as they were reaching the climax of their lovemaking.

"El!" Olivia gasped and it was music to his ears.

She bit down on his shoulder and groaned, and he knew she was shattering around him, her body pumping him until he joined her in ecstasy. When she went limp on top of him, Elliot kissed her neck and shoulder and caressed her back with his hands, needing to feel that she was really there and this wasn't a very vivid dream. When Olivia finally lifted her head to look at him, he saw tears in her eyes. He rolled them over until they were on their sides, facing each other, and wrapped her up in his arms.

"I missed you so much baby," he told her softly, hoping to encourage her to talk to him.

He heard her sniffle once, her face hidden in the crook of his neck, and then she looked at him and admitted,

"I missed you too. I couldn't stay away any longer."

She sucked her lower lip between her teeth to keep it from trembling and he kissed her softly.

"I'm so glad. Dana finally let you go?"

"No. I told her I was leaving and she could either fire me or write it up as unpaid leave."

"You're amazing Liv," Elliot sighed. "But can you afford unpaid leave? How long are you staying?"

Olivia snuggled closer to him and Elliot managed to pull his blanket around her shoulders.

"I don't know how long yet. And I can afford it," Olivia told him. "I still have all the money from the sale of my mom's house. I put it aside for a rainy day, or maybe to buy a place of my own one day."

Elliot kissed the top of her head and caressed her back while they talked softly.

"And now you're going to spend it all on me?"

Olivia chuckled.

"Not _everything_. It just means I don't have to worry about money for now."

"Well, you're staying with me for free Liv. No charge."

"I'm chipping in for groceries El," Olivia said determinedly and Elliot wisely didn't object.

"It's still early. Why don't you get some rest and then I'm taking you to my mom's house to meet my family," Elliot suggested.

He couldn't wait to finally introduce Olivia to his mother and sister.

"Oh, that's today?" Olivia mumbled, and he could tell she was starting to relax. She would be asleep in no time.

"Yeah, but we've got a couple of hours so get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you," he whispered, and sleepily she whispered back,

"Love you too."

...

After Elliot had watched Olivia nod off, he had untangled himself from her carefully and had gotten dressed. He'd made himself some breakfast and when he sat down on the couch with a fresh mug of coffee and a newspaper, he shook his head. He couldn't believe she was actually here, sleeping in his bed. And his family was finally going to meet her. He smiled when he heard the first lines of the song that was playing on his mp3 player softly. It was "Whenever you come around" by Vince Gill. He'd actually started appreciating the heartfelt songs by the man.

 _The face of an angel, pretty eyes that shine_  
 _I lie awake at night wishing you were mine_  
 _I'm standing here holding the biggest heartache in town_  
 _Whenever you come around_

 _I get weak in the knees, and I lose my breath_  
 _Oh, I try to speak, but the words won't come_  
 _I'm so scared to death_  
 _And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down_  
 _Whenever you come around_

 _I feel so helpless, I feel just like a kid_  
 _What is it about you that makes me keep my feelings hid?_  
 _I wish I could tell you, but the words can't be found_  
 _Whenever you come around_

 _I get weak in the knees, and I lose my breath_  
 _Oh, I try to speak, but the words won't come_  
 _I'm so scared to death_  
 _And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down_  
 _Whenever you come around_

Listening to the lyrics, he was glad he didn't have to hide his feelings for Olivia. He couldn't imagine a world where he could be in love with her and never be allowed to show it or to tell her. It would be hell on earth. He was grateful fate hadn't been that cruel to them.

...

 **Yeah, that last line was a reference to the alternate reality that was presented to us on SVU. That's why we love fanfiction so much! Please review!**


	49. Meet the Stablers

**49\. Meet the Stablers**

When Olivia woke up, it took her a while to remember where she was. New York. Elliot's apartment. Elliot's bed. She'd made it! She rolled over to Elliot's side of the bed and couldn't resist smelling his pillow for a moment, smiling at herself for her juvenile jesture. Then, her stomach clenched and she felt a bout of nerves wash over her. She'd taken quite a leap, leaving town like she had. And now she was going to meet Elliot's family. Was she doing the right thing? Weren't they moving too fast? Olivia rolled on her back and sighed, pulling the sheet up to her chin to cover her naked body. She'd missed Elliot so much that she'd been willing to risk her job to see him again. It was scary. She'd been a lovesick puppy once and she thought she'd never be so infatuated with a man ever again.

It wasn't the same with Elliot, she kept telling herself. He'd been honest with her up front, and had proven several times that he was willing to make sacrifices for her. He had great friends that she'd actually met. And he wanted her to meet his family. However scary, Olivia decided that this was a good thing. She'd never met any of Dean's friends or his family.

Olivia sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, and told herself out loud,

"Man up Olivia. He's not Dean."

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door before it opened a crack.

"Hey," she said softly, and Elliot pushed the door open a little further.

"Hey. I thought I heard you moving about. Can I come in?"

"It's your bedroom El," Olivia said with a shy smile, suddenly aware of her naked state.

"Hmm, you're right about that," Elliot replied grinning, and he jumped on the bed, tackling her like a football player.

Olivia shrieked and tried to get out of his hold, but Elliot's arm held her in place effortlessly. He moved his face close to hers and she stopped squirming when she looked into his eyes.

"It's so good to have you here," he said softly and his bedroom voice made her feel tingly all over.

"It's good to be here," she replied before pulling him in for a kiss.

She exhaled slowly and contently when he kissed her deeply, caressing her body over the sheet while pulling her close to him. When they broke apart, Elliot asked if she was up for some lunch.

"Lunch? What time is it?"

"Almost noon."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Elliot kissed her nose and smiled.

"You should stay. I bet you've never slept this good anywhere," he told her.

"Nah, I was just tired from the long trip," Olivia teased, and Elliot reciprocated immediately, tickling her until she was completely out of breath.

She'd lost the sheet along the way and when Elliot ogled her body, she shoved him playfully.

"Down boy. I need food," she grinned.

...

Elliot was an amazing cook. He'd learned to take care of himself early on, he reminded her, but this was more than taking care of himself. Lunch was a complete three course meal, consisting of a salad with nuts and fruits, banana pancakes and perfectly baked eggs with avocado spread on rye toast. If Olivia hadn't been hungry, she would have _made_ room in her stomach for all that delicious food. When Elliot even produced fresh homemade apple juice, she sighed,

"I'm moving in with you. I'm gonna gain a hundred pounds but I'm never leaving again."

Elliot's eyes sparkled when he leaned over the modest breakfast table to kiss her softly.

"You are free to stay here forever."

Olivia swallowed hard, suddenly feeling the seriousness of their remarks. Forever? That was a huge word. Elliot probably registered her slight discomfort, and sat back in his chair, watching her. She cocked an eyebrow, not averting her eyes but not smiling anymore either.

"Would you want to?" Elliot asked her, and he sounded a little less certain of himself than before.

"El, it's just ... it's a figure of speech. I meant you're a great cook."

She was deflecting and she knew it, but it was too early in the day to have this kind of serious conversation. Well, for her anyway, having woken up just half an hour ago.

"Thank you," Elliot said but she could see a hint of disappointment in his eyes.

He'd been the most expressive one from the beginning, talking about love and commitment more easily than she did, but he couldn't really mean what he'd said earlier, could he? He wasn't going to let her just move in and stay forever. Right? Right. Olivia tried to focus on the delicious food again and was relieved when Elliot changed the subject, commenting on the weather. She grinned at him and tossed a piece of walnut at him. They both laughed and she relaxed. It _was_ good to be here.

...

Bernadette was overjoyed to meet Olivia and Elliot winked at her when the older woman gave her a crushing hug as soon as she opened the door for them.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you dear. And you're even more beautiful than my son told me," Bernadette gushed.

"Words will never do her justice mom," Elliot said, and his mother turned to him to give him an equally crushing hug.

"Very true Elliot. Come in, both of you. The others are here already."

Elliot grabbed Olivia's hand and she followed him dutifully until they were in the spacious, light living room with an amazing view of the ocean and the beach. An older couple and two younger women were already there. One of the women jumped up to greet them, and Olivia knew this had to be Elliot's sister Maureen. She had the exact same blue eyes as her brother. Maureen greeted her cordially and then introduced her girlfriend Vivian to her.

"Vivian Arliss, so nice to meet you Olivia," the blonde said, giving her a firm handshake, and Olivia decided she liked both women already.

The older couple stood up as well and Elliot told her they were his uncle Sam and aunt Ruth on his father's side. They all shook hands and Elliot's uncle clapped him on the shoulder. He didn't say anything and Olivia looked up at Elliot, a question in his eyes.

"He's just happy for me. He can tell that I'm happy at last," Elliot told her softly near her ear.

His warm breath tickled her skin and she felt her face flush. She bit her lip while creating a little distance between them. She caught Maureen's eye and the woman gave her a wide smile. They all couldn't have made her feel more welcome. When Elliot told her he was going to see if his mom needed any help serving everyone, she sat down on the couch next to Maureen, who struck up a conversation with her immediately, asking her all about her life back home, and telling her about her own job. And about Vivian of course.

"She's a real talker," Vivian said with a grin when Maureen finally paused for a second, "but she's got a beautiful soul."

Maureen squeezed her girlfriend's knee and both women smiled at each other warmly. Just then, Elliot walked up with a tray filled with muffins, and he smiled at her.

"Nice bunch huh?" he asked, and Olivia nodded. "There's a blueberry muffin too," he added, nodding in the direction of one of the muffins.

Olivia took it, mouthing 'thank you' at him. She could hardly believe he'd remembered it was her favorite. Bernadette followed with coffee and tea, and a little while later the room was filled with friendly chatter. Elliot had squeezed into the last remaining seat next to Olivia on the couch and she saw him look at her from time to time, no doubt to check if she was having a good time.

She was. She enjoyed Maureen's stories about when she and Elliot had been kids, getting into trouble at school. It came as no surprise that Elliot had always been ready to save his sister, whether she needed saving or not. Elliot shook his head, muttering something about Maureen showing no gratitude at all, but they all laughed and Elliot winked at Maureen. Olivia loved to see how normal families interacted, not having had much of a family life growing up. She knew things hadn't always been normal in the Stabler household, but the bond between brother and sister hadn't been damaged by their father's rage. Perhaps it had even grown stronger because of it.

A while later, they all decided to go for a stroll on the beach. It was a bit windy outside, but other than that, it was a perfect winter day with clear skies. They bundled up and Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulder when they all headed out.

"This is a great place," she told him as they followed Maureen and Vivian, who had linked their arms with Bernadette's so she'd have some support on both sides. "And your little family is very nice."

"They like you too Liv. I can tell," Elliot said as they walked up to the shoreline.

Olivia looked out over the water as they walked and thought she could get used to such a family life. She thought of Simon and Sharon back home, and Kathy and Nick. Even Dana and Noah. They were all her family, although her only blood relative was Simon. She felt at home with them and didn't really want to choose. But a choice had to be made, if she wanted to keep Elliot in her life. Her thoughts were interrupted when the small group halted to watch a brave surfer trying to conquer the waves, and when they continued walking, Vivian walked up next to her.

"You like the family, Olivia?" she asked her kindly, and Olivia nodded, squeezing Elliot's hand that was holding hers now.

"I know what it's like to be the new girl. Wasn't really that long ago for me, but they're a very accepting group."

Olivia smiled and glanced at the woman next to her. She seemed incredibly strong, but there was a trace of pain in her dark eyes as well.

"Does your family accept you, and who you are?" she asked Vivian.

Vivian scoffed and looked at some point in the distance, letting the wind blow her long blonde hair out of her face.

"I don't have a family. Not anymore."

"Oh ... I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I have Maureen now, and her family. I have everything I need."

Vivian's eyes had lit up and Olivia believed her, but she was still a little intrigued by Vivian's story and wondered why she didn't have a family anymore. Vivian seemed to pick up that she was wondering, and she saw her exchange a look with Elliot, who was walking on Olivia's other side.

"It was just my mom and me," Vivian elaborated then. "She died."

"Same here," Olivia said, wondering if Elliot had told Vivian about her. "Only I found out later that I have a half-brother."

"You never knew your dad either?" Vivian asked.

"No. I didn't find out who he was until after he died."

"I still don't know who my father is," Vivian said. "My mother used to be very secretive about it. When she was young, it wasn't proper for a girl to be alone and pregnant."

"That's understandable. But maybe she didn't know who it was?" Olivia suggested.

"Right. You think she was sleeping around _that_ much?"

Vivian sounded a little annoyed and Olivia realized she had spoken from her own situation without thinking about how it would sound. She quickly corrected herself.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I mean maybe ... maybe she was attacked."

Vivian though about it for a moment, and then said,

"You mean raped."

Vivian had stopped walking and Elliot and Olivia stopped walking too, facing the blonde.

"She gets that from you, right?" Vivian asked Elliot, pushing her finger into his chest.

"No," Elliot told his sister-in-law softly. "She got that from experience."

Vivian's mouth formed an O but she didn't make a sound as she studied Olivia from head to toe. Then finally she asked,

"You were ..."

"No no, not me," Olivia was quick to say. "My mom. By my father. It's how she got me."

"My God ..."

"Yeah, well," Olivia shrugged. "I'm used to the idea now. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay. You didn't. I just ... never thought of that possibility I guess."

They continued walking and Olivia glanced at Elliot, wondering if she had overstepped. Vivian was now deep in thought and when the small group decided to turn around and head back, she caught up with Maureen again.

"I really didn't mean to upset her," she whispered to Elliot, who wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"She knows that Liv. Don't worry about it. It's not like she's ever going to find her father now."

"What about DNA?" she asked softly. "You catch guys all the time with DNA, right? You could run her blood through the system."

Elliot gave her a lopsided smile.

"You're turning into a real detective there, Miss Benson."

Olivia shoved him playfully, but she'd been serious. And she wanted to know more about these things. Get to know Elliot's line of work better and see if she could work with the victims of rape and domestic violence. They walked the rest of the way in silence, but the thoughts stayed in the back of her mind for the rest of the day.

...

Elliot decided to pull Maureen aside for a moment when they had all taken off their coats and Sam was starting a fire in the fireplace. Ruth and Bernadette went into the kitchen to start dinner, and Vivian and Olivia were in the living room.

"Hey sis, a moment?" Elliot whispered after Maureen had hung her coat on the rack by the front door.

"Sure big bro, what's up?" Maureen said with a grin. "Is Olivia comfortable with us?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's fine. I just wanted to give you a heads up. She talked with Vivian earlier and they ended up telling each other that they both never knew their father."

"I know," Maureen nodded. "Viv still wonders about hers sometimes."

"Well, Olivia never knew her father either. She only knew he was her mother's rapist."

Maureen blinked a few times and pulled her lower lip between her teeth.

"So she suggested that maybe the same thing had happened to Viv's mom. She didn't mean to upset her, she just spoke from her own experience."

Maureen glanced at her girlfriend through the glass door of the small hallway, a concerned look in her eyes.

"Thanks for telling me El. I'll talk to Viv when we get home. And tell Olivia it's okay, will you? I'm just sorry that she has to live with the knowledge that her father is a rapist."

"She did find out who he was," Elliot told his sister. "Turns out he was a very confused, depressed man who probably had a blackout when he grabbed Liv's mother in an alley. He wasn't a classic predator. His widow took her in after her mom died, and she lives with her and her half-brother."

"That is very big of that woman," Maureen said and Elliot agreed that Sharon had a big heart. "So how long is she staying?"

It was Elliot's turn to look at his girlfriend through the glass door. He was relieved to see that things hadn't gotten awkward between Olivia and Vivian.

"I don't know," he said pensively.

He really had no idea, but if it was up to him, he wished she'd never leave again.

...

 **I hope this was worth the wait. Reviews make me happy!**


	50. Overthinking

**I feel like the interest in this story may be dwindling a bit. However, I'm not very far away from the emotional climax of the story, so I hope you will all stick with me until the end. Here is the fiftieth chapter for you!**

...

 **50\. Overthinking**

The family had a relaxed dinner together and Elliot and Olivia left around nine. Elliot would need to get up early the next morning and they wanted to spend some time together before turning in. Elliot was hesitant to bring up how long Olivia was planning to stay, and when she didn't mention it either, he let it go for now. She told him she planned on contacting Pippa again, and use her contacts to try and find a shelter or an organization where she might be able to do some volunteer work. Elliot suggested that, with the right papers, she might get a paid job. Olivia had already thought of that and was going to collect information on classes she could take. Elliot told her she was most welcome to use his laptop for research.

The next week went by quickly. Elliot was busy with two cases, and didn't make it home for dinner every day. Olivia was getting acquainted with several take-outs in the area but she had to admit that nothing beat Elliot's home-cooked meals. She had followed Pippa around for a day and had spoken with some people at Children's Services, who in turn had put her into contact with a shelter for mothers and children who had fled an abusive spouse slash father. She spoke with the staff there, who told her where she could find information on classes that were required if she wanted to work for their organization, that had several shelters in the city.

Elliot was happy to see Olivia so engaged, and when they finally had a quiet evening together on Thursday, he took a chance and asked her if she was planning to stay and do the classes in New York. Olivia bit her lip and he could see the wheels turning in her head. She seemed to be debating something and he really wanted to know which options she was weighing, if any.

"Feel free to think out loud, honey," he told her. "I'd be happy to help you make up your mind."

Olivia smirked at him and he thought she looked adorable, dressed in one of his t-shirts and what he thought was one of his shorts too, sitting sideways on the couch in something resembling the lotus position but leaning on her elbows, staring at the screen of his laptop that was sitting between them on the couch. She almost looked like a doll that had been bent over too far but she seemed absolutely comfortable.

"You just want me to stay so you won't have to sleep alone," she told him, and he wondered if she was deflecting on purpose.

He tried for a serious answer again.

"Liv, I just want you to do what makes you happy, and you seem pretty into all of this stuff."

Olivia nodded and sat up a little straighter. Elliot couldn't help looking at her incredibly long bare legs, that were now folded up in a way he hadn't know they could.

"I am," Olivia said, and when his eyes flicked back up to hers, he knew she'd caught him staring.

She moved one leg from beneath herself and stretched it in his direction before placing her foot on the floor slowly. Elliot shook his head. The woman was amazing, and a major tease.

"So?" he asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Still just gathering information," Olivia said noncommittally.

When she moved the laptop to the coffee table and moved her other leg towards him, he was officially distracted. He grabbed her ankle and pulled her closer to him.

"You're such a tease," he growled, pulling her into his lap so she was straddling him, and Olivia laughed out loud.

"And you love it, detective Stabler."

"I do," he admitted.

She started kissing him and Elliot surrendered to her. His hands moved underneath her t-shirt, _his_ t-shirt, and he hummed when he hit bare skin everywhere. She wasn't wearing a bra. He moved one hand down her back and inside the shorts she'd stolen from his closet to check if she was wearing any underwear. She wasn't. She was going to be the death of him. He'd been incredibly frustrated whenever he'd come home so late that she'd been asleep already. He'd even been called very early in the morning, just when they had been about to make love. It was great to have her with him but his need for her only seemed to grow now that she was within reach. It wasn't just physical, not at all, but the things she did to his body ... he'd found himself daydreaming on the job several times over the past few days.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Elliot knew Olivia had just ended a conversation without answering his questions but right now, his attention was totally elsewhere. Her hands were under his shirt and she was grinding into him, making him wish he didn't have so many clothes on. Olivia had commented on his suits when she first saw his normal work attire, but right now he was glad he wasn't wearing jeans. The fabric of his dress pants was much thinner and he was probably already making a stain. He managed to stand up from the couch, lifting Olivia up as he stood, and she held on tight while he carried her into the bedroom. He would never get enough of her, he was sure of it. Still, there seemed to be a sense of sadness in the room as they undressed each other and made love slowly and tenderly. Elliot tried to stop several times to ask Olivia if anything was wrong, but she wouldn't let him. She had him wrapped around her little finger and he could never refuse her.

When they were both satisfied and lying close together under the covers, he kissed her forehead, deciding not to push her any further. Olivia didn't say anything. She just rested her head on his shoulder contently and caressed his chest, making invisible drawings on it with her fingers. Elliot wanted to ask her what she was thinking but he wasn't ready to break the quiet spell they were under at the moment. She might get annoyed because he kept trying to get her to talk, and he didn't want to fight with her. He wondered if she was homesick and made a mental note to ask her that soon. But not now. They were so close now, at least physically. When Olivia turned her head to look at him, he smiled and kissed her softly on the lips.

"You okay?" she asked him, and he almost laughed at the irony that she was asking him the question.

He wasn't going to ask her the same though, and tried to use the right words to reassure her.

"Yeah," he said, and he kissed her again. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

The instant the words had left his mouth, he realized his mistake. Olivia tensed up ever so slightly, but he felt it anyway. He was so attuned to her, that he registered every little thing about her. Maybe that was his problem, that he registered too much and then looked for problems where there were none. It came with the job, he told himself. But her reaction to the word 'forever' had been unmistakable. He turned on his side, facing her and looked into her eyes. She dropped her gaze to his lips and was telling him without words that their little conversation was over. When she moved closer to kiss him, he gave in to his love for her and his need to be close to her. Still, he lay awake just looking at her for quite a while after they had settled in for the night. One moment he thought he knew her inside and out, and the next, she was a complete mystery to him. He remembered loving brown eyes because they were so mysterious. But right now, he wanted nothing more than to unravel Olivia completely, and finally really connect with her. If only he could find the right words to say, or the right question to ask ...

...

Elliot was up early again the next morning, and Olivia listened to the sounds of him taking a quick shower, getting dressed in one of those suits he wore to work, and making breakfast. He looked really handsome in a suit, not nerdy at all like she might have expected. He was off saving the world again soon, leaving her to find her own way in the city. A spark had been ignited in her and she was absorbing new information like a sponge, but in moments like these, alone in Elliot's apartment, she couldn't help feeling a little lost. She didn't feel completely at home in New York yet, but she wasn't sure if she'd still fit in back home either. Her world had gotten so much bigger so fast, but she did miss her friends and her little family back home.

After sending Elliot off with a hug and a kiss at the door, she decided to text Kathy to see if she was up yet. Kathy texted her back within five minutes, telling her she was working a night shift and would be off at eight. Olivia asked her to text her when she was available to talk, which Kathy would. She wandered into the kitchen and smiled when she spotted an extra plate with a nutritious breakfast on the kitchen counter. She took the plate and a glass of juice with her into the living area, switched on the TV and watched an early morning news show while she ate her breakfast.

Her phone beeped around 8.15 am and she knew it was Kathy, letting her know she was home. She muted the TV and called her best friend quickly, settling in for a nice chat because she knew Kathy was up for at least an hour after a night shift before she'd get some sleep.

"Hey Liv, how's life in the Big Apple?"

"Oh, it's fine," Olivia said quickly, "I'm learning so many new things. I'm considering taking some classes to become a counselor for victims of domestic violence."

"That's great Liv, but you don't sound as happy as I had hoped you'd be."

That was Kathy. Never beating around the bush and always bluntly honest. Olivia knew there would be no point in denying anything, and that was the exact reason she had wanted to talk to her friend. She could just be honest with Kathy and tell her about her own conflicting thoughts and feelings, without needing to worry that she would be judged or hit with unhelpful platitudes. So she explained to Kathy that she felt like she was floating between two worlds, and wasn't sure where she belonged anymore.

"Do you love Elliot?" Kathy asked.

"Of course I do."

"Liv. Listen to the question. Do you. Love. Elliot?"

Olivia breathed out slowly. She knew what Kathy was really asking her. Did she love Elliot so much that she'd be willing to give up a part of her life, to gain another part? When she didn't answer the question again, Kathy told her,

"It's the only question that really matters, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Olivia admitted. "I suppose you're right."

"Nobody can tell you to just be ready Liv. I can tell you a thousand times that he's the perfect guy for you, but it will never be enough until _you_ tell _me_ he's the perfect guy for you."

"Remember what that man said, Elliot's co-worker?" Olivia asked her friend.

"The older guy? Yeah, I do. And he's right."

"I know."

John Munch hadn't regretted any of his marriages. He had loved when he got the chance. She knew she loved Elliot. But she wasn't planning on getting married four times. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to get married even once. But she did want to find the right guy to start a family with. The _one_ guy to start a family with. Did she love Elliot enough? Did he love her enough? Words came easily to Elliot but not to her. Maybe she was prone to overthinking too much. Well, it wasn't really a question. She did overthink things. But she didn't want to make life-altering decisions lightly. So she made them too heavy in stead, Kathy had told her a few times already.

"Maybe ... maybe I should go home for a while. You know, just to sort out my thoughts and feelings," she suggested.

"You've only been there a week Liv," Kathy said. "You'll break his heart if you leave again after just one week. I'm sure Elliot is expecting you to stay longer."

Olivia bit her lip and closed her eyes. She didn't want to hurt Elliot. She just didn't know where she fit in anymore. When her phone buzzed against her ear, she jolted and looked at it. Her call to Kathy was still open but she'd gotten a text from Elliot. She told Kathy to hold on while she read it quickly.

 _'Getting together with the guys tonight. Dec is bringing his fiancé. They want to see you. You game?'_

She sighed and told Kathy what the message said. She knew she couldn't refuse and she also knew this wouldn't be the right time to talk about going home for a while.

"Give it a few more days Liv. Don't screw this up before you know what you want," Kathy told her. "Elliot can only take so much."

She promised her friend that she would take her time making up her mind. After ending the call, she felt like crying a little. She hadn't even asked Kathy how she was doing without Kyle and she felt like a lousy friend. On top of that, she felt like a lousy girlfriend. Elliot's friends as well as his family had all given her such a warm welcome, and here she was, second-guessing herself once again. They didn't deserve this. _Elliot_ didn't deserve this. Maybe he was just too good for her.

Despite her confusion she replied to Elliot's text, letting him know she would love to see the guys again and was looking forward to tonight. She felt like a hypocrite.

...

 **If you're still enjoying this, or even if you don't, I'd really like to hear from you! Send me a PM or a review? Thanks!**


	51. Homesick?

**What? Another chapter so soon? Well, what can I say. Your reviews inspire me to keep going. Enjoy!**

...

 **51\. Homesick?**

It was great to see the guys again, and Elliot proudly introduced Olivia to Rebecca, Declan's fiancé, who was sitting next to him. Rebecca had accepted Declan's proposal and they were trying to set a date for their wedding. It wasn't easy with their busy schedules, and Rebecca said it would probably be at a chapel somewhere in the world where they would be deployed at the time, and they all laughed about it. It didn't really matter how or where, Declan said, as long as Rebecca would be his forever. Rebecca couldn't agree more.

Elliot glanced at Olivia, trying to gauge her reaction to their friends' wedding plans and how laid back they were about it. Olivia was sitting next to Pippa, who had joined Robert after work for their little reunion, and he was glad she was getting along so well with the counselor. He hoped she'd hit it off with Rebecca as well, because aside from his family, these were the most important people in his life. He wanted Olivia to feel at ease with them, and to know they were her friends too.

Olivia seemed okay now, but he hadn't been able to shake off the feeling all day that he'd had the night before. The sadness that had hung around them while they had made love, almost as if Olivia was creating an emotional distance between them. There was no physical distance, not at all, but he knew that wasn't enough. Physical intimacy was a huge, huge bonus as far as he was concerned, but the most important thing was how close their hearts were to each other. Without that emotional bond, sex would be what it had always been for him. Just sex. And that was not what he wanted with Olivia, or _for_ her. He loved her too much to allow their relationship to be reduced to just a physical one.

He focused on the conversation at hand when Rebecca asked Olivia casually about where she was from and how she liked it in New York. Olivia told the psychologist a little about her home town and her job at the diner, and then told her about the classes she was considering taking to help victims of domestic violence.

"So Elliot has infected you a little?" Rebecca asked, winking at Elliot. "It would be great if you could pick up where the NYPD leaves off after solving a case."

"Yeah, it would," Olivia said, smiling at Elliot. "But I've always been drawn to people who have been mistreated by others. Here in New York, I just see that the need for healing is much greater than I thought."

"That's wonderful Olivia. I can really see you making a difference for other people. You have it in you."

"And Rebecca knows these things, you know," Declan added proudly. "She knows how to read people. She says you have it in you? Then you do."

"Thank you," Olivia said, smiling at the happy couple. "I'm hoping to decide soon what I'm going to do."

Pippa joined in, explaining to the others what Olivia's options were, and Elliot just enjoyed watching her interact with his friends. He caught Rebecca looking at him and smiled at her. She nodded at him, and he raised his eyebrows in question.

"I can see how much you love her," Rebecca said quietly, leaning closer to him so the others wouldn't hear her.

"Yeah," Elliot said a little sheepishly. He could imagine that it was written all over his face. He looked at Olivia again. Her eyes seemed to come alive whenever she spoke of the work she would like to do for survivors of abuse and he hoped she would decide to settle in New York to do it.

"Is she a little homesick?"

His head snapped back towards Rebecca. Where had that question come from?

"Why do you ask?" he asked her softly.

Rebecca shrugged.

"Just something about her. Like she doesn't really feel at home here."

"Yet," Elliot said firmly, maybe more to himself than to Rebecca.

"If you say so, El."

Elliot sighed. He knew there usually was no use in contradicting Rebecca. In fact, she had just said out loud what he had been wondering about. It would explain the sadness he'd felt and it forced him to look at his own role in it. He'd been working a lot over the past week, leaving Olivia alone a lot. But she had never given him the impression that she felt lonely or bored. In fact, she'd been very busy too, getting in touch with people on her own to find out where she could find something useful to do. She wasn't one to expect her man to take the lead and make sure she was taken care of. On the contrary. Her independence was one of the things he loved so much about her. But if she was homesick ... that wasn't something she would be able to turn off like a switch, and it didn't take anything away from her independence. Everyone needs a place to call home, solid ground beneath their feet as a starting point from where they faced the world. It was only natural.

For him, it was easy. Olivia was his starting point, so wherever she was, would be home to him. He looked around their little group and as always, his eyes settled on Olivia. She was laughing now, probably at one of Declan's jokes. He felt warm inside whenever he looked at her and she didn't notice. She was home to him, so if she wanted to go back to her home town, he would go with her.

"You okay?" Rebecca asked him, nudging him gently with her shoulder.

He looked at the woman next to him and when he saw the concerned look in her eyes, he knew she'd been watching him think things over. He took a deep breath and then nodded.

"Yeah. I am now."

Rebecca put a hand on his arm.

"Good."

...

It was past midnight when they got home, and Elliot wouldn't be on call the next day. Olivia could tell he was tired though, and after a quick shower they both hopped into bed to get some sleep. She had enjoyed their evening more than she'd expected beforehand. It had been good to get out of her own head, and she really liked Elliot's friends and their fiancés. Rebecca was nice too, and wise. When they had both gone to the ladies room together, Rebecca had rubbed her back gently and had told her she could see the love between her and Elliot. And then she'd told her, to always be honest with Elliot because honesty was the cornerstone of a lasting relationship. When Olivia had looked at the woman a little surprised, she had just said,

"I can see you're feeling a little lost here in the city. Just tell him that, don't try to do it all alone, okay? It's your journey together, not yours and his separately anymore."

Ordinarily, she would have told anyone other than Kathy who said such a thing to her, to mind their own business. But Rebecca had spoken with a kind of friendly authority that had made her listen. She was a psychologist after all, and besides, she was right.

So when they snuggled up together in bed lying on their sides facing each other, and Elliot kissed her goodnight, she took a breath and decided to speak up.

"Hey El."

"Hmmm?"

"What would you say if I went back home for a little while?"

She heard him swallow in the dark room and bit her lip. She wondered if he was going to ask her all kinds of questions as to why she would want to go home and she felt a little tense. What could she tell him about her doubt and fears, and wouldn't it drive him away from her?

"You're homesick, aren't you?" Elliot asked.

Homesick? Alright, she could work with that. No need to bother Elliot with all the other insecurities she was battling with. If she said she was homesick, she wouldn't hurt his feelings.

"Maybe a little," she told him softly. "But you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do," Elliot said, pulling her close to him. "But it's a big change. I get it. Maybe you can take the classes you want back home, and take it from there. I'll miss you though. I was just getting used to having you around."

"I'll miss you too," Olivia whispered, and the lump in her throat proved to her that this part was completely true.

Part of her was already beginning to regret talking about leaving.

"So why don't we make the most of your weekend off before we talk about this again?" she suggested, caressing Elliot's cheek with her hand.

"I can do that. But I don't want you to go."

His honesty was as sweet as it was painful to hear and Olivia didn't know what to do to take his pain away. Before she could think about it, she'd already blurted out,

"So come with me."

Elliot's lips skimmed her cheek when he whispered,

"I wish I could but Cragen won't let me go any time soon."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck and just held him, not knowing what else to say. She could feel him trembling and she wished she could make it all better. Only she didn't know how, unless Elliot was willing to go against his boss like she had done. But he had a lot more to lose. He had rent to pay and an income he simply couldn't afford to give up. And even if Elliot came with her, she would still need to figure out what she really wanted, and if she truly loved him enough. Was she _that_ damaged, that she couldn't simply enjoy the good things in life anymore? Or was she suddenly aware that Elliot might actually _be_ the one to change her life forever and did that scare her so much that she had the urge to run away from it? That last thought resonated with her and she knew running away wasn't the answer. She just needed some time, she told herself. She needed to get home and be alone. Maybe she really was a little homesick. Or maybe she was just terrified of what was happening to her. Of needing another person too much, again.

When Elliot kissed her cheeks softly, she noticed that there were tears on them. Her tears.

"Don't cry baby," Elliot said softly, and it made her want to cry even more.

When she sniffled, Elliot caressed her back and corrected himself.

"No, it's okay Liv. It's okay to cry. Just let it all out."

She cried softly and he held her, nog knowing what she was crying about. He thought she was homesick but she knew that wasn't why she was crying. His patience and sweetness only made her sob harder because he really didn't deserve this. He deserved so much more and she didn't know if she could ever give it to him. Maybe he'd be better off without her.

When she finally calmed down, she turned around and Elliot moved behind her, spooning her. It felt so right to be held by him, and she felt completely safe for a while. Maybe he'd be better off without her, but she didn't know if she could ever be without him again.

...

They had a fun weekend together despite Olivia's impending departure. She hadn't booked a flight yet, but he knew her decision to go home soon had been made. Elliot did his best to distract her and actually enjoyed telling her about some of the very old and some of the brand-new buildings in New York. He loved to watch her while she took it all in and he just couldn't imagine his life or even the city without her in it anymore. He tried to understand that she'd miss her family and friends back home, although he knew he would have no problem at all leaving everyone and everything behind for her. Maybe it was different for her because she came from a much smaller community. Or maybe it was more difficult for her because she was a woman. He didn't know. But he did know he'd move for her. There was no doubt in his mind about it. And that made him wonder a little about why Olivia apparently couldn't do the same. He tried not to be hurt by it, but if he was being really honest, it did sting a little.

Not that they had discussed it so far. They hadn't talked about the future at all. They hadn't talked about one of them packing up and moving to live with the other one, although he had wanted to. But he hadn't wanted to put any pressure on Olivia. He worried too much about pushing her away from him by moving too fast, but maybe she was reading his silence the wrong way now. Maybe she was wondering if he would be willing to follow her. Maybe she thought he just assumed she would come to live with him eventually. The more he thought about it, the more sense it made. At least it gave him something tangible to work with, something he could grasp and could actually do something about. He knew he couldn't arrange things in a few days, but he could set things in motion. The thought alone that he could do something made him almost giddy, and Olivia laughed out loud when he suddenly picked her up and turned them around a few times, in the middle of a park.

"Jeez Elliot, what was that for?" Olivia gasped once he'd set her back down on her feet, but she was giggling and he knew she liked his spontaneous outbursts.

"I just felt like it," he said with a cocky grin on his face.

He hadn't expected Olivia to move so fast, but before he knew what had hit him, she had pushed him back until his butt landed rather unceremoniously on a park bench. She was in his lap then, straddling him and wrapped her arms around him while kissing him hard. When they broke apart, Elliot asked her,

"What was _that_ for?"

Olivia shrugged and grinned at him.

"I just felt like it."

They both laughed and for a moment, they were completely happy. He was going to miss her so much and as soon as he thought that, the moment was gone.

"Don't baby," Olivia said softly, leaning her forehead against his.

"Don't what?" he asked her.

"You were sad again."

Elliot tilted his head to kiss her softly on the lips.

"I don't want to start missing you all over again."

"I'm sorry."

"I'll talk to my boss."

"Okay."

"Okay."

They both smiled, trying to shake off their sadness once again, and when he kissed her again, she relaxed against him. They were kissing on a bench in a park in the middle of the city, but right now, they felt like they were completely alone. Nothing else mattered, only her. He'd do anything for her, and he was going to prove it.

...

 **Review (again)? Who knows, I may churn out another chapter fast :)**


	52. Don't go

**So I didn't write fast or much but I did write. Let's see what happens and if Olivia really goes back home for a while. If so, we need a proper goodbye, yes?**

...

 **52\. Don't go**

Olivia ended up staying for four more days after the weekend, and would be flying out on Thursday afternoon. Elliot had managed to get out of work early a few times and Olivia realized that the closer they got to the time she'd be leaving, the more addicted she got to Elliot's body. She was unstoppable at times and Elliot laughed at how insatiable she was. Was she trying to convince him that she wasn't going to break up with him? Or was she trying to convince herself? Or was she afraid she'd never have him again after she left?

"You don't have to leave baby," Elliot whispered in her ear on Wednesday night, when she'd started kissing him passionately again.

They were lying close together in bed, where they had been for the last two hours. Olivia shivered at his words and the feeling of his hot breath on her skin. She knew she didn't have to leave and she'd been going back and forth in her head all day long about it. Why did she want to leave when a big part of her really didn't want to? She was confusing herself, and that alone convinced her that Elliot deserved more. She'd drive him crazy with her indecision, and he'd start questioning her love for him. And eventually his love for her. That was how it kept playing out in her head and she didn't seem able to break the cycle. He deserved more. He deserved more than she could give him.

"I want you. Only you," Elliot whispered, and she wondered if he'd read her mind.

Why couldn't she just accept that he wanted her and be happy? She kissed him again to drown out the voices in her head that just couldn't agree with each other. Elliot pulled her on top of him and kissed her back, making her body respond to him all over again. He really was the best lover she'd ever had and he'd ruined her for all other men. Olivia pushed herself up on her arms to look at him, and only saw love and desire in his eyes. No reproach and nothing to indicate he'd love her any less if she went back home. Elliot moved his hands up, caressing her sides until he reached her breasts. When he cupped them and ran his thumbs over her nipples, Olivia sighed and surrendered to her body's desires once more. She closed her eyes and enjoyed feeling his hands on her body.

"You're so beautiful," Elliot hummed, kneading her breasts until she moaned and dropped her body forward.

His lips were on her breast then and his tongue flicked over her nipple until it was so hard that it was almost painful. But Olivia just wanted more. Her core was pressing into Elliot's abdomen and when he flexed his abdominal muscles, she gasped. No one had ever made her feel this way. She wanted to surrender to Elliot and let him take her in every possible way. And that scared her as much as it aroused her. When she finally moved her body down so she could once again be filled up by the man beneath her, she wanted to cry. She never wanted to give this up. She never wanted to give him up ...

...

They both groaned when Olivia sank down over his rock-hard erection and Olivia leaned forward, tilting her hips so she could take him in as deep as possible. Elliot grabbed her hips and stilled her for a few moments. He wanted to enjoy this, and not come too soon, but Olivia could almost make him come just by looking at him. Once he was sure she had understood she should go slow, he moved his hands back up to her breasts. Olivia's hips started moving, grinding into him slowly at first, and Elliot closed his eyes, enjoying feeling their bodies merge and feeling her full breasts in his hands. He moved one hand down her body then, and as soon as Olivia realized what he was doing, she changed the angle of her body so Elliot could find her clit with his fingers. She gasped and Elliot stared up at her, and her full lips that were now parted as she panted while riding him slowly.

They had made love twice already that evening but he could never get enough of her. He tried to understand that she missed her family and friends, but he dreaded being without her for any length of time. He needed to find a way to be with her and never have to be separated again. He bucked up at the thought, as if emphasizing that this was what he wanted. _Who_ he wanted. And no one else, ever again.

Olivia smiled and he bucked up again, rubbing her clit a little faster.

"I need you baby," he croaked.

Her dark eyes seemed like deep oceans in a storm and he could see her love for him there, but also her fear. What was she afraid of?

"I'll always need you," he said, trying to reassure her.

Olivia closed her eyes again but he'd seen the emotion in them just before she did. Elliot moved his hands to her lower back, pulling her closer to him, and Olivia draped her body over his, never breaking their intimate connection. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close as they continued to make love. He whispered sweet words in her ear and kissed her neck and shoulder, and Olivia did the same, panting his name as they gradually picked up speed. He tried to go slow but like always, there was no stopping them once their bodies started pumping almost on their own. He loved the sounds Olivia made when she was getting closer to her climax and when she bit down on his shoulder, he cried out as well, the sting of pain only enhancing the intensity of the moment.

Olivia quickly pulled her right knee up alongside Elliot's body and lifted the right side of her body up as she slammed down on him again. His left hand was on her right breast while his right hand pulled her ass into him, faster and harder.

"Oh God ..." Olivia croaked, resting her forehead on his.

"Ungh!" was all Elliot managed to say.

"El."

"Oh."

"Eeel!"

"Owowow!"

"Yeah ... Yeah."

"Love. You. Babe."

"Ah! Ah! Ah!"

He couldn't get deep enough and wished he could crawl inside her skin. When she cried out one more time, he knew she was coming. She dropped her head, hiding her face in the crook of his neck as her body shook, contracting around his already throbbing manhood. He pulled her into him hard once more and then joined her in her ecstasy. Pleasure coursed through him as he spilled his seed deep inside her, his release making his body spasm as he held Olivia even closer. She was moving with him, still panting and trying to catch her breath and once his body stopped shaking, he rolled them over on their sides carefully. His eyes were closed and he enjoyed the little aftershocks in his body that always followed these intense orgasms, even after he'd slipped out of her.

Olivia was caressing his back and he opened his eyes slowly to look at her. Her eyes were closed too, and when he leaned in to kiss her, he could see tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her forehead and then her cheek.

"Don't go baby. Please don't go," he whispered before he could stop himself.

He didn't want to make things more difficult for her but he was only human. Olivia just lowered her head and snuggled up to him. Just when he thought she wasn't going to say anything, he hear her say softly,

"I love you, Elliot."

"I know," he replied softly. "I love you too."

He tried to make her look at him but she didn't want to and stayed where she was, her face buried in his chest.

"If there's anything I can do to ..." he started, but before he could say anything else, Olivia interrupted him, saying,

"Let's just sleep now, okay? I'm tired."

Elliot suppressed a sigh and pulled the covers over her bare shoulders. She didn't want to talk. It had to be difficult for her to be homesick. She was torn between two worlds, and things couldn't stay like this. And it was up to him to make a change.

...

Elliot had to be at work early the next morning, but Cragen allowed him an extended lunch break so he could see Olivia off at the airport. They hadn't talked much that morning, but Olivia had said that she didn't want a dramatic goodbye. It's not forever, she had assured him. He knew that. He was going to make sure they'd be together very soon again. If he had to make a sacrifice to be with her, he would do it. He'd do anything, as long as she didn't send him packing.

They hugged when it was time for Olivia to find her gate, and she smiled a sad smile.

"I'll see you soon Liv," Elliot told her. "I promise."

Olivia just nodded and hugged him again.

"I'll call you when I get home to let you know I made it back safely."

"Okay."

"Okay. Bye El."

"Bye Liv."

She smiled once more and then turned around, slinging her duffel bag over her shoulder. He watched her walk away and repeated softly,

"I'll see you soon."

...

 **A short chapter again this time, I know, but I hope you liked it. What could Elliot be up to? Please review.**


	53. A Job

**Attempting to move this story along. Let me know what you think!**

...

 **53\. A job**

Elliot sighed and re-read the same page one more time, hoping the words would finally start meaning something to him. He knew it was too soon to expect a text from Olivia, she was still in the air, on a plane to Richmond. He missed her already and couldn't wait to go home and hear her voice again over the phone. He was actually glad that he and Fin got another case, however horrible it was for the victim. Working to get justice for the young girl took his mind off of missing Olivia for a while, and of worrying about her. He hated that she was so insecure, because it made him insecure as well. Not about his love for her, but about their future together.

Once he and Fin were back at the station, Elliot powered up his computer. He had thought long and hard about it, and he was going to do it. He was going to prove to Olivia once and for all that she was the one for him. It was worth everything to him. He started up a search, first finding Dana's Diner and then the contact information of the owner, which then led him to Dana's husband's office. His Captain had already left for the night and Elliot called the number on his screen right away.

"Bunning Real Estate, this is Mark Bunning. How may I help you today?"

Elliot was pleasantly surprised at how politely a young man answered the phone. He must be one of Dana's sons.

"Hello Mark, my name is Elliot Stabler and I'm looking for Noah Bunning. Is he in?"

"He is not Sir, but I can give you his cell phone number? Are you calling about a property you wish to look at?"

"Yes. Yes, I am," Elliot answered, and although he didn't have a specific place in mind yet, his stomach fluttered at the thought of going to Olivia's town to look for a place for himself. For _them_.

After ending the call with Mark, Elliot dialed Noah Bunning's cell. The real estate agent answered on the second ring and Elliot explained to him who he was and why he was calling.

"Oh, Olivia's friend. And you want to look at apartments in _our_ town? So you're really serious about our Liv."

"I am Sir."

Noah Bunning was a very nice, understanding man. And a wise man. He told Elliot that he and his wife Dana had known Olivia from when she was just a child and they cared about her very much. Elliot told the older man that he knew Olivia had been hurt badly but that he wasn't going to hurt her. He really loved her and wanted to know a little about what kind of apartments were available to rent in town and what the costs were, so he could think it over and discuss things with Olivia.

"That's a very important step, young man. Discuss it with her. Who knows, she may surprise you."

When Elliot asked Noah what he meant, the man just chuckled and told him, "You'll see."

They exchanged e-mail addresses and Noah promised he'd send Elliot a few links to one-bedroom places so he could see if that was what he wanted. After ending the call, Elliot actually managed to get his paperwork done for the day. He hurried home to start looking at the apartments Noah had recommended.

...

Olivia felt heavy and tired once she was back home in her own room. She dropped her bag and let herself fall on the bed on her stomach. She sighed. It was good to be back home and it wasn't. She had gone home to sort out her feelings, but as soon as she'd left New York, she had started missing Elliot again. Just being near him, even if she didn't see him all day because of his job, was so different from being this far away from him. She turned on her back and pried her cell phone out of her back pocket to send Elliot a text to let him know she got home safely. After that, she was going to shower, eat and sleep. And the next morning, she needed to call Dana and ask her if she still had a job. She didn't know what she would do if Dana said no. She'd never been out of a job yet.

Olivia sat up and shook her head. Even if everything in her home town stayed the same, her life had already changed irreversibly. She'd given up her job for Elliot. She hadn't even done that for Dean. She knew she would have if he'd asked her, but it had never come to that. And more importantly, Elliot hadn't asked her. She'd done it herself, because she wanted to be with him, not because he had summoned her to come over. She smiled when she remembered the pure surprise on his face when she'd shown up on his doorstep, and then choked up because she knew he was sad that she'd left again. She didn't want Elliot to be sad.

She took another deep breath, sent her text and then peeled off her clothes to take a long shower. If she could just sleep, tomorrow would be a new day and she could start fresh.

...

Dana was not amused. Olivia knew she'd been a little miffed when she had suddenly decided to leave and she felt like a child confessing to stealing a cookie from her mother's cookie jar. She'd gone over to the Bunning residence to talk to Dana in person, and while Dana was happy to see her surrogate daughter again, she needed to be stern with her regarding her job.

"I already hired a replacement, hun. Couldn't let Sandy and Tina work overtime until you decided to come back. We didn't even know you would be back so ... I asked Julia to lend a hand and she's doing a great job."

"You mean Julia Millfield?" Olivia asked incredulously. "Nina's mom? Since when does she have time to work?"

"Now now, there's no need for that, Olivia. The thing is, I can't just send her away because you decided to come back. I promised her she'd be with us at least two months."

"Why two months?" Olivia asked and Dana shrugged.

"I had to tell her something. Figured that we'd know if you were gonna stay away or not in two months' time."

Olivia couldn't really argue with Dana's logic but she was a little rattled. She'd gone back home to think things over, but she didn't need _that_ much time to think. She'd drive herself totally crazy. She decided to head over to the hospital. After her accident she'd only been there when it was absolutely necessary, because the place reminded her so much of Dean. But right now, she needed to talk to Kathy. Maybe she was ready to do some volunteer work at the hospital again while she took a few of the online courses she'd selected while she was in New York.

Kathy was very happy to see her again, recognizing that it was a small victory for Olivia to be back at the hospital voluntarily. After catching up with her best friend, Olivia headed over to the psych ward, and asked the attending nurse if they had room for a volunteer to keep the patients company during the day, and maybe take them out for a walk or to do something fun. She was asked to fill out a bunch of forms but when the head nurse spotted Olivia, she immediately told the other nurse that Olivia had already been cleared to work at their ward. She could start there on Monday as a volunteer and they agreed on three mornings a week, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

After that, Olivia went over to the Saloon. They weren't open yet but she knew that the owner was usually around during the day, taking inventory or stocking the place. She asked if he could use an extra bartender because she was looking for a job.

"Sorry love, can't help you although we'd love to have you," Bayard Ellis told her. "I do know the Dodds need someone at the Swamp, so maybe you could check there?"

Her visit to the Swamp was successful, and after she named all the ingredients of eleven different cocktails by heart, the owner William Dodds hired her as a bartender for the weekends. She could start that night, on Friday and would work from ten to four. Content that she'd been able to find some things to do, Olivia got some groceries and went home. She was going to try and rest up a bit after dinner, before she had to be at the Swamp. It wasn't her kind of music or crowd at all, but it was better than nothing. She was going to miss her friends and the music at the Saloon though, but she hoped it would only be temporary.

Lying in bed to take a nap, she didn't want to think about the reasons why all of this would be temporary. It could be because she'd get her job at Dana's back after Julia's two months were up. Or things could change even more. As she dozed off, her mind drifted back to New York and to the faces of the mothers and children she'd met at the shelters she'd visited. And to Elliot. Her sweet Elliot that she just didn't want to hurt anymore. She needed to make up her mind.

...

Elliot had been engrossed in his search for a suitable and affordable apartment in Olivia's town. He'd followed all the links Noah had sent him, and had looked around on the Bunning Real estate website some more. There were very nice two-bedroom places too, and they were way less expensive than in New York. But still, he wouldn't be able to keep his place in New York and also rent one of the larger ones in Olivia's town. When he got up from behind his laptop to get a beer, he was surprised to find it was already 11 pm. He hadn't heard from Olivia again after their early 'good morning' texts, and decided to call her. He was surprised when she didn't answer him, and he decided to wait a few minutes and try again.

Still no answer.

He sent her a text, asking her to call him. It wasn't like her not to respond, so after another fifteen minutes, he texted Kathy.

 _'Hi, do you know where Liv is? She's not answering her phone. Elliot.'_

Kathy did reply rather quickly.

 _'Hey, I think she can't hear her phone over the music. No worries, she'll call you in the morning. K.'_

Elliot frowned and typed another message.

 _'What music? At the Saloon?'_

 _'No, she's at the Swamp. She got a job as a bartender there. She didn't tell you?'_

Elliot bit the inside of his cheek and stared at the screen of his phone. He remembered the Swamp. It was a dark place with dark music. He didn't like it one bit that Olivia was working there. She'd told him she was going to Dana's to ask for her job back. She hadn't told him about this. Elliot decided he didn't want Kathy to get caught in the middle and typed a quick reply.

 _'Oh right. Forgot she was starting tonight. Thanks K, have a good one.'_

He tossed his phone on the couch next to him and uncapped his beer. He took a long draw and leaned back, closing his eyes. Olivia was working at the Swamp now. So Dana hadn't given her back her job. He pictured Olivia moving around behind the huge bar in the middle of the place, while all the guests were ogling her. He didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

...

 **To be continued.**


	54. No Contact

**The outcome of this story is going to unfold very soon, and very differently than you may have expected. Even differently than you may expect after this chapter. Read on ...**

...

 **54\. No contact**

Elliot tried not to let on that he didn't like it that Olivia was now working at the Swamp. She called him around noon the next day to tell him about it, and he was just glad she'd had a good night. And when she told him she was going to be a volunteer at the hospital again, he was really proud of her. She was conquering one of the demons from her past and he hoped that more demons would bite the dust soon. They talked a little about ordinary things like how the weather was improving and hopefully spring would be early this year, and Elliot couldn't help feeling that the conversation was a little strained. They wrapped up with their usual 'love you' and 'miss you' but he didn't feel as close to Olivia as he'd like. He thought he'd hidden his dislike of her new job well but they could read each other long distance by now so she must have picked up on it. He made a mental note to call her again that evening before she'd be off to the Swamp again, but when Cragen called him in an hour later on a gang rape, he knew it wasn't going to happen.

The case kept the entire squad busy all weekend long, as they tried to sort out who had actually participated actively in the rape and who had 'just' watched or held the victim down. The girl was so broken that they doubted she would be able to testify, so they worked hard to get all the men to either confess or turn on each other. By Sunday night, Elliot was exhausted mentally but he needed a physical outlet to get the horrifying case out of his system. He decided to go to the gym to work out and take the punching bag on for a few rounds. On his way home he ordered a pizza, which was delivered soon after he got home. He ate slowly, trying to pace himself and calm his body down, and then took a hot shower. When he plopped back down on the couch, his first beer of the weekend in hand, he finally grabbed his phone. He'd received three texts from Olivia, one on Saturday and two on Sunday and he'd replied to only one of them, the first one. He had a missed call from her but there were no new messages. He re-opened her last message, sent on Sunday around 3.30 PM.

 _'Hey stranger, you ok?'_

He opened the message she'd sent earlier on Sunday, at 11.30 AM. Four hours earlier. He could imagine that she would have expected a sign of life during that time.

 _'Made it home safe and sound again last night. Call me?'_

Elliot sighed. He hadn't had time to call her but he could have shot her a text, letting her know about the case. They really did live in different worlds and he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to take it. He checked the time and sighed again. It was almost midnight so she was at the Swamp again. He tried to call her anyway but wasn't surprised that she didn't pick up. Even if she did notice she was being called, it was impossible to have a conversation, let alone a phone conversation, in that hell hole. He left her a voice message, just telling her he was sorry he missed her messages and that he'd try again on Monday. He then sent her a text as well.

 _'Tough case all weekend, sorry I couldn't call. Text me tomorrow when you're awake? Be safe. xxx El.'_

After sending the text, Elliot finished his beer and decided to turn in. He was exhausted and Cragen had told him and Fin they could come in late the next day. He just hoped he'd be able to sleep. The eyes of their gang rape victim still haunted him and in his restless dreams, his case somehow got mixed up with a lot of grinding and innuendo at the Swamp, where Olivia was the center of attention. If anyone ever laid a hand on her ... He woke up with a jolt in the middle of the night and automatically checked his phone. No new messages. As soon as he closed his eyes again, he saw her again. While his memories of the Swamp were a bit foggy, because the only time he'd been there was to get drunk, he did remember how the bartenders, male and female, danced to the deafening music while mixing and pouring drinks, and were challenging customers to drink more by flirting with them. The only reassurance he had was that personnel never ventured out onto the dance floor, so the grinding and touching he'd dreamed about wouldn't happen. Not on the dance floor, at least. He sighed and turned on his other side. He just needed to hear her voice. To know she was okay and that her co-workers were treating her with respect. If this was what his weekends were going to be like, he should make arrangements very soon to go back to Olivia's town to go apartment hunting.

...

Olivia's ears had been ringing all day after her second night at the Swamp. The money was good, and that was the only reason she was working there right now. She wanted to tell Elliot that, but he wasn't answering his phone or her texts. She felt a need to reassure him, while on the other hand, she felt a little rebellious. She was a big girl and she could take care of herself. It was making her so tired to be torn between her need for independence and her need to be with Elliot. Boy, was she needy.

She hadn't heard from Elliot all day and realized that she didn't even know if he was on call this weekend. She felt bad about that. She should know these things. She wasn't really looking forward to her third night at the Swamp, because she'd need to get up early the next morning to go to the hospital. She was a little nervous about that, and actually felt nauseous. Elliot not responding to her texts only made her feel worse. She was relieved when Kathy dropped by unannounced. Her friend was always such a great distraction, and the voice of reason whenever she was starting to freak out. Sharon and Simon were both out and they hung out in the living room together. Olivia was a little jealous when Kathy told her Kyle was already making plans to come to town again. She tried to be happy for her friend, but Kathy knew her too well.

"Liv, if you miss him that much, why'd you come back here at all?"

Olivia sighed. It wasn't easy to explain, especially since she didn't fully understand it herself.

"I sometimes just feel that he deserves better," she said after a few moments.

"Better than what?"

"Than me!" Olivia said, sitting up and gesturing at herself with both hands. "You know what a mess I can be at times Kath. He doesn't need my crap."

Kathy hung her head for a moment, and Olivia already knew what was coming. Why was it so difficult for her to grasp what Kathy kept telling her?

"Elliot doesn't _want_ anything better Liv. He _wants_ your crap. That's what love is, baby. You take the bad with the good. For better or worse isn't just a phrase, people actually _do_ that you know?"

"I don't know Kath ..." she said softly.

"Honey, Dean fucked you over good, but he's just _one_ guy. That doesn't make them all bad, and you know that. You _know_ decent guys, like Nick for instance. Or Rafi at Barba's. Simon even, although for some, the jury is still out on your brother."

Olivia chuckled and tossed a throw pillow at her friend.

"And you _know_ Elliot is one of the good guys, Liv. Deep down, you know it. And I think that is actually what is freaking you out the most."

"What?!"

Kathy nodded, looking past her into the distance, and Olivia knew some kind of universal wisdom was going to come her way next.

"You're just scared to commit yourself to him because you _know_ he's a good guy and you'll be stuck with him forever."

The word forever struck a cord with Olivia and she bit her lip. It wasn't because it scared her but because deep down, it was what she yearned for. It was what she'd dreamed of when she got pregnant with Dean's baby. She'd had this elaborate fantasy about how her life would unfold, and it had been this beautiful, romantic love story. Moving in together, a baby boy, marriage and then a baby girl. A house filled with love and laughter, Dean helping the kids with their school projects and Olivia taking them out shopping for clothes because they were growing up so fast ... That dream has been smashed to pieces in just a few hours and she didn't dare believe it might still happen for her. She had started enjoying life again eventually, but only on a day to day basis. No looking forward too far, no commitment and definitely no pregnancy again. She had learned the hard way that getting pregnant, either intentionally or by accident, was not the way to get her man. He'd have to stay with her because he wanted to, not because he felt he had to.

"I want forever Kath," she finally told her friend. "But I want both of us to be sure."

"There is no such thing as being sure."

Olivia frowned and looked at her friend, hoping that wasn't the end of her statement.

"Honey, you never know what life is going to throw at you. You have to live _now,_ " Kathy stressed. "It's not about planning your life out from start to finish. Where's the fun in that anyway? No, it's about making a decision and standing by it. Period."

...

Kathy's words still echoed in Olivia's mind that evening when she headed out to go to work again. She still hadn't heard from Elliot. It wasn't like him to not respond to her messages and it made her restless. She was going to be busy all night and then had to be up early to start her volunteer work at the hospital so there would be no opportunity to talk to Elliot. She just wished he'd at least let her know he was alright. She wondered if it would be too pushy to send another text but decided not to do it. Her last one, asking him if he was okay, was clear enough. She was glad to know that Kathy would be at the hospital too the next morning so they could have their coffee break together. She was really leaning on her friend right now and cherished her brutal honesty. It hurt sometimes but it was what she needed.

She sighed when she walked into the Swamp, struck once again by how dark it was, even with the lights on. The huge rectangular bar and the stools were black, the floor was black, the stage in the back of the room was black and even the walls were mostly black and grey, with bright red figures painted on them. Once the lights would be dimmed and the disco lights were on, it was difficult to find anyone in the crowd. Most of the guests wore black too.

Olivia took off her sweater quickly in the back room where employees could leave their belongings. All the bartenders wore a white V-neck t-shirt with the black Swamp logo on it, and blue jeans, making them the most visible people in the room for obvious reasons. She walked over to the two other bartenders who were already busy getting things ready.

"Help me with these glasses Liv?" Mike Dodds asked her, nodding at a few crates filled with beer glasses that needed to be put underneath the bar.

Mike was the son of the owner, and he usually tended bar on Saturdays, the busiest night of the week. Olivia was surprised to see him again on Sunday.

"Working overtime Mike?" she asked him while they moved all the glasses from the crates to the shelves underneath the bar, stacking them up upside down in neat stacks of four.

"Actually, my dad asked me to keep an eye on the new girl."

He grinned when she looked at him, her eyes a little wide.

"That would be you," Mike added rather redundantly. "And I have to say, it's my pleasure to keep an eye on you. All night long."

Olivia rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Don't get any ideas, Dodds," she huffed, pushing him aside on purpose to place another stack of glasses on the shelf.

She knew who Mike was. He was two years behind her in high school and from what she'd heard he was a loose cannon, always trying to prove he wasn't a daddy's boy. Still, he was working at his father's club now, in charge of supplies, and tending bar from time to time. She'd seen him at the Saloon a few times, showing off his dance moves and hitting on the darker-skinned girls. She didn't think she was his type, but when they both stood up straight and she flexed her shoulders, she saw him checking out her curves quite openly. She shot him her token Benson glare and brushed past him to help another co-worker who was checking which liquor bottles would need replacing before they opened.

"Mike coming on to you?" the girl asked her softly.

Olivia shrugged.

"Don't worry about him Olivia. He's pretty harmless."

"Even if he wasn't, I can take him," Olivia told the girl, who grinned at her.

"I don't doubt it for a minute. Just don't let him get too frisky okay?"

"Trust me, I won't."

...

 **So, what do you think? Dun dun? Or not? Your thoughts are always appreciated. More soon.**


	55. Don't Take Your Time

**55\. Don't Take Your Time**

They had a busy night again, and all four bartenders worked hard. Olivia could appreciate the fact that the son of the owner wasn't a slacker. She noticed that he really was keeping an eye on her, and not a totally professional one, but all in all, they had fun. All four bartenders danced around the huge bar and did hip bumps regularly when they passed each other. Olivia didn't mind when Mike wrapped his arm around her waist a few times to turn them around, as long as he let go of her right away, which he did each time.

Once the club was officially closed, they all cleaned the bar up together and then split the contents of the tip jars into four equal shares.

"What are you gonna do with your share Liv?" Mike asked her, and she could tell he was trying to get a better read on her.

"Dunno yet," she said, pulling her sweater over her head and stuffing the cash into her back pocket.

She was tired and would have to get up early in the morning - which was only a couple of hours away - and she didn't feel like fielding questions from a guy hitting on her.

"I'd take my girl out to dinner if I had a girl," Mike said, and their co-workers Holly and Tobias both rolled their eyes simultaneously.

Olivia just laughed and shook her head.

"That's hard to believe, Mr Casanova. You had all those girls wrapped around your finger with they way you served them those shots."

"Maybe, but I haven't found my dream girl yet," Mike said, cocking his head and giving her his most charming smile.

"Keep looking, Dodds," Holly muttered. "Liv's taken."

Mike moved a little closer to Olivia.

"Really?" he asked her, and the sudden softness of his voice surprised her.

"Yeah, really," she answered confidently, taking a small step away from the younger man. She'd told Holly a little about her city cowboy before the crowd came in and while she hadn't planned on telling Mike about Elliot, it might be the best way to get him to back off.

"Nobody told me. Do I know the lucky guy?" Mike asked her.

"No."

"You sure? I know a lot of people around here."

"He's not from around here."

Olivia wanted out of the conversation but she knew Mike would be even more intrigued now. So she told him,

"He's from New York. I was just up there and he'll be back here soon."

She'd added the last part for Mike's benefit, not knowing what Elliot's plans were, or if he even had any. Their contact had been flimsy since she'd been back home. She decided to check her phone and her heart skipped a beat when she saw she had a new text message from Elliot. Finally.

 _Tough case all weekend, sorry I couldn't call. Text me tomorrow when you're awake? Be safe. xxx El.'_

Mike must have realized she had a text from her boyfriend and he tried to look at the screen of her phone. She turned away from him and shot him a glare.

"Boyfriend sent you a goodnight kiss? That can never compete with a real kiss, Olivia," Mike teased her.

She was fully aware that long-distance relationships sucked and didn't need Mike to remind her.

"Give the girl a break," Holly intervened, and Olivia was grateful.

She'd only known Holly for two days but she liked her already. She thought she'd seen a few sparks flying between Holly and Tobias but she wasn't going to say anything, especially in front of the boss's son.

"I should get going. Have to be up in a few hours," Olivia announced, and Holly immediately offered to walk with her.

"See you all on Friday," she said as they left the club.

Their town was a pretty safe place, but it was still wise not to walk the streets alone at 4.30 in the morning. Once Olivia got home she forced herself to take a shower before crashing on her bed. She'd wanted to reply to Elliot's text but she'd do that in the morning.

...

 _'Off to the hospital now. Overslept. Sorry we keep missing each other. Call me tonight? xxx O.'_

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief. He'd managed to sleep in and hadn't heard his phone beep when Olivia had texted him a few minutes before nine. It was 10.30 AM now and he had to get up. Olivia was alright. She'd had a long night but nothing had happened to her, or her text wouldn't have been so normal. He hoped he'd be able to call her tonight. He went out to run some errands and went back to work after lunch, picking Fin up on the way to the station.

His contact with Olivia continued to be less than he'd hoped. They managed to talk on the phone a few times but it was like they weren't connecting anymore. He wanted to tell her he was planning to go apartment hunting soon but he was hesitant. He didn't want to put any pressure on her while she was figuring out what she wanted. She was still excited about the courses she wanted to take and was already doing two on line. Elliot had always thought Olivia was very intelligent and the way she was absorbing all the new information and was able to talk about it in her own words, only confirmed to him that she was very smart. So far, she was just learning a lot of theory and when he brought up the practical side of working with survivors of domestic violence, it was Olivia's turn to be hesitant. Where would she acquire practical experience? He wanted to say she was free to come stay with him anytime, but somehow it felt like a forbidden subject. Just like his plans to move as well. He wanted to tell her but it just never felt like the right time.

Another week went by and Olivia was going back to the Swamp on Friday night. He still didn't like it and he texted her, asking her to please text him back once she was home so he'd know she'd made it back safe and sound. Her reply came quickly this time.

 _'You worry too much, detective.'_

 _'It's my job.'_

 _'No it's not. I'll be fine. Will call you tomorrow.'_

...

But she didn't. And she wasn't answering her phone either. It was almost 2 PM on Saturday and she should be up and about by now. She hadn't sent him a text after work. Elliot was on duty this weekend and had already been out searching for witnesses in their latest rape case, but he was restless. He was going to talk to Cragen as soon as he got back to the station. He wanted a few days off, preferably during the week, so he could look at a few places with Noah Bunning, and he wanted to let his boss know he was considering leaving the unit to be with Olivia. He wanted to tell Olivia about his plans but she wasn't answering her phone. He'd sent her two texts during the morning, but it was like she had just vanished.

He tried not to worry too much about her, but he couldn't help it. He had a feeling something was off and he wondered if it would be too much if he contacted Kathy again. He didn't want to come across as overbearing or possessive so he tried to focus on his talk with Cragen first. He needed to give Olivia space and not add to her reasons for leaving New York in the first place.

Cragen wasn't amused to say the least, because he really didn't want to lose Elliot as a detective. But he had seen the change in the younger man over the past months, and he could tell that it wasn't just a phase. He was genuinely in love with Olivia and willing to make sacrifices for her. He knew a job or even a city could never compete with true love, so he reluctantly agreed to look into it. If they weren't swamped in cases like the one they'd had last weekend, he might be able to spare him for a few days after the next weekend.

After the next weekend. It was Saturday now so in about nine days, maybe ten, he'd see her again. Elliot couldn't wait. Both Fin and Munch noticed that their co-worker was distracted and they both had their own theories about what was going on.

"I am willing to place a bet that the lovely Olivia will once again grace this grim place with her presence within just a few days," Munch stated.

"Nah," Fin said, scrunching up his nose. "He's gonna go to her. Maybe stay a while. Right El?"

Elliot grinned, shaking off the uneasiness he felt because he still hadn't heard from Olivia. Fin was right and once Fin realized it, he grinned as well, at Munch.

"Pay up, old man."

"Oh no my friend. I said I was willing to place a bet. I haven't done so yet so you are out of luck."

While his co-workers continued bickering about the rules of the game, Elliot's mind wandered to Olivia again. Why hadn't she shot him a text? It only took a few seconds to tell him she was home. His concern was slowly giving way to annoyance. She should be awake by now. He could try to call her again but he felt it was up to her now. If she had a reason why she wouldn't talk to him, maybe he should respect that. He wanted to, but he simply didn't understand. She'd been all over him while she was staying with him and he thought they were happy together. Maybe he should have told her sooner that he was considering moving to her town, but he hadn't wanted to push her if she wasn't ready to commit to their relationship. It wasn't easy to deal with her mood swings. One day she was determined to just jump in blind and the next, she wanted to go home and didn't know what she wanted. He understood that she was afraid to get hurt again, but she couldn't let her past determine her future like that.

Elliot shook his head. He sounded like a saying people put on a tile. It was true though. If she kept looking back, how would she ever get ahead? How would _they_ get ahead? He could only do so much to prove to her that he wanted to be with her for the rest of their lives. He'd ask her to marry him if he wasn't certain it would make her run for the hills. Finding a place to live in her town was what he'd chosen to do and he could only hope it would be enough to convince her that he was here to stay.

He managed to get through some paperwork. They had several witness statements to file and once they got into a groove, they actually made some headway. Around 4 PM Fin suggested a coffee break and Elliot automatically checked his phone. Nothing.

"You okay man?" Fin asked him as they sat down opposite each other in the break room.

Elliot hesitated but then decided to confide in his partner.

"Yeah I ... I haven't heard from Olivia all day, that's all."

Fin nodded.

"This long-distance thing sucks."

"It does. That's why I'm considering moving out there," Elliot blurted out.

Fin was stunned for a moment.

"Seriously man? You gonna leave me?"

Elliot chuckled and put a hand over his heart.

"I'm so sorry Fin, but my heart just isn't in it anymore," he said dramatically and Fin scrunched up his face in annoyance.

"Yeah yeah, I always knew we weren't meant to last man. But moving away from the city? You sure?"

"If that's what it takes, yeah, I'm sure," Elliot said without thinking.

He didn't feel like he really had a choice. All he could do was follow his heart.

"And what does _she_ say about it," Fin asked him, gesturing at Elliot's phone, that was lying face down on the table.

"She doesn't know yet," Elliot admitted.

"Seriously?"

Elliot raised his eyebrows and looked at his partner, who was shaking his head.

"Now I thought you were the experienced one with women," Fin huffed. "Com-mu-ni-ca-tion is _everything_ man! Even I know that!"

Elliot sighed.

"Yeah. Well. It's complicated. I may be experienced with women but not with real relationships, Fin. This is new territory, even for me. She's the real deal."

"That's pretty obvious El. And if you gotta move, you gotta move. Just discuss it with her first, okay?"

"I will. If she'd just answer the damned phone," Elliot said a little harsher than he'd intended.

He jumped when his phone actually beeped just then. He grabbed the phone and checked it, expecting a text from Olivia at last. He frowned when he saw it was from Kathy and opened it quickly. The ominous feeling that something was off, made his stomach clench.

'Can you get away? Call me asap. Kathy.'

His heart stopped for a moment. Now he was certain something was wrong and he jumped up, feeling a panic squeeze his throat shut.

"Bad news?" Fin asked, also standing up.

"I ..." Elliot started, but he couldn't speak.

He needed to talk to Kathy immediately. His hands were shaking when he hit the call button next to her name on the screen. The phone hadn't even rung once when Kathy picked up.

"Elliot, thank God," he heard the blonde sigh at the other end of the line.

"Is she okay?" Elliot almost yelled into the phone.

"Can you get away from there?" Kathy asked, repeating the question she'd texted him.

"Tell me what's going on!" Elliot said, now yelling full on. "Is she hurt? Did somebody hurt her? Was she in an accident? Just tell me! Tell me _something_!"

Fin tried to put a hand on his back but he shrugged it off, pacing the break room waiting for Kathy to give him a clue.

"No, it's nothing like that Elliot but ... she needs you. Don't take your time. Get here as fast as you can."

 _She needs you._

Elliot leaned against the wall with one hand, hanging his head and still pressing his phone to his ear.

 _She needs you._

"I can be there before morning but give me a clue Kathy. Please!"

"I can't tell you, Elliot. I'm sorry. It's not up to me."

He wanted to smash his phone in frustration but he managed to grunt _'I'm on my way'_ before dropping it to the floor and punching the wall in stead. Fin kept a respectable distance from him and gave him a minute. He then told his partner,

"Go, Elliot. I'll talk to Cragen."

...

 **Dun dun ...**

 **Reviews are appreciated. Any ideas what's going on?**


	56. Finding Olivia

**If you are wondering while reading this chapter if you've missed something, you have. This is intentional. We have not yet seen how Olivia has spent her Friday night and Saturday. You will understand soon, I promise. The last scene of this chapter is actually the reason I started writing this story. It has been heading for this scene (and the next one) all this time. Enjoy!**

 **...**

 **56\. Finding Olivia**

Elliot had rushed home, his heart beating fast because he had no idea what was going on with Olivia. Why hadn't she called him herself? _She needs you._ Were those her words or Kathy's? Once he was in his apartment, he called Olivia's number again. No answer. He shook his head and then set about packing his bag. He stuffed all the printouts of the apartments he wanted to look at in the bag as well.

It didn't matter whether Olivia had said she needed him or not. If her best friend said she needed him, then she did. Countless scenarios went through his mind, one even more worrisome than the other. But Kathy had said she hadn't been hurt. Not physically, anyway. So what could it be? Could she be reconsidering their entire relationship? Did she want to break up with him and was that why Kathy wanted him to come? To convince her in person not to do it? Had she met someone else maybe? He cursed that job at the Swamp once more. She'd told him in October, when he found out she was in a relationship with Nick, that she wanted a man to be with her all the time. How had she put it again? _'I need someone who his here with me, not someone who just comes to town when he feels like it and then packs up and leaves for God knows how long.'_ He thought they were way past that, but what if being back home had made her realize he just didn't fit in her life?

It was early April now, and Elliot realized that they hadn't actually been dating that long. Only since late December. Still, he was completely sure of her. He had been from the beginning and it hurt him that Olivia couldn't be so sure as well. But it _had_ only been a few months so could he really blame her?

After he had finished packing, Elliot checked the time. It was 6 PM. He should take a shower and eat something before starting his six hour drive. He didn't feel like eating at all but forced himself after his shower to eat some leftover Chinese food. He stuffed a few candy bars in his bag and tossed a few bottles of Coca Cola in his jeep. After locking up his apartment, he called Kathy again, but now she wasn't answering her phone either. He could only hope that was because she was with Olivia, taking care of her best friend. He decided to send Olivia one last text before starting the car.

 _'I'm on my way. I love you.'_

...

About halfway his journey, Elliot left the 95 in Baltimore to take a break at Briscoe's, his usual diner. He knew he couldn't drive for six hours straight, and the trip wasn't exactly as relaxed as it used to be when he left the city to unwind. He'd developed a headache and every muscle in his body was tense. The owner greeted him cordially, recognizing him from his past visits.

"You're on the road late," the older man remarked as he walked up to Elliot's table to hand him a menu.

Elliot just nodded and forced a small smile.

"Oh no," the man sighed. "Woman trouble?"

"You guessed it Lennie," Elliot admitted.

"Well, you'd better eat something then before you head on into the fire, my friend."

Elliot nodded again and looked at the menu, although he already knew what was on it. He ordered some eggs and sausages with a salad, and a large coffee, extra strong.

"Coming right up," Lennie said as he walked back to the open kitchen.

Elliot tried to pace himself and not eat too fast. He knew he needed to relax in order to be able to drive for another three hours in the dark. He used the restroom at the diner and tried calling both Olivia and Kathy again before continuing his journey. Olivia didn't answer but this time, Kathy did.

"Hey. Are you headed this way?" Kathy asked and Elliot told her he was already in Baltimore.

"Can you please tell me what's going on Kathy?" he asked her again.

Kathy's hesitation was tangible even over the phone.

"It's really important that you two talk face to face, Elliot. That's all I can say. I'm glad you're on your way."

Elliot scrubbed a hand down his face, reigning in his frustration.

"Why won't she pick up her phone?" he asked Olivia's best friend. She could give him that much, couldn't she?

Kathy sighed and finally settled on telling him,

"She's upset. That's why I told you she needs you."

"Did she ask for me?"

Kathy remained silent.

"Just tell me!" he snapped, trying to keep his voice down, but Lennie looked in his direction anyway. "Kathy, I would have come either way. Just tell me if she asked for me."

Another sigh.

"No."

Elliot closed his eyes and willed himself to keep breathing slowly.

"Okay," he said. "I'm hitting the road again. Just make sure she's home when I get there."

"She's at my place Elliot. I'll text you the address."

"Thank you."

"Drive safely."

...

It was 2 AM when his jeep finally rolled into town. The combination of caffeine and adrenaline had kept Elliot wide awake and he was now driving through town to Kathy's home carefully. At least Olivia hadn't gone to work at the Swamp tonight. He took a deep breath when he found the address and parked his jeep in front of the house. This was it. He both longed and dreaded to see Olivia. His biggest fear was that she was going to break things off between them. He didn't know what he'd do. He got out of the car and started walking up to Kathy's front door, when it swung open, revealing Kathy with panic written all over her face.

"What?" Elliot asked her without bothering to greet her.

"She's gone," Kathy gasped.

"What?!" Elliot asked again, a little louder.

"Elliot, I'm so sorry. She got wind that you were on your way and ... I must have dozed off for a minute and now she's gone. Her car too. I don't know where she went."

A few curse words echoed through Kathy's street and Elliot felt like punching a wall again. But his hand had barely recovered from his earlier run-in with the wall of the break room.

"Please come inside. Maybe we can call around," Kathy suggested.

"At two in the morning?" Elliot asked, but he followed the blonde into her home anyway.

What else could they do? Put out a BOLO on Olivia's car? This wasn't New York and she wasn't a suspect. She wasn't even missing officially, she left on her own accord. Kathy grabbed her phone and started scrolling through their contacts. They sat down on Kathy's couch and Elliot watched Kathy as she decided who to call. She called Simon first. He wasn't working and she apologized for waking him up, but at least now they knew Olivia hadn't simply gone home. Simon checked the house and told them his sister wasn't there. He offered to call his girlfriend Tracy, because Olivia might think he was staying with her. Meanwhile, Kathy decided to call Nick.

"Nick?" Elliot said, immediately suspicious.

"They're still friends Elliot," Kathy said and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Or maybe he was. He didn't like it. He waited impatiently while Kathy made the call.

"Hey Cynthia, I'm so sorry to wake you."

Cynthia? He thought she was calling Nick.

"No, it's okay. I'm looking for Olivia. She was staying with me but she took off so we're calling all our friends to see if she went there ... Okay. Thanks anyway. Say hi to Nick for me."

Kathy looked at Elliot and shook her head. When she registered the question in his eyes, she clarified,

"Nick has a new girlfriend. She answered his phone."

"I see."

He felt a little better about Nick already. But they still hadn't found Olivia.

"I'll try Mike next."

"Who's Mike?"

How many male friends did she even have?

"A guy she works with at the Swamp. Don't know if he'll pick up because he should still be working."

A guy she worked with at the Swamp. He'd never heard her mention the name Mike and he wondered if she'd known the guy before she started working there. She'd only started last weekend but if she'd known him before ...

"No answer, like I expected," Kathy said, breaking off his train of thought.

What was he thinking anyway? She'd texted him just the night before. She wouldn't hook up with another man behind his back. Still, he couldn't help asking Kathy,

"Did she cheat on me? Is that what this is all about?"

Kathy's mouth fell open and she was clearly at a loss for words. She couldn't believe what he'd just asked her.

"Are we even talking about the same woman, Elliot?" she shot at him angrily. "Do you honestly think she'd be capable of that?!"

Elliot hung his head and covered his face with his hands.

"No," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I just ..."

He felt tears springing in his eyes and Kathy moved closer to him on her couch. She put a comforting arm around him.

"It's okay. I know you're just worried about her. I am too."

"Just tell me what's going on Kathy," he pleaded once more and Kathy dropped her arm away from him.

"Let's just find her first," she said. "We could head over to the Swamp to see if she decided to go to work after all?"

Elliot nodded and wiped his eyes. At least it would give him something to do. They both hopped in Elliot's jeep and a few minutes later, the pulled up in front of the Swamp. It was packed and he wondered how they could ever be sure Olivia wasn't there. Kathy walked in front of him when they entered the crowded club and made their way to the bar. She spoke with one of the bartenders, a young, well-built man with dark hair, and Elliot wondered if this was Mike. When Kathy came back, she shook her head no.

She shouted over the loud music,

"They haven't seen her. She called in sick this afternoon and they haven't heard from her since."

They walked back to the jeep and got in, not knowing where to go next. The Saloon maybe? Elliot started the car again and drove to the Saloon slowly. Kathy checked her phone and told him,

"She's not at Tracy's either."

On the way to the Saloon, he passed his old motel and he glanced up at his old room automatically. She had spent the night there with him that first time they'd been together. If only he could go back to that night, he would have done things completely differently. The town wasn't what it used to be to him. Everything had changed when he met Olivia and he couldn't imagine his life without her in it anymore. He had to tell her. As soon as he found her, he would have to tell her and let the chips fall where they may.

She wasn't at the Saloon either, and while they weren't surprised, it left them with very little to go on now. Elliot suggested maybe checking his old motel room.

"Why would she go there?" Kathy asked him as they got into the jeep once more.

Elliot shrugged.

"Sentimental reasons? We did spend our first night together in that room."

"That's not what she told me about your first time," Kathy said with a small smile.

Elliot closed his eyes and remembered how she'd looked in the glow of the fire. It had been such a perfect day with such a perfect ending. They had watched the sun set and had made love under the stars. They both hadn't wanted the day to end so she'd gone up to his room with him. He swallowed hard. The memories were etched in his brain forever.

And then, just like that, he knew. Something deep inside him clicked and he just knew, without a doubt.

"I know where she is."

"What? Where?" Kathy asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Our first date," Elliot said, starting the engine of his jeep. "I'll take you home and I'm driving up there alone."

Kathy seemed to accept that he was suddenly sure where his girlfriend had gone, and she let him drop her off at her home.

"Call me when you find her," Kathy said.

Elliot promised he would, and then he was off.

...

It was different to take the trip in the dark but he managed to find his way, his need to find Olivia keeping him alert and awake. During the day, it took him about an hour to get there but he went slower now. When he passed the lake where they had shared a kiss underneath the waterfall, he slowed down even further and started looking for her car. When he finally reached the plateau where they had watched the sun set, it was nearing 5.00 AM. His stomach clenched when he saw something light up in the distance. Was it a licence plate? As his jeep rolled closer and closer, his heart rate shot up. It was a licence plate. It was a car. And it couldn't be anyone else's. Olivia was here.

Elliot shut down his engine and got out of the jeep. He quickly rounded the rocky wall and found the narrow trail leading up to the plateau. If Olivia was up there, she must have heard him pull up so when he was about halfway up the trail, he decided to call her.

"Olivia?"

No answer.

"Liv? I'm coming up there."

Still no answer, but he thought he heard some shuffling. It was a clear night with an almost full moon, and the beginnings of dawn were already starting to show in the sky. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, so when he reached the top he saw her immediately, standing in the middle of the plateau, dressed in jeans and sneakers and a long sweater, her arms wrapped around herself, and moving from one foot to the other nervously.

"Liv, thank God you're alright," Elliot sighed, walking up to her, but when she took a small step back, he stood still, six feet away from her. "Kathy told me to come immediately. I was worried sick. Please tell me what's wrong."

He couldn't make out her dark eyes in the dark, like she wouldn't be able to see his, and the urge to just grab her and hold her in his arms was overwhelming.

"You ... you shouldn't have come," Olivia said softly and he could hear in her voice that she'd been crying.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

It was the one question on his mind right now and he almost choked on the words. A sob escaped Olivia's lips and Elliot felt like she'd just stabbed him through the heart.

"Why?" he whispered.

Olivia shook her head fervently and he didn't know what it meant. He couldn't read her at all right now. All he knew was, she was holding his entire life in her hands and he was terrified that she was about to smash it to pieces.

"For God's sake Olivia," he said, a little harsher than he'd intended, but he was at his wits end.

"El, please. I can't do this," Olivia pleaded softly. "Not again."

"Do what? Give me a clue Liv!"

"I ... I never meant for this to happen. You have to believe me," she stammered. She had started crying again.

"Olivia!"

Her name echoed around them, his frustration echoing along with it. He wanted to grab her and shake it out of her, whatever it was that she wasn't telling him. He clenched his jaw and balled his hands into fists by his sides. Olivia looked like a deer caught in the headlights and he didn't want to scare her away but he needed answers. He hadn't driven all night to be sent away without knowing why.

"Liv," he repeated, a little softer. "Just tell me what it is. Whatever it is, we can deal with it. Together."

He saw her shaking her head again and she turned away from him, looking out into the distance, where the darkness was slowly going to give way to the light of the rising sun. Elliot stepped forward, moving closer to her so he could finally make out her face. She glanced at him and he could see tears glistening on her cheeks.

"I love you Olivia. More than life itself. Please ... please tell me why you're leaving me."

Because that was the message she was sending him. She was ending it and he needed to know why. Olivia's eyes had gone a little wider and she looked straight at him when she said,

"I don't want to."

"Then don't!"

She sighed and closed her eyes and Elliot finally gave into his frustration.

"Dammit Olivia!"

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her until she opened her eyes again. He saw the sadness in her eyes being replaced by a mixture of fear and anger just before she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away, hard.

"You don't understand!" she yelled.

That was exactly the point.

"No, I don't! So make me understand! Talk to me!" he yelled back.

"I'm scared!"

"Why?!"

"I'm pregnant!"

...

 **Dun dun!**

...

 **I have to say that I was surprised to see several reviewers actually getting it right. I wanted to drop a bomb but some of you actually saw it coming. Wow! So, how about this development? How will Elliot react? Review?**


	57. New life

**Another chapter already! So glad that many of you were surprised by the plot twist. Olivia has a deep trauma from her experience with Dean, and we'll get a peek inside her head first before we see, through her eyes, how Elliot responds to the news. They're having a baby! Keep your tissues handy ...**

... **  
**

 **57\. New life**

 ** _Previously that Saturday_**

She couldn't believe it had happened again. She felt like she was right back where she'd started, the first time she'd lost her heart to a man. She had never expected to be able to love like that again. After she'd gotten back on her feet, with the help of her most loyal friends and her extended family, she had made a vow to guard her heart better from now on. She would never need someone else to be happy again. She was Olivia Benson, fierce and independent. Shania Twain's _Any Man of Mine_ became her motto. I'm me and I'm not going to change for anyone ever again.

And to be fair, Elliot had not tried to change her. If anything, he was encouraging her to find her own way. But the way he'd captured her heart, had been frightening. Finding herself able to love again had been liberating but it had also made her afraid to relive all that she'd barely survived the first time. She knew Elliot wasn't Dean. Not only with her head but also with her heart. Elliot loved her and had proven it time and time again. He'd introduced her to his friends and to his family. He'd welcomed her in his home, and had let her go when she wanted to leave. He wasn't the one suffocating her. She was suffocating herself by her fear of embracing what she wanted, only to lose it again after a while.

She'd listened to John Munch and to Kathy. She really had. And she was trying to come to terms with the fact that she already loved Elliot too much to want to go on without him. But finding out she was pregnant despite being on the pill, again, had sent her spiraling down until she found herself back in those moments that had almost killed her, and had actually killed her first baby. Dean's ice cold eyes still haunted her in her dreams and she didn't want to go through all of that again. So in stead of chasing after the man who had fathered her child, she had ran away from him. She was not going to kill this baby too. She'd take care of it on her own. The last thing she wanted was for Elliot to feel obligated to support her, because she knew he would. That was just who he was. He would take his responsibility, whether it made him happy or not. But she knew that duty and responsibility on their own were the wrong foundations for a relationship. Love had to come first.

Olivia was meeting Kathy that Saturday afternoon. She had worked until 4 AM again so after she'd slept in for a while, she was meeting her best friend for a late lunch. Kathy had been concerned at how pale she'd been, but Olivia had just shrugged it off. Told her friend that tending bar from 10 to 4 was an Olympic sport and she just needed to eat something. After lunch, she'd stood up to make a quick call to Elliot when she'd suddenly felt faint. She had tried to hide it from Kathy, but nurse Kathy had noticed it anyway.

"That's it, you're coming with me to the ER and we're going to draw some blood. I think you're either anaemic or your blood pressure is way too low, or both," her best friend had said.

It had all gone so fast from there and she'd almost fainted when they got the initial results. The doctor wanted to do an additional pregnancy test as a double check. Kathy had seen her shock of course, and had tried to reason with her that she should tell Elliot as soon as possible. But she was already in panic mode, reliving everything all over again. She was thinking about possibly losing this baby too, and she'd switched off her phone immediately. She wasn't going to call Elliot or answer his calls. She needed time to come to terms with the fact that there was a new life growing inside her first. She was only about two weeks along but the test was very clear. She was pregnant.

Kathy had been the voice of reason, taking her back to her place, lightening the mood and painting pictures of how they were going to have so much fun with the baby once it was born. There was no question for Kathy if she wanted to keep it. Her best friend knew she did. She had managed to get some sleep at Kathy's and had eaten a little bit, forcing herself to start thinking about her baby. She'd been nursing a cup of herb tea when she realized that evening that Kathy was talking to Elliot on the phone in her bedroom. She hadn't told him already, had she?

As soon as Kathy walked back into the living room, Olivia had confronted her friend. Of course she hadn't told Elliot, but when she told her that Elliot was very concerned about her, she realized that he was probably on his way to see her. She tried to hide her renewed panic from her friend and used the first opportunity she got to sneak out of the house. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Elliot again. In fact, she ached to see him and to feel his strong arms wrap around her. She felt so safe with him but she didn't know how he'd react to the news. It was too soon. There was no doubt in her own mind that she wanted this baby. It was a part of her and it was conceived out of love. She just wasn't sure Elliot was ready for such a huge commitment, and she didn't want to make him feel like she was forcing his hand. And the pain Dean had caused her, sliced through her soul once more. She wasn't going to hope. Not this time. She was ready to do it alone and she wanted to give Elliot all the space he needed without expecting anything from him.

And so she'd ran. At first, she hadn't known where she was going. She wasn't exactly in Dana's good graces at the moment, and she had no one besides Kathy that she would entrust with her secret. When she found herself driving down Main Street out of town, her thoughts drifted to where it all had started. And then she knew where she was going to go.

It had been quite a challenge to find the place in the dark, and she'd contemplated stopping once she'd reached the moonlit lake. But she wanted to go further. To take her baby to the place where she'd fallen in love with its daddy. She'd cried once she got up there and had sat in the middle of the plateau, her knees pulled up to her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs. It was colder than she'd expected but she just wanted to be here, alone. With her baby. She told her baby about its father, the handsome, strong police man from New York, and could already picture him carrying their child on his broad shoulders. Somehow, she imagined it would be a girl. She cried harder when the image of them became clearer in her mind. What if he didn't want the child? What if he was angry about how careless she'd been - again - and wanted nothing to do with her anymore? She knew he loved her now, but they'd never discussed having a family. It had been too soon to bring it up, so she'd thought. And now she was going to drop a bomb on him, like she had done to Dean. She'd been so naive to think he'd be happy about it, and wasn't going to make that mistake again. She was preparing herself for the worst. How would Elliot ever forgive her?

The sound of an approaching car interrupted her depressing thoughts and she frowned. It couldn't be ... Elliot? She stayed perfectly still, almost afraid to breathe while listening for sounds indicating what the nightly visitor was doing or where they were going. She heard the car engine stop and then the sound of a car door being slammed shut. Then nothing for a while, until she heard a voice. _His_ voice. She scrambled to her feet quickly, wrapping her arms around herself. He couldn't be here! How did he even know she'd be here? She wasn't ready for this. And neither was he.

...

 ** _Present day_**

 _"I'm scared!"_

 _"Why?!"_

 _"I'm pregnant!"_

As her words echoed around them, Olivia's wide eyes were fixed on Elliot's face. It was out there now and this was the moment of truth. She wanted to close her eyes so she wouldn't see his turn to ice but she just couldn't. There was nowhere to run anymore and she needed to face it. And so she watched him as the meaning of her words slowly sank in. He stood frozen at first, his mouth open but no sound coming out. Then, his eyebrows went up and she saw his surprise. He seemed to relax just a little. She was holding her breath, bracing herself for the next emotion. It would be anger, no doubt.

No.

His eyes trailed down her body and back up to her face and they now showed wonder. His eyes dropped down again, and then his entire body dropped down, on his knees. He reached for her then and their hands found each other like magnets. He pulled her towards him and before she realized what he was doing, his arms were around her waist, his cheek pressed against her abdomen and he let out a shaky breath. He looked up at her then and there was only one way to describe the look in his eyes. It was pure joy.

It was pure joy.

Her chin started to tremble and fresh tears were forming, blurring her vision.

"A baby?" she heard him say softly and he looked up at her in awe. "We're having a baby?"

She couldn't help smiling now and laughed nervously through her tears. She nodded, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"You're having my baby," he said, as if trying to convince himself that this was real.

His arms tightened around her again and she could feel his body trembling. When he lowered his head and placed a kiss on her belly, Olivia's legs finally gave out and she let herselft sink to the ground. She was caught in a whirlwind of emotion and it wasn't anything like she had feared or had experienced before. She was confused but the one thing she was registering very cleary was, that Elliot wasn't angry. He was ... happy?

Elliot sat down and pulled her into his lap as soon as she was on the ground, his arms still wrapped firmly around her. She looked at his eyes again, the mirrors of his soul and they showed sadness now.

"El ..." she sighed, not knowing where to begin.

"Did you think I wouldn't want it?"

He _was_ sad. Sad that she apparently didn't know him well enough. She wanted to cry all over again but managed to take a deep breath in stead.

"It's too soon," she whispered.

"Too soon for what?" he asked her.

"We've only been together a few months. If you're not ready for this ..."

"I've been ready for this since they day I met you Liv," Elliot interrupted her and this time, she did start crying again.

Elliot just held her, rocking her while she sobbed on his shoulder. It felt so good to be in his arms again and she could feel all the pent-up fear and anxiety finally leave her body as she cried. Elliot was whispering sweet things while he rocked her gently, and she was starting to believe them. It's going to be alright. I'm here for you. I love you. I'll never leave you. I'm here to stay. We're going to be a family.

A family.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and wiped the tears from her face. There was a beautiful glow around them now as the sun began lighting up the sky even before showing itself. She looked at her handsome companion. Her lover. The father of her unborn child. He looked so calm now, so sure of himself, and of them. He'd always been more sure of them than she had, but that had been all on her. She'd allowed her past to taint her expectations of the present but seeing the joy on Elliot's face was finally wiping it all out. He wasn't angry and he wasn't leaving. He hadn't even asked her why she'd ran off. He understood and he had forgiven her already. And most importantly, he wasn't staying just because he felt responsible. She could see the love in his eyes and there wasn't even the slightest hint of doubt or regret in them anywhere.

"It's just a tiny little spec right now El," she said softly when she finally found her voice again. "A lot can go wrong at this stage."

Elliot brushed her hair out of her face and caressed her wet cheek gently with his thumb.

"Nothing will go wrong. And if it does, we'll try again."

Olivia's heart almost burst out of her chest at his words and she couldn't help it that she started to cry again. She was a hormonal mess already. He really did want a child with her and not just because she was already pregnant. Elliot kissed her cheek and she automatically turned her head towards him. He kissed her softly on the lips then, and she had never felt safer than in that moment. She kissed him back and they clung to each other, their bodies conveying all the things they didn't have words for in these moments. Their love for each other had created a new life, and when they broke apart, the firsts rays of sun peeked over the horizon. They had watched their first sunset here together, and now they watched the sun rise. It was a new day. A new beginning. A new life.

...


	58. Move

**Hello again! No, the previous chapter was not the end of the story. There are still a few chapters to go here. We want to see the baby, don't we? This one isn't my longest, but i want to keep the story going so I decided to publish this now. I hope you will enjoy it.**

...

 **58\. Move**

Elliot had never, ever felt this way before. He could still barely wrap his brain around it. She was pregnant. Olivia Benson was pregnant with his child. She was going to be a mother at last, and he was the father! It was everything he ever wanted. He hadn't even asked her if she wanted the baby. He knew she did. He understood why she'd freaked out though. When she found out she was pregnant, it must have felt like the start of a complete rerun of the worst time of her life. He had thought it would be too soon for her to start talking about a family because of her traumatic experience, but he was ready for this. He would move to her town and find a place where they could live together and raise their baby. Their child would go to Olivia's old school and she'd tell him or her all about her own adventures. He'd get a local job in law enforcement. He knew Cragen would write a glowing recommendation for him. Their future was laid out for them and he was overjoyed. Olivia was safe and sound in his arms, and seemed to have relaxed at last. He stroked her arm gently and enjoyed the warmth of the sun, that had come up. Then he remembered he'd promised Kathy he would let her know once he'd found Olivia.

"Liv?" he said softly.

Olivia's head was resting on his shoulder and her eyes were closed. If he didn't know any better, he would think she was sleeping.

"Hmmm?"

"We should call Kathy."

"Why?"

"She's worried sick about you."

"Oh."

Olivia opened her eyes and sat up in his lap.

"I'm sorry. I've been so selfish," she sighed.

Then, a bright smile appeared on her face and she looked at him. The realization hit her again that they were going to be a family. Elliot was actually here and so, so happy that he was going to be a daddy. He smiled back at her, and the sunlight gave him such a beautiful glow that his eyes seemed to spread light themselves.

"Hey mommy, you're allowed to be a little selfish now," Elliot said softly, and she wanted to cry again when he called her mommy.

Elliot put a hand over her still flat stomach and kissed her cheek.

"Mommy," Olivia sighed, smiling while looking down at his hand and covering it with her own. "And daddy."

"Awesome," Elliot whispered, and she felt warm and fuzzy inside.

But Elliot was right. They should call Kathy.

"I'll call her and apologize," Olivia said, and Elliot helped her stand up while he stood as well.

He watched her while she called her best friend, and laughed and cried on the phone with Kathy. He looked around at the beautiful view in front of him and could already see them come back here in a year's time to bring their baby here. They could take it swimming in the lake once it was a little older and tell them all about how they'd met and had fallen in love almost instantly. This baby was conceived out of love and he couldn't wait to meet their child. He hoped it would be a girl and that she would look exactly like her mother. He felt blessed, and after Olivia had ended her call and told him Kathy was expecting them both for breakfast asap, he wrapped his arms around her again and kissed her softly. He took her hand and led her down the steep trail back to their cars. Two cars.

"We can send for one of them," he suggested, and Olivia nodded.

"Let's take your jeep," she said.

"Alright. But before we go, let me show you something."

Elliot grabbed his duffel bag from the back of his jeep and zipped it open, pulling out his printouts from Noah Bunning's website.

"What's that?" Olivia asked, leaning against him to take a look at the papers.

"Apartments here in town. I'm planning to go look at a few."

Olivia seemed genuinely shocked when she looked up at him.

"Apartments here in town? Why?"

"So I can be near you, of course," Elliot said with a grin, kind of enjoying her surprise.

"Oh."

Olivia looked at the papers again.

"You are planning to move here? For me?"

Elliot wiggled his head and looked her questioningly.

"Yeah."

Olivia put a hand over her mouth and he wasn't sure what to make of her reaction. She seemed ... torn?

"Were you going to discuss that with me?"

"Of course," Elliot said quickly, remembering what Noah had told him. It's a very important step. Discuss it with her. "Of course I was going to discuss it with you. I just thought, under the circumstances that ... that you'd want me here."

Olivia shook her head and lowered her hand, reaching for the papers, and Elliot let her take them from his hand.

"No," she said softly and Elliot felt his stomach clench. No? she didn't want him there after all?

"I don't want you to move here El."

She was speaking very softly but her words hurt him nonetheless.

"Why not?"

When Olivia looked up and into his eyes, he was confused again. She seemed so calm now and so happy.

"This ...," she said, holding up the papers between them, "this really means so much to me. To know you were willing to move here to be with me. With _us_ ," she added, her happy smile widening even further. "But I don't want you to move for me, El. I ... I've made up my mind. I want to come and live with you in New York!"

Elliot was stunned, again, and he felt chills running up and down his back. He laughed out loud when Olivia added a little timidly,

"If you'll have me, that is."

"Are you kidding me Liv?" he said, laughing, and he picked her up from the ground to spin her around before setting her down again carefully, her back up against his jeep.

He wasn't even going to dignify her question with an answer. In stead, he kissed her softly and when she sighed, parting her lips, he deepened the kiss. Her arms slipped around his neck and his around her waist and he kissed her more passionately. All his senses were on high alert. She was here, kissing him, pregnant with his child and willing to move to New York to be with him. He felt euphoric and when Olivia's hands started roaming his body, he moaned and slipped his hands under her sweater. Olivia moaned as well and pushed her entire body into his. Elliot suddenly realized where they were and carefully ended their heated kiss to look into Olivia's eyes.

"Baby, as much as I'd like to continue this," he started, taking a deep breath, "we have to think of the baby."

Olivia let out a frustrated sound and then looked at him with an adorable pout.

"She's not running our lives already, is she?"

"She?" Elliot said, pulling her closer to him again.

Talking about their child made him want to stay close to her.

"Or he," Olivia said, moving her face close to his to kiss his jaw. "But it's perfectly safe, El. Pregnant women can still have sex."

"We're not having sex here," Elliot huffed, hoping he'd sounded determined enough.

"So where?" Olivia asked and he groaned because she wasn't making it easy for him to hold back.

But he wanted to treat her right and he honestly wanted to be more careful with Olivia now that she was pregnant. He took another deep breath and said,

"Let's go see Kathy first okay? We can get some sleep later."

Olivia moved her hands up his pecs until she could caress his neck.

"I wasn't talking about sleep," she said huskily and Elliot groaned again.

"Get in the car, woman," he instructed sternly, and finally Olivia decided to co-operate, although she was still laughing softly.

She was a tease and he loved it. All the tension that had hung between them had disappeared. And he'd do everything in his power to keep it that way from now on. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, till ... He shook his head and smiled at himself while getting into the jeep at last. This wasn't the time. But soon, he promised himself. Soon.

...

Olivia's mind and body were reeling. She was glad that the car ride back to town gave her the opportunity to process all that had happened during the night and early morning. But when she thought about it, it wasn't very complicated at all. Elliot was here and was ecstatic about her pregnancy. All her fears that history was going to repeat itself had been wiped out once and for all. She was never going to look back again. The pain of losing her first little one might still come back from time to time, but she had turned a new leaf today. With Elliot, the father of her baby, who truly loved her and who had actually been willing to change his entire life for her. The papers she still had in her lap were irrefutable proof of that. They even had a print date on them of a week ago. She would never have to doubt Elliot's intentions ever again. She shouldn't have in the first place, but that was all on her. Elliot had been perfect and he continued to be perfect.

After just a short while, she felt herself nodding off. She was at peace at last and smiled as she drifted off to sleep, thinking about taking their little girl to playgrounds in the Big Apple and teaching her to be a strong woman of the world. Or man, she thought, smiling. A handsome man that looked just like his father. Or both. A boy and a girl. Her family.

Elliot glanced at Olivia and smiled when he saw she'd fallen asleep. He placed his right hand over her left hand in her lap and sighed contently. She was going to be okay now. They were going to be okay. All three of them.

...

Olivia had woken up when the jeep rolled into town, and by the time they reached Kathy's place, she was wide awake and bubbling with excitement. She was out of the car even before it had come to a full stop and Kathy's door swung open before she'd crossed the street. Both women fell into each others' arms and Elliot heard a few I told you so's from Kathy and a few I'm sorry's from Olivia while they hugged each other and laughed together. When he joined them at the door, Kathy pulled him into their hug spontaneously and he wrapped his arms around both women.

"I told her you're the real think but she wouldn't listen to me," Kathy said, grinning and Elliot leaned in to kiss the blonde on the cheek.

"What was that for?" Kathy asked, and she actually blushed slightly.

"For being such a great friend to Olivia. I know you mean a lot to her, so you mean a lot to me too," Elliot replied sincerely.

"Aw shucks," Kathy said, but he could see a sheen of tears in her eyes before she looked away to hug Olivia once more.

"He's right Kath," Olivia told her friend quietly. "I don't know what would have become of me without you. I'm gonna miss you so much."

"What?"

Kathy took a small step back and looked at her two friends.

"Miss me? You mean ... oh."

"Kathy ..." Olivia started, but she waved her off.

"No. I understand. Actually, I knew this was going to happen. But I'll see you when I visit Kyle."

"Yeah," Olivia said, looking up at Elliot, who had one arm wrapped around her shoulders loosely. "Kyle's in New York too."

Elliot looked from Olivia to Kathy and then asked the blonde,

"That's right. So why don't you move to New York as well?"

...

 **Review? More?**


	59. Beautiful day

**I know this is a short chapter. I will try to write more soon.**

...

 **59\. Beautiful day**

Elliot and Olivia had snuggled up on Kathy's couch after breakfast. Kathy had waved off their question about moving to New York, but she was currently on the phone with Kyle.

"She's really in love," Olivia whispered to Elliot, who kissed her forehead softly.

"I know. I hope they will know soon if they want to move forward together," Elliot replied equally softly.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get there," Olivia said, but Elliot shook his head and kissed her on the lips.

"Don't apologize. Like you said, it's only been a couple of months and you had a lot to work through."

"Thank you baby," Olivia whispered before kissing him again.

"I like the sound of that. Baby," Elliot growled softly.

Olivia giggled when he wrapped his arms around her and lowered her onto the couch. She gave in and wrapped her arms around his neck when he leaned over her to kiss her again. She felt a little lightheaded but loved the feeling of Elliot's body against hers. He was actually here and they were going to be together from now on. They lost themselves in a long, deep kiss and didn't break apart until Kathy cleared her throat rather exaggeratedly. Elliot sat up quickly, pulling her up with him, and Olivia bit her lip.

"May I suggest you two get out of here and do ... _that_ elsewhere? I haven't slept all night and I'm not going to listen to you two going at it on my couch while I try to get some shuteye at last."

They decided to get out of Kathy's way quickly and thanked her again for being such a loyal friend before heading to Olivia's home. Now that the first adrenaline kick had worn off, Olivia was beginning to feel the effects of her sleepless night, and she noticed that Elliot was stifling a yawn as well. While she'd craved a shower earlier, she felt like just crashing on the bed fully clothed and sleep. Elliot was in the same shape and they barely managed to get out of their jeans and sweaters before snuggling up under the covers.

"I love you Liv," Elliot mumbled against her temple and she replied "I love you too," against his collarbone before drifting off to sleep contently.

...

Elliot was the first one to wake up and he used the opportunity to just look at Olivia. She seemed so peaceful now, completely relaxed and content. She was carrying his child. He still couldn't really fathom it. She was having his baby and she was moving to New York. They were going to be a family. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was almost too good to be true. Almost. But it was really happening. He would call Fin today to let him know he'd be back soon and to ask him how Cragen had reacted to his sudden departure. He was willing to work a few extra shifts to make up for his unexpected absence and hoped his boss would find it in him to be understanding about the circumstances.

He rolled on his right side and moved his left hand under the covers until it rested on Olivia's hip. He didn't want to wake her yet but he really wanted to touch her. She was facing him, her left arm propped underneath her pillow and it looked like she had drooled a little while they were sleeping. He thought it was so cute and so ordinary that it made his heart flutter. He couldn't believe that something as silly as someone drooling while asleep would make his heart flutter and he grinned at himself. He was totally lost, totally hers.

Olivia's eyes opened a crack and she asked him groggily,

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing baby, I'm just happy to see you," Elliot said quickly.

He didn't think it would be wise to say anything about drooling right now.

"What time is it?" Olivia asked, opening her eyes a little wider.

Elliot checked his alarm clock.

"One AM."

Olivia sat up quickly but then sighed. Elliot sat up next to her in a flash.

"What is it Liv? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just ... a bit dizzy. I shouldn't get up so fast."

"Is that because you're pregnant?" Elliot asked, still in awe of the word itself as well as what it meant for them.

"Probably," Olivia nodded. "And I have to use the bathroom."

She got up slowly then and Elliot watched her as she walked to the bathroom across the hall in just her underwear and a tank top. The door to the bathroom at his place was inside his bedroom, and he thought that would come in handy for Olivia as her pregnancy progressed. He smiled again at the thought and lay back down on his back while he waited for Olivia to return. When she came back, the trace of dried-up drool was gone and she smelled like soap and toothpaste. Elliot suddenly worried about his own breath and decided to go to the bathroom as well before Olivia would smell him.

"We _could_ take a shower together," Olivia called after him and he turned around at the door.

"I don't know who else is in the house."

"So?" she asked him with a sly smile and Elliot felt his body responding in several places to the predatory look in her eyes.

He shook his head, suddenly in a hurry to get back into bed with her.

"I'm just gonna brush my teeth real quick, okay. Takes less time."

Olivia bit her lip, and kept looking at him with those smoldering eyes. Elliot turned around quickly and heard her laughing when he hurried to the bathroom to freshen himself up quickly. _Very_ quickly.

...

She was feeling lightheaded again but it was an amazing kind of lightheaded. Elliot had tried so hard to go slow with her. Be careful and tender, because of the baby. She loved him for it, but she knew his restraint wouldn't last. And it hadn't. He was moving deep inside her and his thrusts were becoming more powerful. Less controlled. She wanted it that way. She was finally ready to give herself to him, wholly and completely, and she wanted him to take her just as completely. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck while he sucked the tender skin of her neck.

"El. Please ... harder ..." she panted, having finally convinced him that he should be on top.

She was surrendering to him, not only physically but emotionally, spiritually, in every way possible. The light in his eyes, the sheer joy in them when he'd realized they were going to be parents, had convinced her once and for all that he was totally committed to her. To them. To their family. Olivia almost choked up at the thought, just when Elliot hit a particularly sensitive spot, and she let out a strangled moan.

"You okay?" Elliot panted and she wrapped her legs more tightly around him.

"Oh yeah," was all she could croak out. She was so close and couldn't say another word until a wave of ecstasy engulfed her.

Then all she could do was whisper his name while Elliot followed her instantly, professing his love to her in words and deeds like only he could, as they came together. Once they stilled, Elliot flipped them over so she was on top of him and she rested her head on his chest contently, listening to his heartbeat, which very gradually returned to normal. It was soothing to hear his heart beating, knowing it was beating for her. Elliot's fingers were tracing invisible patterns on her back gently and she shivered unconsciously.

"Cold?" Elliot asked her, and Olivia lifted her head to look at him, resting her chin on her hands on his chest.

"No. You?"

"I've got the best blanket in the whole world," Elliot grinned and she smiled.

"I don't know where mine went. I was under it just now."

Elliot got the message and flipped them over again, nestling himself comfortably between her legs.

"Better?" he asked her and now it was her turn to draw on his back.

"Much better."

"I could stay like this forever," Elliot admitted, kissing her chest and nuzzling his nose between her breasts.

"I couldn't," Olivia said, making his head snap up.

"What?"

Olivia giggled and caressed the back of his neck. Then she explained.

"I'm hungry."

Elliot's boisterous laugh could be heard downstairs and floated out the window of Olivia's bedroom, which was open a crack. The sun had been up for along time, birds were chirping and town life was humming quietly around them. It was a beautiful day. It was the first day of their new life together.

...

 **To be continued. Review?**


	60. Lineage

**60\. Lineage**

...

 **Three months later**

Maureen and Vivian couldn't have chosen a more perfect day for their wedding. It was a small, intimate wedding, organized quickly after they'd announced their engagement, and several of their friends were still muttering about the lack of preparation time. It was mid July and the weather was perfect. Hardly any wind at all, and the sand on the beach was almost too hot under their feet. The newlyweds had kicked their shoes off almost immediately after they had all arrived at Bernie's house, and had just performed the opening dance on the beach barefoot.

Elliot had glanced at Olivia several times during the short ceremony but she had been focused on the official proceedings almost the whole time. Her hand had been in her lap, covering her belly and he'd seen her smile and look down a few times. They'd already had their first ultrasound and their baby was exactly the right size for a 14 week pregnancy, and it had a strong heartbeat. They had wanted to tell the family already, but hadn't wanted to take the attention away from Maureen and Vivian. And he knew it had meant a lot to Olivia to get this far, having lost her first baby at nine weeks.

She wasn't showing yet unless you knew to look for it, but Elliot loved how her belly was already starting to become firmer. He couldn't be more proud of Olivia. She had battled through the first period of nausea bravely while they had arranged for her to move in with him. He had let her pick out new furniture and she had moved her own bed, which used to belong to her mother, to New York. His place looked so much brighter now, so alive. It wasn't his place anymore. It was _their_ place now. They would look for something a little bigger in a while, as soon as Olivia found a paid job, but for now it would do.

Olivia was still working through a lot of theory while volunteering at a shelter for abused women with their children. They had told her that as soon as she began to show too much, she would have to stop working there for a while because seeing their counselor pregnant could be triggering for some women. Olivia would focus on getting her diplomas during that time, so she would be ready to go job hunting after she had the baby. She was taking it all in stride now, and he felt proud to be the man to put that happy smile on her face every day.

Elliot's eyes drifted to his sister, who was radiant as well, having married the love of her life today. He was happy for her, and for the first time in his life, he wasn't the least bit jealous at a wedding. Soon, it would be Robert and Pippa's turn, and then Murphy and Rebecca. But he had Olivia now. He had found the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and he was looking forward to making that official too. To be honest, he had no idea how she'd react. He glanced at her again. She looked so beautiful in her strapless white summer dress and her hair tied back with a beautiful white rose behind her left ear. She could have been the bride today. The two real brides were dressed in soft yellow so Olivia had known the white dress would be okay to wear. It wasn't too tight, so her little bump wouldn't show.

Maureen and Vivian dragged them out to the dance area right after their first dance, and after a while, when all the guests were on their feet, Elliot found Olivia again and danced with her. He held her close and nuzzled his nose in the crook of her neck. Her skin was warm from the radiant sun and he wanted to kiss her shoulders and every other part of skin he could find. But he couldn't do that here. Could he? In stead, he just held her close and he could tell that Olivia was perfectly okay with that.

After dancing for a while, Elliot got them drinks. Alcohol free for Olivia, of course. They watched the happy couple mingle with their guests and they were both so happy. When Vivian spotted them, she walked over and put a hand on Olivia's arm.

"El, could I steal your better half for a moment?" she asked her brother-in-law, knowing full well that calling Olivia his better half would melt his heart instantly.

Elliot smiled and made an inviting gesture.

"Of course. But only if you bring her back."

Vivian shot him an air kiss and then moved a few yards away from the party goers with Olivia.

"Is the day turning out the way you and Maureen wanted it to?" Olivia asked her.

"Oh yes. Absolutely. Best day of my life so far. But I'm hoping for more best days in our future."

Vivian's dark eyes were shining and Olivia was very happy for her. She seemed less burdened somehow than the last time they spoke.

"And that's why I wanted to talk to you. I want to thank you."

"Thank me? For what, Vivian?" Olivia asked.

She honestly had no idea what Vivian would want to thank her for.

"Do you remember our talk during our walk on the beach with the whole family?" Vivian asked, and Olivia nodded.

She had been worried that she'd made Vivian question her lineage even more than before after sharing her own story of being the product of a rape. And now Vivian was thanking her?

"Well, I talked with Maureen about it. A lot, actually. Before our talk, I'd always been a little worried about what might be in my genes because I didn't know my father. I don't know what he looks like, what he's like as a person, and also I don't know about any illnesses on his side or any personality traits I might pass on if ..."

Vivian suddenly bit her lip, as if she'd said too much, but Olivia was starting to catch on.

"You mean, it was affecting your decision about having children."

"Yes."

"Well, the good thing about you and Maureen is, of course, that you have a choice who carries the kids," Olivia said with an encouraging smile.

"Hah, funny. But that's just the thing," Vivian continued. "I've thought about it long and hard, and we've decided that it doesn't matter who my father is or was. It doesn't even matter who my mother was, and Lord knows she had her faults. All that really matters in the end, is who _I_ am and who Maureen is, and who we are to each other."

"Wow Vivian. That is beautiful," Olivia said softly.

The words rang very true and had an even deeper meaning for her, now that she was carrying her and Elliot's baby.

"Yeah. And we have you to thank for the decision we made."

"Decision?"

Vivian was grinning widely and nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Yes. We really want to start a family soon, and we've decided that I'm going to carry our first baby."

Olivia's mouth fell open and she was genuinely surprised. She hugged Vivian, who held her tight for a few moments. Both women had tears in their eyes. When they broke apart, Olivia admitted that she had just assumed Maureen would be the birth mother to the couple's children.

"Everyone probably thinks that. Isn't it funny?" Vivian said, still grinning.

Olivia resisted the urge to ask for more details about how they were going to get Vivian pregnant and if she knew she would be able to get pregnant in the first place. It was none of her concern. She was just very relieved that her talk about rape hadn't put Vivian off. On the contrary. She had a more positive outlook on life as a result of finally dealing with not knowing who her father had been. It was a beautiful example to follow.

"I'm looking forward to hearing the good news very soon then," she finally said.

"You sure will, and thank you again Olivia," Vivian said, hugging her once more.

When they broke apart the second time, Vivian's eyes dropped down and then went back up to Olivia's. The blonde raised an eyebrow and Olivia's face flushed red instantly. Had Vivian felt her baby bump?

"Oh. My. God," Vivian whispered, and Olivia quickly put a finger over her lips.

"Please," she whispered back. "This is your day. Yours and Maureens."

Vivian jumped up and down excitedly and then tried to shake off the bubbly happy feeling that had come over her.

"This won't be easy to keep to myself, girl," she admitted. "Why don't you tell the whole family now? They're all here anyway."

But Olivia insisted that they didn't want to take any attention away from the newlyweds on their wedding day. Vivian promised she wouldn't tell anyone, except Maureen after the party. Olivia couldn't really blame her for that. They returned to the party and when Vivian walked past Elliot, she gave him a playful punch in the chest, grinning at him before dashing off to find her wife.

Elliot looked at Olivia, wondering what that was about. Olivia stood on her toes to whisper in his ear,

"She knows."

"Oh. How?"

"She felt it."

"Huh? Was she feeling you up or something?"

"Elliot!"

Elliot chuckled and Olivia explained her conversation with Vivian to him in a few words. He was happy for Olivia that she was developing such a good rapport with her new sister-in-law and they agreed that their announcement would have to wait in favor of the newlyweds, despite Vivian's suggestion to just tell everyone about the pregnancy now. Besides, Elliot had something planned that he wanted to do first, before any kind of announcement was made.

...

 **Trying to keep this story going as well as "All I Need To Know" so writing a few short(er) bursts. I'd really like some more feedback if you can spare a moment?**


	61. No Words

**Another short burst. Getting there, slowly but surely. Enjoy! PS. To guest reviewer SvuFan: I agree :)**

...

 **61\. No words**

It had been a wonderful day and Olivia was tired but very content. After they had arrived home, she'd ducked into the shower, needing to rinse the sand off of her sticky body. The evening air had cooled off a bit, but it was still warm. It truly had been a perfect wedding day for her sisters-in-law. Elliot had had a few drinks but had kept a clear head, telling her he wanted to show his solidarity with her by moderating his drinking. He'd been the best man, of course, and she was so proud of her handsome man. And Vivian's words had really moved her. She had wondered about what she would be passing on to their baby herself, but Vivian was right. This was _their_ baby, hers and Elliot's. Nothing else mattered.

After washing her hair and brushing her teeth underneath the hot spray, Olivia wondered if Elliot was going to pop in before she was finished. She loved showering together with him, but there was no sign of him tonight. Maybe he thought she was too tired. She smiled and moved her hands over her little baby bump.

"You have the most loving, considerate daddy in the whole world, little one," she whispered to the child that was growing inside her. "And we both can't wait to meet you."

She sighed contently and then turned the shower off. She dried herself off and put on the soft robe Elliot had bought for her the day she had officially moved in. It was an elegant robe, not too warm for these warm summer evenings. She wondered if she'd be able to keep wearing it as her pregnancy progressed. After combing her wet hair loosely, she padded back to the bedroom. As soon as she looked at the room, she froze.

"What the ..."

Elliot had made their bed perfectly and there were red rose petals all over the comforter. Only the small lamp on his nightstand was on and soft music was coming from his MP3 docking station on the side table across from the bed. And there was Elliot, in his tuxedo, including his jacket and bow tie now, with a shy smile on his face. Was he nervous?

"Elliot," Olivia sighed, walking up to him slowly. "What's going on?"

"Liv," Elliot started, and his voice was trembling. Olivia got a funny feeling in her stomach instantly. Was something wrong? Their bedroom sure didn't look like there was something wrong.

"Yes?" she said, stopping in her tracks.

She could see the muscles in his face twitch nervously and she held her breath unconsciously.

"There is only one thing that can make this day even more perfect than it already is," Elliot said.

Olivia blinked a few times. She was trying to think of something to say but her mind had gone completely blank. A side-effect of the pregnancy maybe?

"So ..." Elliot continued, and he stepped closer to her until he could take her right hand in his.

Olivia swallowed hard. What was he doing?

"Olivia Benson ..."

Her eyes flicked up to his and followed them down as Elliot dropped down to one knee in front of her.

 _Oh my God!_

Olivia's left hand flew to her mouth, covering it, while goosebumps broke out all over her body. He was going to ... He was actually going to ... He was taking something out of his pocket.

"Elliot," she sighed again.

"Will you marry me?" Elliot finally asked, his voice now sure and steady.

Olivia gasped and froze again for a moment.

"It doesn't have to be right away," Elliot hurried to add. "Just say you'll marry me one day?"

Tears had welled up in her eyes, her vision was blurred and her throat constricted, but she started nodding immediately.

"Is that a yes?" she heard Elliot ask hopefully and she finally found her voice again.

"Yes."

Her answer had been barely more than a whisper but it registered as a powerful statement for both of them. It meant so much. Elliot, who had all but given up on true love, had found the love of his life after all. And Olivia, whose heart had been crushed so badly that she thought she could never trust a man again, was saying yes to the man who had restored her faith in love.

Her knees buckled and Elliot guided her down, until she was on her knees in front of him. His hands were shaking when he took the ring he'd bought for her out of the small velvet box in his hand. A small, single diamond sparked on the narrow golden band, and Olivia held out her right hand so he could put in on her finger. She was stunned. Not really that Elliot wanted to marry her, because in all honestly, she had expected him to want to make a 'respectable woman' out of her. It was just the kind of man he was. But she was stunned that he had chosen this day, the day his sister had gotten married, to surprise her like this. It was so obvious that he didn't feel obligated to ask her because he'd knocked her up. This was Elliot being vulnerable, taking a leap of faith, trusting her with his heart. And she was going to cherish it.

When the ring was on her finger, they both looked at it in wonder. She'd never worn a lot of jewelry but she knew that she would never take this ring off again. When she felt Elliot's fingers brush her cheek, she turned her head to face him and he captured her lips with his in a sweet, tender kiss.

"I love you," he said softly against her lips and somehow the words seemed inadequate. There was so much he felt for her and wanted to say that he just couldn't find the words for. But her "yes" meant everything to him. In that one word, she had told him so much. She was trusting him with her heart. And he was going to cherish it.

"I love you too," she whispered back.

She let him lift her up and carry her over to the bed. He even asked her if she was tired and wanted to sleep, but Olivia laughed and pulled him close to her. He had hoped she'd have some energy left but he hadn't assumed it. But after his proposal, Olivia was wide awake. She helped him out of his clothes and asked him to lay down.

"I'm going to make love to you," she told him, shedding her robe quickly and climbing over him.

He wasn't about to complain. He looked up at her in awe while she prepared him. Not that he needed a lot of preparation. Just looking at her beautiful naked form, was enough to put his body on high alert. She smiled at him and he could still see the remains of her tears of joy when he'd proposed to her. He'd been so nervous. Not because he'd been worried she would say no, but because it might be too soon. They hadn't talked about when yet, and he didn't want to talk about it now. Olivia's hands were caressing his chest, tracing the muscles of his chest and shoulders. He caressed her thighs and when she leaned forward to kiss him, he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her close to his chest.

They kissed languidly, and made love lazily. There was no rush and they enjoyed each other thoroughly. Olivia moved with such ease while she rode him slowly, that Elliot had to remind himself to breathe.

"You take my breath away," he told her honestly, and Olivia giggled. He loved the sound so much that it almost moved him to tears. Almost. He translated his love for her by pulling her down harder on him so he was deeper inside her. Olivia groaned and worked with him, grinding into him harder as well.

"So good," she sighed and he wanted her to say again how much she enjoyed it. Not for his own ego but because he wanted to please her. His desire to please her was almost painful for him and he bit his lip to keep it from trembling. Olivia had registered the emotion on his face though. She leaned forward again, her hardened nipples scraping his chest. She kept moving her hips slowly while looking into his eyes.

"What is it baby?" she asked him.

He couldn't put it into words and when he released his lip, he could no longer hide how moved he was.

"Oh Elliot," Olivia said softly.

She lowered her head and rested her forehead on his right shoulder while caressing his left cheek with her hand.

"Liv," he whispered, but there were no words to describe what he was feeling.

"I know," she whispered back, and he believed her.

There were no words for what they were sharing tonight. When they came, they came silently, gasping and holding each other tight. And Elliot knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that no matter when they'd actually get married, Olivia was already his wife.

...

 **To be continued. Next up, another time jump. Review?**


	62. Joy

**Please forgive me for this huge time jump, which suddenly brings us almost to the end of this story.**

 **I had a very, _very_ specific scene in mind to address a certain issue, and it would totally lose its element of surprise if I wrote the remaining life events in order before giving you this scene. This is why, after thinking about it long and hard - and even writing a totally different chapter first - I feel like I had no choice but to jump straight to my intended scene, skipping the birth of the first Bensler baby and the wedding for now. These important events in the lives of Elliot and Olivia will be addressed in a few flashbacks after this. I hope you will understand after reading this chapter.**

...

 **62\. Joy**

...

 **Three years later**

Olivia was a little nervous. It wasn't the first time she would do a presentation, but it was the first time for her for an audience of doctors and other medical personnel. She was the rising star of a New York based foundation dedicated to creating more awareness of child abuse in order to prevent it, and to helping the survivors of domestic violence to find their strength again and become healthy, balanced adults. She'd been asked to fill in for another speaker at the last moment and the CEO of their foundation had given her his full support to deliver her speech on signs of child abuse other than the visible, physical signs. It was important to have medical staff on their side, to recognize these signs in behavior and in the choice of words of abused children, so the Special Victims Unit, Children's services and the foundation could be alerted immediately. They could never stress the signs enough, because a lot still got overlooked in the hospital staff's often rushed schedule.

Elliot had promised he'd be there but she had decided not to look for him in the crowd. She was going to focus on the message she had come to deliver. There was a sea of white coats in the hospital auditorium and Olivia took a deep breath while the hospital director made a short announcement. She could do this. She put a hand over her baby bump and closed her eyes for a second. She was six months along already and couldn't wait to meet their new baby. It was her love for the children that motivated her to keep fighting for children who were less fortunate than her own. She breathed out slowly, enjoying the flutter of her baby's movements inside her womb for a few more seconds before she was called up on the small platform.

"... managed to find a very talented, knowledgeable replacement, and we're very happy she could make it on such short notice. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ms. Olivia Benson."

...

She had delivered her speech professionally and without a hitch and had answered several questions from the hospital staff. There was an information leaflet as well as a printout of her PowerPoint presentation available for everyone, and she mingled with the doctors and nurses for a while afterwards. She hadn't spotted Elliot yet but she knew he'd probably stay in the back for a bit because of the children. After this meeting, they were off to Maureen and Vivian's to take little Calvin home after his sleepover at their new place. They had loved having him and it had been a good test how they'd deal with two kids. She rubbed her belly and smiled. Just a few more months ...

Olivia felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around, expecting to see her husband. She blinked a few times when she was suddenly face to face with someone she hadn't seen in years and hadn't ever expected to see again.

"Olivia," he said and his dark eyes reflected several emotions simultaneously, ranging from surprise to admiration as well as a hint of uncertainty.

Olivia's voice was calm and strong when she said his name.

"Dean."

She looked at him more attentively then and saw that his eyes were drifting down to her baby bump. She put a protecting hand over it instinctively and watched him watch her.

Here stood the man that had almost broken her. The man that had almost killed her. The man that she had thought she could never live without. The man that had turned to ice the instant she'd told him they were having a baby. The man who had told her to get rid of their child immediately and who had laughed at her when she said she thought he loved her. The man who had damaged her so profoundly, that she'd almost let the best thing that ever happened to her, slip through her fingers.

He was saying something. Something about her presentation and how good it was to see her but she was hardly listening. She was monitoring herself. Gauging her own reaction to this sudden meeting and she had to conclude that she felt ... nothing. Nothing whatsoever. No shock. No pain. No love. No hate.

Nothing.

Dean on the other hand, was suddenly very interested in her. She hadn't meant anything to him as a lowly waitress but now, she was a somebody in his eyes. Someone interesting. Someone to be seen with, displaying proudly that they knew each other. She felt something then, and it wasn't a very nice feeling. To say she was disgusted might be an overstatement, but she wanted nothing to do with the man. He was still as fake as he had been five and a half years ago and this time, she could see it. Her eyes were wide open.

Then, the love of her life appeared in her peripheral vision. She didn't even need to look in his direction to feel his presence. She could feel him even from a distance and he made her feel alive and happy. He looked so handsome in his dark suit and she felt butterflies flutter in her stomach. Elliot was carrying their firstborn on his arm and held on to his nephew's little hand with his other hand. Dean was just commenting carefully on her baby bump and Olivia turned away from him to give her husband and child a wide smile.

"Yes, I'm pregnant of our second child," she said, putting a hand on Elliot's back and turning back to Dean. "Doctor Porter, this is my husband, Elliot Stabler."

Elliot nodded, unable to shake hands with the stranger talking to his wife because of the kids.

"And _this_ ," Olivia added, rubbing the chubby cheek of their bouncy two and a half-year old, "is Joy."

The little girl giggled and Olivia rubbed noses with her, smiling widely, before continuing.

"She's the center of our universe and I named her after the look on her proud daddy's face when I first told him we were having a baby."

She looked Dean dead in the eye then, and she could see the message sink in. He stared at her for a few moments, his mouth slightly open. He was stunned into silence. Olivia stared back at him, unblinking, and didn't look away until Dean did. He bowed his head and nodded slightly. He glanced at the family in front of him one more time and then turned around to walk away without a word. He looked like a wounded puppy and as she watched his retreating back, she shook her head. She could see him now. Her eyes were wide open. And she was over him. Wholly and completely.

She turned back around to her family and smiled. Elliot was fussing with the kids, completely oblivious of what had just transpired between his wife and the doctor. Joy reached for her mother and Olivia took her from Elliot, so he could lift up little Calvin.

"Who was that?" Elliot asked her.

Olivia glanced in Dean's direction one more time but he had already disappeared. She smiled at Elliot and when he leaned in, she kissed him softly on the lips.

"Nobody," she said.

And she meant it. While she was pregnant with Joy, she had gradually stopped factoring Dean into her life. She had stopped comparing, had stopped hurting and had started living. The pure joy on Elliot's face had been healing and liberating, and the way he had stood by her every step of the way, even when she started to freak out, worried that she wouldn't be able to give birth to their daughter, had cleansed her thoughts and her emotions. She was whole now and able to live, and love, to the fullest.

...

 **In the next and final chapter, all the little story lines will come full circle. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! Your reviews mean a lot to me.**


	63. Anchored

**This will be the final chapter!**

 **I know the previous chapter contained a spoiler about the baby, but I didn't want to keep the actual birth from you, or their entire wedding day, so let's flash back a bit before I wrap this up. Enjoy.**

...

 **63\. Anchored**

Elliot watched his wife as she walked around their living room slowly, touching the furniture, looking at the many framed pictures scattered around the room, a dreamy smile on her face. Her contractions were still very far apart, at least thirty minutes, and they knew they still had hours to go. Maureen had already picked Joy up, so it was just the two of them for now, like Olivia had wanted.

He was so proud of her. She was so calm and relaxed. So different from the first time she was about to have a baby. The memories were etched in his brain forever.

 _"El! Elliot! Elliot!"_

 _Elliot rushed into the bedroom and then the bathroom to find his fiancé. The panic in her voice told him that it was serious. He found her hunched over on the toilet, her skirt bunched up around her waist, her panties around her ankles and her arms wrapped around her knees._

 _"Liv, what's wrong? What's wrong?" he asked her, his heart leaping in his throat._

 _He knelt down beside her and put a hand on her back._

 _"Blood. There's blood," Olivia croaked, and Elliot's stomach clenched._

 _But he had to remain calm now, for Olivia's sake and for the sake of their unborn daughter._

 _"Let me see baby?" he said as calmly as he could manage, and Olivia carefully scooted forward on the toilet._

 _Elliot could see the traces of red in the bowl, and more fluids still seeping out of Olivia's body._

 _"Your water broke," he said, and Olivia nodded._

 _"I know. But there shouldn't be blood. Right?"_

 _He wasn't sure what amounts of blood were considered normal but he knew that they needed to get to the hospital, now._

 _"Are you in pain?" he asked Olivia._

 _"No. But I'm scared. What if she dies?"_

 _"She won't die," Elliot said confidently, although he was feeling anything but confident right now._

 _He needed to get Olivia up and into the car. She seemed a little numb and did everything he asked her to do. While Olivia cleaned herself up, put a sanitary pad in her panties and pulled them up, Elliot grabbed the bag that had been ready for two weeks for this occasion. Within a few minutes, they were on their way to the hospital. Once they were there, Elliot refused to leave Olivia's side and she held on to his hand the whole time while she was examined. Doctor Lee, their own gynecologist had been paged, and Elliot felt a little better when the woman didn't panic right away at the sight of the color of the fluid that was still trickling out of Olivia's body._

 _"Are you in pain?" she asked Olivia._

 _"No," Olivia said, squeezing her fiancé's hand a little tighter. "But nothing is happening. Please tell me this is normal."_

 _Doctor Lee smiled at her._

 _"There is no reason to worry that you're not having contractions yet, Olivia._ _I'm just going to check how far along you are."_

 _Olivia tried to relax while the gynecologist used her fingers to check if she was already dilated._ _The doctor nodded and Elliot stared at her intently, willing her to tell them everything was fine._

 _"You're already half-way, Olivia," she told them with a smile._

 _"But how?" Olivia asked. "I haven't had any contractions yet."_

 _"You probably have, only you didn't recognize them as such."_

 _"I've just had some back pains these past few days."_

 _Doctor Lee smiled._

 _"Those were probably contractions."_

 _"What about the blood, doctor?" Elliot asked when the doctor didn't say anything about it._

 _"Well, as we've seen on the ultrasound, the placenta is situated very low in your womb. This is most likely the reason you're losing some blood. But as long as you're not in pain, there is nothing to worry about. We'll monitor you and the baby closely, and if we feel there is a reason for concern, everyone will be standing by to make sure you and your daughter will be fine."_

 _Olivia noded. She wasn't completely calm yet, but she knew they were in good hands._

 _"Anyway," doctor Lee continued, "things are looking good so far, but we may need to give you some medication to stimulate the contractions."_

...

It had taken several hours, but once Olivia had been given the go-ahead, she'd shown her true strength. She was staring out the window now, rubbing her belly with both hands, and Elliot wondered if she was thinking about the same thing. He stood up and walked over to his wife. He stood behind her and placed his hands over hers on her belly.

Olivia leaned back against his chest and closed her eyes. She could do this. She wasn't afraid this time. It would all be worth it, just like the first time.

 _"Push Olivia, as hard as you can."_

 _She had never known such pain, but it wasn't a debilitating pain. On the contrary. It served a wonderful purpose and she was determined to give all that she had to push their baby into the world. She had given them so much joy already, and she and Elliot had gotten so much closer over the course of the pregnancy. When she told him the name she wanted to give their baby if it was a girl, Elliot had shed a few tears. He had known that his reaction to the news of her pregnancy had been important to her, but he hadn't planned any of it. He had truly been overjoyed and when they found out that they were indeed having a girl, Olivia had cried again. They had called their unborn child Joy ever since whenever they were alone, and she couldn't wait to hold her in her arms._

 _Elliot couldn't do much for her, but just having him by her side, squeezing her hand and wiping her forehead with a damp cloth every now and then, was enough. And when Joy Stabler was finally born and was put on her chest, he held both of them in his strong arms. She had never felt more complete than in that moment._

 _Joy was perfect. She had dark hair, albeit not a lot of it yet, and dark eyes like her mother. Elliot laughed and cried simultaneously when he saw her, and he knew instantly that he'd do anything to protect this small creature from harm. The responsibility hit him like a freight train, but he was all in. This was what he'd always wanted and he would die for his family if he had to, and live for his family until his dying breath. His daughter was perfectly healthy and Olivia was fine as well. The bleeding hadn't increased at all, and the placenta came out completely intact just a few minutes after Joy had been born. It was the happiest day of his life._

...

"What are you smiling about?" Olivia asked him, looking up at the man standing behind her at the window.

Elliot bowed his head and kissed her shoulder.

"Just remembering the day Joy was born."

Olivia reached up and placed her left palm against his left cheek.

"Me too."

"You're so calm now," Elliot observed.

Olivia just smiled and turned around in his arms so she was facing him.

"We're good parents," she stated.

Elliot rubbed her back and kissed her on the forehead.

"We are."

"We can do this."

"We can."

"So I'm not afraid."

She held him a little tighter and rested her head on his shoulder, until she felt another contraction begin. She lifted her head and held on to Elliot. They breathed together slowly, their foreheads glued together, until the contraction had subsided. Olivia smiled again and then moved away from him to walk back to the pictures on the side table.

"That was a beautiful day," she said, picking up one of their wedding pictures.

Elliot stood next to her and nodded.

"I married the love of my life that day."

Olivia looked up at her husband and bit her lip.

"So did I," she whispered, and Elliot replied with a grin,

"Go figure."

They both chuckled, then stilled, both lost in thought about that beautiful day, almost two years ago.

 _So many people had played a part in their story, and all of them had come. Elliot's family, his two best friends Robert and Declan and their wives, as well as his closest co-workers, had all made the trip to Olivia's town to be at their wedding. When Olivia had hinted that she'd like to get married in her home town, Elliot hadn't hesitated for even a second. It didn't matter to him at all where they got married, as long as she was his wife at the end of the day._

 _Bernadette and Sharon had doted on Joy the whole time, and even Tracy had given Simon a glance from time to time after looking at the adorable six month old baby as well as Vivian's enormous baby bump. Olivia expected more baby news in the near future from her brother and his girlfriend and she loved how their family just kept on growing._

 _When they exchanged their vows, Rafael Barba cried a few real tears. Olivia realized that could have been her. She could have missed out on the best thing that had ever happened to her and she made sure to thank Rafi once again for encouraging her when she had needed it. Rafael insisted that she enjoy every single day of her life with the love of her life, and she promised him she would._

 _Elliot had watched Nick a little suspiciously at first, but the love between Olivia's ex and his girlfriend Cynthia was so obvious, that he was able to let it go after a while. Still, he was glad Olivia had moved to New York. He didn't know if he could stand running into Nick on a weekly basis. He knew her heart belonged to him now, but he couldn't help being a possessive bastard at times. No man except him was ever going to touch Olivia again._

 _Dana and Noah were beaming the entire day, feeling as if they were seeing their own child get married. And waitresses Sandy, Tina and Julia surprised them with a funny song about Olivia's career as a waitress. Julia's daughter Nina was the most adorable flower girl and Kathy, the maid of honor, couldn't stop grinning all day long. The fact that Kyle hardly ever left her side had a lot to do with that as well, and when she and Olivia had a moment alone that evening, she told Olivia that she was going to move to New York as well. Both best friends squealed and hugged each other tightly, until their other halves pried them apart to share in their joy._

 _Kathy had missed Joy's birth, because the little girl had been born a little early and she hadn't had time to get to New York on time. Olivia made her promise she'd be there next time._

 _"Next time?" Kathy asked, looking at the blushing bride a little more closely._

 _"No, I'm not pregnant yet Kath!" Olivia exclaimed. "Please, I'm still getting over having Joy."_

 _"Oh well, these things can happen pretty fast, and knowing you two, you're already practicing every day," Kathy said with a grin, earning her a poke in the side from Kyle._

 _"What?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow. "You think he can keep his hands off of her? Have you seen them together? No way."_

 _Elliot just shook his head wearily but couldn't suppress a small smile. Olivia moved into his arm and moved her mouth close to his ear before whispering,_

 _"You wanna make another baby tonight?"_

 _Elliot wrapped his arms around his bride and answered her softly,_

 _"No, but I'm willing to practice with you all night long."_

 _"Is that a promise, Mr. Stabler?"_

 _"That's a promise, Mrs. Stabler."_

...

When her contractions were fifteen minutes apart, Olivia called Kathy. She wanted her best friend to be a part of this day, of the birth of their second child. It had been right that it was just her and Elliot when Joy was born, but she wanted Kathy to be there this time. Not because she didn't think she could do it without her. But because Kathy meant so much to her. Elliot understood. He knew how important friends were. He owed a lot to Robert and Declan and made sure to stay in touch with them, no matter how often he had to work overtime at SVU. Real friends were hard to find and they had been blessed to have so many of them. Fin and Munch had also stepped up, filling in for him whenever Olivia had a doctor's appointment. They were secretly hoping Olivia would give the detective a son this time, so he could be named after them.

After finishing her call to Kathy, who would be over shortly, Olivia continued strolling around the house. She couldn't really sit still so she just kept moving about, stopping every once in a while when another contraction hit her. She knew Elliot was timing them meticulously so she wasn't really counting the minutes herself.

"I love this house," she said, leaning against the wall next to the stairs. "I want to live her forever."

Olivia had used the money her mother had left her and they had been able to get a mortgage on the beautiful family home in Queens for the remaining amount they had needed to buy it. Their neighborhood breathed almost the same atmosphere as her home town, and she'd fallen in love with the neighborhood as well as the house instantly. Elliot had put up a solid fence around the backyard, so Joy could play outside safely. He'd built their daughter a sandbox and they had a double swing. One for Joy and one for baby, as their daughter had told them. She'd even convinced them to get her a rabbit that she loved to chase around the yard, and so far, it hadn't escaped yet.

Olivia loved to watch her daughter play while she sat in the rocking chair on the back porch. The last month of her pregnancy she'd been home and they had made the most of their time together. Still, the moment Joy noticed that daddy was home, mommy was completely forgotten. It was a joy to watch the little girl's eyes light up just like Elliot's when they saw each other, and Joy really lived up to her name.

And now their second baby was going to be born. Olivia took a few deep breaths, breathing yet another contraction away. The doorbell rang and they knew it was Kathy. Elliot hurried over to the door to let her in, and Olivia followed him a little slower. Kathy was elated to see her friend, and to be a part of this important day. After learning from Elliot that the contractions were now about ten minutes apart, she suggested they go to the hospital so they wouldn't have to rush later on.

"I'd like that. We just waited for you to get here, so we could all go together," Olivia said.

"We'll take my car," Kathy said. "You two aren't going anywhere once we get there anyway."

Elliot grabbed Olivia's bag and checked the contents one last time.

"Phone charger?" Olivia asked him, because she would _have_ to call Joy as soon as her baby brother or sister had arrived.

She missed her little girl already and replayed the short clip they'd recorded on her phone once she was in the passenger seat of Kathy's car.

"Isn't she just the cutest?" Kathy sighed, looking at the toddler blowing kisses as her mommy on the small screen. "And soon you'll have two!"

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled. Two children. She had felt so blessed just to have Elliot, but her happiness just kept multiplying. She took a deep breath when she felt another contraction, and Elliot announced from the backseat that this one was only six minutes after the previous one.

"Almost there," Kathy said, winking at the overly concerned daddy-to-be in her rear-view mirror. "We've got time enough."

...

Nurse Kathy was right, of course, but things sped up rather quickly once Olivia was settled in a hospital bed and hooked up to all the necessary monitors. Their baby's heartbeat was strong and he or she seemed to be sleeping peacefully while Olivia's body was preparing to push them out. This time, they hadn't wanted to know the gender of their baby and the doctors had made sure not to tell them or drop hints. While they had had the name ready for Joy months before her due date, they were still unsure of the names this time around. They both didn't want to name their fathers if it was a boy, and there were too many girls' names to choose from in their circle of friends and family. Olivia felt that Elliot should have the final say, because she'd chosen Joy's name. They both loved Calvin, but that name was already taken by their adorable nephew. Elliot wanted their child to have a short name, just like Joy and had run his suggestions by Olivia. Olivia loved the names and had told him to just choose one as soon as he laid eyes on their baby.

"You'll know what to name them when you see them," she'd said confidently.

Right now, Elliot was feeling anything but confident, and he was glad Kathy was there with them to distract Olivia from the contractions, that were growing stronger quickly now. Olivia had refused the epidural, just like the first time. She'd studied the pros and cons the first time around and had decided she didn't want the relief. Women around the globe were having babies without any pain relief, so she could do it too.

The first time, she'd been terrified of everything that might go wrong. This time, she wasn't. Elliot was so proud of her. She'd grown so much over the past years, as a woman, a wife, a mother and an advocate for abused children. And she'd become sure of herself. Of who she was and of what she could do. She could do this. He knew she could. She was the strongest person he knew.

Olivia didn't make a sound when she finally pushed her baby out. She was completely focused on completing the enormous task, and she was quiet until the child had finally left her body. Then she simply sighed,

"Thank you God."

Elliot stayed right where he was, next to Olivia, while Kathy rounded the bed to look at the new world citizen. He kissed his wife on the forehead and a single tear fell from his cheek onto hers.

"You did it baby," he whispered, and Olivia lifted her head to look at her child, that was beginning to wail softly while the doctor wiped its little body with a soft cloth.

"It's a boy!" Kathy said, her eyes filled with tears of joy.

Olivia held out her arms and the doctor put her son on her chest. She enveloped it in her arms and mother and father both kissed the little boy's head. Then Olivia looked up at her husband. He kissed her softly on the lips and smiled.

"We have a son, El. What's his name?" she asked him.

Elliot looked at the boy on his wife's chest. Their son. Their _son_. He was still crying a little but was already trying to open his eyes. He had dark hair like his sister and was already wrapping his tiny fingers around the fabric of Olivia's top.

"He's a strong little man," Elliot said, his chest filling with pride. "And his name is Sam."

...

...

On Joy's first birthday, they had taken her up to the lake and to the place where they had made love for the very first time, and where Olivia had told Elliot about her for the first time. And they went there again when Sam turned one. It became an annual trip after that. They spent at least two weeks in Olivia's home town every summer, and always went up to 'their spot' and then went swimming in the lake. It was like these places anchored them, reminded them of who they once were, who they had become, how much they had healed and how blessed they were to have found each other.

Despite what Elliot saw on a daily basis on the job, the life he came home to almost every night, was a life of joy. They didn't look back anymore, only forward. And they would always remember to take their time to enjoy the life they had been given, one day at a time, savoring the little moments. Together. As a couple. As a family. And as a safe haven for many. But that's a story for another day ...

 **THE END**

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 **I hope this chapter made up for the huge time jump in the last one, and that it's a satisfying conclusion to this story. I know it is for me. It has been a pleasure to write this original story and I thank all of you for sticking with me until the end. As for the final line - I can see them taking abused children in and helping them on their way. I don't know if I'll ever write that story, but I just wanted to leave you with that parting thought. A strong marriage is a force to be reckoned with in the world.**

 **On another note: In case you didn't know, I recently started a new story, Timeless, which is completely different and totally new for me to write. Maybe I'll see you there. In any case, thank you very much for joining me on this journey!**


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